Friends Betray...

I've only ever experienced betrayal from friends, so I choose to no longer have any, and I'm happier that way.  My best friend slept with, and got pregnant by, my husband.  That was the last straw.  Because she wasn't the first.  I'd lost boyfriends to "friends" multiple times over the years.  I couldn't do it anymore.  So I'm a loner now, and I have so much less to worry about.
aranarose aranarose
186 Responses Dec 4, 2010

Hi! I really admire your takes lot of courage to decide to be a loner..<br />
I think that everybody has the right to spend life as they see fit... but not if that hurts somebody else..<br />
And i'm still shocked by the amount of people who are remorseless in doing what they please without looking back at the victims they've made..<br />
I can't start undertanding how you feel and i'm sorry somebody hurt you so but i really admire your strength of will! If you want to rant about somebody or just plain complain i'm hear to listen!:)

you wanne have a lol every day add me on facebook <br />
I post stupid stuff everyday <br />
<br />
Rinoa Solo

I'm sorry to hear that. If it makes you feel any better, you are not alone. <br />
I have been betrayed by two of my 'friends' before. The first one and I both loved the same girl, and she played with our minds so we both thought she loved us. And one day my friend just start having a go at me and swearing at me, saying that he cared about her. After that we didn't talk for five months. Luckily, we're friends again; and we are best of friends.<br />
But the other one was worse. After the girl me and the first 'friend' fancied left our school, the other guy just start creating false rumours about me - I think just because he fancied two of my best friends (at the same time) and he didn't want me hanging out with them anymore. And it worked. I haven't hung out with them since, and the 'friend' continues to regularly cyber bully me at certain times. People believed the rumours he created, and I have never felt so betrayed. But it showed me who my true friends are. <br />
I'm sure you do have friends; and I know that I'll be your friends. These experiences can only make us stronger.

there are some good friends and ppl out there, don't lose hope D:

It is so true that a friend who betrays you is no friend. But this only means, that they were not friends to begin with. Seek out only people who can accept you for who you are, do for you with out asking you to do for them, listens to the words you say, shares in the same morality that you do. All else are just out for something you can give them. And yes, there are a lot of those out there.

it really hurts if someone whom we loved and trusted betray us. This things also happened to me. I was almost out of my mind because of the pain I felt. I lost a friend, I lost a husband. I turned my back and started new life,telling myself... I will survive..Cheer up.. there would be more beautiful things ahead of you can happen

Story of my life. Granted I'm only 18. But still, I completely understand. I have lost almost every friend I've had because they all betrayed me. I keep trying to find new friends but I can't. But I don't understand how it's possible to be happy without friends. It just doesn't make sense.

there really ant true friends out there in the world but ya self i my self age 21 have experienced the same thing and dont have any friends but my lil boy and im a guy so well gues thats it just keep doing what ya doing ya will find your true friend one day k.


I feel like I have been like you my whole life even as a little girl. I still long for friendships though. If you ever want to talk, please contact me. I am at<br />
God bless you and yours, hon.<br />

I feel ya. I feel like i am always betrayed by my friends too so i don't have many though i wish i had more because it would be nice to have people there for you and to hang out with. However, you have every right to be mad because what your friend did was horrible! but you shouldnt shut yourself out from everyone because not all people are gonna end up being like that.

I feel ya. I feel like i am always betrayed by my friends too so i don't have many though i wish i had more because it would be nice to have people there for you and to hang out with. However, you have every right to be mad because what your friend did was horrible! but you shouldnt shut yourself out from everyone because not all people are gonna end up being like that.

Seems like alot of us out here are like that. But, God didn't make us to be loners and this gets to be a really lonely old world without someone to talk to and share. I totally understand though, really I do. I hope you find peace within yourself. God bless you all! Cindy

P.S. Aranarose, your husband was a JERK for doing that to you! You are better off without him!<br />

yeah,that hurts. me too, my best friend betrayed me,so how can i possibly trust any one? i shared my whole life with her,treated her like a sister didn't think that she envy me. now, im anti-social and guarded. very vigilant and cautious when it comes on choosing a friend. i miss her but i wont take the risk to be with her again..

yeah,that hurts. me too, my best friend betrayed me,so how can i possibly trust any one? i shared my whole life with her,treated her like a sister didn't think that she envy me. now, im anti-social and guarded. very vigilant and cautious when it comes on choosing a friend. i miss her but i wont take the risk to be with her again..

aaaw ... sorry hun. People do suck sometimes :(

You can always offer friendship, except do not trust all the way, leave some room of caution. I experience some betrayals but I won't let these random cruelties rob me of my social world.<br />
grim and stern,<br />

That's horrifying. I have had few friends in my life by choice. I figured if I am not comfortable enough to let my guard down, then everyone will stay acquaintances to me. For this reason I have always only maintained 1-3 friends at most at any given time.

i have had many friends betray me too even at my age and i thought id just keep living my life no friends once to but then i relized that was not the answer being a loner and having no friends may seem less stressful but thats not true ask a scientist! you have to find the right person thats all find someone who will not betray you stay by you and help you with your problems!!it may take tome to find this person but in the end it will be worth it

a Friend will accept you for who you are...a "friend" will use you to their advantage

i hope you find what makes you happy, and i wish you the best

dont worry too much about friends. look for acquaintances with benefits! its much easier. emotional attachment is a bummer.

