Friends Are Hard To Find

well i just joined today, after googling "having no friends wrong?" and the reason i googled it was because my old best frined that now lives in texas called me to catchup, this happens every 6 months or so. She was the best freind i ever had, but sadly she had to move away in around 10th grade, we promised wed save up for her return trip to CA, but she met someone and got married,and shes staying in TX. Im happy for her...but sadly the distance and time has seperated us, thats 10 years now..
ive always been the type of person to close to one friend, and truly get to know them, and genuienly care about them. I am 26 now, and in tha time i have had 4 real friends, from 3rd grade till after high school. I feel the older i got the worst my social skills became, and also i became more self consciuos and ultimately have low self esteem.
My last best freind was a guy(i am a girl) he was gay and we got along great, we hung out all the time, like almost everyday....we experimented with funny things, went to our first clubs together and were together when we each got to by alcohol legally. it was pretty nice. Although, looking back i was alwasy very forgiving with him, many times i caught him talking bad about me to others, sometimes for no real reason. i let it go, they were mistakes id say. when i got together with an acquaintance of ours,the 3 of us hung out together. at first they didnt like each other then it was fine. for three years we hung out, but then when we broke up, things got weird. my best friend still wanted to hang out with my ex, and i wasnt comfortable with it. i told him. but if he wanted to hang out with them, that really was his choice, i told him i preferred it if he didnt but was not asking him to do it. IT all could have been fine, but he started lying to me to go hang out with her. He never had time to hang out with me, cuz he was with her. when i would call him, they'd already be hanging out. it was very akward and sad, that he let so many years go like that. And honestly the main reason he preferred her presence because of the marijuana connections she had. once in a while when she wasnt available is when id receive calls from him to hang out. but i eventually one day i called him and let him know, that i couldnt be his freind anymore, that it was too painful to be pushed aside, and kept as a backup plan . i told him maybe in the future we could be freinds again but not now. he said ok. he didnt even call me to try to say anything. he was fine with that. about a year later he reandmly txt me to say sorry, that he messed up.....a bit too late in my opinion. i had already cried my eyes out and got over the hurt. our friendship had ended.
Today i have a wonderful boyfriend that honestly gets me. he is alot like me in the freind department. we are very wary of who we let in. we dont like fake freinds. I am perfectly content with him, and as optimistic as id like to be, i am also realistic, and in the case this does not work out, i end up back at the same place with no firends.
I really would love to have friends or a freind. someone i could go hang out with, talk to, be there for, someone to learn from and share ideas with.someone outside my family and relationship. I know i am a good person, i made my mistakes in the past, but am so diffirent now. I love to help others, i love to read, play co-op games online, love animalsespecially my lil rat terrier. i love being outdoors, excirsing, cooking healthy. I can be alittle shy, and nervous when talking to new people, but i still try. i love music and dancing, but somehow i end up alone at home or infront of this computer. why is making friends so hard?
leeloo7 leeloo7
26-30, F
2 Responses Jul 20, 2010

Hi,<br />
<br />
I read your story and I can relate to part of what you described. I had a best friend since childhood, who would do the same thing to me, go and hang out with other friends and not invite me and it really hurt a lot. Actually it's amazing how insensitive some people cane be! I think I make a pretty good friend-_ I'm good at listening and being supportive, but also on the shy side, so I don't have friends that I get together with. Anyway if you ever want to chat or anything message me.

Hiya, Your dog is just the cutest. :) . . . Friends are hard to come by. I don't know why but it seems like everyone wants friends but not too many people really have any . . . its weird . . . I myself have just moved away with my hubby and found myself friendless. I lost pretty much all contact from my friends from moving. Anywayz maybe we can chat . .maybe be friends :) . .