Feeling Alone And Tired

I'm a 31 old only child . I never met my father and my mother also an only child was killed when I was eight. I was lucky to live with my grandparents and be raised as an only grandchild. My grandfather died of kidney failure in 2010 and my grandmother died in 2011. I lived with my grandparent until the the day they died. When my grandmother died I was forced to move out on my own and start a new life. It's been a year now and I'm very proud of myself and very grateful for all the God has given me. I'm just so alone. This was the first Christmas that spent alone. No family to call or spend time with. I feel like I'm the only one in the world at this age that has to deal with this. I'm on her just to connect with someone. I know no one that can relate to my situation. I'm just tired of feeling so sad.
mika2fly21 mika2fly21
31-35, F
13 Responses Jan 8, 2013

You are not alone. There are many like that share your pain. And trust me there is no deeper pain then what you are feeling. Thank you for sharing your story. Keep sharing.

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Be strong :)

Was adopted by parents who at the time were in their mid 40s and by the time I was 27 both of them had passed away. It's a cautionary tale about having children when you are older than late 30s, for sure! Also had an adopted brother a few years older who died in his late thirties also without any children. I got married at age 28 and my spouse committed suicide so I was widowed at age 33. We had no children as neither of us wanted any. I married again and after several years together we divorced and again I was alone. After two marriages, no children by choice and several other relationships of various lengths I can't find it in myself to get married or be partnered again. It's not my fault that I have no-one to call family but it embarrasses me when I think about trying to have another relationship. What? No brothers or sisters? No nieces or nephews? I am afraid other people don't want to be with someone who has no family of their own. Being adopted can result in very unusual situations. It turns out I am the oldest of nine children, my birthmother had six kids by another man she married after being forced to give me up right after I was born. My birthfather had two kids with the woman he married. I do not know any of them because of circumstances completely out of my control. This experience of loneliness is really difficult. Seeing others together only emphasizes how alone I feel. I deal with my situation the best I can and want to find a way out of it. If you have any suggestions that don't involve becoming a Mormon have at it! I am basically a very friendly type of person, have a great heart and and my positive nature helps me keep my head above water but being alone and getting older is kinda scary

I can relate to the feelings of loneliness. My mother is elderly and in a home. My father died when I was 14. My brothers and sisters are all plagued with problems (drugs, dysfunction, psychosis) so I distance myself to keep sane.

My social circle is very small. One of my two good friends is moving away. My boyfriend lives overseas. He wants to move here but I'm ashamed and fearful about not having a support system for either one of us.

The best I can suggest is finding the motivation to build what we want in our lives. Getting involved in groups, to meet people, and befriending them, is one start. Connecting with others is necessary for a healthy outlook. You may be surprised to learn of all the other people out there who feel similarly adrift.

To connect thought, first you have to find people. Think about what issues/interests/pursuits are most meaningful to you--then become involved with them. Be open and willing to engage and invite people to do things. Immerse yourself. It could lead to rich and meaningful friendships that sometimes eclipse the bond between blood relations.

I'm 31 and feeling alone and tired too. If you need someone to talk to feel free to hit me up.

I, too, am an only child who's parents are dead. I'm also single, living in a new state, and can't have children. I tried to adopt a baby...raised him for 7 mos straight from birth but the courts gave him back to his mother. I was devestated. Then I tried in vitro but miscarried. Everyone I ever loved was either taken from me or just didn't love me back. I am a good person who loves God and gives freely to anyone in need. So, why is there no love in my life? I am so lonely. I cry everyday when I'm alone. In group settings, I always mask my pain as a jokester and life of the party. No one would ever know. My best to you.

While not an expert, I would try to find a group that you like to do things with. This would be something like a church group, book club, etc. There are sites online that can help you find a group. Personally my experience has been that exercise helps the mental state. So if you could combine excercise with the group, that would be hitting two birds with one stone as they say. Also, if you are looking for a relationship, I have seen good things happen with eharmony.com. There are online coupons (codes) to bring the price down from time to time. Most importantly you need to know that there are many people that have the same situation as you do. You are not alone. With that said, if you are looking to meet people with a similar experience to yours, it should not be too hard if you can put yourself out there. If you are too shy for all this, maybe you should seek some help to get you started. I am going to keep you in my prayers. Thanks for sharing your experience.

I actually can relate completely. I have no family as well and haven't had any contact with anyone in my family since 17, I am now about to be 34. Thanks for sharing your story cause like you I too feel alone. I think the more people that share the more we may see others out there dealing with the same thing.

I'm 30 with a 3 year old and no other family... my partner left me a few months ago and I feel so depressed now that I've been left to raise her all by myself... I was so happy when she came along to finally have a family of my own and be part of my x's... I don't feel I can meet new friends as I am the only person around to look after my daughter I can't go anywhere... I feel I'm letting her down

Me2:(

Hi Mika, you can talk to me as well. I am older than you, 55, but have no family either, so can understand how alone you are feeling. It is sad to have no family to call at Christmas or to spend Christmas with. You are right to be feeling proud of yourself. It is no easy at all to be so alone in the world, and you are doing well.

You can talk to me. I have no family around either. my mother hasn't spoken to me in 20 years. I shunned my Dad and his family indefinitely. I disowned my Grandma over Christmas recently and I have no social life. I've been looking for new friends, people who don't smoke or drink. It's hard being around those kind of people. Drop me a line sometime if you want to talk.