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I Haven't Had Any Real Friends Since I Was 10 Years Old

The saddest thing about my story is that I have no clue what it feels like to have a real friend in my life. I had associates when I was in elementary school. When I was 8-10 years old, I lived in Iowa with my parents where I had a best friend, and several other friends my age who always came over our house to hang out and have fun.

My best friend lived right down the street and practically lived at my house, even on school nights. I know both of us were very young then, but we were real close and thought that we would always be close as sisters. But then when I turned 10 years old, my parents sent me down to Arkansas to visit my grandma and other relatives, and while I was visiting for the summer, my parents decided to sell almost everything we had and come down to Arkansas where I was.

From that point on, I never seen any of my friends again, and we grew further apart and I believe my best friend's phone number was changed sometimes after that. I found it very hard for me to make friends in Arkansas like I did in Iowa. Nobody tried to be my friend, or just didn't care at all. As soon as I hit high school, I noticed I was very shy and anti-social from everyone at school. I believe that's the reason why I was talked about almost everyday, and picked on in nearly all my classes by mostly girls, and some boys who hung out with the girls.

When I was in the 7th and 8th grade, I met a family who lived down the street from us. For about 2 years I was friends with 3 sisters in that family and seemed to be getting along pretty good with them and catching the bus together almost every school day. Then one day they all stopped talking to me completely and I never knew why. From that point on, I was still getting bullied with no friends to my name. I was severely depressed and couldn't focused and concentrate on my school work or anything else. After I made tons more "D's" and "F's" in school, I dropped out.

I am now almost  30 years old and still sitting up here with ZERO friends. I am a very shy  person, but not around people I know. I just thank God that there is a God in Heaven who loves all. So even if I never have any friends, I know I have God, and His Son Jesus Christ, so that I'm not Truly alone. 

 
reeda reeda 26-30, F 99 Responses Oct 20, 2010

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well. you know you cant be friend with god. i don't have friend too but i'm better than you, because i'm not doing self-loving **** to make excuses about that.

I know exactly what you are going though. I moved when I was 10 as well. My family moved from CT or OR. What a huge change! Also, I think that for girls, it is especially hard to enter your teenage years without preexisting solid, healthy friendships. Girls become so cliquey during their teens and if you aren't already in, you are out.

I also dropped out of high school though I completed it on-line because of bullying and an overall lack of social connection. It is really sad to have to move at such formative age. I do not thin that is has anything to to with us personally, but more to to do with outer circumstances beyond our control.

I am almost 30 as well, 27...and I hear ya. It's sad. But it probably doesn't have to do with you, just circumstances.

That is my two cents.

<p>Same here ... but I didn't drop out of school I recently graduated the SAME DAMN THING happened to me .___. what made it worse is that everyone had something they could make fun of, my scar on my lip -___-. I really just want some friends one... maybe even a couple of people that I KNOW that I can trust and they trust me just as much back : (... I've come across people who would be the "lowest of the low" group in school who would want me to become they're friends, but thing is that they were disscusting! u_u do you blame me for NOT joining? : ( ...................... they would throw they're selves at me and go like LETS BE FRIENDS!!!! >:D ... and I would be like you know I think I like being alone :C... I need to take it SLOW ... a word that does not comprehend the people of Mangum at all u___u... they push me on purpose to the point of doing one of my "infamous stunts" and either try to threaten them, stab (just slightly), or even try to choke them >: l... they would find this HALARIOUS!!!! >): C</p>

the last sentences you wrote are just exactly how I see it. I don't have any friends either... but I know that even if I'm feeling lonley I'm never alone

I feel your pain I'm 21 and the last three years of my life were dedicated to my ex, I gave up all my friends for her and stoped talking to all girls, now she has left me and its been about 6 months since she left me, and I havnt had one frnd call or txt me, I can leave my phone in my room for days and not have a missed call or txt unlees it was from a telemarkter , I used to be so confident infront of girls, now I'm shy as **** and get nervous when I find myself talking to a girl, so I just mess it up, I have thought a bout suicide but do believe in jesus, and I just don't want my mom and little brothers to be the ones that find me dead, I'm broke now to. God I feel like such a loser.

Yeah- It's the worst when someone stops talking to you and you wonder what you did wrong. Got to keep reminding yourself that they are the ones with the problem. Still hurts though.

You are probably attractive. That's usually why people are bullied in school. It is usually attractive and smart and competent people who are bullied by people who are insecure secretly.
The trouble is, when stupid school loneliness impacts you for life, so that you're the same age as me, and you still find yourself without lots of friends! (Read my story about it! I had a similar experience.)
Don't give up on your friend search. You're into church? What about joining a church, or volunteering at a church group to meet people?

I have also seen people seeking friendships on Craigslist, but you would probably feel less creeped out using FriendMatch!
Don't give up! Friends really do make life better! There are lots of lonely people out there also looking for friends!

That’s terrible. I also have no friends. And I live in Brazil!!! People here are supposed to be friendly, but this is all a lie. People here are shallow and stupid, and they lie a lot, what I hate, because I hate lying. Anyway, I hope you find someone, everyone needs a friend.

Just like here in America, tis' no different .___.
NO DIFFERENT NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO D'X

Hey, I think the hardest part of life is overcoming your problems, obstacles, and fears. Some people live through life without ever overcoming these problems and some people take only couple days to overcome these problems. It varies from person to person and every situation is different. I've been through that process of being bullied and feeling all alone in the world. And from my personal experience, time will slowly heal some of these wounds, but if you never truly face your fear, obstacles, and problems your problems will never be solved. And never give up, even if you fail, keep trying. Don't feel that you are alone in this world, there are plenty of other people in this world just like you. (Ex: Find a hobby you enjoy doing, and find people that are also interested in your hobby and you guys will become good friends.)

i moved away from my family and friends to be with the i love. i love him dearly but have made no friends here and my friends from where i lived have fizzled away. was my choice but still find it hard. get so lonely. i know how you feel your self esteem goes and youve noone to talk to. my partner works away in his lorry and doesnt quite understand as he still has old friends and new. my family dont call me i call them they havent come to see me i have gone to see them which isnt that often as i live farway. its so hard if youve had a bad day at work or you just want a female to talk to there is noone there. hugsxx

U gonna meet ur love very soon . Remember dark days dont last 4ever . Hes gonna be ur true frnd . Hes comming 2 u . Be prepared honey ! Happy days are comming 2 u .

I totally disagree withs saying god or prayer doesn't help, I am not a big church goer but my own experience tells me that whatever science says God does exist and yes he or she does listen. I have experienced the physical and emotional healing through prayer. The church is free and you can pray what ever your denomination Catholic, Anglican, Baptist, Jehovas Witness I say yes he/she does listen. I went to a healing service of a good friend who I have known for some time and I new only little of his non denominational Church but his healing service was uplifting one of the things he mentioned was praise and realised just getting being able to see, breath, taste are thing ti be grateful for. I am not patronising anyone but just learning to be glad about the small things helps those who feel down trodden or forgetten

Being shy can often be a natural tendancy picked up from one of your parents I was abused as a child I say abused what I mean is bullied but that to me is abuse all be it from other children they can often be worse than adults as the often have no sense of guilt. I suffered panic attacks and social phobia as an adult although I now have a very open personality and now talk to strangers all I can say is that working through panic and asserting your self are very important things to learn. A good friend of mine advised me to mirror very confident people and copy there social interactions you can learn a lot just by people watching. Some antidepressents are a good treatment for social phobia as its now called and yes you can get CBT behavioral therapy. Feeling unconfident is often a learnt behavior it doesn't mean you are different. A CEO said confident is after all firstly a CON

Yeah, I can relate to you story. My family moved around a lot when i was younger and i didn't stay in touch with my school mates. part of the reason i didn't keep in touch with school mates is because i didn't work at developing close relationships. part of the reason i didn't keep touch is becuase i messed things up. part of the reason i didn' keep touch is because i was running away. part of the reason i didn'tkeep touch is because they didn't want to keep touch with me. i never stayed at one high school for more than one year. now, i find myself unable to sleep. i find myself unable to think. i cannot socialize. i feel that my mind is messed up. i've been alone for these past few years and when i think about it, i was alone even when i was part of a crowd. life is just messed up. for a while i thougt that if i work on myself as a human being then i would be able to get back into the mainstream of things but i've realized that i might have bipolar or ADD that i can't socialize. my attitude and ways of thinking have become so different comparedto other people that i want to just get it over with. i want to let happen whatever is going to happen because i am fed up. i can'tthink straight. if i had friends then, i would not be this way. msg me if you ever want to talk. i will listen.

