Extremely Lonely.Well, lately my loneliness has reached an epic stage. I have no friends at all in my life. None, whatsoever. And instead of trying to change this loneliness, lately I am trying to work on ways of learning to accept it. This includes coming to the inevitable conclusion that I'll always be different, and that people will never really appreciate me, or accept me for who I am.
I've been without friends for well over a year now. And I'm feeling more and more isolated as the days go by. I've lost every friend I've ever had in my life, and it's proving damned near impossible to make new friends. It feels as though I keep getting rejected by everyone I meet, and it's just disappointing and disheartening. I feel like there's a hole inside of me and it's growing larger every day. In fact, I've never been more miserable in my life... Being alone and socially isolated is having a huge impact on me, psychologically and cognitively.
No matter where I go, or what I do in life, people just don't seem to like me, and they don't want anything to do with me either. I've been feeling deeply sick to my stomach lately, and I've been going through depression and social anxiety. I've tried reaching out to various online loneliness groups, only to discover that nobody EVER really replies, and nobody ever really cares... They seem to be more concerned with writing about their own experiences than responding to mine. It seems that the more I try to reach out to people, the more they become increasingly disgusted with me, and the more I get treated like crap. There must be something deeply wrong with me, for me to be in this position to begin with. I must be profoundly flawed, or something. I'm grateful for the fact that I have such a supportive family (that I still live with), otherwise, I would have taken my own life a long time ago.
I've been a member of Facebook for well over two years now, I have more than 100 friends, and I don't hear from any of 'em. I've been a member of Experience Project for more than 6 months now, and I haven't made any new friends here either. I'm so alone in this life, and I don't know what to do -- I've been feeling terrible lately over this. I've been trying to get my mind off it through exercise - I've made a commitment to do at least an hour of bike riding every single day. And I've been searching for a job, but so far, I've had no luck. But, it doesn't matter what I do, or how I'm feeling at the time (and I could be feeling great!), I'm ALWAYS alone. This comes as a direct result of having no social contacts. None, at all.
I was basically bullied through out my school years, didn't have many friends. And now, I'm isolated and alone as an adult. Still struggling to form relationships, or friendships (as they seem to be the basis of many people's lives). Failing in real life, I've commonly turned to Social Media to make new friends online. But when you don't have any friends, and you're alone, then Facebook makes you feel like complete crap. And Experience Project hasn't seemed to help either.
I've read just about every self-help thing available on the internet, when it comes to overcoming loneliness, expanding your social circle, and making friends, and I've got to say that absolutely NOTHING helps... I'm on the verge of giving up completely. I just think that I'm just completely and utterly unlikeable. And, at the end of the day, that's pretty much all there is to it, really.
deleted 26-30 2 Responses 3 Sep 13, 2012