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Turning 24, Never Had a Boyfriend

i am turning 24 this year and have never had a boyfriend. i've had what i would call 'romantic dalliances' but i don't feel like they were really real. i keep developing crushes on guys, and usually end up being quite close or good friends with these guys, but nothing ever happens. i'm really frustrated because it seems my latest crush has no intention to date me either. i used to think he did like me, because he would (still does) look for me everyday to chat about stuff, but wei've been friends for more than a year now and he hasn't made any move. it kinda blows...i keep thinking there's something wrong with me, or that i'm cursed or something.

i know people always say the right guy will come eventually, you just gotta have confidence etc, but i see so many other girls getting attached, and some of them are not even nice or good-looking. i think and have been told that i'm pretty, and i'm a nice, funny, intelligent girl. it's hard to have self-confidence when this keeps happening. it seems as if guys only want me as a friend or a sister figure.

esteebebe esteebebe 22-25, F 36 Responses Jun 17, 2009

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Its ok.your still young. Well I don't think your problem is getting guys attention since you talk of guys being friends with you.perhaps you could wear lip gloss or eyemakeup if your into that. You need to stop letting guys think they can have you as a friend.when they want you to talk to tell them your busy or simple ignore them.if you want a guy you have yo start a conversation, smile and flirt.you'll get there. I only had one boyfriend so far.but i be been approached by guys interested.

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This is a really old topic, but I'm really glad to read it. I'm in a similar situation. I'm a 25 year old man and I've had 1 girlfriend that lasted a few months; nothing major, very casual, not at all serious, basically just friends. I'm just happy to read all these responses, because honestly I'd feel intimidated if I ever had a relationship with a woman who did have lots of boyfriends/experience.

I have the same thoughts of uncertainty, fear, etc. etc. And I don't know if I'll ever meet somebody nice who I could really trust..because at this point, if I meet ladies who have more experience than me I'd feel a bit disconnected..not as "special" or something.

I'm not concerned about my looks, personality, all that jazz. I'm introverted and I love it, I love my hobbies and I'm really proud of the things I've accomplished over the years.

I'm a bit of a closed personality and quiet to my non-friends, but the friends I do have are the best in the world, and every single person I've had the pleasure of being part of their lives have really all been fantastic influential people.

I can speculate...divorce rate is something like %50, right? And then there's a ton of people hyper dating, jumping from one person to the next..and I put two and two together.

I'm thinking (but not surely convinced) that I, and we, are doing the right thing. Love yourself, love what you do, and that's all you can do. But that's still a lot of things going right :).

Thank you ladies <3

Actually I think the most important thing is:

That you are (if you are) with a person that FITS YOU.
Just dating someone because everyone does is not useful.

First of you have to know yourself before you should even think about inviting someonelse in your life.

Oftentimes relationships happen when you are busy doing what you are compassionate about.

It goes for both genders.

So don't worry yourself.

You are the only one who really knows what /who is good for you.

Yes! I love reading all of these responses, they make me feel so less weird and alone! I am also turning 24 this year and have never had an actual boyfriend, I've gone on a few dates with guys and have even slept with the same guy more than once on a few occasions but they always end up getting girlfriends and losing interest. It really consumes me, I feel like all I really want out of life is love and I've been denied it. I am not unattractive or boring (I think) but I do have depression (because of this bullshit) and I can be introverted and shy, but not always. I keep myself super busy, I work 6 days a week and I'm very fulfilled in terms of my career, which is good because it keeps my mind off of how forever alone I am. But when I'm driving to/from work, or after work sitting on the internet...like I said, it consumes me. Not all the time, but more than it should. Especially when all my friends and coworkers constantly talk about their relationships. I work with animals and will start vet school this year, so of course I never meet anyone at work and I'm sure I wont at vet school (it's mostly women in animal care). Not to mention everyone my age (and younger) is already in a relationship. I know it sounds ridiculous, and I like to think of myself as a rational person, but I truly feel like as the years go by, the more bitter I get, and the less likely I am to ever attract anyone to the point of wanting to date me, and the more hopeless it becomes. It already feels hopeless. If anyone feels the same, I would love to talk to someone. Knowing that others are suffering the same loneliness somehow selfishly makes me feel better.

