I Broke Ties With My Entire Family

Hard to believe that the people I grew up with, my family, have not been part of my life for a few years now.  But .... it was the best decision for me and I have never regretted it.

Of course it gets lonely and there has been the odd occassion of missing the good parts of them.  But when the bad outweighs the good and they are always bringing you down - it is time for them to go.  It was a circle of abuse from them I was caught in, and it was time to save myself and get out.

This decision was best for me, it is not best for everyone.  I had to come to terms with the fact that my decision was going to exclude me from knowing anything more about them .... did my sister get married, any of my siblings have babies, did anyone get ill or die?  But again, I was and still am, willing to give that up to stop the abuse.

They may be family, but it does not mean they automatically have your best interests at heart.

JDPG1721 JDPG1721
41-45, F
14 Responses Feb 11, 2009

Send me an email, we'll be friends, family too..you're are not alone! God Bless!

Hello everyone .... I am back on this site after a long long time away. I am just getting caught up on all the comments now.<br />
Thank you all for sharing and supporting .....<br />
I just wanted to say that to you all before I scroll back up and read each comment more slowly now to give it the full attention it deserves.<br />
Thanks everyone! Be well and drop me a line anytime!

I have a similar story. My parents divorced when I was in High School and I was very close to my Mom until recently. I never liked my dad because he was not nice to me and put me down many times. I have 1 brother and he was never close to me. In fact, he respects and hanged out w/ his own friends and never was a friend or brother to me. I ionly saw him when I was w/ either parents. Then I got married and decided to confront my dad that his was of treating me is not right and is demeaning. It turned to a big fight and I distanced myself from him. He got offended and we never talked for 5 years. My brother in turn stopped talking to me. I am happy that they are gone. However, my relationship w/ my Mom has always been strained. I had a fight w/ her over my relationship w/ my brother and she bad mouthed me. I found out she talked trash behind my back and cut ties w/ her. I don't need drama like this. I just wanted a normal family but they are not nice to me and in fact never were. I have no regrets and am happy eventhough it gets lonely sometimes. Loneliness is better than constant fights and family dramas. Good to know others have similar stories like me. Thanks for sharing, I feel I am not alone.

Hi, I cant believe there are so many people like this, I know not all familys are perfect and that there is always someone worse off than ourselves, but I hate the situation in family. My father has been very ill for about 6-7 years now and my mother is a nervous reck. I left home when I was 18 and soon after moved in with my boyfriend and since then my sister has held this huge grudge of jealousy and resentment against me. All I ever get from her for the past 6 years is nasty comments and mind games. I would love to just be able to shut her out of my life completly until she grows up but she has a son now and has moved back near my parents. Every time I go home she is there now and the tension is so high, and I feel like I must go home and see my father as he may not be with us much longer. For now I am just visiting him when I can dreding and hoping that my sister wont be there. Its awfull to say but im starting to not feel any love for her any more and I hate myself for it. Thankfully I am still with my boyfriend for 5 and 1/2 years now and he is my rock although he does have his own family issues too so I dont like putting it all on him sometimes :( Thank you for reading and sorry to read about all of your situations but try all to keep your head up and put your self as number one.

Hello all. I myself became family less after my mom died in 05, my brother never had anything to do with me because I a am Ugly. and my Girlfriend left me so it's just the lord and myself . I hope we all one day can say we found happiness but I haven't as yet. I hope to hear from you soon.

Hello all. I myself became family less after my mom died in 05, my brother never had anything to do with me because I a am Ugly. and my Girlfriend left me so it's just the lord and myself . I hope we all one day can say we found happiness but I haven't as yet. I hope to hear from you soon.

I can relate to your story and what you say is so true. I often feel like I should cut some of my family out of my life for good rather than suffer the emotional abuse caused by them. My goal is to eliminate all of the negative people in my life who try to bring me down. Thanks for sharing your story. It helps to know that you are not alone.

I also had to leave my family for my own good. I was emotionally abused my entire life by both my mother and father. I suffer from anxiety and depression on a daily basis now. Only recently, when I got out of the military, did I find myself not able to handle it anymore. It was like when I needed them the most (transitioning back to civilian life) they couldn't even let their problems with me go. I was raised in a very negative, racist, closed minded, and miserable family, I turned out to be the opposite and they couldn't handle it. <br />
<br />
The hardest part is letting go of the few good memories. They send me mail every now and then and tell me how much they hate me. I can't say I regret leaving them, especially since I've been homeless ever since they made me leave, but I feel like in the future when their time has come I will indeed regret not putting myself through this misery to be there for them.

I wonder if there is an organisation out there for people with no family and friends, in which to correspond. <br />
<br />
I have tried everything under the sun/every trick in the book to 'add' to my lonely life i.e. people. I befriend them, but still end up alone. I'm 38 and have only had one parent in my entire life. I was one step away from being put into an orphanage. I've no brothers/sisters and all my family are dead. I feel frightened day in/day out and wish for a miracle. I can't identify with 99% of people, as in my eyes, they have family and I don't. I pray one day my 'pain' of this life will pass and that I will be rewarded for the effort I've put into acquiring more people into my life, which has so far been fruitless.

HI Linda268,<br />
GoodFoodHunting,<br />
Debysboys27, and,<br />
JDPG1721,<br />
<br />
Our Canadian Thansgiving has come and gone and so, I am wishing you a Happy US Thanksgiving in the next few weeks.<br />
<br />
Things are tough, but like mentioned above, we keep busy by visiting different places. This year, we went to Montreal to escape the non-family situation. This Christmas, we plan on volunteering at a shelter....<br />
<br />
I hope you have a restful and peaceful holiday. There are friends online!<br />
<br />

My mom just died. She was the only family I had. I am an only child and there is no one else. Its hard with the holidays coming up. We never really did much but exchange cards and cook a big dinner. Won't be there way this year. Looking for ways to stay busy. I hope all of you will be ok.

Some of my family were taken, some walked away from me, some were never there to begin with and the rest I had to walk away from for my own good. And to a certain, smaller extent, for their own good too. I have one brother, a twin who is all but lost to me and I try to hold on to him since he's my only family left. But between his mental illness and his feelings of abandonement / jealousy, I think he's begun to pull away from me too. We are many thousands of miles apart so it's not like we can hash things out over coffee and biscuits. Half the time, he can't even pay his phone bill so emailing him or phoning him regularly is not a reliable option. But it is an option I try to exercise from time to time. I can understand what you're going through. Hell, I didn't know until a couple years after the fact that my oldest nephew was married. Albeit to a woman twice his age (mother issues there methinks but who am I to judge...). I didn't want to think that I really have almost no blood family, but I do. That's the reality of things. I don't even have any good friends left. The few times I made good friends, fate or circumstance would get between us and either a gulf of bad feelings or a gulf of hundreds, sometimes thousands of miles would develop. I don't quite want to give up but it's hard to go on sometimes. I really hope you find someone to connect to JDPG1721, I really do.

I can totally relate to not having any family. I lost both my parents ('99 - '01) and being an only child has really dampened the possibility of having any uncles/aunts for my teenage son.<br />
My boyfriend was our family for 11 years until he abandoned my son and I. Christmas and Thanksgiving holidays are the hardest times; but I and 'run away' every now and then and do something fun during those times. There are many people who don't have large / extended families...I find traveling is the best anecdote - even if traveling means in your own city! xo

So sorry about that. You are right about that.<br />
Please don't be a stranger around here. I will be your friend.<br />
Love Debby