I totally understand how you feel, with no friends. But there is no God to help us out. Have you ever wondered why you can't just be normal like every one else.

Hi ?<br />
I wish I knew your name so that I could call you by name & say that your are my friend.<br />
I too have written in this forum previously when I was so close to taking my life because I was so alone. But like you I believe there is God & I know that Jesus is there for me. Though you know I still pray most nights that God might send an Angel to sit at the ba<x>se of my bed at night to reassure me.<br />
Well I guess that won't happen but I still believe & it's that that give me the strength I need.<br />
<br />
I am 57 now & living in a house where my wife & only daughter have zero to do with me, they don't talk to me & avoide me to the extent they even avoid being seen by me. I have no friends but occasionally I read these forums & get a little strength form reading the support of others.<br />
I had an accident 5yrs ago that left me a partial paraplegic, since then the world deserted me.<br />
<br />
I will leave my email address I'm not sure if that's allowed but if you just want someone to communicate with I'm happy to be your friend. I live in Australia & I have a brother & nephew in Tenessee. Why don't you write me & tell me about yourself.<br />
<br />
Howard.<br />
hschristian@gmail.com

Howard - good luck in your life. You've a good heart. You wife and daughter can't possibly understand how much they are hurting you.

Wow I totally know how you feel. I still don't have many friends and I am 18 years old. I have never had anyone who I can tell absolutely anything too. A lot of people say they have a best friend. Well growing up I never had that. All I had was myself and my parents and sister. No one wanted to be my friend and kids always made fun of me whenever I would make a mistake or talk or something because it was so out of the ordinary to them (i guess) I still don't have a best (girl) friend that i can talk to about anything but I feel that a lot of the time the only person you can trust is yourself. You will make friends and everything will be ok :) Just remember that God and Jesus love you and a lot of other people do too :)

What a sad, touching story. I have been very blessed having only moved once, but it was to a different neighborhood (and I was 5 at the time) so it did not have a very big impact on my life. I've never been the popular one, especially in middle school gym class. I was always picked last and yelled at for sucking so much at sports. This always made me feel alone and hated, but now I realize that nobody hated me. Jumping back to second grade when I met my best friend. His name is Ethan. He was the chunky weird kid nobody wanted to hang around with. One day at recess he had brought a toy car and wanted someone to play with. He asked every last person on the playground, and finally it came down to me. I could not deny, so we played together, and have been best friends ever since. This year we are high school freshmen, and we go to different schools. Our friendship is still going strong despite this, and we are going for pizza and a movie this weekend. My religion teacher (I go to a private Lutheran school) told us during the unit about friendship that if you don't have any friends and you let it get you down, it's your fault. Perhaps if you'd approached someone you could have become friends. You see, if I had never said yes to Ethan, I would not have him as my best friend today. So all you need to do is go out and say hi to someone, or yes to someone whoa asks for help. You never know where it might take you.<br />
And yes, if all else fails, keeping God close is a very important thing. =)

What a sad, touching story. I have been very blessed having only moved once, but it was to a different neighborhood (and I was 5 at the time) so it did not have a very big impact on my life. I've never been the popular one, especially in middle school gym class. I was always picked last and yelled at for sucking so much at sports. This always made me feel alone and hated, but now I realize that nobody hated me. Jumping back to second grade when I met my best friend. His name is Ethan. He was the chunky weird kid nobody wanted to hang around with. One day at recess he had brought a toy car and wanted someone to play with. He asked every last person on the playground, and finally it came down to me. I could not deny, so we played together, and have been best friends ever since. This year we are high school freshmen, and we go to different schools. Our friendship is still going strong despite this, and we are going for pizza and a movie this weekend. My religion teacher (I go to a private Lutheran school) told us during the unit about friendship that if you don't have any friends and you let it get you down, it's your fault. Perhaps if you'd approached someone you could have become friends. You see, if I had never said yes to Ethan, I would not have him as my best friend today. So all you need to do is go out and say hi to someone, or yes to someone whoa asks for help. You never know where it might take you.<br />
And yes, if all else fails, keeping God close is a very important thing. =)

Me too, two of my true friends left town within 5 years of each other, & low self esteem stopped me making any more. plus living in the loneliest town in the world (london) isnt gr8.<br />
<br />
I go 2 church & a community centre to increase confidence & try 2 trust that god will show me what 2 do.

You can be my friend today.. life is too short to feel so alone. I cant say i had a lot of friends growing up either. Like you i was a very shy girl and constantly bullied at school. But i got a friend who shared my suffering and we are still friend up to this time, thou with different dreams and beliefs, we still turn to each other for support and advice. and yes, ofcourse you do have a friend in Jesus Christ, He lives quite closer to you than any friend can ever be- he's right there in your heart.<br />
<br />
Take care and God bless!!!

I don't know what to do; I'm 55 and have no friends. I had a terrible childhood and don't get along with people at my job. I lack the ability to small talk, I just don't know how to do it. My boyfriend for today just told me once again that he wants to break up with me because of my lack of social skills saying that it puts a wedge in when I'm around his friends. I don't know where to go to learn these skills. My boyfriend is in the mental health field,, so he feels he shouldn't have to do it when he's not at work. We've been together for a year and a month+ so it hurts me deeply when he says things like this to me especially when I've been making changes because I see a therapist for my depression. She's helped me to come up with things to say when I'm forced to talk to people. Instead of saying I work at Walfart she said I could say I work in retail in the garden business. The thing is l fear that I'll never be right. I have nothing to draw from and yes I feel boring. I found this saying today and it's me' Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow'. I work very hard at work, but I'm very serious. I watch as other coworkers stop and chat with each other and they have friends in the lunch room while I sit by myself. I was a class clown to compensate for my lacking in social skills. I am shy and send out a vibe that says "NO" don't look at me because I'll have to talk to you. I put my head down when people start heading towards me and I'm guessing people see me as either stuck up or anti-social. So, I don't know what to tell you, but I'd take the advice of most of the people here and just get out of your house, go for a walk, etc. My boyfriend says that everybody gossips, especially women, so I have to take that into my arsenal for use if I ever get a friend. The reason I am telling you these things is because I don't want for you to be like me at age 55. Go out by yourself to dance, watch a movie at a theatre, tell someone that thier dog is really beautiful, sit on your front porch or steps and people will walk by maybe they'll say "do you live here, I just moved in, what's the neighborhood like, or they'll say hmm, I've never seen you out before". I can't use these because after I've given the big smile saying hello, I don't know what to say afterwards. It's like I'm an idiot, but I've been to college. I also worked in the mental health field and I was very, very good at talking to my clients because I was helping them, but go figure I can't talk outside of that box. Honey, go out to the mall to sit or go in places, but get yourself out there, you have friends to make. Yep, you can also contact me, because as I said I'm a very good counselor to others, I just don't know how to small talk with others.

that's is so sad...Ive experienced that too at some point of my life before...but I learned to not fully focus on that situation...coz it will just worsen my sad feelings...I came to realized that all these years and ever since we were born we have a best friend who never leaves us...he's always there whenever were happy...he's always there when were feeling down...and he always listens to us...and he loves us unconditionally!

