Some Family That's Estranged, Some Friends Who Are Distant ...

My mother died when I was 6. I turned 50 in december. My only sibling, sister, has been estranged most of my life since our mother died. In 43 yrs. I've seen her about 7 times. She had 2 children, but I never saw them when they were born. I only saw her son twice, once when he was 4 and once when he was 19. I've only seen her daughter 5 times ever, and she's 29 now. This isn't by my choice ...... it is by my sister's choice and also the choice of her children even as adults.

My dad raised me, and he died in the beginning of 1999. I have some cousins, but no one to do anything with on special days. I see them once every so many years when one of their parents' die or something, for a funeral only. They all have spouses and children, but I have no children and my husband died, and he was more like a friend because he was gay.

I've tried many times to make friends through the years that I could do things with, like go see a movie or get a bite to eat, or take a walk together. I never found anyone like that. I had a lifelong friend who I spent time with in my early years, from 5 yrs. to 17 yrs., but through adult years we mostly just talked on the phone, and every several years we'd go to a concert together. He died nearly 3 years ago. When he and I did things together it was many years ago, so in the last 20 years I haven't had hardly anyone to do anything with. Now in the last 3 years, it is like I am cursed. I have many health problems, and don't have hardly any money, so no one wants anything to do with me.

I had no one to do anything with on my 50th birthday in December. This has been very painful. On top of that, I had been trying to have an online relationship with my niece, on facebook, and she and her partner came to visit me in October of last year, but things didn't work out and she and the partner defriended me on facebook. Mostly they thought I was uneducated, because academic education is very important to them, and I have no college degree.

No matter what I tried to talk to them about they treated me as if I was so stupid. So even though I tried very hard to make my little studio apartment comfortable enough for them for 2 days visit, cooked for them and cleaned up more than usual, even though I have trouble bending over and stuff, they did not clean up after themselves when they left, and so I said something to them. All I wanted was to point it out and I felt I deserved an apology, which I did not ask for, but both of them freaked out and made me out to be a horrible person, which I am not. I'm very considerate, probably too considerate.

So they both defriended me, and not even my own sister called me on my birthday, which is usual, but i thought maybe it would be different somehow for my 50th birthday. I spent Christmas alone, and new years too, which also isn't odd, since I have many years in the past, but again, I thought it would be different this time.

All of my so called 'friends' have family they do things with, and are married with children, etc., so they have people that are more important in their life than I am, so I am a thought way in the back of their minds that they mostly forget about.

I'm creative, and caring, but I am also loud sometimes, and when my blood sugar is low I am not good at social situations ...... I won't commit suicide because I think that life is sacred, but I am dying faster anyway, not only because of health difficulties, but because I have no one who cares. I've even told people and reached out, but it's human nature for people to shun the weak, and I am now viewed as weak at this age ....... over a 100 pounds overweight, no money, no savings, so people stay away because it's like a stigma that says something must be wrong with me .......

anyway, I don't even know if anyone reads this stuff on here anyway .........
everyone deserves love ......... i want to start volunteering somewhere, but because of my car in such bad shape, and how sick I am with various issues (am trying to get disability income), I haven't been able to get out to check out where to volunteer. I don't know why I can't find friends to do things with, and it sucks that my family members don't care and never have ......
2LOVEnBElovedNreturn 2LOVEnBElovedNreturn
46-50, F
4 Responses Jan 11, 2013

Hello 2LOVE -- Your story is similar to mine although I know my isolation is down to me. I chase people away and, since I'm complete alone, I am pretty good at this. I wanted to wish you a happy birthday and best wishes. I hope you're in a better place this year.

I guess birthdays, Christmas, New Year and the like are always difficult as they tend to make you think hard about how you are doing with your life, what faces you in the years ahead, how you have ended up at the position you are in life and why, sometimes, you are alone in the world.

Hello, and yes there are people reading your post. i feel a void in my life also. Im 26 single, woman. i rarely talk to family. its always some mess and gossip all the time. my mom died when i was a teen, i was 19 when i found out that the man i thought was my father...wasn't. im left with unanswered questions as to where i came from, whether i have siblings on my dad's side. Its hard. i spend my Christmas, new years, birthday just like any other regular day- no calls/ text. its difficult to live a life that way, but i have to find the strenght to maintain. i have a estranged brother whom i havent talked to in years. i work full time, and i have been thinking for the past 2 years about moving out of state. Although the place i want to move , i dont know anyone, but i feel it would be better than where i am. i need a new scenery ,a chance to meet people. if i ever meet a nice man one day and we seem to like each other, i feel i may be rejected due to my dysfunctional family because it has happened before. but just mainly want you to know that you are not alone. its a blessing to se 50, and i pray God's will that i would live to also see that age. im praying for you , keep me in your prayers as well.

Happy Birthday for December. Hope you are not feeling too bad today.

Thank you. It was nice to log on here and have a message. Have a good day.