Fear...

I have dealt with nightmares since I can remember. When I was little the only way to not have them would be to have someone else in the bed. The nightmares became so frequent that I ended up just sleeping with my mother until I was in middle school. When she got remarried I had to sleep on my own again and the nightmares returned. They were not as frequent so I was okay until I got to high school. They were beginning to happen every night and be even more graphic than before. I would imagine that people were in my room and I would wake up from trying to get them out. I went to the doctor and he put me on Trazadone to help. That made sure I did not have any dreams at all. When I got to college I took myself off thinking that I would be ok. I was fine for a couple years but my junior year they came back at full force. They would happen every night and would not go away even after I woke up and went back to bed. The only dreams I would remember were the nightmares and never the few good dreams I had. I wake up either sweating, from yelling or talking, or from the fear that is coursing through me. I have such a horrible sleep pattern that it is starting to affect my school work and I the Trazadone makes me so tired the next day that I don’t know if taking it helps with the drowsiness. I don’t know the last time I have gotten a full night’s sleep without any disturbances or ramifications the next day. All I want is to be able to sleep without the fear of watching my family and friends die around me or having someone in my room trying to kill me myself.