I Literally Have 0 Friends

For those of you that do have some friends, or at least one; imagine living without even that. Imagine all your greatest accomplishments, all your hopes & fears, all the funny things that happen in life that you would like to tell someone about.. And then imagine that your only audience is you because you have no friends to share them with.

That's kind of where I'm at right now, and this is nothing new. Won't ***** & moan or tell my life story here.. But to make a long story short, I have always lacked in the social department for whatever reason. I had 1 friend, but decided to call that off a couple weeks ago. Someone once told me that whenever you get back from seeing a "friend," you should feel better about yourself an that if you feel drained & not better about yourself, chances are that person isn't really a friend but in fact an energy leech. A parasite so to speak. I'm glad I'm done with that whole thing, but being completely alone isn't much better (though I guess it is a little better!)

I work crazy hours, spend a lot of time at the gym, but every time I try the social thing, I fail epicly. I'm starting to think maybe I am cursed, and I'm not saying that as a joke. It has always seemed to be my luck that situations & circumstance were never really in my favor. The weirdest of things would happen just to ruin what could have been good. Something great would come along in a big way, and in an even bigger way, something would come along and ruin it.

I don't have a girlfriend, and honestly I'm not really looking for that type of relationship either. I do meet women, I have moderately frequent one nighters with girls I meet on free dating sites, but at this point I'm not sure if I'm doing that for pleasure or to fill some bogus emptiness within myself. At this point, I can't really say I care.. Because whatever bad news it may be, as I see it, it is unlikely to change. Never has, why would it all of a sudden start now?

I am currently trying to get sober & stop drinking/smoking.. But it's hard when those things really help you socialize with people. A cigarette gives you a reason to step aside and talk with someone (until you're cigarette is gone anyways) an a drink helps you loosen up. Problem is, all these people I partake in these activities with are only on the outside. I'd say we're acquaintances, co-workers, or room mates.. And that's about as far as it ever goes. Never do I get invited out. Starting to feel like a 1 man show.

I would like to not be such a recluse, but at the same time this lack of socializing has got me thinking that perhaps there is just something majorly wrong with me & that I shouldn't get close to people because eventually they will just take off running or something if they ever "get to know me."
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9 Responses May 11, 2012

I spend almost everyday alone locked in my room on occasion my cousin but thats it. I spend the rest of the time alone and literally no one even checks on me. Its been like this for almost two years i had a girlfriend before that for a few years but that ended badly and since my life has gone back to the way it used to be where i have nothing. i feel like a loser because i dont want to live at home anymore but i dont have the money to leave. ive tried getting jobs but no matter what it is they wont hire me. so i have no way of making something positive.

Reading about the loneliness experiences of various people in this forum shows me that a sense of disconnection seems to be more common than what I initially perceived. I leave comments to invite others to read my story of loneliness to know they are not alone in the struggle. The way I presently interpret the loneliness is that I have potential, but I have not fulfilled it due to the fact that there is much I don't understand about myself as of yet. I know that a friendship starts with a smile and a "hello" in its most basic element, but to muster up the courage to do that is the challenge for me. I do lack self-confidence, and due to that I have avoided trying to go up to people to get to know them. With true self-confidence, one is able to peacefully accept rejection, but the thought of it scares me so much. I know what I need is inner peace, something I am hoping to achieve through the practice of meditation, the Sahaja yoga approach. That way, when I receive the signal of rejection, I am able to shrug my shoulders and move on, and not spend days and days ruminating about what I did wrong or said wrong. Whatever has happened in my life, I know the most important principle is to do onto others as I would want others to do onto myself. As long as I adhere to that, then I should have inner peace, but I am always afraid I will not, perhaps due to lack of self-confidence. You see, I am trying to figure myself out. I have a lot of learn about myself.

A person who has no friends has the life expectancy of a chain smoker.

well I personally haven't had friends that were parasites, but a few of my sister's friends were like that. I guess I just saw how miserable they made her and decided I did not want to be in that position. Its great that you are trying to stop drinking and smoking. For one the overall improvement of health should energize you, and two, you shouldn't have to do things you don't want to do just for the sake of meeting people, cause chances are they are not the type of people you want to be around. As for being a recluse, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, it just means you are looking for actual friends and not collecting them. It's ok to put making new friends on hold and focus on yourself, once you figure out the kind of person you want to be making friends will become easier, and they will like you when they get to know you. So don't stress out, and enjoy your life.

I had a couple of really good friends when i was younger but as I got older everything seemed to drift a away, nothing done on purpose but I was either too tired or busy to phone, didnt even realise at the time. Spent long and weird hours on my job for many years, then not so long ago I was made unemployed and suddenly realised I had no friends we had all gone our separate ways. It is so strange to turn around one day and feel so alone, to physically have no one to speak to - in a world that we are all told that is smaller and more connected.

Ditto. Many times I'd love to share the little things to other people, but I realize, I don't have any friends. Can't share most things with parents because it turns too serious. I can't be happy without them criticize. Maybe sometimes I can be little too sensitive. Sometimes I am rightfully upset. I am human and do make mistakes. Parents don't try to undderstand. Other people get to "busy" to try to get to know me. I have a disability and seem to be an easy target. I am working on changing that. Can't wait for others to accept me. Only I can do that. It is difficult to trust people since so many people reject me. I stopped trying to make friends and work on myself first. If people can't accept me at my worst, people don't desrve me at my best. I am working on it. I still don't have any friends, but that's ok. At times I do get lonely and wish to have friends just to hang out at the house or a movie, etc. I am learning to be my own best friend, before I can be others.

Spending my life all alone with no friends made me strong enough to bear all the pain by myself.. now i don't need anybody to count on... but i wish i had someone who would share my happiness..

Ohh.. one more thing!.. u can substitute cigarettes and drinks with going to social clubs or some classes(recreation)... i think they are a fun way to know more people who have similar likes.. =)

What dating site do you go on where the chicks do one-nighters? Hahah, I never knew chicks on dating sites were like that lol. I might give it a try than.

I completely agree. I have ONE person in the world, who is my worst enemy, not even a friend, but I am married to him. He is the worst thing that ever happened to me. He doesn't ALLOW me to have friends. I would far rather choose to have no friends than have it forbidden.