Always Alone

http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Was-Sexualy-Abused/3558900

I put my story above because I not want to repeat it.

I send my pa to jail with a few men of the many who hurt me over ten year of life. I never been school in life and I rescue by FBI before my 14 birthday at start this year. I never been outside except to move from one place to another. I never played except to be play thing for men or place now. I will find as many as I can help them with. I hae never talk with any my age except kid who same life as me but we taught never talk about life. I can never have child my own because my privates so damage by men and my pa. My ma got me my first man to one who pay the most. She leave with other man 3 years ago. My life is ruin. I join here just days ago to tell my story. I have already find a few nice people to talk with and I think maybe some other also might want to talk. I have trust problem cause every one I ever trust has be tray me. If anyone want to talk I all alone in world. A new world with nightmare and much lonely. I only 14 so I not want bad people talk. I had enough of this all ready. So now I left one prison of bad and live in another to protect. Please talk with me.
DashaisDead DashaisDead
18-21, F
4 Responses Oct 14, 2013

It is with the deepest sorrow that I have to inform you of the death of the child you knew as Dasha. We did everything possible to try to keep her safe from her desire to end her life.

She was a wonderful person to know and after everything she went through in her short life; her willingness to help or assist anyone was her primary ambition during her stay with us. It is truly disappointing that for the most of her life she was continually abused to such an extreme that she felt impossible to continue to live. She left a letter asking that her friends from this site were informed of her passing and she asked that you forgive her for doing what she felt was the only option she had to end her torment that the continued abuse had made life to be.

I have read through the mail she has received and sent from this site, it saddens me to say that even here people were contacting her in a sexual manner. From their profiles, many of them state they are male adults. It truly angers me that anyone who will have read her story's here would write to her in this way. I will add however that we are doing everything in our power to hunt and capture anyone in this country of ours, to protect and rescue vulnerable children from the clutches of evil people.

For those who didn't know from her, her birth name was Elizaveta. She had never had any schooling whatsoever but once we had her here she showed outstanding ability at math and problem solving activities. We did a learning skills IQ test on her and the findings were incredible, she showed an IQ standing of 195; which is far an above the national average and would of placed her in the top 5% in the world! Which makes her loss even more upsetting, as had she had the want to live on, then she could of achieved anything she would of wanted to do.

At 10:17am this morning we went to her room as we had seen no movement from her for over half an hour. She had recently requested the use of a treadmill machine and we had delivered one to her room. There was nothing unusual about this request as Elizaveta had difficulty seeing in daylight due to her prolonged captivity in darkness for much her life, so the treadmill would of helped her exercise indoors. She has placed a towel into the track feed area of the machine and using the remote, had activated the machine whilst the loop was round her neck. It was impossible to revive her and we did attempt this with the aid of our trained medical team here.

I'm sure like ourselves here, that her passing will cause you distress and should you be at a loss with how to deal with this emotion, then it is our expert opinion that you seek medical assistance to help with the grieving process. This can be through your own doctor/therapist or with one of the excellent toll free contact centres that are available 24/7. She expressed that the ones on her friends list here were the only friends she had ever had in life so she asked us to thank you for all the kind things you said to her or assistance you offered her upon her finding this website. I can tell you that she was a very beautiful and unique individual, that she had a wonderful smile and was always pleasant with everyone. One of my greatest memory's of her was shortly after her arrival here, she had been shown our garden area and was out playing with one of the centres pet dogs. She was running barefoot on grass with the blind less enjoyment of a young toddler, which now as it did then; brings a tear to my eye. We tried to give her the love that had been denied her for yer whole life and she left various notes for us individually. I hope this shows that even at the end of her life, her prime thoughts were always to others. She asked me to add that for the young ones she spoke with here, live the life that was so viciously denied her during her adolescence, that is to say live life to the full and smile when you think of her because she has the peace now that she never had in life.

I cannot at this time give you any contact details and it will not be possible to give any information of her funeral. She has requested her ashes to be spread around the gardens here, so she is were she felt the safest in her life. I am adding this as a comment to all her story's here, so that others viewing them can see how vicious and cruel any abuser of a child is, that is to say that even though Elizaveta was rescued that the memories of her ordeals made it feel to her she had no other option to do what she did. I will leave her profile open and will check back in few days to see if anyone wants anything read or has messages they want placed on her flowers at her forthcoming memorial. She has asked for the music to "Lion King" to be played at funeral.

Once again my sincerest condolences to all that have communicated with her or have made a comment on her stories. I will display the date and time of her service as soon as I have them, so that anyone can join us in a minutes silence as respect to remarkable young lady.

Linda.

So sorry to hear of this!

I am always, I mean as far as possible for me, I am here to talk to you...

I am sorry to read about what you went through, I hope you have seen a professional counsellor!

I am so sorry! Talk to me anytime!

Thanks :)