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Friends Betray...

I've only ever experienced betrayal from friends, so I choose to no longer have any, and I'm happier that way.  My best friend slept with, and got pregnant by, my husband.  That was the last straw.  Because she wasn't the first.  I'd lost boyfriends to "friends" multiple times over the years.  I couldn't do it anymore.  So I'm a loner now, and I have so much less to worry about.
aranarose aranarose 31-35 191 Responses Dec 4, 2010

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sounds like you've befriended some ****** up people. dont blame everyone for their mistakes.

i cn understand ur situation.. bt its also true dat i cnt feel exactly wat u feel in ur ds situationn//. i m just 20 years old n wat i ve learnt frm lyf n ppl around me is dat ppl use u to fulfil their needs... there is scarcely anybody who will think better of u n dan u urslf... i ve been hurt n left alone so mny tyms... anyways... thats smthng else...<br />
i just wnt to tell u dat just keep urslf bzy... in anyway u think off.... dats d best remedy.... tc

If she did that, it means she is not your friend really. And if your husband could do that with your "friend", it means it is right for you to leave him.. Both of them are cheap.

There are lots of times I feel the same way. I have to admit though, sometimes I do feel a bit lonely. I have a couple friends that I know I can count on.. but I am very very cautious about letting anyone new into my life..other than on a surface level. I'm so sorry you've went through all of that. that is the worst betrayal.

sometimes in life its better to be on your own u got noone telling you what to do or what your doing wrong just enjoy what you are and what you got theres someone for everyone out there wether its a partner or a friend even if u dont ever find them in life u will when you die and i believe that the less you look the more chance you wil find them good luck xx

The same thing happened to me, except it was my sister that got pregnant by my husband. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. I've been with my soul mate for 12 years now and we are happier and more in love now than when we first got together. If my ex hadn't of been such a **** I would've never met the man of my dreams.

It makes perfect sense to wanna be guarded and "closed" as far as friends go after painful ordeals that your ex and ex best friend did. But, in the end complete loneliness and isolation from people can be somewhat damaging to a person as well. <br />
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These people in the past who have hurt you are very selfish, cruel, and mean it sounds like. But, it's import to keep the faith that there are a lot of good, decent people with good on the inside out there too that don't turn into snakes. So, I bet you'll find people like that. I pray you do..: )

i dont always like being alone...but i find it easier

oh my no no no no no no no....i know you posted this a while ago, and i hope that you are fine, but no honey no..oh my god that should never happen to anyone, even if you think you deserve it.<br />
can i be completely honest with you? i used to think that fat and chubby women could do better for themselves, the ones that have low self esteem i mean. i used to say in my head when i saw one dressed like a **** to put it away and hit the gym. it was only when one of my best friends, an ex also, showed me what it was like. even though he was extreemley over weight, and i was even worried about his health, i loved him to death..i truly did. we would have gotten married, but i had to move away. what im saying is i think you are so beautiful, not because I AM TRYING TO MAKE U FEEL BETTER BLAH BLAH BLAH, but because you truly are in my eyes, and you...you just are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hope you are okay honnie.

I had a best friend once. She and I were friends 4 years until she stole a boyfriend from me. So I know what it's like 2 be jilted by the ones u r closest 2. Sometimes I think it would be easier 2 have no friends but if that were 2 happen, who would u confide in when u need a listening ear? Who could u share your joys with when something goes right in your life? My sister is a loner. She has a husband and two kids but absolutely no friends. She's content with her life I suppose but if your going 2 spend your life completely alone and friendless, be prepared 4 the loneliness that comes attached 2 it. I have been jilted by so many friends but it didn't discourage me from making new ones. I accept friends with my eyes open, aways aware of what goes on around me. Good luck in whatever u decided and I'm sorry about what happend with your friend and your husband. I hope u find someone u can trust.

i thought you needed friemds

Cheaters cheat. That is what they do. Soon they will cheat on each other because the thrilln of the secret is gone from their 'relationship'. I feel for the baby. <br />
<br />
I have also chosen a lonelier path having been such a doormat to those that I thought were friends. Take care.

