The Reefer Man

In 1966 I decided to give marijuana a try.  In 2000, I figured I'd had enough.

I haven't tried it since, but I doubt it's changed much. 

ElLagarto ElLagarto
56-60, M
40 Responses Jul 15, 2007

lol......took you a while!

I'll bet you're one of those people that can have half a glass of wine too.<br />
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At AA meetings we talk about you folks - we just don't understand you at all.

Yeah, full possession of your faculties is being true to life in it's entirety.<br />
But I can't seem to give up a toke around the fire and giggling with my girlfriends. <br />
I should be locked up.

AMEN Soul Sister #1, talk about it! Testify! There is nothing quite so splendid as being in full possession of your faculties and experiencing 100% of what life has to offer - the total payload.

Chemical intoxicants of any kind are really just distractions away from the main event of reality, are they not? There's nothing else in your life to feel good about, so why not drink/smoke/snort/inject/pop one? For my money, that's just the easy way out. And as much as I understand the allure of that way out in many circumstances (and at the risk of sounding like a complete Pollyanna), I sincerely believe that the only way to find genuine, lasting happiness is with a clear head and a clear heart.

Glad to be of service Celainn - I think! It's true that pot doesn't make people fight or shoot each other - and stoned driving - while not recommended - is just not nearly as lethal as drunk driving.

Amen - and more than I care to try - I'm already over quota! I'm not here for a long time, I'm just here for a good time. It's a sad and beautiful world, and every day is a minor miracle - if there really is such a thing as a minor miracle.

My friend, I'm so glad you made it this far so I'd get to meet you. And yet you capture perfectly how alive it can feel to fly towards death. <br />
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There are more ways to live a life than I'll ever begin to understand.

Perhaps I expressed myself poorly. Certainly I know what it feels like today, I live in it today. I just can't imagine what it feels like at 17. At 17 I was just beginning my descent into the company of Rimbaud, Coleridge, and Byron - not simply flirting with oblivion, but diving into it as one dives into the arms of a lover.

"My God! I can't even begin to imagine what that feels like."<br />
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Let me ask you this, El. What about that simple, unending upward impulse towards life that's always there at your core, no matter how you've tried to drown it, bamboozle it, cover it up, exploit it? Isn't that the same thing?

"By the time I was 17 I knew I was grown, and I no longer wanted to hide from my own life - I wanted to go out and meet it on my own terms." My God! I can't even begin to imagine what that feels like.

Too late to wake up a dead thread?<br />
<br />
Like Witty I thought drugs were childish things you put away. I started pot when I was 10. I tried everything that interested me - acid, opium, MDA, speed, coke, mushrooms, hash. Times were tough enough that I welcomed opportunities to get into states of consciousness other than my regular one.<br />
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By the time I was 17 I knew I was grown, and I no longer wanted to hide from my own life - I wanted to go out and meet it on my own terms. I had never been an everyday user so the next step was easy. I stopped using all drugs on a dime, and went off to college.<br />
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And once I did, like Witty, I was shocked to find how many adults were actively using drugs. <br />
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That was a while ago. I don't judge people for their drug use like I did when I was a worldly wise 18 y.o. I've since learned of the concept of self-medicating - trying to salve the wounds of growing up and living in a unpredictable world. And I can still see some of the allure of the expand-your-consciousness school of thought. That said, I've hated the way people changed under the influence of their drug of choice - sudden warmth and openness, belligerence, vampishness, whatever - since I was little and that hasn't changed for me. <br />
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I make no claims of knowing what most people have on their plates, or what their best choices for coping are. But the best way for me to be at home in my own skin, I do believe, is to face whatever threatens me, analyze why I'm bored and change it, look for what I can do to step up rather than looking for ways to step out.

sounds like luci is ready for invisible driving

your right not many car wrecks happen with your high. I drive slower than hell while high, but it feels like I'm doing 100mp. I tried "silly sally" once. The buzz only last for about 15min, but it's an incredible, yet scary feeling.

