Sometimes I Feel Lonely

I am 16 years old and in 10th grade in high school. I was never really social or anything and actually really shy. I went to a really small private school until 8th grade, then went to a public high school in 9th. I have never had a boyfriend or any kind of relationship like that and sometimes it really gets me depressed. Everywhere I go I see people holding hands, kissing, and that kind of stuff. I've never even kissed a guy before. I get really jealous and wish I could have that. I think it's definatly important to people's health to have that kind of relationship with another person. Sometimes I can't even watch shows or movies that have sexual or love-type things in them because I get angry and nervous (BTW I have anxiety disorder and take meds for it). SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I AM NEVER GO TO LOSE MY VIRGINITY OR MEET A GUY WHO I MARRY!!! It's only 2 more years til I'm 18 and out of school in the real world!! There is no time to waste!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. Fortunately, things  might change after I sub mit this!! There is a special someone in school who I think I have a chance with :)Hopefully I will be happily suprised!

large93walruses large93walruses
18-21, F
6 Responses Feb 20, 2010

lol your so beautiful maria

ashley your so cute

thank you everyone :)

im in 10th grade too and well sometimes i feel the same way but this year i decided that its best for me to not really care about relationships and all. i never really cared about having a boyfriend and this year a boy came to school i really liked him and he liked me too but he told me that he wasnt going to stay in that school for long, he was about to turn 17 and very mature he knew that i liked him a lot and sometimes we would just look deep into eachothers eyes. but i knew that he was leaving and tried as much as i could to not like him so much, he knew that i was doing that and tried the same so that it wouldnt hurt as much when he left. there were times when i didnt talk to him at all for like a week or 2 and i thought that it was best. we never went out. he kissed me once in between classes and i felt like a failure cuz i knew that iwasnt going anywere i was just hurting myself. that same day when we said bye we kissed again, after that i didnt talk to him all we wouldjust look at eachother andit just felt like the real thing but deep down i knew better. he didnt tell me the day he was leaving and at a school event he decided that we had to talk about why we didnt talk for so long, he wanted to make things right and we did i was so happy we played games and stuff and when the event ended we say goodbye,i had noticed that something was wrong and i asked but all he said "no nothing, youll see" i ask him over and over to tell me but he said it would be best if he didnt and i believed that he was right i left but what i didnt know was that i wasnt going t see him again after that he didnt tell me that he was leaving that night. hes the person i think about most and it just hurts, what do i do now?idk just keep hurting and hide it pretend like i dont its a lot easier. i promised myslef that he would be the first and last guy i kissed in highschool and i will keep that promise. My friends have their boyfriends and most of them have been dating for like 2 years...good for them but its high school if you have a boyfriend or not doesnt matter theyre most likely not going to be the person you spend the rest f your lifewith. and well if u have a boyfriend in high school never think and make yourself beleive thatits going to be forever cuz its not.

I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was in 11th grade. Now that I have dated, twice, I don't think it makes you completely happy just to be with someone, being in a relationship isn't what makes you happy, you have to be happy for yourself. Like the saying goes, To love someone you must first love yourself... I believe this is true.. I'm not saying being in a relationship isn't filled with things that could make you happy, but you can be just as happy not being in one. Live life to the fullest don't dwell on the things you don't have right now, you never know what lies ahead..

First of all - There is no sense in worrying about losing your virginity or getting married at 16. Just forget about that for awhile. <br />
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You seem to think that if you get out of highschool, there will be no more chances for you to meet someone to date, and what not. That's not true. There is still college, for example. If you go out and do fun things on occasion, you could easily meet someone, and possibly even find someone to be close to. <br />
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But at 16, you don't need to worry about all that stuff. You should focus on your life, as in career, hobbies and other such activities. Dating is not a game, and at your age, would cause more problems than it would solve.