Don't feel so sad about it dear....I believe you are quite lucky to have your life like this. This is how god wanted it to be.This is the best way in which you could learn something out of your life.Loneliness is sometimes a blessing,take it positively. Befriend yourself! This is a very good opportunity to find out who you truly are,to get closer to your soul.Once you realize who you are and what your potential is,stay being yourself....and someday you'll attract you true friends towards you

Dear Reeda. I truly understand all of your woes and fears and lonliness and I want to say to you that if you truly want a friend, you have to become that friend. You are (and always have been) your only true best friend. Take the time to relax and breathe deeply and allow yourelf to tap into your inner being and find out who you really are inside. Get in touch with the love and compassion that is flowing deep inside your heart. And then wrap your compassionate arms around the hurting Reeda and honor her for her lonliness and feelings of being no good and unworthy of other's love, because there was a time when those feelings served you but they no longer do. But you created them so you have to let yourself feel the sad and lonely Reeda and while you are feeling all of that old stuck energy, let your true compassionate nature embrace it. That is the real you dear and it is only that you that can possibly ever release all that sadness and allow yourself to feel joy and alive again. But you have to really want to feel joy. You have to be willing to truly let go of the old lonely Reeda because she's been quite a friend. What would you do without your lonliness and sadness? What would that feel like? What would you have to be if you suddenly became the real authentic awesome Reeda? That is the question to ask yourself and it you are ready, allow the real lover inside you to come out and embrace all that old Reeda and then breathe with her and let her go. If you are willing to do that, that's when you will have a found a true friend, inside you. It is you! Thank you.

Although I had some good friends in junior high and also in the Air Force, at a certain point in my life I was bullied badly by self-centered employers and sort of put out to pasture by the public employee clique. I spent years feeling like a friendless outcast until I finally met a woman online who turned out to be about as nice a woman as a person could hope to meet. We met some years ago, and have been together ever since, having gotten married a couple years ago. I kept hearing this advice in my mind: "If you want a friend, be one." I won't go into details other than to say I decided to dedicate myself to her welfare, and I saved her life from terminal loneliness after her first husband's death. She has since returned the favor in various ways. We are there for each other. <br />
<br />
The old saying still applies: "Where there is life, there is hope." Be well, and please, never give up hope. There are friends out there for you, and I see some 82 responses here for you that verify that.

I understand where you are coming from. In school when I would get close to someone they would find another friend that would do, go places and I couldn't. In high school the girls started running around with boys and getting reputations and I didn't want the label they had. Since HS I had one friend that I was close to for a year or so, we talked about everything then I met a guy kept my promise that she and I would still go out and do things but when she met someone we quit hanging out. I have a lady at work I confide in but would like to have a "really close friend" my husband-well lets say I can't tell him too much because I don't feel he listens to me with his heart, he has told people things I told him confidentaily, he lies to me and once I am lied to I do not trust ever again. I'm afraid to get close to anyone becuase I don't want to get hurt. I so wish I could have a friend to talk, communicate with that would be honest with me and we could share thinks in commone. I am 43 married, have teens, and a 2 year old-she wasn't planned but God had other things in mind for me. I am a christian and like you am so glad God is there for me whenever I need him. And watches over me. Have a good day

Dear Reeda,<br />
<br />
When I read your post, I was touched by your open heart to share such an alienating experience. Being torn away from your close friends, being bullied and losing friends through bullying is a terrible thing to go through, especially when you were so young.<br />
<br />
What you experienced as a child must have been emotionally jarring and even traumatic, and I could see how it would cause you to feel that you cannot trust to be closer with another person. I hope that through this site, and maybe through similar supportive situations from like minded people, you can realize that your pain can be a healing gift to those who have experienced what you have. I hope that your honesty and openness about this experience will bring others closer to you, and it can help to redevelop a bond with people that is so needed.

Good GRIEF!!! If you look at the comments alone!!-I wonder, how can it be there are so many loners and lonely people and no-one with friends when this comment has more "I can relate"s to it than anything I've seen commented on..and that includes arguments about God! You know what would happen if all of these people were to get together in a social setting for a few weeks? Cliques would form. Someone would dislike someone elses smile or outfit and that would cause another clique to form. It would be a room full of people not trusting each other but cutting each other down to gain acceptance, and 'ta da' you've got high school all over again!!! Don't forget the wall flowers that couldn't find a clique, and the cool dudes who were too good for cliques!! We'd have dog lovers vrs. cat lovers and punks vrs. greasers, and jocks vrs. nerds, all of us are capable of being one-of-"them", don't kid yourself. As everyone has said, you need a clique or hobby to form a clique of your own. I was a loner until I found my place in the Art world. I had a terrible time accepting being accepted and respected but I loved it and it changed my life!! It only took 35 years!! Now that I'm disabled, I'm "One Of Them", meaning, "Medicaid people, groan..." but I thank God that I had more years as a respected artist to arm me for these years as One Of Them, and still hold my head high!!!-until I can thumb my nose at butchering surgeons who dislike my kind because I'm One Of Them. And on and on and on..............Lawdy help us!

Good GRIEF!!! If you look at the comments alone!!-I wonder, how can it be there are so many loners and lonely people and no-one with friends when this comment has more "I can relate"s to it than anything I've seen commented on..and that includes arguments about God! You know what would happen if all of these people were to get together in a social setting for a few weeks? Cliques would form. Someone would dislike someone elses smile or outfit and that would cause another clique to form. It would be a room full of people not trusting each other but cutting each other down to gain acceptance, and 'ta da' you've got high school all over again!!! Don't forget the wall flowers that couldn't find a clique, and the cool dudes who were too good for cliques!! We'd have dog lovers vrs. cat lovers and punks vrs. greasers, and jocks vrs. nerds, all of us are capable of being one-of-"them", don't kid yourself. As everyone has said, you need a clique or hobby to form a clique of your own. I was a loner until I found my place in the Art world. I had a terrible time accepting being accepted and respected but I loved it and it changed my life!! It only took 35 years!! Now that I'm disabled, I'm "One Of Them", meaning, "Medicaid people, groan..." but I thank God that I had more years as a respected artist to arm me for these years as One Of Them, and still hold my head high!!!-until I can thumb my nose at butchering surgeons who dislike my kind because I'm One Of Them. And on and on and on..............Lawdy help us!

I feel the same way too, real friends are hard to come by than writing here. especially since I was unemployed, it became a real problem vs. when I was working and did seem to affect me that much since I have plenty of 'fake' work friends at work, just want to be quiet and spend some down time at home, so my new goal next is too start making some meaningful friends that I'd like to keep, part of the grow up process for everyone I think. <br />
Another thing I realize too is that I also need to set a realistic expectations on choosing friends, can't expect everything at the beginning. Choose the important qualities and let the not so important things slide, when I grew older, I have better idea about what are important qualities in a friendship and what not. that's why I did not get to make a lot real friend before. I imagine it is most people's problems too even when they might not realized it.

Hi Reeda, <br />
I am 51 years old and I have removed myself from the social lifestyle for reasons like having friends may sometimes be more trouble than you think. Then of course, sometimes those who you may think are your friends, are not. I don't consider myself a loner because I am active in the lives of people who need people. This is usualy through my work but I am looking into volunteer services to participate in. As far as friends are concern, I have those who I adore, but I am far away from them. Most of my contact with family, friends, and people I know is on FB. In my life I have found that people have their own reason for befriending you so you have to be very careful. You don't want to jump into a friendship ever! But allow one to develop. I'm sure by now you are thinking of marriage and kids, if this is the case, wait for the one that is sent from God. Since you are a believer, trust Him. You are where you are for a reason. God is Love and You are not alone.

i am the same way. i never had and still dont have any TRU friends... and in a way i like it... but in another way i hate it... idk what to think... i'm so lost and confused.

beautiful post reeda.. I hope this all changes for you

I don't have friends anymore either after a major nervous breakdown after a divorce and having my business partner take all my money fraudulently. Not considered an affluent person anymore, my siblings cut me off and my self esteem is so low I don't take care of myself. I know the answer is to join groups. The meetup links on the Internet and volunteering or start your own volunteer group or meetup group. Then you have to stick with it. After it is a habityou will have connections and a shared sense of purpose. Then some will be friends. Now I have to do the same thing.