Hey! I am turning 23 and never had a boyfriend, never been in any kind of relationship, never been kissed, never been ANYTHING! And I keep having everyday and obsessively the same thoughts you have.. I don't think I am THAT ugly or bad, people tell me I'm nice, intelligent, funny, and I myself think I am. Well, not always, cause lots of that depends on mood, but most of the time I think I am nice all in all. And my bestfriends have or had relationships.. you know, my best bestfriend is not that cute, she's not very thin and more silent than me and many other things (but I love her and am happy she's happy with her beloved <3) but she's been in a relationship now for a year and she had one when she was in high shool. another friend of mine had a very serious relationship and dated another two guys, I think. And another one has so much success with guys I'd like to have just one third of what she has. And they're not like the CUTEST girls on earth. But I'm happy for them!! REALLY HAPY! It's just that all this makes me thinking about my situation.. what's wrong with me??
When I started university, I thought I would have found there my twin soul. But nothing. I hang around with friends and nothing happens. I only dated two guys two times: which means one night I dated one guy, and after three years I dated another one for one night. Then it was like we had never met. What's wrong with me? I am not shy.. I mean, I am shy but not so much! It just takes little time for me to get used to new people I meet, but then it's like we've always known each other.
I don't know,, I mean I do understand you, and you know what? Not having had a boyfriend yet really makes me feel sick. Because i feel like i miss something, i feel less mature than my peers, some experiences i've never had the chance to live..
it's not that i want a guy just to show him as a prize or something like that.. it's just i wanna love and be loved and all those things that fill your days with new energy and make you feel like you're the best person on earth. all things i've always imagined.
but they say hope is the last to die.. good luck dear!

Wow, I'm 24 and never had a boyfriend, ever.
It is really nice to read all of these and think, "Well if I am freak I'm not the only one!" so thank you!

I really have reached a point where I've begun to wonder if maybe there is something REALLY wrong with me
I'm pretty happy with my weight nothing crazy going on there.. unhealthy(ish) diet, really blessed metabolism and love of the outdoors, thank you LORD!
Maybe I am really ugly and I've just gotten used to it so I can't tell! I know I have a pretty big nose, that might be it...Maybe if I did something different with my hair, made more of an effort... Maybe I'm too boring because I really don't like small talk (Im introverted, probably doesn't help)... but list goes on...

I think the worst part is I begin thinking I know what everyone around me is thinking... and that makes me self-conscious and then I probable hide even deeper in my comfort zone shell.

Also the grand influence of media shouldn't be left blameless in this situation... all I'm saying...

Constantly being asked by friends and family WHY you haven't found anyone yet... or WHEN are you going to get married really doesn't help you feel more confident. (even if THEY think they're being funny, just don't okay, please)

What is wrong with being single!? If society accepted it more, I think it would be easier for long term singletons to not feel so crap about themselves. Jeez man,

Basically, I blame society.

Stuff them...

ooooh stuffed crust, where's that take-away menu....

I know this is really really old... but I'm 22 and never had a boyfriend. Reading this post and many others has made me feel like I'm not alone in my situation but nonetheless I still feel lonely.
I'm ok with being single because it is all I know but the fact I've spoken to a lot of guys (with potential of romance) and nothing has come of it is what gets me down. I reassure myself all the time that I am amazing and attractive and that I eventually will get into a relationship and the fact I'm single is because for two years I intentionally pushed guys away to avoid a long distance relationship but I can only convince myself up to a certain point before I stop believing the explanations I come up with.
I know that I am enough and I feel like there is nothing wrong with me but WHY am I still single?

