Doesn't Anyone Like Me?

actually everyone has a friends...sometime we just dont appreciate it...n sometime we just could see it clearly...it is easy to have friends...but hard to have a best friends...friends always come and go...but best friends always by our side when we need them...you can assume that all people that send a comment to u as ur friends too...

It is nice to hear other people have this issue. Too bad we cannot all become each others friends maybe.

I too feel as though I have to beg people to hang out or be my friend. I have many acquaintances, but no matter how hard I try to become more a friend they never call ME up, it is always me calling them. I really cannot figure out what I could be doing wrong or what is wrong with me? I am not stand-offish, I am no longer shy, (as I was as a kid). I am easy-going, easy on the eyes...in matter of fact, men are the only ones calling...and we know it is not to just be friends. HA!

I am not sure what the next step is for me, but I am tired of being alone. Has anyone figured anything out that has helped them?

I really can relate somehow :// I mean I have two close friends in my neighborhood that really understand me and everything, and I've also got my cousin... but she lives in another city :// But in my school I'm all alone :(( I used to have two best friends there but we had a fight because of something stupid and still I went & apologized to them for something that wasn't my fault & they still said no! Later they came and begun acting almost like normally but I wanted to clear things out & say to them how I felt but they didn't listen! Now we talk but it's not that we are really close friends anymore... but I've always known that they didn't want me to be their friends... mostly cause we've got really different personalities! anyway now I always stay inside the classroom alone while everyone is in the cafeteria or in the school's garden! I feel so alone :((

I really can relate somehow :// I mean I have two close friends in my neighborhood that really understand me and everything, and I've also got my cousin... but she lives in another city :// But in my school I'm all alone :(( I used to have two best friends there but we had a fight because of something stupid and still I went & apologized to them for something that wasn't my fault & they still said no! Later they came and begun acting almost like normally but I wanted to clear things out & say to them how I felt but they didn't listen! Now we talk but it's not that we are really close friends anymore... but I've always known that they didn't want me to be their friends... mostly cause we've got really different personalities! anyway now I always stay inside the classroom alone while everyone is in the cafeteria or in the school's garden! I feel so alone :((

I really can relate somehow :// I mean I have two close friends in my neighborhood that really understand me and everything, and I've also got my cousin... but she lives in another city :// But in my school I'm all alone :(( I used to have two best friends there but we had a fight because of something stupid and still I went & apologized to them for something that wasn't my fault & they still said no! Later they came and begun acting almost like normally but I wanted to clear things out & say to them how I felt but they didn't listen! Now we talk but it's not that we are really close friends anymore... but I've always known that they didn't want me to be their friends... mostly cause we've got really different personalities! anyway now I always stay inside the classroom alone while everyone is in the cafeteria or in the school's garden! I feel so alone :((

That is me. I don't know what to do. I go out of my mind sometimes. I'm pretty active, i walk, i run, i hike...but there are times when I'm on a trail and i look around and suddenly it hits me how alone i feel. I have a cell phone full of numbers of people that don't talk to me and are never available. I have pictures of friends that haven't spoken to me in years. I had a best friend once, last time we spoke was over a 2 years ago. I talk to my neighbors, but i feel like we only hang out when its convenient for them. So alas here i am almost every weekend hoping someone remembers me.

i feel the same way theres these two girls that claim to b my friends and were supposed to b the godmothers of my son but im not sure anymore i had a bday party for my son a couple wks ago they said they could come cause they were working they were supposed to call me the following wk s we could hang havent heard from them since its really depressing thats for sure

at least i now noe im not the only one

Hello! I can understand what you feel, becouse I feel the same. But you should know that it,s only the feeling inside you, that keeps you away from people. They don't keep you out.

Hello! I can understand what you feel, becouse I feel the same. But you should know that it,s only the feeling inside you, that keeps you away from people. They don't keep you out.

This may outrage some people, but I don't like Facebook, I don't like Twitter, I don't really care whether my friends are eating gelato, en route to Starbucks or whatever. Nor do I think they really care whether I'm sitting at the dentist's or shopping. If it requires constantly updating friends on my every action during the day, and reading about theirs...well, those are friendships that maybe I can dispense with.

