Never Had A Reason To Believe

I am an only child and I grew up with a single mother who was treated poorly as a child. Something was always wrong with we in her mothers eyes and that transferred to me. She was deprived food because her mother thought she was too heavy. As early as I can remember I was told to wash my face it had blackheads or no snack because it would turn to fat. I have suffered acne since elementary school as well as always being chubby my mother has always had something negative to say about my appearance anyone I've ever dated has never told me I was pretty or beautiful I was actually told my an ex I was the only fat girl he could ever love. Now I am married and have been for a year and through out the whole time I have been with my husband he has not said one time I am pretty or anything of the like. I have to ask him if I look nice and it's always an indifferent answer like "you look fine" I don't feel bad about myself per say I do suffer an old eating disorder but it was brought on from medication not body image it would just be nice to be told just once something nice not negative or indifferent.... Just one time.
Silversyren Silversyren
22-25, F
Jun 24, 2012