Lost And Lonely

Im 30 going on 31 and i cant remember the last time i felt like i was even a viable option to a woman.  I was always the ugly one among the friends i did have but for the last 8 years i have been without friends and without any female interaction at all.  I do try, i have many profiles set up on dating sites and i try to talk to women on those sites for years now.  Never once have i gotten a response or a msg from one initiating a conversation.  I dont understand what the sites are for if nobody even talks to you when your reaching out constantly looking for someone, anyone to give you a glimmer of hope that your still human and not invisible.  I cant tell you the amount of times i feel like crying and the overwhelming feeling of fear that i will never be anything but a lonely single man with nobody to love me and nobody i can share my love with.  Its so depressing sometimes its hard to wake up in the morning.  I have tried therapy and i really mean it i have gone through a lot of doctors and medications.  Nothing i do seems to make a differance.  i wish it were as easy as walking down the street or going to a mall and meeting someone but the truth is after highschool and without a highly social job its just not possible without a great deal of luck and absolutely no anxiety or shyness to meat someone anymore.  I spend a lot of time looking on line and in books trying to see what im doing wrong or if im just broken.  I know i have aspergers and it makes things much harder for me with the lack of understanding body language and other social cues.  however even with that holding me back through school and most of my life i have progressed significantly and feel i have made enough progress that i should be able to have a normal relationship.  In my lifetime i have had "girlfriends" if you want to call them that, a handfull of girls that were interested in me when i was younger but it never lasted for more than 1 month max and most of them didnt even let me call them a girlfriend.   I have been used and abused and cheated on in what was not more than 1 and a half months total time with girls in my whole life.  Never have i had a real relationship or someone i could talk to.  I know i have a lot to offer someone and i know im ment to be more than a lonely man my whole life.  But i feel like i have been forgotten, like god just doesnt see me as worthy of anything but solitude.  Please let me know why i have to struggle every day with this and why i have to tilt further into the abyss of never wanting to return.  Giving up seems like the only way out of the life i just dont see any reason for living anymore.  Does anyone have a reason why life is even considered life without someone to share it with???@comcast
jnm92681 jnm92681
26-30, M
2 Responses May 18, 2012

28 and always been girlfriendless... I feel your pain man. All of it.<br />
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Have you tried seeking support for your Aspbergers? If not, I believe that could help in more ways than one for your situation. Groups can help alleviate anxiety, give you new perspective, and introduce you to some new friends -- and hey, if that happens then one of them might know an awesome girl you'll click with :)

Yeah 32 here and never had a girlfriend. I looked a lot better (and had high hopes for a good career) in high school and that's the only time girls had any interest in me. I know how you feel with the dating sites as they're pretty much useless for anyone in their 30's who isn't pulling 60k a year. And social skills do waste away when not put to use--I have noticed that particularly with people on the spectrum, not having a natural social bent means we need to always be socializing to keep our skills fresh.<br />
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Women in their 30's are primarily concerned with settling down and having kids which (for us) means they're looking for someone with money and a house. So my advice to you would be focus on improving yourself and career and then if/when opportunity strikes you'll be ready.<br />
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You might want to look up Daniel Masterson on Reddit http://www.reddit.com/user/danielmasterson/submitted/ as he is a genius with regards to dating