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Friends Betray...

I've only ever experienced betrayal from friends, so I choose to no longer have any, and I'm happier that way.  My best friend slept with, and got pregnant by, my husband.  That was the last straw.  Because she wasn't the first.  I'd lost boyfriends to "friends" multiple times over the years.  I couldn't do it anymore.  So I'm a loner now, and I have so much less to worry about.
aranarose aranarose 31-35 192 Responses Dec 4, 2010

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sounds like you've befriended some ****** up people. dont blame everyone for their mistakes.

i cn understand ur situation.. bt its also true dat i cnt feel exactly wat u feel in ur ds situationn//. i m just 20 years old n wat i ve learnt frm lyf n ppl around me is dat ppl use u to fulfil their needs... there is scarcely anybody who will think better of u n dan u urslf... i ve been hurt n left alone so mny tyms... anyways... thats smthng else...<br />
i just wnt to tell u dat just keep urslf bzy... in anyway u think off.... dats d best remedy.... tc

If she did that, it means she is not your friend really. And if your husband could do that with your "friend", it means it is right for you to leave him.. Both of them are cheap.

There are lots of times I feel the same way. I have to admit though, sometimes I do feel a bit lonely. I have a couple friends that I know I can count on.. but I am very very cautious about letting anyone new into my life..other than on a surface level. I'm so sorry you've went through all of that. that is the worst betrayal.

sometimes in life its better to be on your own u got noone telling you what to do or what your doing wrong just enjoy what you are and what you got theres someone for everyone out there wether its a partner or a friend even if u dont ever find them in life u will when you die and i believe that the less you look the more chance you wil find them good luck xx

The same thing happened to me, except it was my sister that got pregnant by my husband. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. I've been with my soul mate for 12 years now and we are happier and more in love now than when we first got together. If my ex hadn't of been such a **** I would've never met the man of my dreams.

It makes perfect sense to wanna be guarded and "closed" as far as friends go after painful ordeals that your ex and ex best friend did. But, in the end complete loneliness and isolation from people can be somewhat damaging to a person as well. <br />
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These people in the past who have hurt you are very selfish, cruel, and mean it sounds like. But, it's import to keep the faith that there are a lot of good, decent people with good on the inside out there too that don't turn into snakes. So, I bet you'll find people like that. I pray you do..: )

i dont always like being alone...but i find it easier

oh my no no no no no no no....i know you posted this a while ago, and i hope that you are fine, but no honey no..oh my god that should never happen to anyone, even if you think you deserve it.<br />
can i be completely honest with you? i used to think that fat and chubby women could do better for themselves, the ones that have low self esteem i mean. i used to say in my head when i saw one dressed like a **** to put it away and hit the gym. it was only when one of my best friends, an ex also, showed me what it was like. even though he was extreemley over weight, and i was even worried about his health, i loved him to death..i truly did. we would have gotten married, but i had to move away. what im saying is i think you are so beautiful, not because I AM TRYING TO MAKE U FEEL BETTER BLAH BLAH BLAH, but because you truly are in my eyes, and just are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hope you are okay honnie.

I had a best friend once. She and I were friends 4 years until she stole a boyfriend from me. So I know what it's like 2 be jilted by the ones u r closest 2. Sometimes I think it would be easier 2 have no friends but if that were 2 happen, who would u confide in when u need a listening ear? Who could u share your joys with when something goes right in your life? My sister is a loner. She has a husband and two kids but absolutely no friends. She's content with her life I suppose but if your going 2 spend your life completely alone and friendless, be prepared 4 the loneliness that comes attached 2 it. I have been jilted by so many friends but it didn't discourage me from making new ones. I accept friends with my eyes open, aways aware of what goes on around me. Good luck in whatever u decided and I'm sorry about what happend with your friend and your husband. I hope u find someone u can trust.

i thought you needed friemds

dont worry. You'll find a awesome friend someday! :)

Cheaters cheat. That is what they do. Soon they will cheat on each other because the thrilln of the secret is gone from their 'relationship'. I feel for the baby. <br />
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I have also chosen a lonelier path having been such a doormat to those that I thought were friends. Take care.