To all the single girls out there, a huge hug of sisterhood from me...I'm 24, never had a boyfriend, no dates, nothing, when girls around me have been dating since they were 13! The way I see it, in my teen years and into my early 20's, I was not much of a looker...acne and being fat wasn't much of a help either...Everyone around me enjoyed my company, I was always "friendzoned" with no chance of becoming a potential date...All this, made me kind of doubt myself, that I'm not worthy enough to be loved...When I was 23, I decided enough was enough, shed almost 15 kgs of weight, got rid of most of my acne and started dressing well and taking care of myself...without knowing it, I was falling in love with myself...I started getting a lot of attention from guys left right and center...Men doesn't treat me like a guy friends anymore, they treat me like a lady...But guess what, I find these men superficial as somewhere I feel that if I looked like my old self, these guys wont be around...The guys I have met so far, doesn't really want to get to know me...they just want to be around me for themselves to feel great...this is a sad world, and unfortunately most guys(not real men) just go for the obvious pretty girls...And thus, I'm ready to wait till a man comes along who gives a **** about who I really am than how I look...And girls, if you believe in a higher power please know this, you are not meant to be alone...the right man will come along, even if it seems like he's stuck in a bad traffic...in the mean time, learn to love yourself...make little changes in your life that will build up your confidence and make you feel good about yourself...Lots of love!

Hi esteebebe...Im 23 years old and never had a boyfriend, never been on a date before and I find hard to relate to guys because I always get too stressed out trying to look pretty, fun and interesting, ....I have never been the girl with the most suitors but I had few guys get interested in me..sadly I can count them with one hand..but I always find them too awkard, annoying or boring....

My best friend always tries to set me up with her male friends but for some reason even without getting introduced to them, they ALL fall in love for her and to make matters worse if she is having a difficult time with her boyfriend she goes out with them!!! And I think what the hell!!! how can she have many suitors while having a good boyfriend who loves her like crazy and me that have so much to give dont have anything =(

I hope you can anwer me this letter,

take care

I am 23 and in the exact same boat. Just today I felt horrible about that but I realized I am in college and do have alot going for me , there is still time yet. there is nothing wrong with you and I have had to realize there is nothing wrong with me either. Life will work things out eventually. its just comparing ourselves to others that often causes us misery and pain something of which we should never do.

I am 23, turning 24 soon and have never had a boyfriend. I am very fit, and tall, people say i am funny and nice, humble, honest, trustworthy,etc... But i am not sure why i have never had a boyfriend. I have never been kissed. I guess i don't go out much, as i am not into the clubbing scene- that's where i have found my friends all got their 'boyfriends' from. I honestly don't know where to even find guys other then local clubs/bars. I always imagine one day some guy will magically bump into me and it'll be love at first sight... don't think that's going to happen sadly! I dislike being the only one in the family who doesn't have a boyfriend. Whenever there are social events and family get together i always feel like the odd one out. But the main reason i dislike not having a boyfriend is because I feel so lonely.

I can do you one better. I'm 24 and I've never been kissed. I've never held a guys hand, I've gone out and danced with a guy maybe once and he was noooot attractive. If I ever get hit on, which seems to make me cringe, it's by men who are way older than me. I have to admit that I do look older than 24, I'm a big girl and I wouldn't say I'm a beauty queen by any stretch of the imagination. I had just hoped that at some point my personality would have shone through to overcome my shortcomings, but it hasn't. It all makes me think that it comes down to appearance, which is unfortunate. I guess at the end of the day I have to ask whether I would date myself, and the short answer is no. I wouldn't look me up and down and make any move to pursue anything. I have to lose weight, maybe learn how to wear makeup (I always feel like I'm wearing a costume when I wear makeup so I look uncomfortable) and see what happens. I'd love to say that losing weight will actually just make me confident and attract men to me, but no. I don't think that's true. I'm confident as it is and still nothing. I truly believe that for me, I'm just an ugly duck (notice I didn't say duckling. Those days are gone) and I have to get my life together.

Omg when I read your comment I felt like I was reading something I wrote. I am in the same exact situation. I am 24 almost 25 and I have never kissed anyone, only guys that show any interest in me are guy old enough to be my father or I just would never be interested in. Not only that I too am a over weight but I do try by wearing makeup, dressing nice, and doing my hair I think I am pretty just the guys I like can't see past my weight enough. and to top it all off I am also very shy and I don't have many friends. but yeah just glad to see that I am not the only person going through something like this.

