Sexual Abuse And The Effects Into Adulthood.

Adult here late 30's No family or Friends. Victim of Sexual Abuse since the age of 5 by my father.

From a very young age i was abused by my father. It started out with touching and grew into much more than that and did not stop until i was 15 years old. I had told my mother when i was about 11 what was happening and she just said to me i will take care of it. No other reaction except i will take care of it. Needless to say, she never took care of it and actually participated. She would drag me by my hair and kick me on a regular basis.

It finally all stopped when i told my best friend at school who in turn told the guidance councilor. My uncle (dads side) and aunt and parents were called to the school as well as authorities and i went home with my uncle and aunt that day. Growing up i never knew anyone on my mothers side. As far as i knew her mother left her young and she grew up with her aunt. Her father and brother both passed when i was quite young. And that is all i knew of my mothers past.

The abuse stopped, well physical and sexual, but then there was lots of verbal abuse from my aunt and uncle and my whole family on my fathers side. In one breath they would say this is not your fault , then the next thing would be well too bad, this is the way it is type of attitude. As if i cause all this. I worked two jobs while in high school and finally graduated.

Right after graduation my aunt and uncle who owned a two family decided that they were going to go from living upstairs with me, to moving down stairs and that they were going to let my mother (now divorced from dad because he got deported from the US) live up stairs where i was. I got tossed out of my bedroom and was told i had to sleep in the little inlet that let to the 3rd floor and share the space with my mother.

I refused to stay and had to move out when i was 18. Got married at age 22 had two children and then got divorced at age 28. My husband then would hit me and push me when i was pregnant. He cheated on me and we got divorced. He married the woman he cheated on me with in the end.

Now in my early 30's i remarried and this man is wonderful, but i am suffering from PTSD, IBS, RSD , Fibromyalgia, panic attacks, anxiety and severe depression. I go see a therapist to work through things, but its hard when you have no support as in family or friends.

I know i cant change the past, but the future hurts just as much at times.
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 17, 2013