The Power of Crack

To be honest with you...I grew up in a very sheltered home. My parents neither smoke, drank nor used profanity.  When I learned of crack cocaine and the effects of it all, I found it difficult to understand.  I have a very close friend who has suffered this addiction. 

We grew up together, lived on the same block.  She is older than I and I remember when she got pregnant at the age of 13.  I didn't really understand what she was going through.  I honestly had no comprehension of what it was to be pregnant.  I just know things changed and we were no longer hanging out and playing "Charlies' Angels" in the backyard.   After a while her mother passed away and she was never the same.

I remember seeing her on occassion walking the streets, prostituting.  She began stealing from her family to obtain that ultimate "high".  She stole money from her grandmother (God rest her soul), has stolen from family members, and betrayed the trust and loyalty of all who love her (me included). For the life of me I couldn’t relate or understand why she did the things she did.

Years passed and she maintained her addiction to crack.  She watched her brother overdose and continued to use.  After watching everything it caused her to do and be, there is no way I’ve ever wanted to try it.

ichooselife ichooselife
36-40, F
5 Responses Mar 24, 2009

I smoked crack once and never again. I had a bad comedown for DAYS.
Don't smoke this cra(c)p! DON'T!
I beg you!

Be grateful you don't get it. . I used to ask the same question and looked at one of my girlfriends that used the same way, "How could you?" I learned first hand. It consumes you. Especially if there is any drama, depression and upheaval in your life. You feel unable to control major circumstances that led you to that path to begin with.<br />
That is the one thing that gets me when I am watching shows like Intervention and the families of those who are addicted sit in judgment "How could you do this to the ones you love or love you?" Its hurting them so badly, imagine what it's like to be the one addicted? You never can till you've been there - they cant love themselves enough to stop so how can they sit there and wonder WHY? or HOW? could they do it to them(family, friends and loved ones) . Yes I know they hurt watching their loved one go thru addiction-but pls don't take it as a personal hit, like the addict has gone w/ intention to sabbatoge the relationships. . . . Tis the DRUG sick mind in charge. To me that is a selfish question. They are sick with addiction. That high is the one thing that numbs the pain of life, the past, what lies ahead. . . Just as selfish as the choice to remain an active user. <br />
I'm sorry you felt betrayed by your friend, but try to understand that is the drug that consumed here at the time. As an addict myself or more so a user I know I felt genuine remorse for taking advantage of some ppl that may have helped me. . when I sobered up. I hope your friend is still sober and doing well. This affliction I believe never truly goes away. I fight the thoughts, dreams, memories and relapse is a reality for every addict in recovery.

I still don't understand how anything can make you hurt the most valuable people in your life. It hurts a lot and I often feel very betrayed. People tell me I'm not going to understand because I don't have the addiction. I still just don't get it.

I love her very much but finally had to let her know this year how her addiction has affected me over the years. Thank God she is finally clean (hope this time will stick). She celebrated one year in February of this year. Perhaps we can begin as real friends again. <br />
<br />
Thank you for your love and understanding WarriorMom. :)

As an addict who understands the addiction, ending 2 yrs ago, I admire your story. Family dysfunction is really hard to deal with and I'm sure there is a big difference between hers and yours. Of course you couldn't understand, and I thank God for you.