I Miss Having Friends... A Lot!

Well, my past experience with friends still hurts me. I feel like I can't have friends, i just have acquaintances who I talk everyday and they are nice and funny people yes. I just don't feel like I fit in closer relationships (unless with my boyfriend).

I got disappointed with those past experiences and I just got the habit of "not feeling" and not care. This way I don't suffer so much.
For the past 2 or 3 years I didn't care if I had friends or not, I could be on my own and feel ok. In fact, this feels better than passing again bad experiences, feeling excluded, being used again and again. "I'm on my own, nothing bad can happen."
I'm way too permissive and naif, that's my problem. I expect everyone to be clear about their intentions.

Now I start to really miss friends :( And I feel bad when I hear others talking about their social life because it reminds me of how I am lonely now.
CupcakesCake CupcakesCake
26-30, F
2 Responses May 4, 2012

I understand how u feel. For some reason all my friends end up using me in some type of way and I'm so hurt and annoyed. I have such a good heart. Good luck with everything.

You are not alone!! I so feel the same way, like I'm less likely to get hurt when I don't have no one around. I never call anyone anyway cuz it always feels like I then owe them and most of the time it's expected to be paid back in a way that I wouldn't want to had I not asked for the favor in the first place. Solo has always been my comfort zone but there are times when I wish I can text a buddy out the blue and say hey let's hang, girls night, and not with alcohol or party just to get out. It's tough though this world is so full of people who are just out to get theirs and they don't care how they do it. It's so wrong...

Hi :) yes, it's weird that thing about having to pay back... maybe I lack some of those social skills that I have to know when I have to "pay back" something... sounds unnatural for me too...