Hi Steebebe, I will be turning 24 this year and have yet to have had a boyfriend. It makes me sad that all my friends have had boyfriends. One friend is even having her engagement party this year. Whenever people ask me if i'm single I always say yes. I tell them I'm happily single, even if it hurts me inside. I have gone on ''one'' date with a friend when i was 18 in my senior year, but nothing happened. Then I really like this one guy, we went to prom and all but he only liked me as a friend. That crushed me. Then for ages 19-21 there was no one, nobody asked me out, nobody looked at me, it was as if I had no life. When I turned 22 I met a guy in one of my classes. He was so outgoing and friendly and I thought we flirted a bit. Towards the end of the semester I found out he made one of my classmates his girlfriend. I was upset to be put in the friendzone, but glad i could like someone again. Then that same year, I had my first kiss, I'm not proud of it. It happened at a night club on a drunken night. I turned 23 and went dancing with a bunch of girlfriends. On my way to the bathroom with one of my friends she says i want to dance with a guy, i say the same. I see a guy, i'm in front of him, but to nervous to make a move. My friend says lets go find the girls, i say just one minute. Then comes a guy and starts dancing with her, I say is a sign and turn around and the cutest guy is passing by and grabs my waist and we start dancing. Things happened when you don't expect it, he wanted a kiss, and having the drunken experience i say no but fall.Two hours later, he's like i'm going to the bathroom, I'm new to the clubbing scene, and I ask him, you don't want to dance with me, and he says he doesn't. I have since dance with one other guy, but nothing. I recently went dancing with my friends and out of five of us, I was the only one not hit on, or asked to dance. I try to smile, and pretend is no big deal, but its a bittersweet taste, and a gut feeling as if you did something wrong. I do consider my self-esteem to be good, but like reading the above post I'm afraid of rejection. I'll be 24 this year and I want to get a boyfriend, not just for the heck but someone meaningful. I hope it happens.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. Just because others are not responding the way you want them to does not mean your doing something wrong. People respond the way they choose to perceive the situation it's not anything you do. As for the other girls getting attached, just appreciate what you have to offer, not just to guys but to everything and everyone. I'm 16 and never had a boyfriend and being in High School,it's hard to see others girls who do. You sound like a great girl that anyone would be lucky to have in their life. See the greatness in yourself first and then others can see it too. I'm here if you need me!

Hi esteebebe and EasyGoGirl. I was reading your blog/comment and giving the fact that it was 3 years ago that you wrote this, you probably have found a solution to your dilemma and your happily married or have met the "one" and about to find him.....but now im the one that will be turning 24 soon and i have a similar dilemma except that i have been in a relationship althought it didnt work as i had wanted it to. That is why i need advice from the pros. I was with my ex-bf for about 2 years. When we splitt, (because i broke it off) ...i always blamed myself for everything in the relationship. Eventhough i was giving more into it than he was. I always asked myself "what i had done wrong for him to treat me like he wasnt serious or if i was someone important to him" we were young and still are...i get that part but la<x>yer after a few months he said he wanted to speak to me and he told me he wanted me back. I told him that if we were to get back together, it would be serious......i just couldnt suffer another heartbreak. And especially with him since we were going to start over a new relationship. For a month i was the happiest girl....we went out, went swimming, dancing and text even.....then one night he said he was having mixed feelings about "us". I knew that moment and then that it was over. That whole month was too good to be true and i was a fool to believe every bit of it. Up to this day i feel like something could happen between us but then i only think....maybe he lied to me again.....again like he did many times when he said he was happy being with me and he just wanted get back at me for breaking up with me. I honestly want to think he just wants to get his life in order, do what knows he cant do before he settles. I know thats what i want to do but i guess i always had hoped i would do all of that with someone who i truly loved and up to this day i haven't changed my mind about him. My family has always said to me, ...." Dont worry, your true mate will come when you least expect it and you wouldn't even have to look for him, because he will find you" I hear that all the time. I dont get out much, giving the fact that i am an RN and work but i dont have friends either. Back then it was me, him, his friends whom later became my friends and then when we spkitt i didnt speak to anyone. I've had one best friend over the years( highschool and college) but she has a bf now whom is his best friend and she has befriended me as well. She has made her life, works and practically luves with him. Im glad for her because i introduced them and i always knew she needed a good man in her life. But the point is .....to focus on myself and coping with the idea of getting over him. My career and my life flashing before my ryes when im about turn24..... That is alot to take in, i could at least have a good amount of friends but i dont have time to make any. But i know that maybe mr. Right might be out thre and until that hapoens, i will always wonder what could have been if i had stayed with my ex and handled my relationship a bit more maturely. What would have happened ....but then i think at times still that if it was or is meant to be....i have done too much to make this work and he will have to make his move if this what we had was true and real and if not.....then another will have to find me instead of me looking for him....

