Afraid of Dating

I have a family history of succesful relationships. For example, my grandparents got married in thier mid-teens and are married now 50+ years. It is incredibly hard for me to date because of other people's expectations and my own. It is hard to find someone with the same general beliefs I have. I'm not expecting anyone that is perfect by any means though. I'm just too sensitive and I get scared and run away from the men. I just can't help thinking things like what would my friends and family think of this person. I guess I feel like they will judge me based on who I date. It's not easy. And the older I get the more I get depressed about it. I think to myself I still have time and I need to get through school first. But its hard for me to care about school when it hurts so much sometimes.

lonely90 lonely90
20 Responses Feb 23, 2009

lonely don't feel to bad I'm just getting back on my feet after my last relationship and the anxiety to date again drives me kinda crazy.<br />
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I mean girls seem attracted to me but the pressure they put on me sometimes to get to the dating part makes me put it in park on most of them. I with you on the online dating part as well it does seem creepy to me. I'm more of a face to face person so not seeing a person and trusting them based on words is hard for me to do

sounds like a plan!!!! lol!!!

Sounds great!! But take HALF of his money? are you crazy? take ALL of it! hahaha! Then Ill split half of it with you since it was your idea :P haha.

lol yes, but on the other hand, you could marry a rich man, and then divorce him a couple years later and take him for half his money!!!! lol!!! and then you would be able to travel round the world no problem, and you could take me with you ha haha!!!! lol

I wasn't thinking of the money thing when I commented last! I guess you sort of need to have money in order to travel, duh! So maybe I will say that a rich person is a priority. haha. no just kidding

yes, you need to get yourself into that position where you can say "ok, ive done the whole love thing, now all i need is the money to go with it"!! lol!!! but maybe just enough money to get round the world and back!!! lol

Yes, that would be amazing! :P But rich and handsome are not priorities. But would be nice :D

maybe one day you will travel!!! maybe one day you will meet a rich handsome man, who will take you round the world!!!! lol

Gross right now weather-wise :P. Its pouring rain. Thats really awesome that you have got to travel, its my dream to travel. I have never left the states :(.

scotland is ok!!! besides the weather!!! lol!!! i prefer where i grew up in south africa though lol!!!! im a well traveled person lol!!!! whats it like where you are?

Same to you cowshed. If you need to chat, talk to me! Yes, scotland is very far from (you guessed it!) the states. What's scotland like?

could be, but doubt it though!! most of the poeple i seem to meet on here are from the states, whereas i live in scotland lol

Well fair enough, guys, but I didn't say date online. Y'all could be next door neighbors for all you know! :)

im not sure i could do the dating thing either, no offense to lonely, im sure she is lovely, but with the way i feel, is a lot stronger than suggested in this story, as i can be very paranoid as well, and in my situation, it goes a lot deeper!!! there is a reason im like this, but just not sure how to get over it!!! however lonely, if you ever need someone to talk to about this, then im here for you!!!

Thanks DiscoveryChick, but I'm really not into the online dating thing, it kind of creeps me out. But thanks for the help anyways.

Cowshed and Lonely, I think you should date if you're on the same continent, anyway....or even if not!<br />
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A no pressure thing. An icebreaker to both your future dating careers. <br />
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Then you'll both have dated! <br />
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Thanks! I really should, but the problem is that I just don't know where to start!

i know exactly how you feel!!! im a man, and im 28 and i still feel like that!!! just always thinking about what people will think of who i decide to date and so on!! i know i shouldnt think that way, but i just do!!! i dont know why i always think these kind of things, and yes i also get depressed about it sometimes!!!

Well you know, when you meet the right guy the excitement might just override all that anxiety. On the other hand, chance is absolutely are awesome. You should give them a chance. :)

You have to date who you want to, not your family. Please make an attempt, you don't know what you are missing.