Always Alone And Sad

I am 23 years old and I have no friends. Well I actually have one “friend” but as nice as she is I don’t really feel excited to do anything with her and I don’t really relate to her. The only thing that we do with each other is complain about our jobs, seriously that is all that we do while eating food. That is the other thing I have a problem with, I am over weight and very self-conscious about it.
I guess my sob story starts in Elementary school. When I was younger I thought I had what I considered to be friends, but looking back I definitely think that they were more like acquaintances. I was always the one that was inviting people to do things with me but it was never reciprocated except for the occasional birthday party here and there. In Jr. High and High school it only got worse for me. I had people that I would sit with in classes and talk with but we never did anything outside of classes with each other. As a result I never went to a High school dance, and the only Jr. High dance I went to I left early because I felt like an idiot who was intruding onto other people’s fun.
I have always been lonely and now that I am turning 23 years old I am realizing how alone I really am. I have tried to do things so that I could make friends but nothing has ever really stuck. I did karate hoping to meet people that were separate from school, I did marching band, teen institute, French club and girl scouts hoping that I would connect with someone but I never did. The closest that I ever came to somewhat connecting with someone was with 4 people from my Girl Scout troop but even then it seems artificial. Every summer we to the obligatory camping trip reunion but the only other time we ever communicate with each other is through a Facebook happy birthday message. When I got my first job I thought that things would finally start to look up everyone seemed really nice and I was even able to manage small talk with them and I have gone out 2-3 times with them but even then that has turned out to be artificial. We were all friends on Facebook but one girl blocked me for no reason and another has unfriended me for no reason, and a third has accepted everyone else’s request except for mine. I know that it’s stupid but this has really devastated me because it seems like no matter what I do I am always going to be alone and an outcast.
I really don’t know what I am doing wrong, I have a sense of humor and I love talking with people and I have been said to have been a good listener, but I can’t seem to make any friends. I am so scared that I am only getting older and that it is going to be too late before long and I am always going to be alone. This especially scares me because my family is extremely small and my parents are not in that great of help. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I could do; any advice would be greatly appreciated.
mach2689 mach2689
22-25, F
1 Response Feb 10, 2013

hi .
i just wanted to say that you are never alone i am always here to listen...
and for the people who dont want to or couldnt be botherd .....thats there loss....
try not to dwell on this and rise above it