Great story, but to be honest this is happening more and more to more people. Specially in the USA where the rythm of life goes at an accelerated pace. There's time for work, family and then after that there is very little time left for anything else. Seems like we all are alienating from each other, now txt and email or sites like facebook and twitter seem to be the way to go, no real contact thats slowly vanishing away from our society

SO true fiery, I often have that triumphant Moment when I've met people, and it's about oh, 6 months to a year in...then poof. The gossip and backstabbing ensue/start. Sure, I'm the first one to admit I have issues, but I really consider myself a true-blue, honest, faithful friend. Maybe it's the change in Society, maybe it's me too, I haven't quite figured it out but I'm definitely working on it.

trust me,i'm in the exact same despicable situation.sometimes they seem so friendly to me,and i really begin to think that they are my friends and at some other situation they just desert me,act like i'm not even there.i don't even know if i can trust them.they just know to laugh and be happy when i crack jokes and later they just speak behind my back and push me aside.even though i'd appreciate help from u people,i know this [which i am unable to implement] :



just be YOU !!! [that is unless u irritate and everybody and get on their nerves all the time!]... don't try to be like others,listen more than you talk,observe people and find out indirectly what they like and what they don't.when u are around certain people,act how they'd want u to.thnk from thier perspective. most of all : put all your trust in THE ALMIGHTY and simply let go of yourself. hope this helps you and well....ME :p

awww hugggsss. I will b ur friend!! I think u just have low self image because of the fact u have had no friends for so long. You build up that mindset when u go a long time with no friends. we need friends, its like human nature, like we need air and water. I also experience the same thing as u, feeling that people hate me and people instantly dislike me... and u kinda get to the point where u feel u instantly dislike people u meet too. You lose all faith in people. And like you said, friendships arent natural anymore, probably because were out of practise so we forgot how to naturally form friendships. I will be ur friend :) You should try confidence and self image hypnosis tapes or something. Its important to keep feeling good about yourself and not let the way you think and feel about yourself become bad. Confidence hypnosis is really good, you really feel more positive and you start to feel things are possible, you become more relaxed, you should try it :)

I feel the same way too. I have loads of friends but now i just dont feel like anyone likes me and i am too scared of making new friends incase they dont like me for who i am. But i dont understand why people are making me feel this way, i am a nice caring person, i treat everyone with respect, i stand by my friends, i help them out when they need me. I just dont understand why all my friends are choosing the horrible people instead of me. I try to spend more time with them but i dont know if they think im just wasting their time.

friends are gained at work, school, or other places where there is a common goal. You can't expect to be friends with people and at the same time your fates are not related or intertwined.

I can totally relate. I went from the extreme of hassling everyone to hang out with me to the point I would make all of the plans and would have to call and remind them (!!!) that we are hanging out the night before so that they don't cancel on me. Then, if I leave THEM the chance to plan something, they don't follow through and don't even let me know they decided to hang with someone else until I called to see what was up with our plans.



Then I realized I was going too far and so I waited for them to always make the initiative and would hold my ground and pretend that I didn't need them as a friend... that they were blessed to even have me as a friend. I lost friends who lost interest in me because I didn't show that I really did treasure the friendship, but I was trying to prevent my looking needy.



It is hard finding that balance between making an effort in a friendship and yet allowing them to make an effort as well so that you form a mutual respect and no one feels they are clinging onto a friendship that is trying to pull away.



But really, when you have true friends, you shouldn't even have to think or worry about it. Like you said, it should be more natural.

Honestly, I don't really even like myself. Ever since I was a child, I always wanted to be someone else. As a kid I was a nerdy, skinny, funny-looking boy and as an adult I'm a fat, ugly person that no one has ever really loved. I have had friends, but I always feel like an outsider and, in the end, always feel alone.

