Might As Well Not Have Any

Growing up I was a misfit as a adult I am as well... I had a lot of problems growing up I never felt comfortable in my skin and I endured a lot of abuse. When I came of age I left home but had problems getting on my feet so I had no choice but to return when I came back I met a man that would become the best friend I ever had hes like a brother to me and I dont want to sound gay or anything but I feel as if hes my soul mate. Well its his dream to get married and have a family and thats good for him hes a good man he deserves somebody but in the back of my mind I always think to myself were does this put me in his life? On the back burner of course seems like all the people that are close to me are drifting away from me due to life now I only got one man left standing well in this case shes a girl her name is Nantiya shes my best friend in Asia I care for her a great deal but I think to myself how long will she last? She wants to talk down the aile herself she wants "life".

I think I am destined to be alone cause I am so expendable I am a back burner guy people can push me off to the side like its no big deal and I have to be ok with it I just bite my tounge and smile.
bushi132001 bushi132001
26-30, M
5 Responses May 20, 2011

Thank you for all the supportive comments :) this is a real dark time for me and as always I stand alone thank you for all the support it means alot.

Sounds like a brother marriage or not a brother is always a brother bring the subject up to him perhaps? Maybe he sees things a similar way.<br />
Is dating the girl a possibility at all?<br />
Maybe you should sit down with them and make it known how important they are to you<br />
Wish I could help more

Lots of people here who feel the same way you do, mate. <br />
<br />
It's nice to have a friend, but it's horrible when you feel them slipping away. You'll have to be careful not to push them away yourself. Some people are so afraid of the pain they get when someone breaks ties with them that they choose to break them themselves. (I'm one of those people) And it has been said that you're doing more harm than good. Anyway, if you need someone to talk to, contact me :)

There are more of us out there then you think. I often wonder why i am so expendable as well. Anyway, if you wanna chat then just whiteboard me or something

I read your story, you sound so much like me...YOU HAVE A FRIEND IN ME...