Welcome to the club of Loners<br />
<br />
Some people have to be loners because as spiritual beings we got to learn all the shades of the Soul, all the reasons causes effects links interactions shadows lights ...whatever is making the Soul to be what it is what it was what it will become.<br />
<br />
Yes it is very painful. I am a loner myself. Women betrayed me all my life. Not because of my beauty not because of my intelligence but because of a blending of all my defects or qualities. That blending made me someone very different, very unusual as some past friend put it. <br />
Another told me people tried to hurt me because I was a fortress in the middle of the sea. This person who told me that was a very gorgeous girl. I was not. I was and still am very sweet but terribly firm although accepting any difference in others. as long as there is no cheating, no lie and no cruelty, no fakeness, most unacceptable to me, I accept any other condition.<br />
<br />
I dont care one person has the same jacket for one year as long as she is clean.<br />
I dont care the social status or the religion as long as religion means respectful manners<br />
i met atheistic friends most wonderful <br />
I met religious friends wonderful but who betrayed me <br />
I met religious persons showing intolerant to my religious ways which were too "free". I hate dogmas I cannot correct with my own perceptions or thoughts.<br />
<br />
So dont you worry because one true friend is better than a million bad friends.<br />
<br />
I had wonderful friends in the past. Life made us live in different places and the ones I saw years later had lost the most basic quality i never lost : the child within. <br />
and to loose the child inside makes people's minds shrink at high speed. <br />
<br />
if one can feel the same simple joy each time or the same sadness each time like it was the first time, then the person will never become a Routine. A Habit. that is what kills Life. Routine of the heart. <br />
<br />
If you feel so much betrayed, remember Joan of Arc used to cry because she felt the same too. She never killed anyone but she found betrayals terrible to endure. I feel the same too.<br />
Christ was betrayed by Peter and by His own people. because usually, the betrayed person can look too "strong" inside. That makes others irritated to see someone can be that invincible.<br />
<br />
Children are betrayed each second of the day. Murdered, raped, lied to, tortured, soiled, damaged, abandonned..in all the planet. <br />
<br />
why? because babies or young children represent what people lost forever. Therefore the perversion is that people cannot stand facing innocence after they lost theirs.<br />
<br />
You see, betrayals are a sign of weakness, immaturity, selfishness, revenge, confusion, lack of intelligence, lack of respect,. It is about Ignorance. <br />
<br />
Nothing is more terrible than being surrounded by people who dont let you be on your own.<br />
Promiscuity is the most terrible Loneliness ever. it is when one cannot escape from others to be free with own nature and mind.<br />
<br />
Forget it all and you will see you will meet your best friend some day.

So be it, show the hail to the hail. Hmm..i like your view.

So be it, show the hail to the hail. Hmm..i liked your view.

Awwh :( Im soooo sorry!!<br />
Good luck in whatever you choose to do!!<br />
You'll find a good guy, don't worry :)

I believe when we each go home at the end of the day we realize we're all alone in this world for life if you really take a look at it. One mind, one conscience. I'm glad I'm not the only one, cheers!

I would love to be ur friend.. u seem like a really nice person:)

You probably are like me and befriend anybody. I've been betrayed too. I still have friends I'm just learning that I should be a bit more selective in who I choose to associate with. I mean it seems you just surrounded yourself with the wrong types of people. There are good people still. They may be few and far between but they're out there. I totally understand your fear of being hurt again but really nobody wants to be alone nor should they be. Everyone needs a friend. Someone to talk to when they're down. Someone to laugh with. Well, if you ever feel you need a friend you can look me up. I'll be here if you want to talk.

although you have much reason to, dont give up on EVERYONE, believe it or not there are still a few people out there that can be trusted.

