No Dreams..

People have dreams..I'm not talking about the sleeping kinds, I mean dreams.. what you dream to become, what you want to do, what you like doing. All this stuff, people have that. But..if people have it, why dont I?

I've made a few stories recently, all about me bitc*ing about myself. I don't like doing it but I've been having a existence crisis.

I was talking to my girlfriend (and a friend on here) about what I should do with my life....she said I shoudl do teaching..I thought yea why not I'll have a read about it when I get home. As soon as i read about the time I had to put in it, and the different types of qualifications, all this complicated scared me shi*less. Ofcourse every decision gets complicated when you read into it, i know that.. but then why does it still scare me. I think i'm scared of failing. I'm scared of sacrificing time in my life, and money, for doing something that might not work out. I also know if you dont try you wont succeed and trying is better than not trying at all. I do get that, but it doesnt really help.

Maybe I should just man up and throw myself in something.

But what.. Fuc*. Sorry for the dots, I get like that when i have a lot on my mind. Can't be as*ed being grammatically correct. I think my problem is that I think of reasons why I will fail. I think of people who can do this better than I can. This feeds me into running away. Failure hurts more when you've tried than when you haven't.
BronzeEspada BronzeEspada
31-35, M
2 Responses May 22, 2012

I don't think you're scared or failure, but of success. Or perhaps there is something else, besides teaching that you want to do, but you are scared to try that because you think you will fail. Please take my suggestions with a grain of salt as I am trying to help. I have considered all kinds of careers and started training in a few, just because I felt pressurized to do something (by my parents, peers etc) but even when I had some success it did not make me happy. Listening to your friends/girlfriends advice is positive, but ultimately you need to ask yourself what you really want.

I used to have dreams when I was a kid. They have faded over the years. Now it's like it's too late to have those kinds of dreams. It's depressing. Failing definitely sucks. I think that's part of the reason that I don't try more things. But don't live with regrets. Get out there and do what you want to do.