I've always kept a straight face about it. Until this morning. I had a horrible nightmare about him. He was a ghost in my dreams disrupted my life and whispering things in the halls that I couldn't understand. I've never had dreams about him before now.
My maternal grandparents raised me and my mom got it together when I was teenager so they are all the family ill ever need. My dad left when I was a year old? He was a drunk a drug addict and abusive to my mom. But my family says there was never a doubt that he loved me. My mom left him and he had supervised visitation rights. He also had to be drug tested before he saw me. He went once and never came back. I'm guessing staying clean was just too hard for him.
Its hard to know hes out there somewhere. He could be married with other kids, he could be living in a hole alone with a bottle. I want to know what hes like. I want to know why he never came back. I want to find him but im so afraid of what will happen. I dont think I want him to be a part of my life, I think I just want closure.