I Am Seriously Lonely..

Hello, well I'll just get to the point. I just feel extremely lonely at uni. I live at a flat with 4 other people besides me and I do get along with them. But.. I don't feel like I am friends with them, but just like "flatmates" They're nice and all but I feel like the 3 of them are getting along much better. (The other one is an exchange student and she looks like she already have her friends from the beginning) I don't really mind but if I can, I want to be friends with them and all but I'm not a person to go clubbing often when they are. (I am okay having this "just flatmates" relationship. It's comfortable this way since I don't have to stress over things like "she didn't invite me to this~blahblah" things.

It's not like I stay locked up inside my room everyday. I actually go to society meetings, hangouts almost everyday. But I still feel so lonely. It's probably because I don't feel like they're my "friends" yet, but just like acquaintances.. if you know what I mean. I feel like the people who I hang out with already have they're own little group of friends. The other people I hang out with (I really like them and all) are exchange students who are going to leave after this year. So I always have this feeling that I am going to be alone once again in the beginning of my sophomore year. I am never lonely when I am surrounded by people..but whenever I go home and ask myself whether I am happy, I don't have a positive answer to that.

I try to talk to people in my lecture but it always ends then, like it never expands to the point of becoming friends. People do invite me to be in the same tutorial group and go to the same society meetings but..yeah. I don't know. When I see the people talking to other people and look like they're really hitting off, I have the tendency to back out. Gah. I hate being so shy. I was never ever ever like this before.

I don't know...I know I have only been in uni for less than 3 weeks but I feel like I am never going to make true friends. I always have this third person point of view that I am never really going to be friends with other people. I was never like this. I could talk to anybody when I was in high school and I had couple of best friends and other really good friends.

Nowadays when I go to society meetings and form groups, I can never say anything and just sit there and smile. I just can't find anything to say, seriously. People tell me to put myself in the conversation. I WANT TO. but I just seriously don't know how to.

Maybe the fact that I am really homesick adds to this feeling I am facing. (My university is like 15 hours on plane away from my home) I don't feel like I click with anybody from this country. I feel truely different here. I used to be the majority and now I'm the minority.

I think I am scared of what others think of me when I try to say something. I think I have became a lot self conscious as I grew older...

Should I just wait for the time to pass? Recently I havn't been trying harder...because everytime I do, nothing really works. Looking at my high school friends having a blast at their university makes me so worried and make me feel rushed even more.

2 Responses Sep 24, 2012

I don't know if you still do this blog, but I'll say something anyhow,I understand how you feel and how you can't find anything to say and you just don't feel close to anyone. I totally get it. I'd have to advice you to do something physical that you're really good at, it will bring you into something that you like while also keeping you in your comfort zone because its something in which you excel.Plus athletes tend to be fun and easy to get along with because its nothing intellectual and you won't have to sit around and talk with nothing to say.Another thing I'd suggest is just not to hold back if you feel a type of way, it'll be the first step of becoming more social and happy. Being "the new kid" for some reason seems to open certain people up, because they can't hold on to their past, so try joining organizations where you are completely new, never before met anyone, but also make sure that you're not walking into a family reunion, cuz you could be bound to be left out big timeOtherwise, I wish you the best of luck and I sincerely hope that you find a happy place to be yourself and be the socialble, non-detatched, generally happy person you'd like.

I feel exactly the same! I have been at uni for 3 weeks and your desc<x>ription is exactly my situation and how I am feeling. I haven't even made acquaintances and I don't know what the solution is but I am hoping just to ride it out in the hope I will eventually find people I connect with.