28 years old and never had a boyfriend!! :(

Heya i just wanted to share my experience in this situation. I am 28 and have never had a boyfriend. I am well educated, well traveled and ambitious. I have always been told i am intimidating because i have always known what i wanted professionally. I guess this is true for a potential partner.

I have only ever been with one guy who i thought cared about me but he only used me basically because i was a trophy. he had never been with a mix-raced girl before and this was seen as popular (dont ask me why). The consequences of this has lead me to believe i am very unattractive and i have little self worth. I understand these are unattractive traits viewed by potential partners as i am naturally shy but this has made it worse.

I am a physiotherapist and fitness instructor and the environment i am in is very male dominated. i have to act tough but clients do see the fun side in me. i meet guys everyday and actually when i am working i am at my happiest so people do see the real me but i can also understand how this can be intimating.

I think for me its hard to keep up the motivation of saying to myself, i am beautiful, i am intelligent, i can be loved when i wake up everyday next to an empty bed. how can i say i can get a date when i never get asked out (and i am to shy to consider to ask out a guy- guys will see this as intimating. how can i say i am beautiful when no one tells me??. no one acts like their interested in me unless they want to use me. I know people who are complete arseholes who treat people like poo and they are guaranteed to pull at the end of the night. i think how?? why?? I am struggling to keep up being positive as all i want is to feel for one second a bit of affection. I am constantly told i am intelligent, bubbly and funny but apparently guys dont want this.

Ever since i can remember i have only been asked out by one 16 year old in his school uniform, one 46 year old, a drunk with one eye and another guy with a mental disorder (im not kidding). i was out with friends once and this guy came up to us and said said to me i was pretty. his friend then approached us and told me he was bipolar and not to listen to what he was saying.

Another thing is if there is a guy i like I have always been seen as 'one of the boys'. i dont drink beer or watch football (or do any other boyish things) but apparently i am a boy??? - guys if you are reading this please explain what this means :)

i do think there are wonderful men who know how to treat a lady and also are in the same situation as us. where they are i have no idea?? i am jealous that i cant have what everyone else seems so easy to find. I am worried that i will spend the rest of my life alone knowing that i can make someone really happy. I do not know what to do anymore and i guess the only option is to accept i am destined to be by myself. i too hate it when friends tell me i will met a guy and i should be patient. im sorry i can wait until i am 60 lol.

so girls what can we do to change this situation??? i hate there being loads of questions and never any answers. i have decided to enlighten my life with things which make me happy. why should i sit and dwell on something that may never happen. im going to travel, do charity work and spend time with my family and friends. my mum and i are going to paris in 3 weeks. i think we need to learn to be happy within ourselves as if we dont find anyone at least we will be happy in our hearts. if we can say yes i did everything i could do, we shouldnt feel bad because guys do not see our potential. I can only hope that someone will see me as i am with all my flaws and also great qualities and say i want to make that girl happy. i can dream right???

it hurts me reading all your msgs knowing you are in the same boat as me, feeling the same way i do, as i wouldnt want to wish how i feel on anyone. after 'that guy' I now know what i never want in a partner. all i can do is forgive and move on and try and deal with how he left me.

i really hope you all find that special someone!!

Please respond with any suggestions or ideas to combat these negative attributes. success stories?? anything :)
chazzygirl453 chazzygirl453
26-30, F
3 Responses Nov 4, 2012

Not female but can relate the most of what you have said. I am educated, social/funny, well dressed, shy but come across as confident in social events. I know I can be loved, I know I am not ugly beyond all reason but when I have nothing to prove those two last statements it makes me feel otherwise. Acquaintances, friends and family have confirmed my other traits. Making friends is a breeze. Finding someone that likes me as much as I like them is a different ball game. People seem to take a liking to me after speaking with me though.

I believe appearance plays a big role. What we wear, how we carry our self and tone of voice can either attract positive or minimal attention. Since losing weight I have been able to wear better clothes and though I haven't been asked out I receive more attention. Confidence is power. Going out helps (no idea where but I have a theory...) as you will be exposing yourself to many men/women by doing so thus increasing opportunity of being noticed and asked out.

I'm still very young and have much to learn and experience. I hope you find someone! Share any tips you learn :)

Hey! If you've figured out the answers to your questions..please let me know! I am pretty much just like you...31...,never had a bf and men only seem to want to use me and don't want to get to know me. Hope things have turned around since you
Posted this!

Not a woman. A guy. I can't empathize with you though. I'm in that age range as well and I've never truly had a girlfriend. Done the online thing a few times. I've learned to be happy in my singleness. Not easy, but it keeps me from being lonely and makes life a bit better. One day I'll meet a beautiful woman, but I still have a life to live.