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I Have No Friends In High School

I have absolutely no friends in high school for 3 years now, and this would be my 4th year soon. I only have 1 acquaintance that I talk to, but not a lot. I'm not very good at starting conversations or maintaining them. I sit alone most of the time in my classes, and I go to the library at lunch time so that I don't have to sit alone in the cafeteria. I'm still alone at the library, but I just feel more comfortable there when my mind is set on homework. I sometimes wonder if I have BO, and that is one of the reasons why I have no friends?...I ask my family members and cousins if I smell, but they say no. But when I look at the person sitting next to me, I think they think that i stink. Anyone that sits beside me always have their hands resting around their chin-looks like their covering their nose or put their elbow up, and lean the other direction away from me. Maybe I do stink? How can i tell? I smell my underarms, but they
just smell like my antiperspirant lol.

My second concern:
Everyone is talking about their prom dresses for graduation, and I think that it would make me feel really awkward to attend that since I don't have any friends to dance with/talk to there. So, I was wondering..(since I have no one else to ask) is the prom part of the graduation ceremony, like on the same day? Cause if not, then I won't attend.

Thank-you for reading this

Oh, one more thing, do I need a dress at all for the grad ceremony? Or do they wear the grad gown the whole time with normal clothes underneath?
Wishx Wishx 16-17, F 26 Responses Nov 16, 2010

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I know this was a long time ago but I hope you are doing well now! I went through a lot of weird stuff in high school too. Hope all you guys out there make friends! I know I would like friends :p. Sending out prayers! :)

like wow like whoad ur such a looser! like seriouuly get a life, talk 2 ppl or theyll never talk 2 u, harsh but true! like if u dnt try, u wont get results!

At least she can write coherently

Ur so mean. i was once like thhis and i still am but the only thing i did to make my self feel better wwas spread feelings to my mom and she really helped. So maybe you should tell a loving one eh? also if you dont go to prom its okay. But i really think you should because who knows you might make new friends. Join socail clubs or sports. make friends from other forms and eat lunch with them. hope i helped xxx

Wow, tell me more about yr numerous number of friends mayamatlin1213. Is that why you spend yr leftover time on experience proj? Yr the loser, u jerk

I'm a very shy person, I'm going through something similar. I haven't had any friends to sit with at lunch for the past 2 years and I'm a sophomore in high school.For lunch I usually sit alone in a bathroom stall and eat in there. I feel like such a LOSER because I want to be like my big sister who always hangs out with a lot friends. Even my little sister has friends and she was shy too! They don't know about this because I don't want anyone to. I've known most of the people I go to school with since 2nd grade but I still can't make friends! Is there something wrong with me? I felt really bad on valentines day when everyone in my family got something except me. I feel so lonely, sometimes I just cry and make up excuses so I don't have to go to school. Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead so I don't have to suffer. PLEASE HELP SOMEONE, and please don't say just be yourself or put yourself out there because that doesn't help!

If you don't feel like being yourself, just try to be nice to people. go up to someone who has been fairly nice over the years and start up a small talk conversation. if you have a sense of humor time making a joke. Just remember I can't hurt to make any oneto try to make friends. even if you face rejection you'll come out knowing what you did wrong and not do that next time you try. Hope this helped!

This is a late answer, but anyways, I'm a sophomore and I'm semi popular. People are shy because they are scared what people think of them. What you should justify is if they are the judging type. If they are, screw them they are buttmunch **** who are obsessed with how people think of *them! If they aren't, don't worry, I used to think a while ago everyone would plot against me if I even looked in their general direction. But I realized as long as you present that you don't like or take bullshit you can be social or not and not be frowned apon. If it says swag, yolo, hashtag etc., wears a snap back or if it even looks like an ***. Think of that person as not worthy of your time. America is the land of bad behaved minorities and people. To tell you the truth, this is probably the best response you will get. Remember though, once high schools through you'll be happy and free, while the retards who derived on attention will die off and fold towels for a living. And that's not a mom quote. It's true.

Read my comment down below, I accidentally replied to the wrong person I think.

I'm a very shy person, I'm going through something similar. I haven't had any friends to sit with at lunch for the past 2 years and I'm a sophomore in high school.For lunch I usually sit alone in a bathroom stall and eat in there. I feel like such a LOSER because I want to be like my big sister who always hangs out with a lot friends. Even my little sister has friends and she was shy too! They don't know about this because I don't want anyone to. I've known most of the people I go to school with since 2nd grade but I still can't make friends! Is there something wrong with me? I felt really bad on valentines day when everyone in my family got something except me. I feel so lonely, sometimes I just cry and make up excuses so I don't have to go to school. Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead so I don't have to suffer. PLEASE HELP SOMEONE, and please don't say just be yourself or put yourself out there because that doesn't help!

