Can I Just Not Connect With People?
26, F, college grad, working abroad, have exciting partner, am physically well...but have no close friends. why? this has driven me mad since i was a teenager. In those years, i blamed myself and figured that i was worthless and became self-destructive thru a number of outlets. in college this didn´t change. my environment did, i met new people, but none of them are close to me, at least not in the way it seems that other people are. there are people who would call me a friend, but they never call on me for anything. i could die and no one would know, be/c im not connected with anyone. i have this partner here, who "loves" me, but he doesnt understand me at any emotional depth. but even if he was i still need my own friends.
here is the problem:
i can email some people (have to, i moved to another country) and talk about myself, fill them in on how ive been, and then ask lots of questions abotu what they´re doing, and show genuine interest, but their responses will be honest and amiable but nothing more. they dont need anything from me. it´s as if no one thinks of me as someone who has something to offer and therefore wants me as their confidant or friends or jeez just someone in their life.
ive been doing this crap my whole life. but the worst part is that im young and i have so much to offer, but no one seems to want what i have to give.