I can't stand this longer! I have no willpower to live a "normal" life.....that's terrible. I want to reach things and have the will to make something....but I haven't......It's so difficult to live the life that you want to live......So difficult....
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5 Responses May 14, 2007

Boy do I know what you are talking about! Wish I knew the answer. Is this the human condition or just for some of us?

I can relate to you. <br />
<br />
Having no control over yourself really does suck out your willpower to want to live a normal life. Because everything you are pretty much willing for is as good as a tv advertisement or a bunch of bs.

I have consistently battled my thoughts, I never knew if I was ever truly in control of my life...<br />
The world tells you so much of which we dont even realize is computed into subconscious decisions. We think we are making our own interpretations of our desires and therefore feel like we have made our own decisions but have we...?<br />
I have had a plan for my life since I was 16 years old, it involved me working my *** off for a goal of mine,,...I did everything I could of done to achieve this goal and now I sit at home, a depressed, in debt 25 year old failure.... and the funny part is I failed because of what I know as the lack of control of my life. <br />
Certain situations presented themselves at what I perceived as the worst possible time, I wont go into details cause honestly who cares really... Anyways, I'm a deep thinker and I could go on and on about control or the illusion of it, either way I feel forced down this path because all my actions in the past were to avoid this and yet still.., here I am...

I can definitely relate. You are not alone. So don't give up, fight with the rest of us. As I am typing this I feel like my past life is gone and my current life is out of my control. It is a strang feeling..

Awww sweetie. i'm so sorry you feel this way. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}