EEK! I'm such a late bloomer! I didn't try weed until my One Year Anniversary at age 22 with my hubby! Tried twice after that. Guess what?! I'm allergic to it! Plus, I'd rather have an alcohol buzz any day of the week over a pot buzz. But on a funny note, my Grandpa a few years ago (he was in his 60's then) forgot he was growing pot up against his corn stalks in the field. He remembered quickly enough when he started burning down the old, dried stalks, and realized he had a buzz! ;P

I'm still young, not even in college yet, but i have a bit of experience under my belt. I tried weed for the first time in my freshman year, and at first it didn't really do much for me. That year I also tried coke and "trip-c's." coke was weird, gave me a headache and it was expensive and hurt. i liked cough medicine,especially robotussin, which weren't so costly and i could get legally. i liked the feeling, and the reassuring feeling that one bottle could get me going and i was set. But during my sophomore year I got a lot more into drugs. i sort of rediscovered pot, and i started smoking heavily, before school after, sometimes before i went to bed or in the shower, that kind of thing. part of it was because i was trying to cope with my broken heart (boo hoo), which ironically was caused by the boy who got me into smoking and was doing the exact same thing to deal with his own problems. i also started thinking, falsely, that it helped me do better in school and the like. i would smoke before tests whenever i could. during that year i lightened on the robo, tried LSD and loved it but for the fact that it isnt the kind of drug you can take and then go home in a few hours. once you start, it takes up a good portion of your day, or night. sometimes i would stupidly drink just so i could get to bed in that last stretch (bad idea). but all my drug use came to an end last summer, at least for a time, when a friend of mine ended up smoking meth. it was a *****, but me and some other people who cared for her kind of snitched and got her help right away and she got sent to rehab. shes all good now but i think after just those few times last summer she got really hooked. it scares me and now im a moderate user of everything. alcoholism also affected my family and i dont drink so much. trying to quit my camel habit, which the local gas stations are doing a damn good job of preventing. but i still take a few hits every now and then, if my friends have it and (this is terrible) i don't have to pay. i guess i figured out what most of you did and realized im better off without any kind of drug, but sometimes i do miss it. i dont need it though and i felt bad how i would always take my parents money to pay. anyway, great sharing with all of you, some of you guys seem so experienced, im jealous hehe.

You grew up - I didn't. My adolescence lasted decades. Fortunately I'm old school - LSD, hash, reefer. I've done coke, but never developed a liking for it - you can actually feel it beating on your heart. Plus, as Robin Williams said once, "Coke is God's way of telling you you've got too much money."

As a teen, I thought pot and other drugs (except alcohol), were things teens experimented with, but once you were an adult, you put aside such childish things. I never was a heavy, or even moderate, drug user, but since pot was cheap and it was what my friends usually had, that was what I used when I used anything. I never did like pot. I was relatively shy, quiet, an observer. When I smoked pot it made me even more quiet, I could sit in a corner and entertain myself by just watching the interactions of others. By the time I was 18, I had moved out of my parents home and stopped all drugs.<br />
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Boy was I surprised years later to find out some adults did smoke pot on a regular basis. I still don't like the effect and haven't had any since I turned 18, but in my early 30's while on a business trip, another female employee I was bunking with had cocaine and I tried it. After that I knew that was something I had to stay away from, I liked it too much. It had the opposite effect on me, I was talkative, outgoing and (at least it felt like it) funny.

Now you're cooking with gas!

