I Am a Grown Woman With No Friends . . .

In a short while I will be 31 years old and I have no friends. If I had to ask someone for help at this very moment, there is no one I could call. However, I know lots of people on both professional and personal levels but not a single individual from these groups EVER asks to include me in anything they do.


Why? I'm not sure. I am personable and people enjoy talking with me and asking for advice very often . . .


I have often felt that the Gods hated me and that I am being punished for something I did in a former life . . . but I don't believe that - I'm just trying to rationalize and give myself SOME kind of answer to nullify my sense of hopelessness . . .


Growing-up I had no friends either. I would make friends and then two weeks later I would get treated like I had the plague. If someone took an interest in me, it was generally to get something from me. For example, two weeks before my birthday everyone in 3rd grade became my friend when they found out I was going to a local theme park and that I could invite whomever I wanted. The next day I was the fat kid again and those who attended threw rocks at me on the playground. Events like this plagued my childhood until I gave-up at the age of 13 and didn't care anymore . . . even though I secretly did.


Where was my family in all this? Well, my mother was busy working and when after-school rolled around I had toys thrown at me as a substitute for her attention and love. After a long day at work, she needed space . . . Thusly, this resulted in her not seeing my lonliness nor my lack of friends in general. During school vacations she would tell (yell at) me to go outside and play with my friends . . . So, I wandered about the neighborhood alone with my thoughts and doing nothing.


When I got to high school I stuck to myself. I was not the Goth chick, the nerd, the creepy girl, nor ever involved in anything cool/illegal. I just didn't exist . . .


I struggled after high school because all that neglect and lack of mentorship from my mother, and the lack of socialization with my peers caused me to not know how to function in life. I was in the top 4% of a 2-AAAAA school but I couldn't balance a checkbook and couldn't find a job to save my life . . . Which caused me to spiral into an existential depression (of sorts . . . more like confusion) and I flunked out of college not knowing who I was or what I wanted to do in life . . . Making my family disappointed with me and my lack of direction . . .


Years later I lucked-out (figuratively speaking) and found a job at a speedbar . . . They hired anyone with an IQ over 30 and preffered young girls who didn't know anybetter. I witnessed the lowest forms of human nature: sexual and physical assault, drunkeness, theft, and even murder . . . the bar manager shot an unarmed kid 9 times . . . the kid bled out infront of me and the manager never saw a day in prison . . . Why? Cause I was the onlyone standing within 30ft of the event and I was the only one who told the truth about what happened . . . but my statement didn't "match" the other 9 employees' statements - who were more than 60ft away in a scrambling crowd . . . I was out of a job less than a month later. Go figure . . .


I was jobless for 6 months and a "total embarrassment" to my recently widowed (second marriage) mother with a job and Master's degree . . . but I found work again as a cook - hired by a guy who didn't know his *** from a hole in the wall. I was the only woman in a kitchen filled with black male ex-convicts . . . If I dropped something, I didn't dare reach for it and I couldn't go into the walk-in if one of them was in there . . . I found these things out the hard way . . . The guys I worked next to hated my guts. He reminded me of all the good-looking boys that would pick on me throughout grade school and kick me cause I was an easy target (fat and slow). I quit that job shortly after being sprayed in the face with EasyOff by that guy, and the manager telling me that I was "complaining a little too much for someone who wanted to keep their job".


Keep in mind that all this time I have no one to talk to, no one to smile with and no one that makes me feel human on any level. I have become a thing . . . unloved by my mother and treated worse than a rabid stray dog by those that I meet and work with. I write in a diary . . . but I soon stop because I find pages missing, and whilst cleaning my mother's room (to earn my keep at 23) I find them under her bed as I am changing the linens. She has written nasty comments over everything she doesn't like on those pages, and on the back she has written her own tirade of fury . . . Not even a blank book is a good friend.


I find a new job quickly and am able to save enough money to move-out five months later. I am around nicer people in the kitchen but my managers treated me like a slave, and I feel more isolated. Life goes on and I barely make bills, eating Ramen Noodles and praying for love . . . because I have to be suffering for something, right? I spend all my free time dreaming of love and imagining what life will be like when I can afford to go back to college - which in truth, is not appearing to ever be a possibility at this point. I meet a few people at work that will talk to me outside of work and I meet some others in a group at a local UU Church . . . but no one calls me and they only want me around if I can do something for them. I feel alone in a crowd . . . and I don't see th purpose of living as my 24th year comes to a close.


Why? Why would the Universe make a child so aware and so full of faith, and then give them no real family, no friends, allow them to be exposed to everything they know is dangerous, and to be ostracized from every event in life without having committed a single "crime" against anyone? But then again, why do kids die of cancer and AIDS . . .


Every night I would go to sleep begging that I would stop breathing in my sleep . . . I was tired of the misery.


I agree to help be a number in a 4th of July group headed to Canyon (though I know I am just doing it to make others happy), and I meet the love of my life - a young pup barely able to vote, but he is sweet and he loves me . . . I feel as if I have never been alone in my life and I am grateful for every minute and kiss he has given me over the past 5 years . . . AND he helped me go back to school – I graduate this December with my BFA.


But, I still have no friends and all of his friends (of which there were more than could be counted at one point) have stopped talking to him. Why? We don't know. We are happy healthy and spiritual people who make those around us laugh . . . but no one wants to "be friends" or come over to play cards . . . we live in a city with 250,000+ people living in it and we are exposed to an average of 40+ people a day, most of whom are in the same field we are both studying at college . . . and we have no friends.


