Can I Just Not Connect With People?

26, F, college grad, working abroad, have exciting partner, am physically well...but have no close friends.  why? this has driven me mad since i was a teenager.  In those years, i blamed myself and figured that i was worthless and became self-destructive thru a number of outlets.  in college this didn´t change. my environment did, i met new people, but none of them are close to me, at least not in the way it seems that other people are. there are people who would call me a friend, but they never call on me for anything.  i could die and no one would know, be/c im not connected with anyone.  i have this partner here, who "loves" me, but he doesnt understand me at any emotional depth. but even if he was i still need my own friends.  

here is the problem:

i can email some people (have to, i moved to another country) and talk about myself, fill them in on how ive been, and then ask lots of questions abotu what they´re doing, and show genuine interest, but their responses will be honest and amiable but nothing more.  they dont need anything from me.  it´s as if no one thinks of me as someone who has something to offer and therefore wants me as their confidant or friends or jeez just someone in their life.  

ive been doing this crap my whole life. but the worst part is that im young and i have so much to offer, but no one seems to want what i have to give.  

meeeese meeeese
31-35
5 Responses Feb 28, 2009

You know what the problem is, so all you need to do is fix it :)

the same here.well i'm shy and i need a lot of time to open up,but i think i'm ok,i can be a good friend i know.i can really care and help and be funny and nice.but nobody ever wants me.i wonder why.nobody ever giving me a chance.perhaps they think it doesn't worth it<br />
that's so :( <br />
but we still need to hope,don't we..

hey end me a message if u want i love meeting new people and stuff and have been in a similar position

I often feel that way too. I have met some genuinely caring people here though. I just wish they could be with me in real life more often.

i feel the same way, and im younger. but i have no friends because i always move around and almost everybody i know right now, i wont have any ties with in four months. So i pretty much gave up on making frinds and now im living in a place where im going to stay for a long time, and i have no idea how to talk to people. I write and am online alot because it's the only place where i feel like i can make any kind of connection because people wont have to see me. wow, we're a little similar.