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Well We Can't All Be Beautiful I Guess

Why is it so much easier to recognise your negative traits? And when you're focusing on them, no matter how many people tell you differently, you just cant see past them. It's all very well to say beauty is in the eye of the beholder- but what happens when all of the beholders have the same ideas about beauty?

I've always had a problem with self-esteem; having an anxiety disorder for 18 out of 21 years didn't really help that! I've only recently begun to recover from some of the negative thought processes I was living with, but I still know I could never think of myself as beautiful. Let's face it - some of us are just not blessed with natural beauty. However, I guess what I can work on is not letting this define me -not buying into the idea that just because I'm not attractive I'm worthless. It's very easy to fall into that trap though, in a society where beauty seems to be esteemed above all else.
nadiney nadiney 18-21, F 4 Responses Dec 8, 2011

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Despite the blurry photo I can figure out that you are very good-looking. There is this book' the history of beauty' written by U. Eco (I hope nobody considers this an advertisment), primarily a book of art that shows the evolution of the concept of beaty through literary texts and artworks. If you find it in a bookstore just look inside it. It will soothe you

ba<x>sed on your profile pic, I think you look gorgeous... not only that, but you fit that perfect Western standard of beauty... at least in my eyes. I know I definitely don't with my african features and wiry curly hair.

I don't think there actually is just one standard of beauty - at least I hope not. That seems far too narrow-minded and boring. Different traits appeal to different people, as everyone is constantly telling me, but the media is still trying to project this "ideal" of how we should all look, and somehow we all seem to strive towards it! I've always wanted really really curly hair!! Probably since mine is always either a limp mess, or a frizzy disaster. I guess we're just never happy with what we have! haha

there definitely is a standard. i know because i've been on the short end of it. growing up i've always felt like the ugly one because i wasn't this or that enough. i am jamaican american and i have went to pretty much all white schools. guys have never looked at me, and i dunno if its because of my looks (because plenty of people have told me that i'm pretty) or because of my race. that's my experience, but that standard is definitely there. at least here in america it is.

Ya know, I have this same disorder too (Im johnnynitro, the one who commented on your questions thing). I constantly think Im the ugliest son of a ***** on the planet, even when I look up pics of ugly people on google images.<br />
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But let me tell you something - you're not ugly so don't feel depressed. <br />
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All I can say is **** superficiality we should all be slimy and gray so this problem wouldn't be as profound..

haha you google ugly people?

I agree - **** superficiality!! Good looks are something that no one has earnt, it's just luck of the genetic lottery!

Oh yeah, I have the internet. I google lots of random crap, what else is there to do?

**** Darwin, why did he have to be right? Honestly back in the hominid days everybody looked the same, at least it was all about abilities back then.

I guess as a wise man once told me - "nothin u can do dude"

Focusing on the good sides is hard because you are lowering your self esteem. If you start looking on your good sides step by step it'd be easier.

I don't really understand what you're getting at there Kathy! How is focusing on your good aspects lowering your self esteem?

she means its hard for one to focus on their good points because their self esteem clouds their perspective.