You and me. I do the same thing...I recently moved to a school with 2000 kids in it. There are cliques and then me. I try to be confident and start conversations but everyone is really stuck up. The school is in an upscale neighborhood. Everyone knows everyone and I don't have any friends. :(

I'm a very shy person, I'm going through something similar. I haven't had any friends to sit with at lunch for the past 2 years and I'm a sophomore in high school.For lunch I usually sit alone in a bathroom stall and eat in there. I feel like such a LOSER because I want to be like my big sister who always hangs out with a lot friends. Even my little sister has friends and she was shy too! They don't know about this because I don't want anyone to. I've known most of the people I go to school with since 2nd grade but I still can't make friends! Is there something wrong with me? I felt really bad on valentines day when everyone in my family got something except me. I feel so lonely, sometimes I just cry and make up excuses so I don't have to go to school. Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead so I don't have to suffer. PLEASE HELP SOMEONE, and please don't say just be yourself or put yourself out there because that doesn't help!

Hi I'm leanna. um I'm 17, a junior in HS, and I have the same problem as you... I recently dropped out of HS because of it, but went back to a homeschool type program, where I turn in my work once a week. Its taken alot of pressure off of me socially, but I still feel depressed alot of times because I'm so alone. But I felt much worse when I was forced to be around all the people at my school who had friends, when I didn't... I've always been shy and awkward, but I was lucky to have met people who I didn't have to try with until I was in HS... This age sucks, it really does, especially for people like you and me. What makes it worse for me is that there are no "losers" at my school like me that I could've befriended..I'm the only one. <br />
I doubt it has anything to do with how you smell, if you can't smell it yourself. But if you really feel self conscious, try a body spray. ( used Dove GoFresh Pomegranite&Lemon, and my sister, who was VERY popular in HS, always compliments me when I wear it) and a stronger deodorant (maybe a men's one.). And Always keep your hair clean I suppose, use a nice smelling shampoo..like suave coconut or something.<br />
I know a big thing for me was my attitude. I always had a sad/depressed/angry look on my face, that my parents said probably made me unapproachable. If you have that problem, maybe fake a half smile on your face whenever you can manage.<br />
And here are the things I observe in my extremely likeable sister when we hang out: the first thing is that she's pretty, and takes good care of herself. I can't help the pretty part, since I wasn't blessed with her looks, but I do try to take care of myself, dress nice, clean skin, neat hair, etc. People Stop and talk to her that don't know her all the time, and I know it's because she's so pretty.<br />
She walks with ALOT of confidence. You know, shoulders back, head up, smiling...<br />
Also she's very naturally outgoing. This I'll never have. But when she talks to someone who doesn't seem to want to talk, they end up loving her. <br />
<br />
Sorry this is late, I know you're probably about to graduate, right? Well if you're going to a college, maybe get a dorm room, one with a roommate. And try to reach out to her as a friend, see if you can tag along with her and her friends. And even if you're not going to college, then just try to act confident and outgoing wherever you go. If you can make just one friend, then you might meet their friends, and before you know it, you could have a group to spend time with. <br />
I know I'm not the best example, but that's because I can't get over my shyness. Also I have a bit of acne which makes me close off from people even more, even though it's not that bad.<br />
<br />
I hope this helps... I'd be your friend if that were possible, but I'll really be wishing the best for you. And sorry this is so long haha<br />
<br />
Sincerely, Leanna S.

Just wanted to know how you are doing... Since your post. I've been thinking about it, and I hope you find the friends you need.

Hi friend,<br />
<br />
<br />
You were wondering why you have no friends (or can't make friends).. actually you answered your own question alreaedy, <br />
<br />
" I'm not very good at starting conversations or maintaining them. "<br />
<br />
<br />
So this is why you can't seem to get along with people well, I understand that it's pretty hard to do something you're not good with, but letting you know that is the problem.. and when you desperately hate the way it is, probably give it a try to talk more, start it and maintain the conversation by just asking them questions, listen to their stories (if they tell), share some of your stories too, share ideas, etc. Like this things the conversation won't end. But don't try too hard, because it can make you awkward and become speechless too.<br />
<br />
I know you'll get through this easily, <br />
If you want to be friends, don't hesitate to msg me : ) <br />
<br />
Good luck! :D

Hey, little lady don't worry about what others think about u. u have a life to live and, a future to create with unlimited possibilities. You can feel sorry for urself or choose to create fun memories that will last a life time, so go treat urself to a rockin dress and, a nice makeover and then go takeover! Because U Rock!.....:)

Concern One----It may just be your misconception that you smell bad. One way to find out is try smelling your under arms before you retire to sleep (without taking a bath). You can smaell youself and find out if its so bad that even you cant stand it. If so try using a deoderant.