Sorry to hear that, ive had 1 girl in the past that got pregnant to another guy so i kind of know your pain to a degree. Sorry to hear it even still. *hugs*

i have had exactly the same thing happen to me and i left a large group of my friends because several of them slept with my boyfriends and girlfriends (i'm bisexual) but now i'm with a guy who means the world to me so i promise you it does get better

Hmmm maybe you just chose the wrong kind of friend...A true friend would NEVER even look sideways at your husband

I'm sorry for your pain. I have not had any luck myself in the friend area. People like that are simply trash. <br />
Take Care.

I have been betrayed as well..... And guess what I took the same decision as you did... Though it is a little tough being lonely (I mean you cannot tell how you feel to anyone but yourself) but I like it this way..... This world is filled with selfish people that we are the odd ones out now...<br />
If you ever need a person to listen to you, I am there.... :)<br />
Take care....

I hope by now things are mich brighter for you.. Lots of people feel as you do or did when you wrote ths and I sympathise with you so much. Animals are everything humans aren't. Wonderful, loyal, accepting, non-judgmental, love unconditionally, sensitive, devoted and just downright beautiful. No comparison really.... xx

Uhm? Lol that's not JUST betrayal from friends, that's betrayal from the guys you've been with as well..<br />
I mean, I just hope you're not only blaming your friends for what your husband and exs have done to you..

Betrayal is so devastating! The pain seems to last forever. It'll take time to get pass it and you will. You'll cry..and then cry some more. And that's okay. The tears help to wash away the residue of the pain. It's a time to grieve and God gave us the tears to help us thru it. I know how some minds work. I know people can be jealous of your success or how pretty you are. Here are some rules to dealing with girl friends: 1. Do not have friends over always meet them some where. 2. Do not brag about your husband or boyfriend. 3. Do not confide in the friend of problems btwn you two. In all 3 cases I have a story . #1 My sister bought a beautiful house. I told her "the people you work with do not invite them to your house. She did. She caught HELL at work. 1 friend was her supervisor and the other was a friend of the supervisor. She had to leave the job. #2 A girl on my job use to brag about her husband next thing I know she's getting a divorce her husband cheated on her with a friend. And #3 Another lady tells me she use to confide in her best friend and her best friend was telling her that her husband was cheating. That kept them arguing and as soon as she divorced her husband her best friend moved in with him.

I am sorry that you have experienced this. I have too. I look at you though as a very special soul. One so undeserving of betrayal and heart ache. I have to though continue to love others and reveal myself to very few. Revealing myself is actually my survival in this life. Giving love to myself first then sharing that with others...but very very few people. I have alot of friends and also, have 1 or 2 real friends. I understand that I can be betrayed at any time. And have been. I simply love my way out it for me. I am in this life for loving me because somewhere inside I know me is all I have. Loving myself enables me to move on and experience my life's journey.

I'm sorry for what you had to go through, with God prayers you will be OK, and sometimes we don't know why these things happen in our life but, it could be that God is going to send someone better for you in your life, you try to stay strong and with all our prayers you will be blessed they will be dirt under your feet. Be Strong cause they can not be you and they are going to get treated worse cause pay back can be a mother.....

sounds like you have a ****** choice in friends and men then lol. not saying there are a multitude of great people out there but someone in there should have cared enough for you to say " let's stop this now" . Ideally your husband or boyfriend but then again what the **** kind of bestfriend sleeps with her friends husband ? sounds like you played the ******* friend lottery and own several times .

1 thing i always say eveything happens for a reason . and stay detached bt still have company. u may not kno0w when u need them and increase ur self esteem girl. ur beautiful!

I am a loner too - because of the same. I find that women are really bad about betrayal also.

Ahh its so sad, my friends also left me, :( i can feel ur pain, coz i have also gone through it . its really worst , pls dont feel sad u can be my friend if u want as i too dont have any REAL friends, i m sure we can become good friends :)

I am so sorry for your troubles. Don't blame your self ever, no one deserves that. Stay strong and God Bless you.

You deserve so much better. I wish that I could give you the biggest hug right now! You're so strong and courageous for having to deal with this. You deserve better than anyone who would betray you, friend OR husband. I really hope that you can find someone who appreciates you the way you should be...even if it's not in a romantic way. You're a strong woman, who doesn't need some idiot of a husband to tell you that! Keep your chin up, and I hope that someone can come along and disprove what others have made you think. If you ever do need someone to talk to, though, I'm always available.I may not know you, but I care what happens to you. I hope everything works out, aranarose! :)

Yes, «friends» betray, «colleagues» stab you in the back, some members of your family stop talking to you, and your enemies do everything they can to convince you you shouldn't exist. It's called life. If everyone clammed up into their shells, the world would become an impossible place. Learning about life is learning about all its joys and also its other side, lies, treachery, hatred...Life. Still magnificent when it is.

