Never Been, Never Will?..

I have never been in a relationship. And I am a complete fool in the matters of the heart.When I have a crush on someone I start acting so stupid that no wonder I can't even make a normal acquantance with the person. If I like someone I can hardly even speak to the person. (Sometimes it happens even when I don't like a person, but I'm afraid they will think I do, so everything goes wrong again) I turn all the moments given to me as a chance into akward moments. The worst thing is that I can't forget any of these moments. I tried already to find something funny about it. Like it happended to me to make a fool of myself several times in front of the person I liked. It works but it hurts later. And I must seem a 13 years old (this is what, I think, my mind really is), but I'm 25!! It is not like I want to have a boyfriend at any cost. I may sound desperate here, maybe subconsiously I'm, but I don't consider myself to be so. And it could be another part of the problem. I often act like I don't care and so the whole thing is doomed to failure from the very beginning. But in reality I care and suffer, but I I just can't help myself .. help!
Memonster Memonster
2 Responses Dec 4, 2012

I am not the person to go to for boyfriend advice as I have never had a boyfriend, but my decision is by choice, I just dont trust neither them or me...
Why not start with friendship, make sure you become confortable with the opposite sex.
Then maybe start thinking a little differently about it, having a partner is a perk but meaningful relations are not exclusive to boyfriend-girlfriend dynamics, so just start by friends and then evolve?
Also, I'm not sure if I should say it, but I will... sex is not exclusive to relations either... so... get comfortable with the opposite sex...? I don't know if that was going too far... I hope not, but you genuinely sound like you are not comfortable in your own skin and need a little push.
In the spirit of HeDidIt, I send you a hug also and hope you weren't offended by any of this. :)

Thanks a lot for the comment! I think you are right and I like this way of thinking. Though I am not very good at making friends. But I appreciate friendship a lot. Actually I see a boyfriend first of all as a good friend. As for sex, I don't know. I don't feel like doing it just for doing it. You are probably right that I don't feel very comfortable in my own skin, but I think it would make me feel worse. Thanks a lot again. :)

I can't give you any helpful advice because I'm exactly the same as you (I'm also 25) and I know the feelings :) People may call me pathetic and I can't say anything to defend myself, but I really am desperate about it (sort of?). The previous night I had this silly dream about me jumping at a random guy, kissed him and just like that he became my very protective and caring boyfriend, it made me crave for a man's soothing embrace, gave me depression when I woke up to find out it was just a dream ._. okay sowwy I officially don't know what my point is anymore.... I can offer you a mental sympathetic hug though ^_^

Thanks a lot! :)