The One.I didn't know whether to update my other story or not, and in the end decided on a new one.
I am 30 (nearly 31!) and still not managed to get a girlfriend. I recently fell for someone who I couldn't have.
It was a girl at work, 7 years younger than me. Absolutely gorgeous. The first time I saw her, I was immediately paranoid about the way I looked. I thought perhaps she might not be a nice person, and it's always easier to not fall for someone who isn't nice, but she was really nice.
It turned out anyway that she was attached and I tried to just let it go, but the more I tried to not like her, the more I liked her. We danced and talked together on a few work nights out, and I've never as good about myself as in those moments - purely down to being with her. It's funny how something like that can mean nothing to one person, and everything to the other. It meant everything to me.
She's left now, and although I have her phone number, email, and facebook I'm trying to get her out of my mind, since I know we will never be a couple.
I've tried to pass falling for her off as me being desperate, and her paying me attention. Dancing with her is the most constant physical contact I've ever had with a woman too, that could be it. I've tried repeating to myself (out loud at home in fact!) that she's not special, just like I'm not special.
I just don't know, I'm going out of my mind knowing I'll never have her. It's had me in tears on a few occasions, and I'm normally very good at not crying! It was depressing enough thinking about never having a girlfriend. It's worse thinking that the girl I'd happily marry today (I know that sounds crazy) is never going to be mine, and that some other guy gets to be with her.
If I could change one thing in the whole world, I would be with her.