What Happened?

When I was a child I was severely emotionally abused. I learned only a few years before my mother passed that she was a paranoid szhitophrenic. I lost touch with my very best friend from childhood and found her later in life only to learn that she had developed szhitophrenia and was very ill. In my twenties, I found a new best friend, and we did everything together. One day I confessed to her that I had lied on my job application about graduating high school. I told her that I only did it to get a job and take care of myself since my crazy mother had put me on the street when I was only 15. She was so upset with me, because I had been promoted to a position she wanted, that she never spoke to me again, even though I told her I did go to get my GED so it was the same thing. I had lost her friendship by loving her so much I wanted to be honest with her. I developed close friendships with women at my next job that lasted for 15 years. I realized these friendships would only stay close as long as I stay single and lonely like them. Once I met my husband, these friends of 15 years would not even wish me well or come to my wedding, and one of my closest friends in the group told me she knew a good divorce attorney.
I had one great friend of 25 years, who had moved away to another state, but we stayed in touch, but a few years ago she passed away from lung cancer.
My brother who was my best friend in the world, passed away the day before my 25 year best friend did from diabetic shock. He died in his sleep.
My husband and I have opened up our own business about four years ago, and I transitioned into a full time housewife. I am also working on fulfilling my own dream and working on finishing my first book. However, I have no friends. I lost my friends when I got married, and my best friend and brother passed away. I have a few online friends through facebook, but no one in real life to talk to or go to lunch with. I miss having a best friend and sometimes it really hurts. Yes, my husband is my best friend, and we've been married 12 years, but I'm a woman and sometimes it would be nice to just talk to another woman. I don't know how to make friends now since I'm a housewife. That's my story.
evie14 evie14
46-50, F
Dec 12, 2012