Dear Wishx, <br />
<br />
It is likely that things will improve when you switch into another environment but just in case they don't seem to, here is the best advice I can give you. I've had lows where I've felt the same way you do but a very wise woman once told me her story and I'm going to pass it onto you. This woman had experience as a real state agent where she was trained to accept slammed doors and swear words everyday and it changed her attitude in many ways. Be fearless and try to learn to read the people around you; it may be very hard because your own insecurities may get in the way but approach people. Even if you get rejected, don't be crushed. Just forget about that person and move on. Also, when I don't have anyone to talk to journaling has helped me clear my mind a lot. However, a good relationship with a school counselor can make a great difference as well. Remember, be fearless and BE YOURSELF. <br />
<br />
Good Luck!

There are things you can do with your time alone that open doors to friendship, like reading or perfecting a skill. There are many people like you (and me), so you are not really alone.

Hello.<br />
There are many personality types in this world.<br />
<br />
I go solo too. And it took me a while to find out that I fit in<br />
perfectly with the Introvert personality type.<br />
<br />
IMHO, you are an Introvert.<br />
<br />
Google the term. And you will find people like you.<br />
<br />
Cheers. And rock on. <br />
You are ok. You will be fine. Just Breathe. :)

hi wishx,<br />
i think helenbacks idea is the best, we all do tend to play a tape in our heads, and sadly it almost always is on the negative side.<br />
so like she said change the tape, and firstly look at all the positive things about yourself.<br />
better still write them down, so then you have something to back you up.<br />
a thing i used to do was, go to new places and be braver and chattier with the girls.<br />
i think we all assume other people are full of negatity towards us, but there not, most are just like us,<br />
most people are shy and awkward at first, but they become more relaxed as time goes by.<br />
remember a stranger is a friend you haven't met yet.<br />
best wishes <br />
cyril

Hi WishX,<br />
I appreciate your thoughts. Some times we feel alone within the heavy crowd, because we think nobody cares for us, we are the most unattractive in the world. If we look at the reason, people don't care for us, simply, because they don't know anything about us. They think us unattractive because they have never considered our qualities. Unless we present ourselves before others nobody will ever look into our heart and appreciate us.<br />
<br />
About the thing, you mentioned about how you smell..... I haven't met you, still from your words, I can assure you smell great !<br />
<br />
Speaking about myself, I have spent most of my college days alone... It hurts being alone. Path of life, full of curves is a long way, but at the end you will find many people waiting only for you. Try to remain busy in your work. Have some modest dreams - to do something for the world - for the people, you will never feel alone. <br />
<br />
Making friends requires to spend some time. Are you ready to spend ? Still more important - Is it worth spending on them. Ask yourself your heart will give you answer. Dance in the rain, feel the sun, feel the cold, enjoy every thing in your life. Have a rhythm of your own that the world may follow later. . .