Quick story for you.<br />
<br />
My best friend is a lovely young lady. She has a lot of dreams and ambitions, and she finds friends in all places- work, college, professors even. The people she befriends are very far off from the people I choose to spend my time with. I do love helping people, and appreciate the good qualities in everyone- but I do not closely befriend many, and when I do, I still hold back.<br />
<br />
To those I let close, I give them all of my effort, but maintain my own self. I do things alone- music is my long time friend, one of my only ones. You know, I once befriended a girl who I lent a book on Christianity to. She stole it and defriended me on Facebook. That was quite an odd situation for me. <br />
<br />
People often think that others are more selfishly motivated than they are. amd less helpful. Yet this is just our natural defense at work- we have our own sins that we must account for.<br />
<br />
Back to my best friend. She is very, very often betrayed, for she looks past some things in people that I tend to catch. Heck, my first relationship, she thought I would abandon her, since she was just raised in a much less loving home, often alone and deserted, betrayed by even her parents. But I never left, and proved to her that she would always be my friend. Every other friend she has had has betrayed her- and I see it coming. It's very sad, because I feel like I can prevent it, but I know that she will choose people to hang out with that will do her wrong. It is all she knows, all she can do, and who I befriend is all I can do- I'm picky, but people will always get through your defenses, no matter how good you think your selection is.<br />
<br />
The thing about letting anyone, friends or family, close to you is that they will have the opportunity to be so close that they can stab you in the back in the bl<x>ink of an eye. But see, that is the right. It's a powerful risk and hurts when people utilize it, but it is NOT a given. Not everyone you meet has ill intentions towards you, and you have to let some people close to be completely happy.<br />
<br />
We are social creatures, and we need the company of others in order to thrive. Even our physical health depends upon it- those who have even a tight knit social circle find that they get sick less, are better supported through problems and therefore grieve and work through problems healtthily. <br />
<br />
People have a lot to offer to us- they broaden our experience, they comfort us, they are our strength. And they can be our pain. But in spite of possible and sometimes inevitable pain, we are not made to function without them. It is very easy to think otherwise when we are hurt, when we are kicked down again and again. But you have to believe this- not everyone is out to get you, and there are people that though flawed, have your best interests at heart. In turn, YOU have someone else's best interests at heart, and the more you allow that trust to grow, the more often you may recieve it, and have people still to help you when others do hurt you.<br />
<br />
It'd like for you to believe that things are better than they seem- I doubt that it's possible for you to be reading this and automatically say, "Wow, she's right!" but I write it irregardless of the outcome, in hope that even part of it helps you. Because whenever I see someone with that lack of trust in others, it eats at something in me, and I am called to action.<br />
<br />
Take care, have a great day- I wish better days upon you.

Im with you sister( anarose), people are evil. You'll break your soul for them, and the firdt opportunity they get. The stab you in the back!!I dont keep friends anymore either for the same reason. My first fiance left me for a girl he met through me. She was horrible to!! No justice.

I haven't had any women friends for years. They are catty...I prefer men as friends, they are usually straight up, no BS.

Too ad, but this is life,easy .just you do not take it to yours mind,keep busy yours mind to others things

It's guys like that; that give guys like us a bad name!

Someone taught me something when I was 18 years old, that was very useful to me in life. He said, "Everyone is an *******." The problem is that we expect that some people will not be ********, but they all are. Which I guess means, I am one too, and I would certainly agree that I have bee one at times.<br />
<br />
The point is, if you start with that cynical point of view, you are more prepared to deal with reality of life. Don't expect that because someone is your "friend" they wil not be an *******. <br />
<br />
If you are lucky, you may find one or two people in the course of your life who are true friends, and hopefully you will have some in your family you can rely upon. <br />
<br />
Time and again, I have encountered people who are great friends when they need something, and having been there for them in their hour of need, I expected reciprocation, only to find that when the tables are turned, they are busy and have nothing to offer.<br />
<br />
That said, I have found one friend so far who has never disappointed me. He is quick to offer me the use of his car when mine had a problem, come pick me up at the airport, and has always been honest in our financial dealings. He is the exception that proves the rule, so to those who say they have no friends, I suggest they amend this by adding "yet" to the end of that statement.<br />
<br />
Be a friend to others, just don't expect reciprocation, because it may not happen. Probably won't in most cases. <br />
<br />
There are good people out there and you can find a friend. As with hunting for a mate, you will have to kiss a few frogs to find your prince, and before you find a true friend, you will encounter many acquantances who are nothing but ********. That's life.<br />
<br />
Then again, the other thing my long ago mentor told me was "Live a carrot life, die a carrot death", so maybe he was just a lunatic . . . or maybe I just haven't yet come to understand the carrot profundity.