Hi everyone, it has been about 2 years since I posted this and I am turning 27 this year. I'm surprised, honestly, by all the replies I've gotten from girls saying they know how I feel. I honestly felt, and still kind of do feel, alone in what I've always considered a unique experience. But I guess now I know I was and am not alone.

I still don't have a boyfriend and sometimes I do worry that I'm going to be left on the shelf forever. Sometimes I still think that something must be wrong with me, why doesn't anyone like me? But as I've started working I've gained a lot more confidence in myself. I think I've also become more 'chill' regarding this situation, even as I occasionally that time is running out. In my society which is still quite conservative people are expected to get married and have a traditional family life, preferably by the age or 30, otherwise they gossip behind you and stuff. So I'm experiencing some societal and peer pressure as well as a bit of parental pressure.

But I have to say that overall, despite everything, I'm more at peace and happier. I hope that you girls who are reading this don't feel discouraged that someone like me who is in your shoes, am still single now. I don't know where and when I'll meet him, since I don't meet a lot of guys and my workplace is largely female-dominated. My friend has suggested I go speed dating or take the initiative to chat guys up and things like that. But it's just not me! Besides, I've always been a romantic sort and if I were to do that, yes it might increase my chances of finding a partner, but it would be somehow less 'magical'. Maybe when I'm older I'll be pragmatica/practical/desperate enough to do that. But not yet.

In the meantime I've decided to be more open to experiences and try to make more friends, do more things that I wanna do and not wait for life to happen to me. As my married friends like to tell me, it's the best time to do all that before I get tied down for real. They say I should treasure my 'me time' because after they get married, they hardly have any time to themselves anymore.

I suspect that despite their complaints they wouldn't trade their busy lives for mine, but since I'm not ready to search for a partner more actively I'm going to have the make the best out of what I have now.

I don't think I 'need' a man per se, although it may just be because I'm still relatively young and still have single friends to hang out with. My tune might change when I'm in my 30s/40s and everyone around me is attached or married. But I've always been independent and don't let people in easily. Plus I have my own job now and don't need a man to take care of me financially. Maybe this is why I'm still single? Like I said earlier I live in a fairly traditional society (even though we're very modernised) but I get the feeling men around me prefer to be with someone 'weaker', someone who needs them. Which is quite sad and I hope that there are guys around who don't think that way, who are strong enough to be with someone who is their equal in some ways.

Anyway, in closing I'd like to share an article: http://nyti.ms/qCTdJa

I hope that everything works out well for every one of you who has replied and shared your story with me, as well as words of encouragement. I really am glad that I'm not in this alone, although it's not exactly a nice experience to be sharing.

So sorry for the long paragraph, I did insert new paragraphs but for some reason it's not showing up!! &gt;.

Hi texangirl16, perhaps you could explore other ways to make friends. How about colleagues? Or you could take up interests and hobbies in your free time. Maybe you'll make new friends this way...and who knows, maybe you'll meet your future partner there too! To be honest I don't think your ex is good for you. He sounds like he doesn't really know what he wants and you're suffering as a consequence. It may sound cliched but I'm sure there's someone out there better for you...

