My Nightmare

When I was young and little and it doesnt happen now but you will never know what hits him but if this will re occur I will get help involved so dont worry...I was brutally abused by my father,and made me suffer for a long long time and it made me terrified of middle aged men  , each time he would abuse me..he would give me welts on my back from the belt, internal brusing, and outer brusing...and each time he did that made me feel like an animal that was branded all over its body...not only that he would abuse my mother as well, whether he was drunk or not, and as I tried to pry him away...he would slam me against the wall or punch me in the face...not only there was  physical scarring, there was a horrible one emotional with my nightmare, that I get.....In my nightmare I wake up in my bed wandering out of my room hearing my mom and brother silently fleeing and locking the door I reach the door I can seem to open it....and with that noise..he awakes and comes into the room with the belt and he starts to beat me over and over again....until when I wake up there is no more physical pain...but horror and anguish and those feelings keep me awake..until dawn..or morning and it affects my afternoon nightmare reaccurs like maybe two times a month or three...I'm in therapy and learning to deal with no worries :)

ImMichaelJacksonBad ImMichaelJacksonBad
18-21, F
4 Responses Jan 10, 2010

So sorry to hear about it, and what happened to you. Maybe you can leave home and found someplace far away from your dad, and find innerpeace in your heart at someplace no one knows you.

Oh, that is horrible! I am so sorry to hear what happened to you!

I have nightmares that keep me awake, but it's not really comparable...

I also suffered this way, though not as badly as you. You will make it.<br />
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One suggestion: I had a male and a female therapist. This helped me to form new, healthier role models for male and female behavior and interactions.<br />
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God bless you. Keep praying and trusting Him to continue to heal and even blossom you, dear survivor, new woman in Christ!<br />
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LOVE to you, sister!