Single 4 Life

I am a 21 year old guy about to turn 22, I have never had a girlfriend and in this point in time, it looks like I never will. As a teen, I was never a ladies' choice. How could I be when there were much better looking guys in my school? Whenever I asked girls out (scratch that, TRIED to ask girls out) I was turned down 9 out of 10 times. I've only been on one date in my entire life with a girl that actually liked me and that didn't go as well as I wanted. I've been told that I'm a good-looking guy and any girl would be lucky to be with me by family members. But that really doesn't help. I compare myself with guys that look like Men's Health cover boys and decide that maybe girls in my school would much rather be with these guys than me. Right now, I'm not obese but I'm not slim either and my hair is receding already. This wouldn't bother me so much if I was in my forties or fifties but no, I have to lose my hair now while every other 20-something year old guy gets to keep their trendy haircuts. Now you might be saying "You just need confidence" or "You need to like yourself before anyone else likes you" This is completely fallible. How can I have confidence when a girl has already made a decision not to go out with me? How can I like myself when no girl has had any feelings for me. Whenever people ask me why I'm not single, I tell them that I'm just not what a girl wants in a guy. I was even thought to be gay. Can you believe that? Not that there's anything wrong with being gay, it's just not why I'm single. But I guess being single shouldn't be all that bad. The best part about it is that no one tells me what to do. But still, I would've liked to have known what it's like to kiss a girl, make her laugh, take her out, have fun with, and comfort her in need. But apparently, none of that is for me. That lifestyle seems to be reserved for the beautiful, athletic, and rich. Well, if that's what makes the world turn then who am I to argue? :(

gostars3000 gostars3000
6 Responses Aug 2, 2009

Mate, you've pretty much put my thoughts down in writing. I'm in the exact, same, crappy boat as you. I've also got depression. However, I believe in only one life and so, I'm just gonna keep trying. See, the probability for people like us are low. So we just have to try harder to improve our chances.

The crux of what I'm trying to say is to not give up. Try online, or speed date groups or somethin. Besides goin out with friends and stuff that is...

Your 22. Try being 33 and never having a boyfriend, only dating two people in your ENTIRE life. I have something to B!@$ about. Enjoy those 20something years, because they go by quick. Suggestion on the hair loss, go bald for example Vin Diesel, Jason Statham. Bald men are hot. If your not fat but not skinny your in a good place. Just start going to the gym. and do some weightlifting. You'll get better confidence in yourself, when you start taking care of yourself. Now I'm learning that. Keep asking girls out, eventually one will say yes and it will be the right one. But I can't stress it enough, ENJOY your youth!!!!

umm exsqueeze me?! your 22! its not the END OF YOUR LIFE!!<br />
so what no girls liked you at school, it doesnt mean your a failure, it probably just meant that everyone still had a lot of growing up to do. <br />
but seriously, i agree theres nothing wrong with being single. by all means your probably better off in a way being able to concentrate on your career and have freedom. <br />
concentrate on whats happening with you at this moment in time and (sods law) three girls will come along at once. <br />
22 isnt the end of everything. if it is that means your condeming me to ancientness too!! :)

You will never find yourself in anyone else. Not on TV, or on the cover of a magazine. Your searching for something that no one else can give you. Your putting the responsibility of your happiness on someone else. If you don't think women feel that, think again. Your confidence should not be someone else"s burden. <br />
Take on one fear at a time and conquer it. Take in the feeling, that is what confidence and happiness is. No one else can give that to you. When you do get into a relationship, and you will. That person can only add to that happiness. <br />
Good luck in conquering those insatiable fears. We all have them. Facing them head on makes for a happy life.

Dude, awesome story, I can totally relate =D<br />
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Well I can tell you right now (and I know you'll find it hard to believe, trust me, I know haha) that you WILL find someone. Whether its tomorrow, next week, you never know. <br />
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But, your at a perfect age to be meeting girls. Girls at this age tend to stop going for 'the macho guy' and actually start noticing the guys who are smart, kind, caring etc. and that sounds exactly what kind of guy you are.<br />
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Now, you also have to admit and realise that it is very unlikely that a girl is going to drop her books, you walk up to help her pick them up, and its love at first site haha, so you need to get out there!<br />
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Hang out with ya mates at the mall, beach, clubs, wherever! I've been knocked back countless times (just about every guy has) but who cares, move on. <br />
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Trust me, it WILL happen, and there are steps to make it more likely to happen, so head up, keep healthy, smile, and get out there ;)

You are WAY too focused on "getting a girlfriend". Everyone out there is not having a ball in relationships. The smart girls look beyond looks and the really smart girls aren't looking at all. You are very young and need to focus on developing yourself. Not some image that you think girls will like. Take it from me, <br />
a lot of those girls who date guys for looks end up miserable and stuck with them forever. Looks are for a limited time but your character that you develop lasts a lifetime. Judge Judy has a book with a title similar to beauty fades but dumb lasts forever. I wish I would have given those "nerdy" or "plain" guys a second glance because now they are Doctors with money and happy wives. They may not look like Brad Pitt but they are nice, gentle, kind and a silent sexy I never knew existed. Now I am in a marriage I hate with a man I thought was hot at one time. My life is a miserable existance because of it and I will not walk away because we have kids. So don't be so hard on yourself and actually spend time building yourself and cultivating yourself. While you do that someone worth being with will notice and that is where you will find that relationship you desire. Don't be so hard on yourself. I had a friend who was bald before he was out of highschool and he was really popular in college. He is very happy now with a wife and two kids and travels with his work. Be patient you're young and have plenty of time.