Hi, Im so glad to find this site. I would love if there was a support group in my area but can't find any. Im 41 and scared. Im the only child my mom died 15yrs ago from cancer. I never met my dad he left when i was 9months old. I have no kids and never been married. I been having bad realtionships for years but never want to leave them because then im totally alone. Im a beautiful girl inside and out. I have a couple of friends that I had for years but it's not the same in my mind if I had family to connect to Im so lonely all of the time and nobody understands why. I never met anyone in my life that had no family. I hope I could now.
shortynyc shortynyc
41-45, F
10 Responses Nov 12, 2012

Hi, it is so nice to read that there are others who share my situation. I am single, without children, and from a very small dysfunctional family. My parents both passed away years ago, and they filled my life with many unhealthy issues while they were alive. I have other single friends but they have families of origin who they see on holidays and at other times. I don't know anyone else in my situation, and it hurts. It really is nice to read from others who are living in this kind of solitude.

I'm 39. I biologically have 2 Siblings I don't connect with at all whom take after my mother I never connected with... It's an extreme difference not some stereotypical circumstancial movie thing. My father who has always been my only real family passed away this year. Three months later my childhood best friend who was always my sister passed away. I have no kids. Never been married. I won't get any truly thoughtful xmas gift from anyone other then the trinkets of here ya goes from passing parties. I also don't really have anyone to buy a big surprise gift for, who wouldn't think it odd if I did. Now that my two closest people in my life have left, I don't have someone to call who feels like family. Sure I have close friends. I even consider them life time friends.. but it is just not the same family feeling. So I understand completely. If I died no one would notice for weeks. Not being able to snap a finger to create that missing bond. I have my lonely moments sure, but mostly I accept it as a life of quiet. Its just quiet.

I been in group and home since the age of 5. My parents didn't even visit me one time. I had to sign myself out when od DHS when I was 18 years old. I understand where you're coming from. I had a rough life I been picked on and beat up many times because everybody felt like they was better then because I had nothing. I met my first love in high school everything was going well untill I walked in on her when she was cheating on me and from then on I had bad relationships also. I'm now 31 years old and I spend alot of my time by myself. I don't have many firends because I feel like everybody is for themselves these days. I'm a attractive guy I have no problem picking up a female but for some reason I rather be alone.

Thank you so much for your story. I felt like I was the only one. Since my grandparents died I wake up with anxiety attacks and cry everyday. You are so right no one really understands the concept of having no family if they haven't been through it.

Families are eternal. They are the building blocks of heaven. If you want to understand the concept of an eternal family contact a missionary (18-21 yrs old) of the LDS (Mormon Church). Have them teach you about the restored gospel of Christ and how you can build an eternal family of your own.

Hello shortnyc, I have no family either and like you I wish that there was a support group for people in our situation. You are right-noone really understands who hasn't been in this position. I get friends telling me to 'enjoy my independence' and who don't understand why I am so terribly lonely all the time. Bad relationships only increase feelings of loneliness, but I can udnerstand why you stay in them, because being totally alone is so frightening.
bethg-I like your response and find it helpful. You are right when you say that friends cannot be your family. I also think that looking for someone to settle down with is right for me.

OMG, this site is amazing and encouraging. I was born the only child and I lost my dad when I was 8. I lost my mother 5 years ago and never got to meet my dad's family. Due to jealousy and greed my mother's family has broken ties with me. I'm so beautiful on the outside a loner on the inside. I've been married once. He abused me mentally because he said I had nowhere to go. He came back from work one day and I was gone. I met a guy that kind of had the same story as mine and he has a daughter. I was so thankful because I told him his daughter would become mine and we would be one big family(something I've yearned for), he cheated on me and that was it. I cry everytime I go to my doctor. She keeps telling me my time clock is ticking but I know God's time is the best. Lord knows how many times I've cried myself to bed. Today is Thanksgiving and I spent it all by myself with a TV. The Lord is my sheperd I shall not want. It's not easy. I don't have friends to go out with. When co-workers accept to go out, they expect you to pay. I pray to God that anybody that is going through what I'm going through will find there life time partner.

Hey I can adopt you as cousin (I am not a case :)) I don't have much family around me since I moved to another country but I did grew up around family so I know must be sad feel alone. Now I feel same way, even if I have 2 daughters, they are too little. Anytime you need to talk just let me know ;)

Hi. Thanks for sharing your story. We all have stories to tell,it is important. Writing is really helping. Sometimes,I feel that all that happend to me,is my own fault. I married to early. he is nice guy,he is o'k,but not exactly what I wanted. I can't complain. I am smart person,I know that.
Sorry,my son is calling me.

Being alone in this world is a difficult thing to wrap your head around if you have never felt it. I am alone too, even though it seems I am surrounded by well-meaning people. But fellow church members and co-workers just aren't the same as having a real family of your own who accepts and cherishes you. Someone told me that since I did not get the family I deserved, that I should go out a make one myself out of the friends that surrounded me - he was well-meaning, but off base in my case. However, I do feel this is good advice for you - although not with just your friends. Regarding your relationships, it is easy to sit here and say you need to get back up on that horse, but that is exactly what you need to do. Every one has bad relationships - I married mine and 30 years later still stuck in it. But you have the opportunity to create a family where none existed. You can be scared, just don't be paralyzed by it. Go find your soul mate and dump anyone who does not measure up immediately! Waste no time with idiots who treat you badly. You deserve the life you always dreamed.