Well my experience in life hasn't been as bad.. but I really have not let that many people into my circle. I have one real good friend now, other than my family. My friend and her parents really care about me and my wellbeing. She's not a girl friend, just a female friend.

My friends are all in my head...literally....

I am soo sorry! That Wud suck but actually it had happened a few times!!!

Please don't isolate yourself, because it will only have negative consequences. Not all people are jerks. Have friends but you set the boundaries and limits and don't tell them all your business. Volunteer at nursing homes, animal shelters, or any other places that interest you. Your contributions will make a difference in others' lives, and you too will be fulfilled. and you'll meet some nice folks. Get off your bottom and take positive action tomorrow. That's an order!

I'm still young. I have also experienced betrayal from friends. I now have some but they ignore me. They accuse me of being annoying. What do I do?

Right on =]

Being lonely sucks though I will agree some people can be utterly disgusting.

Sure, lovers and friends can turn against you, but I'm not sure closing yourself to human relationships is the best solution.

I'm sorry you had to go thru that. You are stronger than I am. I'm sure your scars are always hurting you even if you don't show it. I have been stabbed in the back by people who said the were my best friend. However in my case I found that it was my lack of confidence that actually let people do such horriable things to me. Now I'm not saying that is why things happened to you. Once I quit thinking negative thoughts about myself I could sometimes notice things about people I never noticed before. Still even to this day I trust someone who is no good. However now that I have a different view of things I can cut them off before they hurt me. I give them a chance, but if they start "takeing" more than "giving" they are not worth my time. I use to be a loner, wasn't good for me. I got some serious depression promblems. I guess I just don't want you to stop living life just cause some people don't know how good of a person they had in thier lives. It took me till the time I was in my early 20's to actually find some people who I could call a TRUE friend. Please live your life to the fullest. If people don't treat you right you will still get thru all the pain and hardship and live another day. You have a reason you are here. I will befriend anyone who wants someone even just to talk to. So you can add me to your circle as soon as your ready to take that step back into life.

I couldn't have said it better myself.<br />
Very well phrased.<br />
<br />
<br />
I really don't understand why people keep saying "I'll be your friend!" after you've made it absolutely crystal clear that you're happier without them.

Aranarose; I feel for you deeply and you can reach me anytime for a sympathetic ear. I've always gone by the postulate,-- "a friend is a present you give yourself" and in that a true friend cares as much for you as you do them and is always trying to do something to make you as happy as you try to do for them. That's how you know a TRUE friend. I have one life long true friend. We played together as kids and were always tripping over ourselves to do something for eachother. Now some 50 odd years later we are better than sisters because sisters fight and we truly never have. She had a stroke in the near passed and called me before her partner cuz I was the first person she thought of. That left me breathless.<br />
I sincerly hope you can find someone to be a true friend, It takes time but it's worth it. I'm an old gal but I've seen and been through a lot. My ear is here if you want it.

Girl I feel your pain. I am currently a loner myself. It's like they take your kindness for weakness. But, you are a strong person for being able to overcome the BS that was in your life. Just remember you are an awesome person. And, don't sweat the small stuff.

i am so sorry about you

I know that betrayal. It's awful having people cheat you, terrible having them lie to you, and horrendous having them just at random up and leave you. Yes...I know it far too well, and on a rather overtraumatizing level, it crushed me. So I can agree it's easier to be a loner, and easier to never speak to those you hate. (in my case, that's everyone) So all in all, I like your statement. Besides, the human race is a metaphor of disaster and petty dissagreements...too ignorant as it builds it's social trusts on pillars and foundations of sand and gravel. Eventually, like everything else on earth, we will fall to our defeat and be crushed by our own argumants and beliefs.<br />
<br />

It is such a shame that you feel you can trust no one. I often feel the same way as well. Are you okay with being a "loner", or does it disappoint you in the long run? Hope you will be okay. <3

bitterness in life is a part of being alive, don't make a shelter of painfull moments in you heart, just stay forward on how beautiful the life is

betrayal of a friends is not end of finding a new one. How could you say that you LOVE GOD when you have no friends to love for

Sometimes life is not easy to undertake,unleashed you understand the relation of death and life.And made some compromise to friends inorder to be near to GOD who gives you everything

Is anybody say they're alone, when they feel the painful story of their life? I think NO,it's a psychological presumptiom for every individual on how to deal with that matter that affects most to their life.JUST BE OPEN MINDED about the REALITY (THAT'S LIFE).

As long as your happy now.

I have very few female friends. Theres a reason why, because some women are catty and backstabbing and they will sleep with the man youre with given the slightest chance. The female friends I have, I watch like a hawk and the only one I trust is one old enough that I know she wouldnt go there.

Whitney Houston said it best: "I finally faced the fact that it isn't a crime not having friends. Being alone means you have fewer problems." Keep on trucking! GG

You could reverse the gender of the story and that's me too. One small change, my wife got pregnant to two different men during the marriage.

Me too :(

Hugs I be your friend

Less friends, less drama. Sometimes it's best to be alone.