What Is A Friend?

I've known many people, many acquaintances, but I have yet to discover the power in true friendship.
I do not spend time, or hang out with people, on any sort of regular basis; technically, I don't hang out with anyone at all. You may as well just call me a hermit. Or maybe just that girl who walks alone.
I haven't had a single female friendship since I was nearly 14. I miss what it's like to do those stereotypical girl things such as going to the movies, shopping, going out for a cup of coffee, taking small road-trips just to take a drive, revealing inner secrets and fantasies to one another...

But here I sit...alone.

I'm not a hard person to talk to, or even get along with, so why can't I seem to meet one single friend. Perhaps it's all about connection and chemistry. I feel like I've descended into these dark clouds the past few years due to my lack of friendship...or really a lack of a social life!

We are social creatures, and it's oh so disheartening when you don't have a single damn person to talk to. I'm almost to point where it's a pleasure when a random stranger talks to me, or the lady at the grocery store, or the kind man waiting in line behind me...Hell! Anyone for that matter. I'm beyond desperation. I'm sinking fast, and no one around me seems to notice.
Is this what it has really come to!?!?

Longing.
Yeah...that's a loaded word.
BrokenFlowers BrokenFlowers
22-25, F
2 Responses Dec 8, 2012

P.S. if you ever need to talk ,I'm here! Always!

Thanks for the reply SpaceBrothers. You know, you're absolutely right. Why shouldn't I still enjoy the things I like to do? Just because I lack friends?
It's really moving to know there is someone out there who is actually content being a lone-rider. It makes me feel better about my own journey, and I thank you!

You know you can still do all of those things still right? You don't need anyone to do the things you like take for instance me, I haven't had a friend since i was 13 i went through high school alone, multiple weeks of depression and it was well worth it. The problem with the solitude isn't being alone it's feeling that we can't enjoy ourselves without others which is ridiculous. Take that long drive, go to the movies, skip to the beat of your favorite song(i regularly do this). One can be in a room of "friends" and feel just as alone as you are.

You can conquer this. Turn your longing into your dream/purpose and live out each day in pursuit of such as well as in the moment. Be honest with yourself and others even if you become unpopular for it, even if it brings hardship you at least lived honestly and if the everyone rejects you for it ,**** em', an honest life of kindness,sincerity and solitude is better than one of lies,cruelty and ill kept company.
Accept the reality of your situation,Forgive/love yourself and turn your sadness into kindness.

It might not bring anyone but then again you'll be enjoying yourself so much you'll hardly notice