Hi esteebebe. I want to thank you for your reply. What you tell me is exactly what i hear all the time and i feel better because i know that i have to let go of many things. You are right about him and to be honest i think i always knew that he wasnt sure of me or what he really wanted. I saw all the signs but i ignored them completely. i want to thank you once more because like you said that we are not alone and i think that if you have come to an age as 27 and have not found " the one" or he hasn't found you is because you have learned to value yourself and that is what i am learning now. I have o learn to love and value myself so that other someone can find me .....i too am a romantic and i guess that was a bit intimidating to him, he couldn't handle it or what not but i just cant cry anymore over what i had going on with him because to me it was real and sincere and he didnt learn to value it. I actually did fall in love with him and he didnt know how to handle it. But in 3 years when i look back at these replys and i too will probably find myself in a peaceful state and happy because just like you...am very independent despite my relationship issues/weaknesses.....what doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?......its what people say and i will find that to be true. We are modernized, strong women and know what we want....i actually like to write weighed my options. We have to alive and learn to survive to overcome many battles....we have to see how the story ends and i have a feeling im going to like it...

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Hi esteebebe and EasyGoGirl. I was reading your blog/comment and giving the fact that it was 3 years ago that you wrote this, you probably have found a solution to your dilemma and your happily married or have met the "one" and about to find him.....but now im the one that will be turning 24 soon and i have a similar dilemma except that i have been in a relationship althought it didnt work as i had wanted it to. That is why i need advice from the pros. I was with my ex-bf for about 2 years. When we splitt, (because i broke it off) ...i always blamed myself for everything in the relationship. Eventhough i was giving more into it than he was. I always asked myself "what i had done wrong for him to treat me like he wasnt serious or if i was someone important to him" we were young and still are...i get that part but la<x>yer after a few months he said he wanted to speak to me and he told me he wanted me back. I told him that if we were to get back together, it would be serious......i just couldnt suffer another heartbreak. And especially with him since we were going to start over a new relationship. For a month i was the happiest girl....we went out, went swimming, dancing and text even.....then one night he said he was having mixed feelings about "us". I knew that moment and then that it was over. That whole month was too good to be true and i was a fool to believe every bit of it. Up to this day i feel like something could happen between us but then i only think....maybe he lied to me again.....again like he did many times when he said he was happy being with me and he just wanted get back at me for breaking up with me. I honestly want to think he just wants to get his life in order, do what knows he cant do before he settles. I know thats what i want to do but i guess i always had hoped i would do all of that with someone who i truly loved and up to this day i haven't changed my mind about him. My family has always said to me, ...." Dont worry, your true mate will come when you least expect it and you wouldn't even have to look for him, because he will find you" I hear that all the time. I dont get out much, giving the fact that i am an RN and work but i dont have friends either. Back then it was me, him, his friends whom later became my friends and then when we spkitt i didnt speak to anyone. I've had one best friend over the years( highschool and college) but she has a bf now whom is his best friend and she has befriended me as well. She has made her life, works and practically luves with him. Im glad for her because i introduced them and i always knew she needed a good man in her life. But the point is .....to focus on myself and coping with the idea of getting over him. My career and my life flashing before my ryes when im about turn24..... That is alot to take in, i could at least have a good amount of friends but i dont have time to make any. But i know that maybe mr. Right might be out thre and until that hapoens, i will always wonder what could have been if i had stayed with my ex and handled my relationship a bit more maturely. What would have happened ....but then i think at times still that if it was or is meant to be....i have done too much to make this work and he will have to make his move if this what we had was true and real and if not.....then another will have to find me instead of me looking for him....

I really can relate to you, I'll be 24 this year..I wouldn't go so far as to call myself gorgeous but I don't think I am ugly either..I have been called pretty, intelligent,funny and almost everything that one is looking for, but I don't know why not one guy ever became my boyfriend..i have experience some fling but nothing formal..I am somehow getting frustrated because time is ticking and everyone around me is finding their one great love...I've seen women who are not that good looking to be frank, but they are with someone..it makes me think that I have social deformity or something, why can't I attract boys? It most often ends up with unrequited love..good luck to both of us on finding mr.right or...him finding us..

