I Have No Real Friends.

Really, I don't like being a downer about my situation, but I guess sharing my story to some strangers might make me feel a little better.

But I know this is pretty weird for someone my age. I'm 22, about to graduate college and have been given a great job. I've recently given the finger to my so-called (so I thought) best friend of 10 years, who ended up being a complete douchebag being passive aggressive and generally just making me feel like crap to make herself feel better. I felt like I really needed to clean up my life in a big way as she was really dragging me down. Through kicking her out of my life, I lost several other friends her took her side who were very close to me who I thought would be my bridesmaids at my wedding and we would grow old together. I've had threats and rude text messages from them all and while I'm strong, it still kinda hurts to lose something that was a good part of your life for even a little bit.

I have a bunch of other people in my life who say they really care about me and always want to hang out, but really like coming over because they like dumping their insecurities on me and I never get anything back. They're all very self centered and egotistical. I have a friend who has a new fad diet every week, and frankly I do not care. Another spends her time talking about who she's slept with that week and how she's surprised men find her attractive. It is a draining excuse for not being lonely. 

I live with my boyfriend, who has been one of my best friends for many years. We are both busy people, but in the weekends, I stop what I'm doing and just try to hang out with him, but he hates that I'm always bugging him about hanging out. We do spend a bit of time together, going out for dinner etc, but even if he's there, he's not really "there". He's a programmer and recently got a promotion -- he's obsessed with his work. He actually hasn't stopped talking about his work for weeks now that I think about it. Even when he's around, I still feel lonely. I don't think he understands really. I don't like being the naggy girlfriend, so I want to really care about what he does, but it's hard when you don't get that same consideration back.

Anyways, I'm finding it hard to just see the good side, but I don't know what to do. I know things will get better, but for now, I'm pretty lost.
TinyNinja TinyNinja
22-25, F
4 Responses Aug 7, 2010

It is a great thing that u got rid of those so called friends. U don't need that kind of childish impudence in your life, real friends don't act like that. I was in the same boat, I had self centered and egotistical friends and nobody is there for me when I'm there for them. And about your bf, maybe he's just exited about his promotion, hopefully it dies down after awhile and u guys start hanging out more. Making new friends takes alot of time, we just have to try put ourselves out there more. Since we are all still young, I know I'm not giving up haha. I wish u the best and good luck !

Wow, thanks Wordsforliving & MoonPrincess. You are both real sweethearts. You're both totally right. Thanks so much. Your comments really made my day. =D

I know it hurts but its great that you got rid of your friend because it also showed the true colors of you other friends. They send you rude texts and threats? How immature! Screw them!<br />
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I find it weird that your boyfriend "hates you bugging him about hanging out." That just doesn't sound right. I don't know your relationship, but I think there is a problem if he feels you are bugging him when you just want to spend time together. Maybe its the new job and things will get back to normal. Or maybe you should find someone who has time for you and enjoys your company. You deserve that. Don't let a guy take you for granted.

Good for you for getting rid of toxic people in your life. I've gone through some similar situations & t's always a hard thing to go through.<br />
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There's got to be a way to detect toxic people before investing too lots of time into the friendships. I'm determined to figure this out.