Love Is a Word Not Spoken Here

My mom has never told me she loved me. Matter of fact she makes it a point to tell me how much I owe her for not  having an abortion with me. I wonder if she had showed more love towards me (or actually loved me) maybe I'd have turned out different. I couldn't name my own son because I OWED her.

Now, that I'm a mother I make sure to tell him I love him at least a few times  a day. Now, she wants me to sell my house (that I paid off in 08) to pay off her house because I OWE her and she shouldn't have to suffer the payments of a house. I'm not going to even humor the idea. I'm done, now, with wishing or pretnending that she cared or ever will care about me.

Avamia Avamia
22-25, F
8 Responses Mar 12, 2009

Then you're right. It's time to walk away and you can do so without looking back. Your son will be better off away from this woman's influence, and it sounds like your life will be a lot more peaceful too.<br />
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I wish you well with it. I admire you - you are a courageous person and a good mother; as well as a good daughter. Take care of yourself and your son.

I think the bestg thing you can do is just raise your son the best way you know how, with alot of love. You will receive love in return for all the effort.<br />
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As for Mother, tell her you love her but dont expect it in return. I also would not be doing any financial business regarding your Mother. Its not your problem.<br />
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I am want to tell you though, my parents didnt tell me either for years, I just didnt need to hear it either.<br />
I knew they loved us - all seven of us...<br />
She loves you too. Some people just cannot and will not express openly. Good luck with that.

Thanks everyone for reading and showing support. I was told the same thing about my mom (her having a mental illness) from her brothers and sisters. They told me she's been like this since they were small. She broke my uncle's arm because he was in her tree house (she pushed him out of a tree) and she broke my aunt's arm (by breaking off the leg of a table and hitting her with it)because my aunt got a ride home from school from my dad. Some family members just plain think she has the "devil" in her.

I have told her that I loved her. She told me that love isn't real and its just something men tell you so they can f*** you. Those were her words exactly. I do love her because she is my mom and she did have me and now I know what NOT to do with my kid. I stopped caring about trying to make her love me when I was 16. I had gotten my very first pay check and decided to buy her a ring for mother's day. When I gave her the ring she said it was ugly and I just should have given her the money instead. Thats what did it for me.

How dod you turn out so well? Some people have the <br />
<br />
worst parents. I am very glad that you learned from<br />
<br />
thier horrible mistakes. You are a much better person <br />
<br />
than she ever hoped to be. You owe her NOTHING. She<br />
<br />
should be ashamed. Raise your boy with much love and<br />
<br />
you will be rewarded by far. Much happiness!

good for you, it seems your a better mom than she was. life at a twisting turn. Yeah

I feel really sad for you. Even more so for your mum - as Cali said, it's her loss. How horrible to not even be able to take pleasure in your own offspring. Well done you for being so loving towards your son. I am highly impressed that you have developed such resources, given the emotional poverty of your own upbringing.<br />
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Do you love you mum? If you do, I have one suggestion. Tell her. Even if it's just once, even if you never speak to her again. Look her in the eye and say "I love you." You may have it in you to heal something in her.<br />
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Sorry if that seems presumptuous. My mum never said she loved me or showed much affection either. Throughout my childhood she frequently said she wished she'd never had kids. When I was 18 I told her that I loved her. It wasn't even true at the time - but our relationship slowly started to change. Now I love her very much.<br />
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I'm not saying that the same thing will happen - your situation sounds more extreme to begin with - but you may find that there is healing even for yourself, if you are able to do it.

It's been your mom's loss all this time...