Had a day without this weekend, was reminded about just how boring a sober weekend could be. Still, I jumped into a good read of New Scientist and retained a lot more info (Usually I read it at work). Did some juggling, which seems to wipe any obsessive thoughts from my mind, and everything was...boring. Read sci-fi magazines, watched TV, sunbathed. Ah well, that’s real life I guess.<br />
I write fairly consistently regardless of intoxicants. W33d just sets my muse off on its trail a little easier, and helps me hear the muse over my own petty concerns. I write as if I'm leaning against a tree, and my muse sits on the other side and tells me what to put down. Ellegarto, the ego is indeed a problem, hard to beat down with a stick. I try to imagine myself as the vessel for the story, I didn't make it up, the story makes itself; I just translate it. But damn that ego, towards the end of writing the novel, only a month or so ago, I was stressing because I doubted my ability to create a suitable ending. In the end the best option was to stop freaking out about being a good writer, and just let the story develop. My characters were strong enough to fall into their own magnificent meaningful ending.

El Paso, Apix, I've played that town.

Whatever you call it, put it in your pipe and blaze. =)

You're so young! Indeed, Thai stick and gold bud. How about Maui Wowie? As intoxicants go it's far more benign than booze. Nobody fights on weed, or wrecks a car. They just lose themselves in Ben & Jerry.

Thanks for the explanation - it now makes perfect sense. The nomes de plume on this site range from the sublime to the ridiculous to LaLaLaLaLa. Yours is a bull's eye - goes very nicely with the photo as well.

Oh...do you think it is bizarre, my name? I wanted both sides of myself to be represented...

And...guess what...I just saw on the news El...that it is a Movie. Imagine me and you in a movie...<br />
Yes. I tend to think that energy flows better when it is uninterrupted and not under the influence...<br />
I only started writing stories recently, so I am new at it, but I find that I write good ones when I am high, and good ones when I am not...I write crappy ****, too in both states...so I think that it is the personality that operates on this drug more than others<br />
I know I won't do it forever. Have a great day, El.

Mystik is on point, as ever. Bear in mind that I am only describing what works for me - what works for you - you will find out for yourself. Creativity and intoxication have gone hand-in-hand through the centuries - but I think this has more to do with the "creative personality" than the benefit of intoxicants to the process. (Creative types tend to be more sensitive, risk-taking, and indulgent.) For me, writing creatively is very hard work - it requires focus and discipline. I eliminate distractions and allow my subconscious to take control of the wheel. I get out of my own way and let the stories tell themselves. I send my ego on an errand. I move away from thinking I am the master of the story and get to the point where I am the servant of the story. It's a mental shift, really, no heavy equipment involved. - I used to smoke a joint every day on the way home from work - I had one rolled and ready. By the time I was about 3 miles away, I was lost in whatever music I had on - looking at the world outside my windshield as if it were a movie.

you are both right. it depends on the person and it affects everyone differently.

I'm sure you're right about it not being specifically a creative agent, and I am very careful not to turn it into one. Especially given the lessons that other artistic lives teach. Like Stephen King, a hero of mine(To the mockery of those who consider him bad taste), wrote some of his best work under the influence, and yet his work after he dropped the heavy (Very heavy) drugs is as good as earlier work. You do not need drugs to be creative, that’s for sure. No doubt if I was in a lifestyle where I had access to huge forest walks and parks and plenty of free-time, I might seek inspiration elsewhere. For now, as I said, it simply helps to get in the flow. <br />
Luckily I am not guilty of that fallacy of believing it helps creativity, as I said, it simply helps me loosen up if the words are not coming, or the idea will not work in that moment. I do not doubt that it could be achieved with self-reflection and introverted attention, and one day I will use those methods, just not today. <br />
How do you prepose to stroll and unlock doors? Meditation? or something else?

When I lived in the south, I had a friend who owned a tobacco farm. He set one field aside for pot. Every now and then he'd come into town for a visit with a garbage bag full of home grown. Those were the days all right. We'd get out our little Bugler rolling machines, some bourbon, and Pahtay.

I'll say - "homegrown is all right with me". Just wish I could grow it. Those were the days. Being a hippie was fun.