It's okay just remember, it's not your fault they're a jack***

Love you have faced bretrayal at its worst,bt if you look deep enough there is always light at the end of the turnnel.no one deserves to grow old alone.you always hava a choice to take the broken pieces of your heart and built a wall or a bridge.there are also true freinds out there who are willing to put there lives on the line for you.i hope and pray that God who knows you by name ,who sees every pain you have been through gives you every heart desire

I think this may just be due to the fact you chilled with some shady ppl, and honestly women in general are shady ppl they hardly ever know what they want, constantly changing there mind and when it comes to things like weighing out ohhh idk maybe thats her husband and i have known her for years and years and she has never screwed me over but on the other hand damn her husbands hot, she going to fck your husband and say thank you for the leftovers.

Don't you get lonely though?

See, this is why I truly believe that that handy little gadget on every man should become detachable as soon as he gets into any kind of relationship. As far as the skanky "friend," I feel sorry for her spawn, I mean, kid.

:( I'm sorry you've been through so much but don't give up hope on people... There are some decent people left.

hell yes there are! although many times they are hard to find

i know how you feel being betrayed by former freinds because when i had a disorder called trichotilomania, which is were you pull out your hair due to stress, all my friends stoped talking to me accept for one. the brutally honest truth is that there are a lot of backstabing ******* in this world and it is hard to avoid them. but if you look hard enough for a true friend you will find them even though sometimes they are rare. please understand that im not trying to make you change your oppinion on friends but im just being honest with you that not all people are total ******* who want to use you. i litteraly can not express how much pain id be in without my best friend because she is litteraly my only true friend who i can relate to so im just saying that having a friend can be rewarding if they are true, even though it may take time to find them.

Hi! I really admire your decision...it takes lot of courage to decide to be a loner..<br />
I think that everybody has the right to spend life as they see fit... but not if that hurts somebody else..<br />
And i'm still shocked by the amount of people who are remorseless in doing what they please without looking back at the victims they've made..<br />
I can't start undertanding how you feel and i'm sorry somebody hurt you so but i really admire your strength of will! If you want to rant about somebody or just plain complain i'm hear to listen!:)

you wanne have a lol every day add me on facebook <br />
I post stupid stuff everyday <br />
<br />
Rinoa Solo

I'm sorry to hear that. If it makes you feel any better, you are not alone. <br />
I have been betrayed by two of my 'friends' before. The first one and I both loved the same girl, and she played with our minds so we both thought she loved us. And one day my friend just start having a go at me and swearing at me, saying that he cared about her. After that we didn't talk for five months. Luckily, we're friends again; and we are best of friends.<br />
But the other one was worse. After the girl me and the first 'friend' fancied left our school, the other guy just start creating false rumours about me - I think just because he fancied two of my best friends (at the same time) and he didn't want me hanging out with them anymore. And it worked. I haven't hung out with them since, and the 'friend' continues to regularly cyber bully me at certain times. People believed the rumours he created, and I have never felt so betrayed. But it showed me who my true friends are. <br />
I'm sure you do have friends; and I know that I'll be your friends. These experiences can only make us stronger.

there are some good friends and ppl out there, don't lose hope D:

It is so true that a friend who betrays you is no friend. But this only means, that they were not friends to begin with. Seek out only people who can accept you for who you are, do for you with out asking you to do for them, listens to the words you say, shares in the same morality that you do. All else are just out for something you can give them. And yes, there are a lot of those out there.

it really hurts if someone whom we loved and trusted betray us. This things also happened to me. I was almost out of my mind because of the pain I felt. I lost a friend, I lost a husband. I turned my back and started new life,telling myself... I will survive..Cheer up.. there would be more beautiful things ahead of you can happen

Story of my life. Granted I'm only 18. But still, I completely understand. I have lost almost every friend I've had because they all betrayed me. I keep trying to find new friends but I can't. But I don't understand how it's possible to be happy without friends. It just doesn't make sense.

there really ant true friends out there in the world but ya self i my self age 21 have experienced the same thing and dont have any friends but my lil boy and im a guy so well gues thats it just keep doing what ya doing ya will find your true friend one day k.