You're telling my life with your words. I am almost 24 years old now and have always been single. It's not that I've never had 'flings', none of them just ever developed into anything 'serious'. One example, I had been talking to one guy for over 6 months, almost every single day. He told me about his father, how difficult life is, his boring job, his music and how he wanted to make it in show business. I'd always been encouraging him, and sharing some of my dreams about writing for films (as I had been doing for class). When our talks went on that long and we're still not 'in a relationship' I kinda gave up hope that he wanted any thing romantic to do with me (though from the beginning we flirted and called each other using terms of endearment, even though nothing was serious). Nevertheless, I kept talking to him just the same as I did since day one, because he said on that day that we should continue talking as we seemed to enjoy it a lot. Eventually, one day, at the end of our 6-month friendship, after bitching that he'd been feeling down lately, he broke out that 'I' was the root of his emotional problem, 'annoying' to be exact, and that I should talk to him less, if not at all. I respected his wish (playing the nice girl), and later found out that he got himself a girlfriend. I was not disappointed, nor sad, nor broken, to learn that. Actually I was happy for him (and am still), but when I tried to talk to him after that (a few months after acknowledging he's in a relationsihp, not about the topic of girlfriend/boyfriend but about something as impersonal as the Cannes Festival) he seemed uninterested and totally ignored me. That was the point I really think our friendship ended. I'm hurt, not because he didn't consider me 'girlfriend material', but because of the full-blown ignorance that I exist after all that time we spent conversing about something to nothing. I am no longer his close friend/confidante but a stranger, forever.

Hi EasyGoGirl, your friend sounds kind of like a jerk. Like he was only using you when he needed somone to talk to but blew you off after. Hope I don't sound too harsh...and I hope you'll find that there are guys out there who can be better friends and boyfriends that that! With regards to the guy I mentioned in my story, he has since broken up with his girlfriend and is currently single as far as I know... But I'm now ok with the way we are, even though we hardly talk. I met him a few weeks ago (group outing) and realised that I still am attracted to him but things feel too awkward to go back to being as close as we were. In any case, I've moved on and am no longer mooning over him... I'm glad for his friendship while it lasted and I stil have a special place in my heart for him even though I don't like him the way I used to any more. I did tell him after he got attached that I liked him. Not sure why I did that but he said he kind of had a feeling about that at some point. I guess if I were to think about it I could be angry that he 'led me on', but well...what's over is over.

Hey, guess what. I'm a male in his early twenties from an extremely dysfunctional family. Psychologically I've been marred for years, only changing recently. I have never had a girlfirend, ever, not even in school. I can't drive yet either. I feel like scratching the walls and screaming. I don't know much about life or where to begin. I don't even know what life is. I have no independence or freedom.<br />
No one in my family, siblings I mean, can drive or have ever had girl/boy friends. Doom is what it always seems to be. Good luck with your minor problems.

Redeemed - I've completed my education and am now working.<br />
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Hi Nahald, thanks for your comment! My answer may discourage you...<br />
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I'm turning 26 and guess what...still no boyfriend >.< But perhaps becoming older has made me wiser, or it anything a lot less angsty. Probably also because I'm working now and have less time to be emo about things like that. I feel a lot more confident about myself now. I still get attracted to guys easily, but now know what I want in a life partner so it usually never develops into a full-on crush. I don't cry over guys anymore, even if they disappoint me. I don't get heartbroken anymore. <br />
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There's this guy I'm really fond of and we get along pretty well but I've come to realise that he's not what I'm looking for either. In any case, I don't think he's into me, or if he is, too chicken to do anything about it. <br />
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My best friend says I'm "too good" for the guys in our little country. I'm not so sure about that. You'd think someone so good would have been snapped up long ago already, no? <br />
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I don't know if I'll ever find somebody. Actually it still feels like I'll be alone forever, but I'm so busy these days that I don't obsess about it. I'm just working on developing myself as an individual, and hoping that someday, somewhere, some magic might happen. <br />
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I wish the best for you, Nahald! :)

Concentrate on an education- the best you can get- while you wait for that someone.