HELLO,IN A NUTSHELL I FIND THAT YOU CAN MEET SOME GOOD PEOPLE THROUGH SPIRITUAL GROUPS,BE THEY CHRISTIAN,OR OTHER, FOR EXAMPLE MEDITATION,OR STUDY THE TAO GROUPS.JOIN A BIBLE STUDY OR PRAYER GROUP.EVEN IF YOU ARE AN ATHEIST OR NON BELIEVER,THE BIBLE IS A VERY WISE BOOK,ONLY GOOD ADVISE COMES FROM IT.BUT THERE ARE MANY SPIRITUAL ROADS,AND I JUST GAVE YOU BUT A FEW EXAMPLES.MOST OF THE PEOPLE IN SPIRITUAL GROUPS HAVE GOOD VALUES.GIVE THEM A TRY.NINA

Hi reeda sorry to hear that! and i think you shud join groups an become a social person your still young and its good to have someone you can trust an be close with dnt give up! <br />
<br />
God Bless you!! girlie!!

From all these excellent responses you should carefully consider and utilize what these contacts, who care, have to say and get going in a new stage of life. Honey life is too short not to live it to the fullest while you can. DONT let things stand in your way. You can conquer what you want to conquer if you really want too, START TODAY in a new way!

I like you!!<br />
Love,<br />
Doerver.

hi i can so identify with you - although I am now much older than you. But, at your age I was the same. I was painfully shy. Of course, I was married - got married when I was just 19yrs - first person who showed an interest in me. However, my husband died 2008 after we had been together for 36 years. I was completely 'lost' - no friends, no family (although I did have my son and his family) BUT I knew that I could not depend on them for the rest of what years I had left. I just HAD to fight this terrible insecurity within me. So, I dived in and did the best I could, and still do. I started doing voluntary work (especially at Christmas time) - and my eyes have been opened. There are so many lonely people in this big world - I would even bet there are more lonely than not. So, you are not alone in many respects. Over the last couple of years I have rediscovered myself and I like myself.... I am an okay person. We are all okay. We just need to open up a little to each other. I get the impression you are a strong Christian - well there is your chance. Get involved in some Christianity work, get to meet people like yourself. Just keep telling yourself you are not alone - there are millions of us all out there feeling just like yourself and the more we open up, the easier it becomes. Took me years to discover this...so many years wasted....you are still so very young - get out and share yourself, share your love - you CAN do it! love, big huggss x

Hello, i hope I can provide some practical feedback. The story you have related is your past, please focus now on your future. We often meet a life-long friends doing the things we like the the most. Use this time to explore your own passions and things that expand your mind. It is time for all of us to grow. Make your own mind up about things and fill your life with comedy and laughter. It's hard to love people who always bring us down. . . . Know what makes you happy and live that life happily. Sad truth is It is no-one's job to make us happy. <br />
<br />
School kids often pick on those who are different (it takes attention off themselves). Many of the brightest and unique people were outsiders at school. Now, in the university of life it is for you to find how you can give most to society and best fulfil your potential. It is time to question everything.<br />
<br />
The more you look into traditional human constructs (like politics, economics, ideologies and religions) with an open mind, the more you will be "you" rather than a person who simply tries to fit in. Know your own mind and know your own worth. <br />
<br />
Paradoxically, the things that make us seem different at school can lead to bullying whereas in the adult world, it is our uniqueness that makes us fascinating and charismatic. The most important connection you have with the universe is already in you. It is your heart, be true to it and it will be true to you. <br />
<br />
If you want to learn more about body language, go for it. Learn as much as you can about anything. Judge no-one and stop judging yourself. Keep the child in you alive and leave the past behind. Every day is fresh and new, just like you. Have fun with it and play Baz Luhrman's "sunscreen" once a day on YouTube until you know it off by heart.<br />
<br />
Enjoy every moment (",)

I have no friends ,but I am happy.

I know how you feel. My mother moved me around nearly every year of my youth. By the time I graduated I went to 10 different schools. Needless to say maintaining friendships wasn't much of an option.<br /><br />
Right now, I have all amle friends and to be honest, as cool as they are to me, I know that most of them are really just attracted to me. As a woman it really sucks not having a girlfriend to to talk to. I have gotten used to it but it still sucks.I've tried to make female friends but they either move away or flake on me.

I am saddened by your story, but you must learn from your mistakes. you say you are anti social but by the way your story is writen you sound like a religious person. Im sure you know god loves us all but he also made us equal. come out of your shell dont be afraid to mess up or even if you make a fool out of your self, we all make mistakes and that's a fact. don't let other peolpe judge you for who you are. talk to people and if by the end of the day if their not your friends then they don't deserve a friend like you. always be your your self and you will find a friend. I wish you the best of luck. never give up :)

I am saddened by your story, but you must learn from your mistakes. you say you are anti social but by the way your story is writen you sound like a religious person. Im sure you know god loves us all but he also made us equal. come out of your shell dont be afraid to mess up or even if you make a fool out of your self, we all make mistakes and that's a fact. don't let other peolpe judge you for who you are. talk to people and if by the end of the day if their not your friends then they don't deserve a friend like you. always be your your self and you will find a friend. I wish you the best of luck. never give up :)

There are more people out there who are lonely and shy. They range from little kids to serial killers. It is tough being a human being. The balance we must maintain to be happy is very hard to keep. Just be as friendly and helpful as you can be. There will come a friend before you know it!

Hi I grew up with some of the same issues. I isolate even to this day but thank God for my church. If you believe in God try visiting some churches because lots of Christians will welcome you with open arms. I am a sinner and have secrets but I am still one of Gods people and I will be your friend If you like. I need someone I can tell anything too. So will you be my friend.

look no further because you have found a friend in me.

Well, i can relate to your situation. I was exactly same like you and i was so depressed. But you know what, there are lot of people living like us. No body cares about others, because, they don't have the patience to take care of themselves. Everyone is depressed with something and we are not alone. So by keeping that in mind, i initiated conversation with lot of people. It doesn't matter whether they become friends or just casual talk. But I'm happy that i made someone happy by initiating the talk and killing their loneliness. Probably i could advise you to do the same. We have only one life and after certain age we should not be in position to regret for what we have not done. Enjoy. Make yourself happy. If you couldn't make yourself happy, then who would? think about it. All the very best.

Hi. I think first you need to abandon "God" as he doesn't exist. That's just a fictitious thing we hang on to out of fear when we are in trouble. We are very weak minded beings and God will never fix your problem but make them worse as you would be living with absolutely no touch with reality. Yeah, I know that statement won't be popular with the masses, but deep inside of all of you God lovers know what I'm saying is true. <br />
<br />
Second, if you really want to make friends and have a more enjoyable life, run not walk to buy Rhonda Byrne's audio or book "The Power". I am into self-help a lot and I have found Rhonda's audio to be the most helpful of all for almost about any problem you might have in life, your problem included. I listen to it every night and fall sleep with it on. Listen and remember this... Don't question for a second anything you learn from this book. Just thrust the concept blindly if you will and you'll see an immediate 360 degree turn around in your life for the best. The Power is a true God and believe me, it works! This audio and book can be found free on the web but I won't link to it. <br />
<br />
Take care<br />
<br />
J.C.