I'M SORT OF A LONER.I SAY SORT OF BECAUSE I HAVE YOU ALL.

I feel like I have been like you my whole life even as a little girl. I still long for friendships though. If you ever want to talk, please contact me. I am at cwpraisinJC@aol.com<br />
God bless you and yours, hon.<br />
Cindy

I feel ya. I feel like i am always betrayed by my friends too so i don't have many though i wish i had more because it would be nice to have people there for you and to hang out with. However, you have every right to be mad because what your friend did was horrible! but you shouldnt shut yourself out from everyone because not all people are gonna end up being like that.

I feel ya. I feel like i am always betrayed by my friends too so i don't have many though i wish i had more because it would be nice to have people there for you and to hang out with. However, you have every right to be mad because what your friend did was horrible! but you shouldnt shut yourself out from everyone because not all people are gonna end up being like that.

Seems like alot of us out here are like that. But, God didn't make us to be loners and this gets to be a really lonely old world without someone to talk to and share. I totally understand though, really I do. I hope you find peace within yourself. God bless you all! Cindy

P.S. Aranarose, your husband was a JERK for doing that to you! You are better off without him!<br />
Cindy

yeah,that hurts. me too, my best friend betrayed me,so how can i possibly trust any one? i shared my whole life with her,treated her like a sister didn't think that she envy me. now, im anti-social and guarded. very vigilant and cautious when it comes on choosing a friend. i miss her but i wont take the risk to be with her again..

yeah,that hurts. me too, my best friend betrayed me,so how can i possibly trust any one? i shared my whole life with her,treated her like a sister didn't think that she envy me. now, im anti-social and guarded. very vigilant and cautious when it comes on choosing a friend. i miss her but i wont take the risk to be with her again..

aaaw ... sorry hun. People do suck sometimes :(

You can always offer friendship, except do not trust all the way, leave some room of caution. I experience some betrayals but I won't let these random cruelties rob me of my social world.<br />
grim and stern,<br />
xuan

That's horrifying. I have had few friends in my life by choice. I figured if I am not comfortable enough to let my guard down, then everyone will stay acquaintances to me. For this reason I have always only maintained 1-3 friends at most at any given time.

well that person was never realy your freind than. just sucks that you had to find out the hard way! i have had few betrade me like probly all of us have at one time or other. but there are few people that i will trust with my life and they can trust me same way. some times it is tuff like when know ya friends wife cheating and ya have to tell him. but i ask myself if other way around would i want him to tell me . so i did. things like thati beleave only a real friend would. better than everyone knowing but you.

i have had many friends betray me too even at my age and i thought id just keep living my life no friends once to but then i relized that was not the answer being a loner and having no friends may seem less stressful but thats not true ask a scientist! you have to find the right person thats all find someone who will not betray you stay by you and help you with your problems!!it may take tome to find this person but in the end it will be worth it

a Friend will accept you for who you are...a "friend" will use you to their advantage

i hope you find what makes you happy, and i wish you the best

dont worry too much about friends. look for acquaintances with benefits! its much easier. emotional attachment is a bummer.

Sorry to hear that, ive had 1 girl in the past that got pregnant to another guy so i kind of know your pain to a degree. Sorry to hear it even still. *hugs*

i have had exactly the same thing happen to me and i left a large group of my friends because several of them slept with my boyfriends and girlfriends (i'm bisexual) but now i'm with a guy who means the world to me so i promise you it does get better

Hmmm maybe you just chose the wrong kind of friend...A true friend would NEVER even look sideways at your husband

I'm sorry for your pain. I have not had any luck myself in the friend area. People like that are simply trash. <br />
Take Care.

I have been betrayed as well..... And guess what I took the same decision as you did... Though it is a little tough being lonely (I mean you cannot tell how you feel to anyone but yourself) but I like it this way..... This world is filled with selfish people that we are the odd ones out now...<br />
If you ever need a person to listen to you, I am there.... :)<br />
Take care....