When I started in H.S. I didn't have a lot of friends, and I was pretty aqwerd with people. I didn't really know myself. I joined many organizations to try and find myself. Drama, Wrestling, Cross-Country, Speech, Debate, Band.... I never fit in with any of those crowds, but It forced me to interact with people, it forced me to do things I was afraid of, and because of it I had people I knew and more people knew me. That got me out of my slump. <br />
<br />
I didn't really even have a friend until my junior year. I had a crush on this girl, and we ended up becoming an item.... She very pretty, but was a HORRIBLE person. And one fine day, we were sitting at lunch, and she just started ripping on this girl at the end of the table. She was like you... no friends, and always sitting alone. I was absolutely stunned at what cam out of my GF mouth and I just asked her for my ring, and when she gave it to me.. I plainly said, "Were through." And I walked over and sat next to the girl at the end of the table. <br />
<br />
She was crying at that point, and it took me a few min to get her to laugh at something, and then we went and took a walk together. She and I were good friends from then on. She told me that she felt that she was different than every one. She was different. She was sweet, and caring, and pretty, and a damn good friend. I did my best to be a damn good friend to her. <br />
<br />
See, it's been my experience that in general people are good natured. But in high school.. people have all these weird notions of popularity, and fears of what people might say or think. In the real world those people disappear, because you leave them behind. <br />
<br />
I left H.S. and went to college, and again, I tried new organizations, and met an even more diverse people. I found more people who seemed like minded, and some who were not, but they at least respected my views as I did theirs. The key is to find those people you can relate to and communicate with without useless negative feedback, and in those people you will find friendships. Those will be the kind of friends that you can lean on when times are rough, and the kind you can take under your wing, when they are hurt. The key is to keep looking. <br />
<br />
One of the best ways to meet people is to do volunteer work. First, nobody ever complained at me being there, it was always great to have an extra set of hands. Second, almost always you meet new and interesting people, third mean people don't generally do volunteer work, and lastly you will have a hard time feeling bad about yourself knowing you did something to help someone else. <br />
<br />
You have to try and find yourself, what do you like, what interests you, and it's not going to be easy. Just cuz you like something doesn't mean you'll be good at it, or you might find that your great at something you hate. You can spend an eternity wishing you were good at something, or you can go out and at least learn what your not good at. Life will happen on the way, and you will find friends. <br />
<br />
Life is easy for a very few people in this world. The hardness of it is what makes us stronger, and strive to be better. So go be strong. And don't sweat the boyfriend/girlfriend thing. Don't sweat H.S. And I went to two proms, and they both stunk. Get busy finding you. Get busy living. You'll find your stronger than you think.

Dear "I Have No Friends,"<br />
<br />
First, believe that things will get better. I am verrrrrrry old (75) man, but I still remember that I was very shy in high school, but now I just laugh when I think how important that seemed then, but isn't at all important now. I did not go to my high school prom and actually told my parents I was meeting friends that night, but just drove around for a few hours and then came home.<br />
<br />
My help came when I discovered journalism. I liked to write and a teacher encouraged me to take journalism courses. I finally got on the school paper and other students there became my friends, but that didn't happen overnight. It took time. My advice: find something you're good at and that you really like and focus on that. You'll soon find others who share your passion and they will become at least acquaintances and then hopefully friends. You can build on this.<br />
<br />
The best thing to always remember: you're not alone.

1.) About the 'smelly' part. I know this may sound odd but, if you think that other people(your family excluded) act like you must smell odd, then maybe you could try wearing a different deodorant or maybe try a bit of perfume. Maybe they just don't like the scent of your current deodorant.<br />
2.) Prom - it is definitely just something that most girls look forward to, where they get all dressed up and get their hair and nails and make-up done up really special(and it's usually pretty expensive to do). All they while, they're just HOPING that the guy of their dreams is gonna come and ask them to be his date to the prom. It's not really that big of a deal. I have known many girls that didn't go to prom, just because they don't really care to get all dressed up and they didn't really see prom as that important in their lives.<br />
3.) Graduation - I'm not sure how your school may do things, but I know that at my school and other schools who's graduation ceremonies I have been to, the graduating students wore a nice dress(for girls, but nothing TOO fancy, just a nice Sunday dress), and of course a nice outfit for guys(like dress pants, dress shirt and maybe a tie). This may not be how your school has done things in the past, but it's all that I've seen in the past. My best advice on that subject would be to ask someone at the school, maybe the secretary or a professor that you know you can talk to. <br />
Hope this helps! :)

I was very shy too, especially in high school. I remember eating my lunch every day all alone, reading the New York Daily News Sports Section while I ate, seldom looking up or around. The teen years can be difficult years, but as you get older and accept yourself for who you are, things will get better. As for friends, most of the people we call "friends" are nothing more than acquaintances. Real friends are people who pick the phone to call and check on you when they don't hear from you for days. Acquaintances are people who smile in your face in person, but really don't care for or about you. Learn to distinguish between the two. And surround yourself with positive people who appreciate you for who you are and care about you -- you don't have to hang onto anyone who has no value in your life. <br />
I'm sure you're a very attractive person, but until you start telling yourself that and believing it in your heart, nothing else anyone else says or feels matters. It's up to you to recognize your value! So stop getting down on yourself, pick your chin up and believe that you have a lot to offer the world, BECAUSE YOU DO!<br />
<br />
God Bless,<br />
<br />
Your Friend in New York City