Dear friend : talk to God by opening your bible . he will talk to you by this words . start with Matthew , james get a easy to read bible like a student one . Don't worried friend God will help u. If your shy u need to hang around with shy people ,we understand each other , u like art hang around were people do art or u like music at music stores, be bold ask God first to help u communicate right . like say hi introduce yourself say I like music, what your name .. smile a lot , be friendly, don't be pushing . but read the bible God will help get out of it .. I was shy but God taught me how o get out it. you'll see ...

I can really feel for you all who have experienced the loneliness of having no friends. I grew up in a family where I was ignored by my mother as she was mentally ill. My father told me time and time ago to stop bothering him and go and find friends in the neighborhood to play with as he sat in his room looking at playboy magazines and videos. He never gave me much attention (still doesn't today) You grow up feeling very alone and unwanted and get very used to spending time by yourself and not relying on anyone. You tend to think that's how things are, that you are supposed to be ignored for some reason. Yet as human beings, we are meant to connect with others and find love. At times I do feel lonely, no doubt.<br />
<br />
I am in my mid-50's and have spent many years trying to make friends. They either move away, make their boyfriends, children or husbands a priority or they simply are not interested in you at all. I do not find anyone calls me to see how I am doing or want to get together. I join different discussion groups but people don't make any effort it seems. I talk to people regularly asking about their lives and listen really well and have a sense of humor. I ask people if they want to go for coffee or meet for a movie, yet there is always something else they have to do first. No one makes an effort with me. Am I that boring?? I am not super talkative or outgoing, perhaps this is why? <br />
<br />
My family (father and stepmother) have never really made much of an effort with me in the past. I have always been the one to call and talk or invite to do anything. It's been going on for years. So one day, I just stopped to see what would happen. Low and behold it is a year and a half later and they haven't made ONE phone call to my house. I have always been there to meet their needs and run over to help with emergencies. I feel very used.<br />
<br />
I am very disappointed in the men I have met. The ones I have dated and there have been a few - want to get you into bed way too quickly and not even understand who you are as a person. Maybe that's the way things go today - relationships start quicker, I am not sure. I have to go much slower because I was put in a foster home where I was sexually abused. I really don't bother with men any longer so there are no hopes of living happily ever after for me. <br />
<br />
I have stopped relying on other people for my happiness. There are so many things - hobbies, outdoor activities, volunteering, etc. that one can do on their own. I have some pets who I love VERY much. I love cuddling them, taking them for walks and ensuring they are healthy and happy. <br />
<br />
To all those who have posted stories, my heart goes out and I think I understand how you feel. There are wonderful pets you can love and you will always be your friend!!!!

Hello,<br />
<br />
I can really feel for you all who have experienced the loneliness of having no friends. I grew up in a family where I was ignored by my mother as she was mentally ill. My father told me time and time ago to stop bothering him and go and find friends in the neighbourhood to play with as he sat in his room looking at playboy magazines and videos. You grow up feeling very alone and unwanted and get very used to spending time by yourself and not relying on anyone. Yet as human beings, we are meant to connect with others and find love. At times I do feel lonely, no doubt.<br />
<br />
I am in my mid-50's and have spent many years trying to make friends. They either move away, make their boyfriends, children or husbands a priority or they simply are not interested in you at all. I do not find anyone calls me to see how I am doing or want to get together. I join different discussion groups but people don't make any effort it seems. I talk to people regularly asking about their lives and listen really well and have a sense of humor. I ask people if they want to go for coffee or meet for a movie, yet there is always something else they have to do first. No one makes an effort with me. Am I that boring?? I am not super talkative or outgoing, perhaps this is why? <br />
<br />
My family (father and stepmother) have never really made much of an effort with me in the past. I have always been the one to call and talk or invite to do anything. It's been going on for years. So one day, I just stopped to see what would happen. Low and behold it is a year and a half later and they haven't made ONE phone call to my house. I have always been there to meet their needs and run over to help with emergencies. I feel very used.<br />
<br />
I am very disappointed in the men I have met. The ones I have dated and there have been a few - want to get you into bed way too quickly and not even understand who you are as a person. I really don't bother with them any longer so there are no hopes of living happily ever after for me. <br />
<br />
I have stopped relying on other people for my happiness, they will inevitably disappoint. There are so many things - hobbies, outdoor activities, volunteering, etc. that one can do on their own. I have some pets who I love VERY much. I love cuddling them, taking them for walks and ensuring they are healthy and happy. <br />
<br />
To all those who have posted stories, my heart goes out and I think I understand how you feel. There are wonderful pets you can love and you will always be your friend!!!!

I read your story and it's like reading my own. However, I'm not shy at all still I have no friends. Like yours, my family moved when I was 18, to make it worse, to another country. So I had to start my life over when I was 18 and when everyone else already had their circles and friendships developed, it was very, very hard to fit in. I don't think I ever did. I have some friends but that's not it, it's more when it's convinient for them. So I think I can say I'm friend to other people but still in search of a friend of my own :)

Hello,<br />
I am glad you shared your experience here. Sometimes just writing something down helps me gain a little perspective and I hope that this might have done the same for you. I am much older than you are and that is an advantage in being able to give you advice ba<x>sed on experience. Actually, I'm not sure I'll offer advice as much as I want to encourage you to see this time in your life as a time for lovely opportunity, for change and joy in living more openly. Many people here, really nice and smart people, have already said some wise things. If anyone seems too critical then that is not the one you should re - read and let bother you, anyway. I think my friendships, the best ones that I still have 20 years later, came when I was near your age. I didn't begin to have maturity enough to be a good friend until then and that was probably linked to the fact that I had not had much confidence in myself until I was your age, either. Those things together allowed me to be more outgoing with other people, when I think that before that I'd mostly expected them to initiate any conversation or extend any invitation, and even judged them as being stand-offish, which was wrong of me. I started smiling instead of thinking it was somehow cool to frown - silly as that sounds now! I said hello first. I asked about the other person's interests, and was genuinely interested in what they had to say - polite questions followed by being obviously distracted while the persons answers don't foster friendships. People will like you if your questions are genuine, but not nosy. Good manners, used at all times, will help as much as anything in cementing and maintaining any relationship, certainly friendships, new or old. Being fair. Being willing to share the opportunity to speak instead of dominating a conversation makes you a good friend. But you still need to talk! Being generous enough to love someone who isn't perfect either makes for a good friendship. I guess I mainly wanted to express that it is easier than you might think. I once thought I was just shy, but I really simply did not have confidence that being just who I am was enough. It wasn't about other people's failure to be friends with me, but my own lack of believe in myself. I believe that will develop for you. It is already beginning, with awareness, so you have a great start. You can see from the comments here that you are not odd or unusual at all, and that at your age, many of us had similar concerns. I am so happy that I learned to be a friend and to appreciate everything that friends mean to me. I hope you will comment here again one day very soon, with happiness over the changes in your life. God be with you. You are going to be a fantastic friend to someone - maybe many someones!

hi i want frend im alon

I feel for you too, but don't worry, there is always a way out of situations like this one. I was picked on from about the end of grade school through my Sophomore year of high school. I could always tell I was different, but I never knew why. I lost my father at an early age and I think that contributed to it. But I did see others who had it much worse than I did, getting beat up and severely bullied every day, where mine was not quite as severe. And in high school I finally made "friends" (which were really just acquaintances, like you said) with people I really didn't like, just because they dressed really hard core in black, with spikes on their jackets, etc, because after that the picking stopped, although I still had no real friends. <br />
<br />
But in college something changed. I started getting really into reading literature and writing A LOT, to relieve my loneliness and pain. And I got into computers, messing around with graphics and websites. I became interested in things and stopped worrying so much about what other people thought about me. Embarrassment used to KILL me. People's words were like knives cutting at me. But once I stopped caring as much, I seem to open up more, and I was in college so I was meeting people in class, MANY who had some of the SAME experiences I had. I was open, and they were open, so I formed friendships. Now, at this moment, I do not have a ton of friends. I have a small group of close friends... two, to be exact, and then me. I still worry from time to time that what people think of me, something bad, might be true. BUT IT IS A LIE. I know myself better than anyone, and I know my attributes, and I am learning to love myself. Once you do that, no one can take it away from you. And if you do, and you are getting involved in life outside of the house, you will eventually meet people and possibly become friends. <br />
<br />
Also, taking steps to meet people online is also a good idea and can keep the loneliness at bay, but I would not rely on it totally to meet your needs. <br />
<br />
You are a great and worthy person. Find ways to learn to love yourself, find things that you love and do only for you, and get out of the house. You deserve to have friends, and you will have. <br />
And pray for them, too. There is nothing wrong with asking for help in this, or any other, area. <br />
Much love.