I hope by now things are mich brighter for you.. Lots of people feel as you do or did when you wrote ths and I sympathise with you so much. Animals are everything humans aren't. Wonderful, loyal, accepting, non-judgmental, love unconditionally, sensitive, devoted and just downright beautiful. No comparison really.... xx

Uhm? Lol that's not JUST betrayal from friends, that's betrayal from the guys you've been with as well..<br />
I mean, I just hope you're not only blaming your friends for what your husband and exs have done to you..

Betrayal is so devastating! The pain seems to last forever. It'll take time to get pass it and you will. You'll cry..and then cry some more. And that's okay. The tears help to wash away the residue of the pain. It's a time to grieve and God gave us the tears to help us thru it. I know how some minds work. I know people can be jealous of your success or how pretty you are. Here are some rules to dealing with girl friends: 1. Do not have friends over always meet them some where. 2. Do not brag about your husband or boyfriend. 3. Do not confide in the friend of problems btwn you two. In all 3 cases I have a story . #1 My sister bought a beautiful house. I told her "the people you work with do not invite them to your house. She did. She caught HELL at work. 1 friend was her supervisor and the other was a friend of the supervisor. She had to leave the job. #2 A girl on my job use to brag about her husband next thing I know she's getting a divorce her husband cheated on her with a friend. And #3 Another lady tells me she use to confide in her best friend and her best friend was telling her that her husband was cheating. That kept them arguing and as soon as she divorced her husband her best friend moved in with him.

I am sorry that you have experienced this. I have too. I look at you though as a very special soul. One so undeserving of betrayal and heart ache. I have to though continue to love others and reveal myself to very few. Revealing myself is actually my survival in this life. Giving love to myself first then sharing that with others...but very very few people. I have alot of friends and also, have 1 or 2 real friends. I understand that I can be betrayed at any time. And have been. I simply love my way out it for me. I am in this life for loving me because somewhere inside I know me is all I have. Loving myself enables me to move on and experience my life's journey.

I'm sorry for what you had to go through, with God prayers you will be OK, and sometimes we don't know why these things happen in our life but, it could be that God is going to send someone better for you in your life, you try to stay strong and with all our prayers you will be blessed they will be dirt under your feet. Be Strong cause they can not be you and they are going to get treated worse cause pay back can be a mother.....

sounds like you have a ****** choice in friends and men then lol. not saying there are a multitude of great people out there but someone in there should have cared enough for you to say " let's stop this now" . Ideally your husband or boyfriend but then again what the **** kind of bestfriend sleeps with her friends husband ? sounds like you played the ******* friend lottery and own several times .

1 thing i always say eveything happens for a reason . and stay detached bt still have company. u may not kno0w when u need them and increase ur self esteem girl. ur beautiful!

I am a loner too - because of the same. I find that women are really bad about betrayal also.

Ahh its so sad, my friends also left me, :( i can feel ur pain, coz i have also gone through it . its really worst , pls dont feel sad u can be my friend if u want as i too dont have any REAL friends, i m sure we can become good friends :)

I am so sorry for your troubles. Don't blame your self ever, no one deserves that. Stay strong and God Bless you.

You deserve so much better. I wish that I could give you the biggest hug right now! You're so strong and courageous for having to deal with this. You deserve better than anyone who would betray you, friend OR husband. I really hope that you can find someone who appreciates you the way you should be...even if it's not in a romantic way. You're a strong woman, who doesn't need some idiot of a husband to tell you that! Keep your chin up, and I hope that someone can come along and disprove what others have made you think. If you ever do need someone to talk to, though, I'm always available.I may not know you, but I care what happens to you. I hope everything works out, aranarose! :)

Yes, «friends» betray, «colleagues» stab you in the back, some members of your family stop talking to you, and your enemies do everything they can to convince you you shouldn't exist. It's called life. If everyone clammed up into their shells, the world would become an impossible place. Learning about life is learning about all its joys and also its other side, lies, treachery, hatred...Life. Still magnificent when it is.

