My Story Without Sounding Depressing

Hi, My name is Jacie from Manitoba Canada and i have no friends because the ones i had couldnt take i wasn't able to walk very well anymore... and needed a wheelchair to get around to places. The biggest excuse was i have no room in my car for your wheelchair even though it is small not the ones you see in hospitals..Not real friends huh..My siblings and i had a weird relationship and were never very close and the 6 of them wrote me off fast thinking i would be complaining about the pain all the time. I never complain only to myself, why mess up other people you know  their lives, just keep a smile on your face and be yourself before the spine disease came on:)
I think it doesn't help the man i married and moved in too quickly with never told me he was bipolar, you could never tell he seemed like anyone else? But after we moved in together too quickly his moods went up and down and he picked fights for no reason at all..and i would have left him but i loved him and wanted to help him through this unknown  disease i knew nothing about. .I got pregnant too soon and got very ill and was in the hospital for most of my pregnacy..Thank god he always worked so we just got by...He hated sex?? He only got me pregnant when he was drunk. I felt so violated..We haven't had intimate relations in 16 years this june...why do i stick around..i have no where to go.
Not one friend i can call my own... i have 4 herniated discs in my back with constant pain i can't feel my feet or part of my legs, but i feel no pity for myself all i have been searching for is love in my life nothing more.Some true friends would be a bonus, when i leave this world one day i don't want to leave this world friendless, that is why i am so lonely and wish i had friends to talk to, my hubby used to be a friend but he just leaves me at home and goes out with his friends every chance he has and i just watch tv and go on the pc for company, Jacie
JJmissycat JJmissycat
36-40
2 Responses May 9, 2012

Use the skills that you have got, do not focus on what you have not. Of course, you are aware of your limitation. Yet, you are a part of God’s wonderful creation!

Hey Jacie<br />
There are some great people out there<br />
And your being in a wheelchair shoud not be a hinderence to your finding them.<br />
Do some voluntary work with kids.Nothing like beautiful children for making life sweet.<br />
My grand-daughter does not notice any physical or emotional disabilities-as most children do not.She spent hours playing withtwo little girls who could not hear well and she did not even know it.<br />
Have you told your husband how you feel when he leaves you alone?<br />
there is nothing stopping you going out to public libraries or the cinema as they do have ramps.And if someone smiles and wants to chat let them in.<br />
God Blessand Good Luck!