I thought I had a bust friend as an adult but a friend of his stepped in and made trouble about 7 years ago..... We haven't even talked sence but if the day comes I can help him in any way I would still be there for him...... Now I'm 100% disabled my wife passed in 05 I live with my son his girl friend and my grandson.....<br />
But what really sucks is I'm more alone now then ever......... Oh and that was my only bust friend I ever had we wore just very good friends.......

Well, I'm 21 years old and I'm well on my way to become just like you.<br />
Over the years I've developed an impressive list of phobias and disorders, making recovery impossible. And in my world view, there are no gods to save us.

Hello Angel<br />
<br />
Well your a great writer, clearly intelligent, look at all the people you have moved just on this page.<br />
<br />
Im not shy, I have no trouble making friends to the point that sometimes I neglect my friends which is very naughty and I dont advise that!<br />
<br />
So lets look at a solution for you, a real solution, I believe there is an answer to literally anything IF you want to find it.<br />
<br />
To my mind you need to understand yourself, seems like your feeling around in the dark, trying to second guess people. Have you heard of NLP, its just a tool its not some new fangled spiritualist stuff (though I do like that) its ba<x>sed on solid research. <br />
<br />
What it does is it gives you the set of tools you need to interact with people easily, it will build your confidence but more importantly help you understand yourself. It will give you what comes naturally to me as an extrovert, but allow you to remain if you wish the wonderful shy person you are but just make more friends.<br />
<br />
When you were a baby did you give up trying to walk cos you fell down 100 times? No. Never give up angel!<br />
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The answer is practice, repetition and let yourself make mistakes. Move at your own pace so buy a book first, then maybe join a group if thats not the right NLP group find another or join a group online. You can fix this, but you want a long term solution so I wont lie to you this will take time. <br />
<br />
Then the beauty is as you start to find out who you really are, maybe by reading the odd self help book, going to a counsellor for a chat or two, slowing recognising what helps you and what doesnt. When you do get your natural confidence back, which you will, you will have that shinning glorious day when you can help someone just like yourself and then darling then your really going to shine. Maybe this has been your life experience because you want to help people.<br />
<br />
Look at all these people who have opened up to you and want to show you love and respect.<br />
<br />
Youre a very special person ( we all are) you can do this I have complete faith in you. Im also very excited for the great future that lies ahead of you. Whatever creator you believe in he has create this world to impress you, so you can enjoy it...believe me you are very much loved. You just lost your footing a bit but we all do that dont we from time to time.<br />
<br />
BIG KISS<br />
Daisy xx

real friend is who you can talk with about everything with.<br />
i don't have one like this.<br />
maybe i am the problem.<br />
who cares!

I totally agree with the post by: AxcellaZed on Nov 2nd, 2010 at 6:14AM and also, what "belovebejoy" said earlier: reading a cupla books like The Power Of Now and A New Earth wouldn't go astray. I used to be PAINFULLY shy as a child right through to teen years and its takes a bit of work at first but the more you push yourself to make an effort, and practice your social skills (believe it or not they're a LEARNT skill, we're not born with the gift of the gab, you learn off your parents and these days a lot of us don't have parents who are able to be there for us and teach us these social skills) it will get easier each time and the more you'll find there actually are a lot of really good and genuine people out there. You have to realize and understand that you're just as good as anyone else and you'll be surprised at how many people are really just like you deep down. There's a proverb by i can't remember who originally said but J. Jackson quoted it on a past album, i think its kinda appropriate: "In complete darkness we are all the same, it is only our knowledge and wisdom that seperates us, don't let your eyes deceive you". This quote doesn't have to just apply to race (the intention in which i think it was for) but I think to anyone who feels lonely or feeling like ther'ye somehow different that no-one will understand them or not believing they fit in anywhere. Anyhoo, Keep up the good work.....because you're worth it!

OK, first things first - you state you are shy and depressed. Have you checked this out medically? Hey, I'm not one to suggest pills for pills sake, but it sure as Heck sounds like a classic case of adolescent onset clinical depression. <br />
I'm just a guy that was a Navy Corpsman, and nowadays, I'm a High School Science teacher, but I have seen stories similar to yours more than a few times. Really, get it checked out. There;s some subtle chemical imbalances that can be dealt with relatively easily - but people suffer for years without realizing that something as simple as - say, Lithium Salts - can make such a huge difference.<br />
<br />
So, let's say it isn't a chemical imbalance - well, take a look at some of the comments before mine. Force yourself to get out and talk to people. Try some new hobbies. I mean, if you don't like, drop'em and try something else, but go out and try something different. <br />
<br />
Get involved in something bigger than yourself. Church groups are good - habitat for humanity, food kitchens. It sounds like you are sorry for yourself, but, cripes, get out of the house and look at what other people go through. Yeah, you got it tough, but other people got it worse. Deal with yourself by helping them deal with their problems.<br />
<br />
I have very few friends. Mostly acquaintences, but darn few friends. Which is fine for me, I can get by fine that way. Been doing it for 55 years now. I did 28 years in the military, and got used to being close to people for a few years, then moving on. Face book is good for that - well, it doesn't sound like you've moved much, but I stay in touch with old friends from the military, high school, previous jobs, former students, people in my writer's group, that sort of thing.<br />
<br />
Big thing is, stop sitting there and feeling sorry for yourself! I think your story is your "cry for help" You should be able to figure out what you need to do - go out and do it!

11/2/10<br />
<br />
If it is possible, you may want to consider revisiting the three sisters from 7th-8th grade! Many people say some of their best friends are from their childhood-adolescent years. These friends are often more like family during your developmental years. It is not unreasonable to look up old childhood friends, and 12-14 years old is old enough to form such long term friends, especially in an age of social web sites. If you were casual and they were responsive, you could find a way to inquire, gain some insight. There is always the self as part of every equation. This does not mean you are "wrong" or a "bad person", but it could shed light on how you relate or perhaps other issues that caused this sudden loss of friendship. People respond to you the way you present your self, and by being "available" to participate (including managing your emotional life as a requisite.) Now, if you are confident and not too serious in such a query, they will not hold back out of concern over conflict or hurt feelings. Sometimes just being very direct in asking, and letting them know it's all in the past, and be as interested in how they are and "just saying hello!"... This is one idea, and it may not be right for you, but I find if you present yourself in a positive way, and are not desperate or over concerned in communication, you can learn the skills to be very effective at socialization and "feedback loops" of others responses, of which you could choose to learn from, rather than being offended by. Best of luck!

I'll be your friend. Because like you, I never had many close friends while growing up. My dad was in the military and we moved every three years. In my senior year of high school I made a really good friend and that lasted for about 12 years after that. he became a mormon and said he wasn't allowed to associate with non mormons. So since that time, I have never really had friends of my own.<br />
I am a man 54 years old, married and have three fully grown children. Even married people need friends you know. And also like you know Jesus as my own true personal friend....

