30 And Never Had A GirlfriendIn my early to mid twenties I was in really good shape, then as time wore on and I found every girl I ever asked out wasn't interested (all of them!) I got more and more depressed. This led to gaining weight and avoiding people in general. Anyway, I've started to lose weight again and feel better about that aspect of myself. However, being single all the time is still really depressing. If I'm honest, more depressing than ever. I've nearly cried a couple of times at work when it crept into my mind, and had to pull myself together or look a complete idiot.
I have a few female friends who are married, including one who constantly teases me with flirting which I kind of don't appreciate. She knows I'm terminally single (she doesn't that I've always been single mind!). If she wants to feel admired so she can feel better about herself, she could pick somebody else who isn't a total loser. It just frustrates me.
I know that sounds like I just hang around with married women, but at my age most of my friends are married or in relationships. At Christmas I got the 'why are you still single?' treatment at every party or visit I went to. That was annoying. Having to pull out the usual excuses 'I just haven't met the right girl yet', which in itself is embarassing because some of my older friends will know I've never had a girlfriend because of the length of time they've known me. Depending on the situation, I even find myself sometimes fabricating past relationships to try and give the image that I am not a weirdo. I genuinely think it's odd at my age to be like this, unnatural when you consider the male sexual prime, and sex is part of relationships.
With regards to single girls, every one I meet never seems interested in me. I don't understand it if I'm honest. I am clean, well kept, not massively overweight, got all my own teeth, dress quite well, good at conversation, and I've worked full time since I was 18. It's as if there's something fundamentally unlikeable about me that women sense! Every so often I fall for someone I meet, then after talking to them it becomes clear (sometimes very clear, as if it's on a loudspeaker) that they're not interested.
I don't really know what I hope to achieve by posting this story. I know some people will have similar experiences (I've read a few on here), but I just need to put this out there. Sometimes I just wish the world would end, or that I could just fastforward my life and get it over with, then I wouldn't have to deal with this anymore. It feels like total rejection.
red2000 26-30 9 Responses 1 Jan 19, 2011