I think it's a fallacy to believe that drugs make one more creative - my creativity has soared since I abandoned them. Rimbaud gave it a run, combining them with exhaustion to create a "poetic state." But the "liberating" - "loosening" effect of pot can be achieved just as easily by strolling inside your mind and unlocking the doors you've been afraid to open.

The only reason I do not say more on this particular topic is because I’m on the ‘experience project’ at my job most of the time, and so am always worried about the administrators remote viewing program named ironically ‘N.I.C.E.’. If they see me say something particularly incriminating…well, for now its best to be careful anyway.<br />
I will say that I am fairly routine with this, and have been for a few years. I have a regular woman that I get ‘it’ off, although she has begun to fall into the most recent heavy dr*g to hit this country named after the letter following O (Which is defiantly a story worth sharing if I get online at home again), she is pretty consistent, and appreciates a regular she can trust.<br />
I am glad to see obviously intelligent people bucking the cliché by knocking off the stuff quite easily and living fulfilled lives. I know that there is no physical addiction, but the mental one is pretty strong. The ability to relax on a whim, but as others have said, it does become an expectation that I will relax through this means. Especially when it is so readily available. Even now, writing in unspecific terms, I would not admit how much.<br />
I agree with and second almost everything you’ve said Brutmystick, as usual, and its good to see we are of the same mind on something else. Why it is that society shuns people like us?<br />
And as MisterAlyx said, I am now wondering about money. The desensitisation is a big negative. Use it often and it’s not as good.<br />
Plus, it’s a big help with semi-fluid thinking, when I’m stuck on an idea for my novel, or the words just do not flow into the fictional scene, a little bit of this and I’m ready to go.<br />
Some people use anti-depressants, which are definitely addictive and often affect ones personality quite significantly. I find none of that in this. <br />
Anyway, wrote this at work, so have been particularly safe in my choice of words. This could be a business correspondence I’m so safe.<br />
Regards<br />
Smebro<br />
Retention specialist

Silly Goose. The bizarre pseudonym I was referring to was "BrutMystik" - evocative and mysterious. I am no pachyderm, nor am I an alligator (el lagarto) - although it's safe to say I enjoy their company.

you mean it's just a psuedonym...you mean you are NOT an elephant?

After being a chronic pot-head for 34 years I was amazed by how easy it was to give up. It made me feel apart from the world, and I wanted to feel that way. Now I enjoy having a clear head - and I enjoy feeling connected to the world - even if the world is - in this case - an abstraction on the other end of my keyboard with a bizarre pseudonym.

Yeah...it is good. But mostly a habit for me...it does take the edge off of life...but if I had to live w/o it I could...I think. maybe. I would definitley ********** ALOT more...<br />
I think that it comes down to, if you think you need it, you do. If you don't think so, then you don't...I don't know. I know I smoke, mostly, because I am sad. There was one person who gave me the same feeling, that same connection-it was like a drug. But, no more.

You kids and your funny names! Now blonde hash - that's something else, we can talk about hashish for a very long time - did you know the word provides the root for the word assassin? Afghani hash was always my favorite, it bent in your hands like tar. Came in disks the size of hockey pucks, you could see the maker's seal on the top. But these other names are new to me. All I can tell you is by the time I quit the stuff was multi-colored - lots of gold, brown, orange - in addition to the green - and would cause you to lose track of what day of the week it was in about 7 minutes. That rose, by any name you choose, was pretty sweet.

i'm glad u had the motivation to quit. i smoke it nearly every day (but the experienced smoker gets bored and thinks about money). i try to quit, but my entourage keeps tuesin n savin me on joints. its not that i need it as some of you goverment *** kissers have been told, it's just that i enjoy being high. it's like teh TV. ppl love it but can live without. congrats . ps (if you smoked a joint now, ud feel almost like the 1st time u got high) ;)

oh sure, there is trainwreck, sno-caps, champagne berry, blond hash, bluberry gobbler, crashing muppets and my fave, sasparilla.