Hi Reeda, I know from my personal experience how hard is not to have anybody to call. My family and my friends are not in this country, so the only person that I have here is my husband. I told him how sad I felt without friends, so he bought me a chihuahua, she is a puppy, and now I am very happy with her. A puppy requires a lot of work but it is so nice to see her everyday. The puppy sleep with us on our bed, and I really want to let you know that now that I have her in my life i don't have the need to have friends. I also wanted to share something that my psychology teacher said in my class, she said that the older we get the harder it is to get friends, especially because you don't trust in people as easily as you used to do when you were a teenager, so be prepared for this, I am now experimenting it, I remember that when I was a teenager it was really easy for me to trust in people and that's why I had friends, but now I don't trust in nobody, especially because there are so many rapers and crazy people out there, I know , it sounds paranoic but I guess that is what happens when you get older.

Hi Reeda, I know from my personal experience how hard is not to have anybody to call. My family and my friends are not in this country, so the only person that I have here is my husband. I told him how sad I felt without friends, so he bought me a chihuahua, she is a puppy, and now I am very happy with her. A puppy requires a lot of work but it is so nice to see her everyday. The puppy sleep with us on our bed, and I really want to let you know that now that I have her in my life i don't have the need to have friends. I also wanted to share something that my psychology teacher said in my class, she said that the older we get the harder it is to get friends, especially because you don't trust in people as easily as you used to do when you were a teenager, so be prepared for this, I am now experimenting it, I remember that when I was a teenager it was really easy for me to trust in people and that's why I had friends, but now I don't trust in nobody, especially because there are so many rapers and crazy people out there, I know , it sounds paranoic but I guess that is what happens when you get older.

I know how .you feel I think I have friend then they dump me and disappear, I have no parents dad died mother disappeared. Bought up Children's home, ignored at school and afterwards I was shunned as they all assumed I was in the home because I was bad, which left even less friends.<br />
Life is a merry go round of illness and depression and no friend.<br />
<br />
sorry to go on

Hi Reeda, I understand lonlyness as I am disabled & house bound most of the time, all I can advise is that you find a good church nearbye & join it & join all the things that go on there, you will soon make real good frends that care for you.<br />
Hope all go's well. Bye, Dean.

hi, i read ur story, its so sad. Reeda I want to tell you, when u were in 8th std. your friends stopped talking to you but that time you had to ask them why did they do so.

Hello,your story really touched me. I'm only in 9th grade and for what I see I'm really popular I'm school but I hate it. I've come to make a group of popular kids at my school to let those who the people leave out for people like me. After I read this you just gave me a greater inspiration to continue my "movement" to make school society equal and that everybody is treated equal. I really like your story.

hey yep hmmm, bll,ohhhh? good to hear and type you., this is only my vision of what u and i both have.. i dont have the childhood memories of growing up with kids at school and" the prom " and getting married and knowing these people for the rest of my life, GOD NO!! wish that on urself if u want, but u have a life ,and a life that will be exciting ,im talking jaw dropping , story writing, looking back FUN!! you have only got started, . the life you have is deep inside u and i would love to be around when YOU let loose!!!!!!!!! <br />
god i talk a lot , get on a roll. we are all ur friends .. for ever , ok granma? anytime MY FRIENDxxxxxooo

That part of your life is over now....I am your friend.....contact me soon and tell me all about your life, I really do want to know and be a part of it. You can be a part of mine. Regards Stephen

First of all I want to acknowledge your strength for sharing. I can relate to this story. And as you can see a lot of people can relate to that story. I think that most people don't feel like they have real friends. We connect with people at work, school and in social groups, but friendship is really a process of getting to know someone over a long period of time.<br />
<br />
Like the gentleman who experienced painful deception from his wife and best friend. He didn't know that both of those people were broken until it was too late. In turn he got hurt. Now his work is to heal and forgive so that he can be open and receptive to the opportunity for new love and new friendship. <br />
<br />
You are a lovely person. You have God in your life. I know for sure that God is all we really need. Move forward and maintain that connection to God--even work on strengthening that connection. Find a place of worship and keep your focus on the only real and relevant thing; GOD's presence in your heart and God's love that surrounds you. When you see the God in yourself, you will see God in everyone. From there you will be able to feel the connection between you and the other people in your life. Friendships do not happen overnight. Friendships take time to develop. Sometimes conflict and discomfort play a part in the journey of getting close to someone. We have to accept and love ourselves and accept and love people for who they are. And know that nobody is without love if they have God. <br />
<br />
Yours,<br />
KIMI

First of all I want to acknowledge your strength for sharing. I can relate to this story. And as you can see a lot of people can relate to that story. I think that most people don't feel like they have real friends. We connect with people at work, school and in social groups, but friendship is really a process of getting to know someone over a long period of time.<br />
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Like the gentleman who experienced painful deception from his wife and best friend. He didn't know that both of those people were broken until it was too late. In turn he got hurt. Now his work is to heal and forgive so that he can be open and receptive to the opportunity for new love and new friendship. <br />
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You are a lovely person. You have God in your life. I know for sure that God is all we really need. Move forward and maintain that connection to God--even work on strengthening that connection. Find a place of worship and keep your focus on the only real and relevant thing; GOD's presence in your heart and God's love that surrounds you. When you see the God in yourself, you will see God in everyone. From there you will be able to feel the connection between you and the other people in your life. Friendships do not happen overnight. Friendships take time to develop. Sometimes conflict and discomfort play a part in the journey of getting close to someone. We have to accept and love ourselves and accept and love people for who they are. And know that nobody is without love if they have God. <br />
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Yours,<br />
KIMI

Honey, i can hear your pain. life can be cruel and bad and sad and there is things we do not comprehend outthre but hear me out time is something you have and you young and hey you are making friend here... something else life always manages to work itself out you kjust have to give it a chance, i lost my friends ina car crach and a few years latter my fiance and best friend passt away too, i know loneliness feels heavy on ones heart when there is no one to talk to and how the older youa re the harder it is to create bonds with people who know other from years and have tones in common with them.... good news baby you are not alone i forn one can say i am here for you any ime you need to talk message me in a distance i promise to be as good as friedn as ic an be <br />
big hug <br />
xxxxx

I'll probably repeat what other members have said, but I feel I need to add something else too. Now I realise you've been bullied and had a some rubbish episodes in your life, but I ask you not to feel sorry for yourself, simply because this will get you down even further and from what I've read and intuit, I truly believe you are a person who is genuine with a good heart, are being tested for your inner strength and resolve, as you are finding yourself being put under unpleasant situtations, where you feel you have no friend to turn to, but to rely upon yourself. <br />
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Now I feel that you should use that inner strength you have to believe in yourself more<br />
and I implore that tell youreslf repeatedly that you are a good person and YOU WILL ATTRACT wonderful genuine, longterm friendships into your life, I see you are religious there is no reason why you can ask Father God, Jesus and the Angels for help in the matter. <br />
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I say this because I was in a similar situation to you, got bullied at school, people didn't like me but there was no logical reason why. Something came to mind when I was writing this . When things were okay at your school (you had good friends etc,) were you are high achiever with school grades, before your grades slipped? I ask this, as some students may have been jealous and insecure and so wanted to take out their dispicable frustration out on you, hence the negative attitude, ignoring, name calling, bullying etc.,<br />
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So what is the solution? Whilst you are doing your prayers and telling yourself constantly that you will attract good, kind, genuine people into your life, YOU can help speed up the situation by putting things into action and doing things like; volunteering at your local church or at some other community group in your area that will need your help, join walking groups, do dance classes (trust me this is the best way to meet people), take up a hobby at evening or day classes such as sports, painting, pottery, knitting, sewing, or whatever takes your fancy. But DO SOMETHING to put yourself in the social setting and then the true friends will follow. I wish you all the best.