Hey :) advise from your new friend here! Try changing the perception of yourself and you will see things will start to turn around. If your family and friends say you don't smell bad then you don't so don't worry about that any more... Try to get to know yourself like what's your favorite foods, movies, music, etc. Maybe besides your studies you can join an after school activity ( something you may be good at so you can have a group to start connecting to). Remember this; people fear rejection or things we don't understand. But if you understand yourself it may be easier for others to relate to U (about the prom thing I think if u don't wanna go then don't... If U feel that deep in your heart u don't wanna miss out then dress up pretty and be Cinderella cause it's up to U when U wanna start living )

Hello,<br />
I was like you--no friends in high school. It took years to find out that I had Asperger's, a high-level functioning autism spectrum brain (I REFUSE to call it a "disorder"--I would not have it any other way).<br />
Us "Aspies" march to "a different drummer".<br />
My home life was such as yours--tolerated by family members and that was it.<br />
Social interaction can be very awkward because in general "Aspies" cannot interpret visual social "cues" although response to visual cues can be learned.<br />
Aspies are generally adept in the arts and sciences, music, and other difficult (for "neurotypicals") <br />
endeavors.<br />
I am adept in the physical sciences and can play ANY musical instrument and have never had a lesson.<br />
If you would like to talk: mvsicmn55@yahoo.com<br />
I wish you the best--Aspie or not--be yourself--you are beautiful

ican understand how you feel,i am much older then you . i was in similer satution when iwas your age and i am now (?)and still alone atleast you have family,i dont have a soul as i am ophan, people have said to me that i am very actrive with beautful eyes haa" window of soul so why they can't see that i long to be wanted, loved,hugged and made special i dont think but theres always hope:you are still young and loved that matters most your family they will always be there 4 you so always smile and love yourself first. i am trying everyday

I had many friends when I was younger, but as time moved along I discovered that those friends in truth were nothing more than aqauntances, I also learned that I was unable to find friends so I just stopped looking, after a awhile people noticed me for who I was and friends appeared . Out of all my aquantences and friends I have just two who are real friends and that a good score believe me friends cannot b found they appar when you just be yourself, aothers will notice you and some will learn to respect you and in turn like you , <br />
Hope this is helpfull,

Thanks so much for replying! I can now get a load off my back about the prom thing, I was getting really worried.<br />
<br />
@helenback I have parents and a younger brother, I use to have a older brother, but he died of a heart-attack when he was 17. He was the only one I got along with. He was always so kind and generous and happy. <br />
<br />
I wouldn't say that I get along well with the rest of my family, we aren't close but they don't treat me like crap, except my little brother. I don't have a strong relationship with any of my family members. My parents just provide the things I need, and that's about all. They don't talk to me or anything, they are always busy with work or doing their own things.

it makes me so sad to read ur story. I aslo had no friends through school. Im 36 now and nothing has changed. :( Do u get along well with ur family? u did mention them in ur story, but only briefly. I was never close to my family, they treated me like crap. my brothers, sister and mother would do and say hurtful things to me everyday. I know that made me feel awkward through school and life. because after all...if my own family didnt like me, my own mother treated me like garbage...who else would want me in thier lives?? I have seen a therapist, I am working through it slowly. I know now that i was holding ppl at arms length on purpose, because i dont trust anyone. I didnt even realise i was doing it at the time...but I can c it now.<br />
duz any of this sound helpful? u might be holding ppl back without knowing it! stop thinking that u smell! I'm sure u dont. ( i thought ppl hated me 'cause i was too ugly! lol, its funny what ur head can convince u of) You really need to change those "tapes" u play urself everyday. start telling urself that u are beautiful, confident and NOT smelly. u will over time believe it. <br />
as for scool friends...pffft. I dont know anyone who stayed friends with ppl they knew at school. I believe ur life will be full of friends when u leave school and start work. focus on the big picture darlin girl. school is such a small part of ur life, but if u let if, it can shape u forever.<br />
<br />
as for ur prom...dont stress, it really is over rated. ur not missing out on anything.<br />
<br />
take care hun. im here if u want/need to chat.

You will get through this, don't worry. To answer your q: prom is a dance/ party that is totally separate from your graduation ceremony. You can skip the prom if you want. Most people obsess over who will ask them, what to wear, how late to stay out, etc. But rarely does the event live up to the hype. Go if you want, otherwise be glad you don't have the pressure.<br />
<br />
As for friends, things do change senior year. Be open to the idea that someone may want to study with you, and allow it. But if not, hs will be over soon, and it will not matter.