I realise this thread is old, but I came across it and just had to write something because it felt like looking into a mirror. Next week I turn 24 and I've never had a boyfriend. Last year I got my first kiss, but that didn't turn into anything. I also keep developing crushes on guys, and it breaks me down completely each time because I realise they are never going to want me. I try not to hope, but it never works. I never even consider making the first move because I'm just awkward and wouldn't know what to do. Also, the guy saying no would be even worse than just believing he will say no... <br />
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It makes me feel better that I'm not alone, and I would love to hear how things have turned out for you. Take care!

denverguy: although i've never had anybody i would consider a boyfriend, i suppose you can say i came close to it a few times before. it's a little embarrassing but i have met guys online before. without going into too much detail, there was one particular guy who really broke my heart even before we ever met up. i couldn't stop crying for days and was really quite depressed for a while. <br />
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in hindsight i think it may have been better for me if we had not met up since i don't think we could have made it. and i might have been hurt even worse. but yeah, i have been burnt before.<br />
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in addition to that my love life consists of a long string of unrequited crushes...maybe you have not experienced this before, but it's really a blow to my self-esteem. <br />
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granted, the problem may not be my lack of a boyfriend but really a self-esteem problem.

Honestly Esteebebe I am 33 now and have yet to make my soulmate. Unlike you though I kinda wish i have been single up until now because I have had much heart break looking for my soulmate. Be happy you have not loved and been burned yet.

conflictpersona: i suppose if you don't mind making the first move, maybe something could work out for you. i do mind, so i don't do it. sometimes i feel like i'll never meet someone until i'm 30! <br />
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denverguy: thanks so much, really =)

I hope someday you find your guy who will love you with all his heart.

hey everyone, thanks for all your kind words!<br />
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i seem to be reading a lot about "it will happen once you stop looking for it". i suppose it's true...and i shouldn't get so fixated on it. it's not good for me. i should just turn my attention to myself and do what is important for me, right? and just enjoy life as it is. <br />
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i know i don't need a guy to make me happy. it's just very disappointing when the guy you like never likes you back. <br />
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wildgrass: i'm happy for you! <br />
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joldaker51207: i'm not quite sure what you mean when you say 'try the quiet guys'...in any case, i am actually quite a passive type. i actively make friends, but with guys i tend to be more cautious because i tend to like guys i get close to. so the majority of the close friendships i've had with guys have been initiated and pursued by the guy himself.<br />
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creativegirl94: you seems like a nice and mature girl...at your age i think it's better that you wait too. guys at 15 are not really that great =P like you say, you don't have many friends...so just focus on having friends first? i hope you find someone good for you in the future too. <br />
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that said, i'm surprised to see so many teenaged girls worrying about how they don't have a bf...when i was 15 or 17 there really wasn't so much peer pressure to have a boyfriend. <br />
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solfeather: he's not exactly a shy type...i mean he's told me stories about what he did in the past to woo girls. i donno. call me traditional, but i think i deserve to be chased, and i think he is the kind of guy that likes to do the chasing too. i'm tired of waiting and hoping for him. it's been a year, already. if he really liked me enough he would do something more. i think i'm just convenient for him. =<br />
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hawatari: i don't know what exactly you've been through, so i really can't comment...but sometimes i wish i have had that itch (to have a boyfriend i mean lol) scratched so that i wouldn't always be pining after some guy who doesn't care. in any case, it's never too late to find yourself, right? at 24 i am still learning about myself. and i have experienced heartbreak before...just maybe somewhat different from yours.<br />
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yikes...i just wrote an essay! lol.

Yeah I have the same prob I'm turning 19 and nothing officially mini dates, hook ups of the kissing variety and I end up lying to ppl about my dating history. I just dont know how to get out there same as you. I feel like I'll be 24 too and still where I am now. Funny thing is I want to experience different people and personalities but it never works out, it never gets to the point where that person is officially me boyfriend, so let alone testing the waters in the girl dept

I almost say you're lucky. To have avoided all the emotional distress of young love has enabled you to understand and develop your own personality. I wish I would have never started dating when I was 16, and had fleshed out my own personality. Not what others wanted me to be.