Well my experience in life hasn't been as bad.. but I really have not let that many people into my circle. I have one real good friend now, other than my family. My friend and her parents really care about me and my wellbeing. She's not a girl friend, just a female friend.

My friends are all in my head...literally....

I am soo sorry! That Wud suck but actually it had happened a few times!!!

i have been there and done that .been betrayed and hurt . used and taken advantage<br />
of .but i am of the belief that all things even out. like one of the sisters above said they deserve each other. What goes around comes around. befor long they will be at each others throats. Karma always catches up with people like that. they always get whats coming to them.so that is why i never worry about them.

Please don't isolate yourself, because it will only have negative consequences. Not all people are jerks. Have friends but you set the boundaries and limits and don't tell them all your business. Volunteer at nursing homes, animal shelters, or any other places that interest you. Your contributions will make a difference in others' lives, and you too will be fulfilled. and you'll meet some nice folks. Get off your bottom and take positive action tomorrow. That's an order!

I'm still young. I have also experienced betrayal from friends. I now have some but they ignore me. They accuse me of being annoying. What do I do?

Right on =]

Being lonely sucks though I will agree some people can be utterly disgusting.

Sure, lovers and friends can turn against you, but I'm not sure closing yourself to human relationships is the best solution.

I'm sorry you had to go thru that. You are stronger than I am. I'm sure your scars are always hurting you even if you don't show it. I have been stabbed in the back by people who said the were my best friend. However in my case I found that it was my lack of confidence that actually let people do such horriable things to me. Now I'm not saying that is why things happened to you. Once I quit thinking negative thoughts about myself I could sometimes notice things about people I never noticed before. Still even to this day I trust someone who is no good. However now that I have a different view of things I can cut them off before they hurt me. I give them a chance, but if they start "takeing" more than "giving" they are not worth my time. I use to be a loner, wasn't good for me. I got some serious depression promblems. I guess I just don't want you to stop living life just cause some people don't know how good of a person they had in thier lives. It took me till the time I was in my early 20's to actually find some people who I could call a TRUE friend. Please live your life to the fullest. If people don't treat you right you will still get thru all the pain and hardship and live another day. You have a reason you are here. I will befriend anyone who wants someone even just to talk to. So you can add me to your circle as soon as your ready to take that step back into life.

I couldn't have said it better myself.<br />
Very well phrased.<br />
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I really don't understand why people keep saying "I'll be your friend!" after you've made it absolutely crystal clear that you're happier without them.

Aranarose; I feel for you deeply and you can reach me anytime for a sympathetic ear. I've always gone by the postulate,-- "a friend is a present you give yourself" and in that a true friend cares as much for you as you do them and is always trying to do something to make you as happy as you try to do for them. That's how you know a TRUE friend. I have one life long true friend. We played together as kids and were always tripping over ourselves to do something for eachother. Now some 50 odd years later we are better than sisters because sisters fight and we truly never have. She had a stroke in the near passed and called me before her partner cuz I was the first person she thought of. That left me breathless.<br />
I sincerly hope you can find someone to be a true friend, It takes time but it's worth it. I'm an old gal but I've seen and been through a lot. My ear is here if you want it.

Girl I feel your pain. I am currently a loner myself. It's like they take your kindness for weakness. But, you are a strong person for being able to overcome the BS that was in your life. Just remember you are an awesome person. And, don't sweat the small stuff.

i am so sorry about you

I know that betrayal. It's awful having people cheat you, terrible having them lie to you, and horrendous having them just at random up and leave you. Yes...I know it far too well, and on a rather overtraumatizing level, it crushed me. So I can agree it's easier to be a loner, and easier to never speak to those you hate. (in my case, that's everyone) So all in all, I like your statement. Besides, the human race is a metaphor of disaster and petty dissagreements...too ignorant as it builds it's social trusts on pillars and foundations of sand and gravel. Eventually, like everything else on earth, we will fall to our defeat and be crushed by our own argumants and beliefs.<br />
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~Destiny

It is such a shame that you feel you can trust no one. I often feel the same way as well. Are you okay with being a "loner", or does it disappoint you in the long run? Hope you will be okay. <3