For someone to stand by you you need to stand by them. It is an investment but hopefully you can find friends who share some sort of mutual joy. Its is always a risk but when you are truly enjoying people and you develop a caring investment it is not effort. I suspect people who have trouble with developing friendships have either been burned and totally invested in one primary relationship that went bad -try to have aquaintances for awhile and see what naturally develops out of the pleasure of doing and sharing time together. It will broaden your experiences and horizons. After all life is not all about your small perspective. Enrich yourself but start small just sharing a fun moment. People will remember the fun times and want to build more.



And most importantly STOP manipulating people to get what you want. That wears everyone out and sends all potential friends packing when they see the red flags.



I meet friends by doing what I love and being around others who have a similar enjoyment. Be the friend that you would like to have. Start small

I also have a really hard time making friends. I haven't really had a best friend in like five years and only have one or two friends but I still find myself alone a lot. I'm really shy and quiet in school and when someone does talk to me I have a hard time keeping a conversation going. I just wish I could find someone like me

Antidepresents will help most of you if you can literally stomach the horrible side affects. I tried them. They really did help me to integrate and have more confidence. I lost many social fears that I had. Making contact and friends became easy. It was amazing. Unfortuantely, is a double edged sword. The side effects sucked so bad that that alone was making me depressed. Most cannot have a ****** if they on an antidepresent. Now how depressing is that!

I am just truly enlightened by this thread. I am 41 years old, and I have always had difficulty fitting in with any one peer group. I can count on one hand the people that are part of my "inner circle" if you will. They are the ones who actually reciprocate in our friendships. We call each other to check in from time to time; and it doesn't feel like work to maintain the relationships because they are reciprocal with mutual effort put in by both parties without having to ask the other. I think a HUGE element of having sustainable friendships is MUTUAL respect. Too many people are shallow, and self absorbed - and so they have no problem taking what other people give in terms of generosity, while giving very little of themselves in return (especially when it happens to be inconvenient). These are the same people who I find are usually controlling by nature and have to dictate the terms of their relationships while setting limitations. Too often, I find myself reminded of a quote. " In any relationship, the person who cares the least; controls the relationship." It is unfortunate that most people have forgotten how to form healthy, deep friendships that last, but I think it's a byproduct of the disconnected society we live in currently.

ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS JUST BE YOURSELF. AND IF YOU HAVE TO CHANGE SOME THINGS .. DO IT FOR YOURSELF. DONT BE DOING ANYTHING FOR ANYONE. GROWING UP I HAD A LOT OF FRIENDS. NOW MOST OF MY FRIENDS ARE MARRIED, OR HAVE KIDS. EVERYONE IS DOING THERE OWN THING. I GOT MARRIED I'M ONLY 20. SOME OF MY OLD FRIENDS CHANGED . I FEEL LIKE I DONT KNOW THEN ANYMORE. OTHERS END UP BEEN TRAIDERS. FROM ALL THE FRIENDS I HAD IN MY CHILDHOOD. I MUST ADMIT I ONLY HAVE THREE. ALMA, ANA, ANAYELI. EVEN THE PEOPLE THAT I WOULD ALWAYS PROTECT, NOW DISS ME. BUT IT'S OKAY. GOD IS OUR FRIEND AND HE LOVES US. GOD WALKS WITH YOU, AND YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.











AND DONT TRY TO HARD. BE YOURSELF. NOT IN A ANNOYING WAY. PRAY TO GOD

ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS JUST BE YOURSELF. AND IF YOU HAVE TO CHANGE SOME THINGS .. DO IT FOR YOURSELF. DONT BE DOING ANYTHING FOR ANYONE. GROWING UP I HAD A LOT OF FRIENDS. NOW MOST OF MY FRIENDS ARE MARRIED, OR HAVE KIDS. EVERYONE IS DOING THERE OWN THING. I GOT MARRIED I'M ONLY 20. SOME OF MY OLD FRIENDS CHANGED . I FEEL LIKE I DONT KNOW THEN ANYMORE. OTHERS END UP BEEN TRAIDERS. FROM ALL THE FRIENDS I HAD IN MY CHILDHOOD. I MUST ADMIT I ONLY HAVE THREE. ALMA, ANA, ANAYELI. EVEN THE PEOPLE THAT I WOULD ALWAYS PROTECT, NOW DISS ME. BUT IT'S OKAY. GOD IS OUR FRIEND AND HE LOVES US. GOD WALKS WITH YOU, AND YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.