I feel like the odd one out here, Reeda, because I'm going to give you some practical advice. It may hurt your ego a little, but it's worth getting the results. Walk up to someone you trust, like a friend, coworker, sibling, or parent, and ask them why they think you don't have any friends. It should only take about 5 minutes to ask this, and you don't have to be nearly so blunt by wording it exactly this way. You can say something like, "Suzy - I'm trying to meet more people and make more friends but I'm having trouble doing this, and wondered if you noticed anything about me that makes me impersonable."<br />
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He/she may be able to give you some pointers, such as, you are too quiet, you don't join in conversation, you have bad personal hygiene (trus me, for some this is true), or you make people uncomfortable in some way. Don't be depressed by what you hear. Just take it as constructive criticism, and work on improving what you can. You'll be surprised by what you learn and how you can grow by asking for some constructive criticism. Last but not least, don't ask just one person, since some people are afraid to give their honest criticisms, ask 3 or 4 people. Then make a list, and work on what you can. I'm not asking you to being a socialite, but even if it means one move-night a week with a friend, or joining a book club, then you are moving forward!

What a dreadful situation you are in . And it s like a dark cloud hanging over you .<br />
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But you are a clever girl ; I sense that because the answers are actually written in your OWN story ......... Regard ....<br />
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1. You had good friends so you are n't actually anti social . You had living in Arkensas thrust upon you at a delicate age , a time when you could n't get in touch on email . Look on facebook for your old friends <br />
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2. You believe in God .... join a church . Everyone' s welcome there .<br />
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3 But wake up each morning and say ''I'm MARVELLOUS ''. Seriously it works . It takes a few weeks and i now do it each morning . It will make you more postive .<br />
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4. You have taken the first step by writing it down . But look at what you have written carefully . you yourself have the answers in that story .<br />
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5. Join a voluntary charity organisation , a walking group , a reading group , shop for the elderly .<br />
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ANGEL , YOU ARE GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS SOON . i FEEL IT IN MY GUT .

I can relate you in so many ways. I am a great 'friend' to most people in terms of knowing that when they call I’ll help/be there. I just don't get that in return, which is so sad. I find myself always giving more (emotionally included). i am very intelligent, a good communicator but i often find myself alone. and i ask myself why?!! I’ve come to the (ob<x>jective) realization, through much reflection and root cause analysis that the problem doesn't lie with me/ I've come to realize that most people (especially men) are unbelievably intimidated by me and what i project. It will take someone with great substance to engage with me socially even. I am very bashful by nature but this is usually not a big deal. and contrary to what some might think, i am very chilled. I've also noticed that most people want "friends" around them that are lower to them (job, house, material things, wealth) even if only by a small margin, so that they feel better about themselves. Most people are so caught up by themselves that they don’t I want a friend whom i can inspire and be inspired by. not just give advice but give me insight into things in my life. I give everyone the Benefit of doubt but get disappointed each time, but i never lose hope that like-minded people are out there, endangered species, but they there!

I read your story, experience, seeing a lot of loneliness. I have felt that in the past. I wonder if you have become your own best friend? Do you like being with yourself? Doesn't seem like it. In our Western society we don't like to be alone we feel a need to be with others, which is okay, yet we can be in a large crowd and still feel lonely, I have been there. I felt alone with no friends then I realized that if I didn't like me who else would want to like me? Sounds simple, you probably are saying, "How can you say that I don't like myself?"<br />
May I suggest what I did. I decided to treat myself like I would my best friend. I became honest to myself, learning more about myself. I started going to places I wanted to go to, not what was expected of me. I did things for me.<br />
I became open to others and just made myself available. I volunteered in area of my interested. I started reading books and more. <br />
Then one day, not overnight, I found that I had some quality friendships, not loads but qualities. People who liked being with me. They remembered me outside of the places I met them. Some said things like, 'I like being with you," <br />
I met the man of my dreams when I went on my own to a community potluck, where I have met a lot of people some are friends and some are not. I stopped blaming others for being alone and decided to be available and out there.<br />
Hopefully this is helpful.

i understand where ur coming from i have always been shy and only had a few friends from school which i lost contact with and from work who are all now married with kids i work alone in an industry with no other people my age so i dont get the chance 2 meet new people thank god ive got my parents and my pets...

i only have real good friends when i attended primary school! my mom was the one against me making friends,her excuse was i only mke friend if she knew the parents bt even if she did she never agrees.i'm now in my 3Θ with no frinds, hav hard time mking 1

I feel like u. I moved from my home country few manths ago and lost all my freinds and my fimily.<br />
Now I'm alone here and have no support ,U are lucky that your family are with u, everynight when I go to bed I'm crying but I know God is with me he is the only person that I talk to him.

In a way I know how you feel. (But I believe in science, not God.) I'm sure a person is out there that frequents the same place you do, and doesn't have a friend. Just be aware and open... and I'm sure someone special will come into your life. ( :

I think most people have very few REAL friends. Although I have dozens of acquaintances, there are only 2 people in the world I can truly say ANYTHING to without being judged. I have had very high-profile jobs in media and entertainment, so I met lots of people....but my best friends were my dogs and my books. I was always outgoing and friendly, but was not comfortable letting people get too close. I learned at a very young age that friends disappoint. My two friends live a world apart and have very little in common. One is male, the other female. They speak different languages. Still, they accept me for who I am and love me unconditionally.....as I love them. Friendship does not come easily. It is a rare and special gift. Best of luck.

Reeda,<br />
I can totally relate to you. I am 27 and I feel like all the ones I was at one point close to are moving on with their lives and getting married, having children, etc...I feel stuck and lonely, especially the last week or so. I seem shy at first, like you say you do, but I am an interested, loving and genuine person. It is hard for others to see that from first impressions.<br />
I have cried and prayed for God to intervene somehow. Some books that have helped are of course"The New Earth", and "The Power Of Now", but I also recommend "The Happiness Myth".<br />
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I think what has helped me in the progress I have made thus far is truly accepting myself the way I am and knowing God made no mistake and I am perfect. I listed a few quotes and my intention is sincerely you help you find comfort in your current situation, then open yourself up to new situations. I hope it helps. <3<br />
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"knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom." – aristotle<br />
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"Resolve to be thyself; and know that he who finds himself, loses his misery."---Matthew Arnold

I actually cried at this story because I fell like you were saying what I have been feeling for so long. I couldn’t believe what I was reading. I have been talking to my sister about me not having any friends and how I want at least one, the only difference is I have never been shy; I am so out spoken and friendly. @ Theverysubjective, I have wanted to be friends with people and put in the effort of being a good friend and they just burn me and I do not know why. So what am I doing wrong?

...friends are over-rated..my best friend of 25 years only pretended to be my friend so that he could maintain contact with my wife and carry on their 18 year sexual affair.. his betrayal and my wife's has destroyed my life..so the lesson here is that you never know if your friends are real and truthful and loyal..they are capable of using you for their own purposes and not really caring about you...for this reason, my user name is "NO MORE FRIENDS".. be careful who you choose as your friends..they can stab you in the back!!!

Yep, been there. And I am a guy; it is different for guys. When I was young my best friend was killed in a bicycle accident. I was beaten up, too...if I were a kid today and the same things were done to me at school, the bullies would do jail time. Being mugged is not fun. In high school there was a possibility, but her dad was in the armed forces; he was reassigned and I never saw her again.<br />
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However, after time I simply tried being nicer and kinder, saying 'Good Morning' and such (that is a guy thing!). That took a long time to do; like you, I was shy. But eventually I got some good friends. I was married at over 50 years of age, but we are happy. For me, I simply had to be the type of person that one would like to be friends with. I tend to be way too logical and disconnected.<br />
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Hobbies are a very good idea; they give you something to talk about as well as people to talk to.