Welcome to the club of Loners<br />
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Some people have to be loners because as spiritual beings we got to learn all the shades of the Soul, all the reasons causes effects links interactions shadows lights ...whatever is making the Soul to be what it is what it was what it will become.<br />
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Yes it is very painful. I am a loner myself. Women betrayed me all my life. Not because of my beauty not because of my intelligence but because of a blending of all my defects or qualities. That blending made me someone very different, very unusual as some past friend put it. <br />
Another told me people tried to hurt me because I was a fortress in the middle of the sea. This person who told me that was a very gorgeous girl. I was not. I was and still am very sweet but terribly firm although accepting any difference in others. as long as there is no cheating, no lie and no cruelty, no fakeness, most unacceptable to me, I accept any other condition.<br />
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I dont care one person has the same jacket for one year as long as she is clean.<br />
I dont care the social status or the religion as long as religion means respectful manners<br />
i met atheistic friends most wonderful <br />
I met religious friends wonderful but who betrayed me <br />
I met religious persons showing intolerant to my religious ways which were too "free". I hate dogmas I cannot correct with my own perceptions or thoughts.<br />
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So dont you worry because one true friend is better than a million bad friends.<br />
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I had wonderful friends in the past. Life made us live in different places and the ones I saw years later had lost the most basic quality i never lost : the child within. <br />
and to loose the child inside makes people's minds shrink at high speed. <br />
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if one can feel the same simple joy each time or the same sadness each time like it was the first time, then the person will never become a Routine. A Habit. that is what kills Life. Routine of the heart. <br />
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If you feel so much betrayed, remember Joan of Arc used to cry because she felt the same too. She never killed anyone but she found betrayals terrible to endure. I feel the same too.<br />
Christ was betrayed by Peter and by His own people. because usually, the betrayed person can look too "strong" inside. That makes others irritated to see someone can be that invincible.<br />
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Children are betrayed each second of the day. Murdered, raped, lied to, tortured, soiled, damaged, all the planet. <br />
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why? because babies or young children represent what people lost forever. Therefore the perversion is that people cannot stand facing innocence after they lost theirs.<br />
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You see, betrayals are a sign of weakness, immaturity, selfishness, revenge, confusion, lack of intelligence, lack of respect,. It is about Ignorance. <br />
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Nothing is more terrible than being surrounded by people who dont let you be on your own.<br />
Promiscuity is the most terrible Loneliness ever. it is when one cannot escape from others to be free with own nature and mind.<br />
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Forget it all and you will see you will meet your best friend some day.

So be it, show the hail to the hail. Hmm..i like your view.

So be it, show the hail to the hail. Hmm..i liked your view.

Awwh :( Im soooo sorry!!<br />
Good luck in whatever you choose to do!!<br />
You'll find a good guy, don't worry :)

I believe when we each go home at the end of the day we realize we're all alone in this world for life if you really take a look at it. One mind, one conscience. I'm glad I'm not the only one, cheers!

I would love to be ur friend.. u seem like a really nice person:)

You probably are like me and befriend anybody. I've been betrayed too. I still have friends I'm just learning that I should be a bit more selective in who I choose to associate with. I mean it seems you just surrounded yourself with the wrong types of people. There are good people still. They may be few and far between but they're out there. I totally understand your fear of being hurt again but really nobody wants to be alone nor should they be. Everyone needs a friend. Someone to talk to when they're down. Someone to laugh with. Well, if you ever feel you need a friend you can look me up. I'll be here if you want to talk.

although you have much reason to, dont give up on EVERYONE, believe it or not there are still a few people out there that can be trusted.