AND DONT TRY TO HARD. BE YOURSELF. NOT IN A ANNOYING WAY. PRAY TO GOD

I an 43 years old and dont have friends either in fact I cant even do therapy right I have pushed so may people away including therapist, psychatrists and friends because I have learned not to trust other people and hurt them before they hurt me. My local hotline doesnt even want to talk to me is that patheitic or what. I have considered calling a PTSD hotine or other national hotline but am afraid they will disappoint me too.. I was gang raped by my two female roomates and their boyfriends and have never been the same. Am I wrong to be angry with the mental health professionals I have been in contact with or do I deserve it.

I have a couple of friends, but they're not like the types to jump in when I need someone, in fact I'm only around because they need friends because they're damaged goods of some kind. I'm either crowd filler or nobody.



I hate that I'm nobody. I asked my gf why I couldn't keep good friendships and the funny thing is she has absolutely no idea. We're both decent, easy to get along with people who don't fight often, like the latest music, slightly on the cool side, but still the moment I try to make friends its soo difficult.



People really don't care for me, ultimately. And that really sucks.

I feel like I have no friends. I want to accept that I have no friends but then would I be lying. I would rather live knowing the truth so I can act on it rather than be caught in a social cycle.

Hmm... I have always felt blessed that I have two very solid, best friends. We run a boarding house together, and that means that there are always people hanging around the house that I can talk to and socialize with, and the people I work with take up a lot of slack in the 'friends' department as well... that last one has always been important for me as a way to deal with social loneliness. On the other hand, my job is all about social contacts and being "onstage" all day, so when I get home I'm ready for a little alone time.



For several years I had a close friend who was just part of my life, but I think we both eventually got what we needed from each other and slowly grew apart. It seems to me that friends are a cyclical thing: they come and they go, and only a very, very few actually stay forever. I'm blessed in having a best friend that I've been close to for 20 years this christmas.

@rjrusselsnow



Hi if only being nice, seeming happy, smiling and offering to help is enough. I have been a member of a gym for 8 years I do all the things that you suggest and everyone is pleasant and polite and yet I am still left on the edge of the group, and it's always been that way no matter where even at parties in my own home. And even though you know it exists it came a shock recently to find out that it's noticed by others. Someone from the gym recently asked me to have a chat with them, it's then that they said they had been watching and noticed that whilst I always seem pleasant and polite and I'm offering to help, they have noticed that I am excluded and that in general no-one accepts my help their words were "who turns down on offer of help? I don't know it's free, and yet not many people take you up on your offer", "I don't understand, the package is right, you are goodlooking, articulate, inteligent, pleasant and helpful, yet you aren't accepted"



Yet it's true, I can be alone even in a room full of people, like someone else mentioned I too spent a lot of time alone walking forests and fields as a youngster, I have tried all my life to take part, to socialise even go clubbing, I have been a highly paid consultant, yet never seem to be the right candidate to employ for half the price they keep me sometimes for years as a consultant.



I might be the oldest here at 37 but all my years of trying to figure it out I still can't relate to people. I don't know what to suggest to you all other then I suspect that like I, many of you have compassionate souls and would do anything to help someone in trouble, so know that you are a worthwhile person even if no one else seems to appreciate you

I feel just the way you do. Im in high school and while i do have a few people to talk to Im not really close to anyone. When i sit with people they often talk about stuff i find pretty boring so I actually prefer to be on my own sometimes. But when you spend your lunches alone as well as your weekend it can get pretty depressing. I mean everyone else has something to do during the holidays and weekends. Sometimes all the effort needed for friendships puts you off. This year there was a new girl and I decided to be nice to her and i asked her to sit with me. She did and then i started spending a lot of time with her and sometimes sacrificed things like studying and exercising to spend time with her. She made friends with girls who were way more popular than me and after a while we stopped hanging out together. While we are still friends shes a lot closer to the other girls and even though she only came here this year she has more friends than me. After that i became pretty discouraged that after all that i still did not get a close friend.