Message From a Closet

Without entering into further details that may allow someone to ever recognize me, I was born out of wedlock to my father, who has other legitimate children. I wasn't raised by any of my parents, though I knew I was their child from around 5 or 6 years of age. I didn't have any siblings or other children around, either. I grew up overprotected, shy, and confused.

Never had a boyfriend, but had many casual and semi-casual, uninteresting sexual encounters. Always shied away from "real" life. Now I've severed all contact to family and friends, that never were for real anyway.
Inquisition Inquisition
41-45, F
6 Responses Jun 20, 2007

Put many miles between you and the "family" who causes you anguish - they never stop - maybe you've been given the role as a scapegoat or whipping post, for others to take their frustrations out on - whatever the reason, get away from them. They damage not only your spirit but can wreck havoc on your other relationships - subtle innuendos, falsely portrayed as being the person this "family" has concluded you are - will become toxic to you in your adult life. <br />
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Never feel forced to be in the company of anyone when in their company you feel rejection, sadness or misunderstood - <br />
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Take a walk to the local park and see the alcoholics and drug addicts there. Ask them about their childhood - and you will see what happens to a person rejected by the persons who have the role of ensuring their survival in childhood with unconditional love - mother/father - the broken spirited people there, killing their pain with anything they can find, are the result of not only poor parenting but parenting that is quasi-homocidal. <br />
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Sometimes, we are born into the wrong families. Focus on your strengths, and don't look back.

I just ended my relationship with all my family members too. They abused me in every way you can think of. Even though it's hard I'm better off without them.

I am in a similar postion. I have blood relatives, but no family. I don't have healthy family members that are concerned about my welfare. Most of my experiences with my family have been negative and hurtful. This is why I have no family at this point, I don't care to continue to be hurt. I only hope that I can meet friends that can be a positive force in my life.

that comment by "believer" indicates to me she doesn't understand you at all. you clearly have indicated you have family but they are family "by blood" only. they have never been family to you in any other way. i understand because i am experiencing that myself. blood relatives have moral and ethical obligations to one another. when they fail in those, just because you are related by blood it doesn't mean you have the relationships that you see on television. and all blood relatives don't want to be in relationships with others they are related too. get it "believer"?

Those who raised me are dead by now, as you may have inferred.

Sweetheart, though our situations are different, they're the same, too. I wonder why you severed contact with family. Why do say it's not real? If someone raised you, doesn't that make them family?