Quick story for you.<br />
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My best friend is a lovely young lady. She has a lot of dreams and ambitions, and she finds friends in all places- work, college, professors even. The people she befriends are very far off from the people I choose to spend my time with. I do love helping people, and appreciate the good qualities in everyone- but I do not closely befriend many, and when I do, I still hold back.<br />
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To those I let close, I give them all of my effort, but maintain my own self. I do things alone- music is my long time friend, one of my only ones. You know, I once befriended a girl who I lent a book on Christianity to. She stole it and defriended me on Facebook. That was quite an odd situation for me. <br />
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People often think that others are more selfishly motivated than they are. amd less helpful. Yet this is just our natural defense at work- we have our own sins that we must account for.<br />
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Back to my best friend. She is very, very often betrayed, for she looks past some things in people that I tend to catch. Heck, my first relationship, she thought I would abandon her, since she was just raised in a much less loving home, often alone and deserted, betrayed by even her parents. But I never left, and proved to her that she would always be my friend. Every other friend she has had has betrayed her- and I see it coming. It's very sad, because I feel like I can prevent it, but I know that she will choose people to hang out with that will do her wrong. It is all she knows, all she can do, and who I befriend is all I can do- I'm picky, but people will always get through your defenses, no matter how good you think your selection is.<br />
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The thing about letting anyone, friends or family, close to you is that they will have the opportunity to be so close that they can stab you in the back in the bl<x>ink of an eye. But see, that is the right. It's a powerful risk and hurts when people utilize it, but it is NOT a given. Not everyone you meet has ill intentions towards you, and you have to let some people close to be completely happy.<br />
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We are social creatures, and we need the company of others in order to thrive. Even our physical health depends upon it- those who have even a tight knit social circle find that they get sick less, are better supported through problems and therefore grieve and work through problems healtthily. <br />
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People have a lot to offer to us- they broaden our experience, they comfort us, they are our strength. And they can be our pain. But in spite of possible and sometimes inevitable pain, we are not made to function without them. It is very easy to think otherwise when we are hurt, when we are kicked down again and again. But you have to believe this- not everyone is out to get you, and there are people that though flawed, have your best interests at heart. In turn, YOU have someone else's best interests at heart, and the more you allow that trust to grow, the more often you may recieve it, and have people still to help you when others do hurt you.<br />
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It'd like for you to believe that things are better than they seem- I doubt that it's possible for you to be reading this and automatically say, "Wow, she's right!" but I write it irregardless of the outcome, in hope that even part of it helps you. Because whenever I see someone with that lack of trust in others, it eats at something in me, and I am called to action.<br />
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Take care, have a great day- I wish better days upon you.

Im with you sister( anarose), people are evil. You'll break your soul for them, and the firdt opportunity they get. The stab you in the back!!I dont keep friends anymore either for the same reason. My first fiance left me for a girl he met through me. She was horrible to!! No justice.

I haven't had any women friends for years. They are catty...I prefer men as friends, they are usually straight up, no BS.

Too ad, but this is life,easy .just you do not take it to yours mind,keep busy yours mind to others things

It's guys like that; that give guys like us a bad name!

Someone taught me something when I was 18 years old, that was very useful to me in life. He said, "Everyone is an *******." The problem is that we expect that some people will not be ********, but they all are. Which I guess means, I am one too, and I would certainly agree that I have bee one at times.<br />
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The point is, if you start with that cynical point of view, you are more prepared to deal with reality of life. Don't expect that because someone is your "friend" they wil not be an *******. <br />
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If you are lucky, you may find one or two people in the course of your life who are true friends, and hopefully you will have some in your family you can rely upon. <br />
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Time and again, I have encountered people who are great friends when they need something, and having been there for them in their hour of need, I expected reciprocation, only to find that when the tables are turned, they are busy and have nothing to offer.<br />
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That said, I have found one friend so far who has never disappointed me. He is quick to offer me the use of his car when mine had a problem, come pick me up at the airport, and has always been honest in our financial dealings. He is the exception that proves the rule, so to those who say they have no friends, I suggest they amend this by adding "yet" to the end of that statement.<br />
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Be a friend to others, just don't expect reciprocation, because it may not happen. Probably won't in most cases. <br />
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There are good people out there and you can find a friend. As with hunting for a mate, you will have to kiss a few frogs to find your prince, and before you find a true friend, you will encounter many acquantances who are nothing but ********. That's life.<br />
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Then again, the other thing my long ago mentor told me was "Live a carrot life, die a carrot death", so maybe he was just a lunatic . . . or maybe I just haven't yet come to understand the carrot profundity.

It's okay just remember, it's not your fault they're a jack***

Love you have faced bretrayal at its worst,bt if you look deep enough there is always light at the end of the one deserves to grow old always hava a choice to take the broken pieces of your heart and built a wall or a bridge.there are also true freinds out there who are willing to put there lives on the line for you.i hope and pray that God who knows you by name ,who sees every pain you have been through gives you every heart desire

I think this may just be due to the fact you chilled with some shady ppl, and honestly women in general are shady ppl they hardly ever know what they want, constantly changing there mind and when it comes to things like weighing out ohhh idk maybe thats her husband and i have known her for years and years and she has never screwed me over but on the other hand damn her husbands hot, she going to fck your husband and say thank you for the leftovers.