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I Am 29 And I Have Never Had A Gf

I am kind of a shy guy, I am a geek and I have Asperger's which is a form of autism that makes social situations difficult for me. I have a few friends but they are mostly fellow geeks or crazy people.

I seem to keep getting teased by girls and I don't know why. In high school there was this girl called Simone (she liked to pronounce it without the e). She teased me on a couple of occasions, once during lunch break where she got me in a corner of the playground and tried to get her hands in my boxers. Another time she and I were in a computer lab where we were supposed to be typing up essays for English class, it was just me and her. She came over to me and started touching me up and asking me to have sex with her. I didn't want to get her pregnant or have her claim I raped her so I refused, but she continued with her touching. Eventually I relented and she laid on down on a table in the center of the room. I tried to unbutton her blouse, but I stopped because I really had no idea what to do and I was pretty scared. Although I told a teacher about the former incident - I am not sure anything happened to her, I never told anyone about the second incident. It sticks in my mind, because I will never know what would have happened... and of course I have had no chance to have actual consensual relationships since.

I have met quite a few girls on the Internet, but they have tended to be more friends than girlfriends. Distance is always a problem since I live in England! I often see girls in my life who I'd like to talk to but I don't really know how to approach them and I am scared they will think I am a freak. I have had in the past a tendency to stalk people I like, mostly online, reading everything they post and trying to work out where they live, planning public transport, etc... I know it’s kinda crazy.

Back in September I started college again, this being my 2nd try, 2nd college! I got to meet up with a girl I befriended on Facebook (who I originally met through the Zoosk dating service). She's 19 and not exactly the first pick, but I thought she was a fairly nice person - she is also studying computing. We swapped numbers and got talking and texting more. I started to tell her about my lack of a sex life and she suggested we have casual sex. Often I would talk to her online and we would plan for me to go to her house or her to come over here (I about 30 mins drive from the college I go to in another city). But she would always stand me up and I would feel crap about it. A few times she has texted me to say "I am bored, come here and keep me company", but it hasn't turned out the way I thought it would be in my head. Two weekends ago she texted me in a similar manner and told me to go to Wigan (a town about 20mins train ride south of here). I got up and got dressed and got on the train. I arrived to find her with 2 mates, a girl and a guy - they were both dressed kinda emo and with little respect for the fact it was cold and had been raining all day.

No-one had any ideas of what to do and none of them had any money. I was beginning to think this would be a waste of time, but I suggested that we could go to the movies and I would pay. They all had bus passes so at least we could get to to where the movie theatre is. Lindsey and her friend Kylie had been drinking vodka and Pepsi all day, but I figured the guy - Ryan was sober. After 2 bus rides and a lot of complaining we got to the theatre - I suggested we see "New Moon" the 2nd Twlight film, but Lindsay didn't want to see it yet cause she hadn't see the first one although Kylie and Ryan had both seen it already and didn't object. Because of this we ended up waiting 90 mins for the next showing of “The Descent: Part 2" and again there was much moaning about the fact that they had no money - although I  brought them a drink and candy. It was during this time that Lindsay told me she never planned to sleep with me because she had it too good with her boyfriend. I had previously been led along by her telling me that he was OK with her sleeping with other guys.

When the film finished the real **** started, we had waited until 9:30pm for it to start after getting there at 8pm. It was now 11:30 and the last bus to where they lived had gone. Lindsay tried to get her boyfriend to come pick them up, but he had to work the next day and hung up on her, she then started crying. Although there were night buses they don't provide quite the service the day buses do and wouldn't get them all the way home, plus their day tickets were no-longer valid. I had had enough by now, I offered them the use of my phone since none of them had credit, but it seemed that none of their parents would care where they were anyway. I gave them £10 to get home and then went to get my train. Lindsay and Kylie were both very angry with me and when I got home I deleted Lindsay from Facebook and blocked her and Kylie.

So she teased me, she robbed me and totally wasted my evening. But I would still like a girlfriend; perhaps I will be a bit more discerning as to who I give my number to next time.

 

nerd8192 nerd8192 26-30, M 5 Responses Dec 16, 2009

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Holy crap.<br />
To be honest, I'm applauded you even had the patience for these intolerant kids - Damn, I would just have told them to go **** themselves.<br />
Kudos to you, my good sir.

God! Would I love to go back to highschool. Just to have those chances, no one will ever forget high school, mmmmm.

I am sorry you where treated so badly by these people. Don't give up. I am 26 and never had a bf, I am ok with that and me. When the time is right you will meet the right one and not those who just want to use you for money that is just very bad manners!

Hey man keep at it...I am 22 with Asperger's Syndrome and it took me a long time to start dating as well, now I have a stable relationship with a very nice girl. My advice s to relax about it, once I did that I found the right one...as for being a freak we all are in our own way, me especially. So good luck...

Kudos to you for going back to school! Glad you realized those people weren't your friends! Having casual sex with someone is not really having a relationship, it's just taking care of a brief need. It seems that you are waiting for something or someone to come to you; you must put some effort into getting what you are looking for; which I'm guessing is a solid relationship. Aren't there any groups that meet in your area where you could meet someone who shares the same interests?