We thought for a while that it was because we have kids, and that people treat you like you have the plague when you have kids . . . None of my hubby's friends have kids and very few are in long-term relationships. The few people I talked with from work have dropped-off the face of the planet, or moved far away. My mother, who now pretends that she was the best mother ever (postmetapausal), moved nearly 400 miles away and rarely visits her grandchildren. I always think of Bill Cosby when I look at her: “This is not the woman I grew up with; this is an old person trying to get into Heaven.” My mother-in-law, who used to come over at least 3 times a week, comes over once every two weeks and only for 5 minutes. She lives five minutes away and never spends time with her grandkids . . . My mother has developed a heart condition and only recently has taken interest in visiting more . . . but she is the only one who comes over to the house for any extend amount of time (more than 10 minutes).


I feel like a prisoner of my own home . . . and my kids suffer because I don't have friends with kids. I can't afford to send them to daycare - hubby and I are both college students working part-time jobs to support everyone . . .


What makes things worse is that the hub of our old circle of "friends" lives next door. We see many of the people whom we have known in our lives come and go next door, and even hang-out in the back yard for parties and ritual but no one ever takes two seconds to say "hi" . . . It’s like a boyfriend breaking-up with you by giving you the cold-shoulder and pretending you are dead. The kids see these people too . . . My two eldest know some of the people next door and yell-out for them when they see them . . . only to get ignored, or told that they are unable to visit with them right now . . .


I hate these people now . . . how dare they?


My husband and I don't think that it’s us, or the fact that we have kids anymore . . . We think its cause everyone we used to know are worthless and terrible "friends" . . . terrible people on many levels too . . . We believe that people are just like this in the area we live in and we cannot wait to move. We live in a weird, conservative area that has strange customs (like there is not a single butcher shop in this city – you get your meat cut at Walmart (?!)). . . We want to move to St.Paul, MN and be around more earthy liberal types where I know people are human . . . A move is no guarantee but we need it.


I am so on edge and lonely right now . . . Tomorrow morning my eldest son will start Pre-K and at the Open House this past week, I saw how different he was . . . I saw how easily he could be misunderstood, or mislabeled by these backwater Neanderthals . . . I don't want my life for him, or to see him ostracized for being that unique kid that no one takes the time to love . . . I am so terrified for him - my baby . . .


I sometimes think that there is a hex over me . . . a taint that affects those around me and that by being with me, my husband chooses a social-less life and that my kids will be affected by my "curse" . . .


I just wish that I had someone to talk to (besides my husband), someone to invite over for coffee, someone who had kids for my children to play with in the park or have come to their Birthday parties . . . I wish we could have parties and play cards with SOMEONE . . .


I am expecting our fourth child in January, and it is a girl . . . I am terrified again, because I look at my daughter Uille - who looks and acts just like me - and I see a sweet little girl . . . I lose a little faith cause I don't see why anyone/thing would give her that life I had . . . and I in no way want her to experience her life alone . . . without knowing friendship. She and her sister and her big brothers will always have me & Dada to love them and to talk to, but it is hard having nothing beyond what happens between blood . . . Its hard surviving grade-school and going to high school without ever having gone to the prom or been invited over to a friend's house to play . . . Cause I know firsthand.


I love my family, I love my husband and I am grateful for having been given the chance to spend my life with each of them . . . I just want more for us. Something that shouldn't have to be begged for: Companionship.


WynsomeGreen WynsomeGreen
31-35, F
134 Responses Aug 23, 2009

I am in the same boat. Maybe...we should all become friends in here?

Hello. I read your post and my heart ached for the pain you experienced ... and still do. Please know you are not alone, and regardless of what happened in your past, you have won. You perservered, started college, met your husband and have a beautiful family. You have won the lottery! Having friends important and an integral part of growing up and experience life together ... but what you have now, even without friends, is a huge blessing. Friends are a bonus ..... so focus on yourself and keep thinking how much you love yourself, your husband and your children ... and make an effort to make frieds when you move to a new community. It thing starting anew will give you a fresh start and maybe give you the confidence go out there and initiate some new relationships--with other women and then also other couples. It's not the end of the world not to be part of a big group or groups of people. My mother used to say if you want a friend, be a friend. When you're ready, maybe invite one of the other mother's from your kid's school to your house for a playday, or come over for coffee, or just meet them at the park so the kids can play and you can chat. If you keep doing that (forget about the meanies or ones who judge a book by its cover and only want skinny ******* in their circle of friends!) Eventually, some nice girl/women will want to get together and when you do, you might find you click with one of these people. A good friendship takes time, but if you keep looking to meet NICE people, people that are kind and ethical, and are dedicated parents, then you might find someone you share lots in common ... and really hit it off. Hang in there! You are a tough cookie, and you are not the only one to be stuck with a dud-mother and/or mother in law. Be grateful for your husband and family. You have already won.... I have my family and I also know what you mean about friends. They're nice sometimes, then snub me another. I barely get invited to events or parties, nor am I included in social gatherings, or holiday get togethers. Yeah, it bothers me ... but what am I going to do? I've lost friends who were in my bridal party, cut off by friends who I knew since 7th grade because they thought I wasn't attentive enough, and I've also had friendships that I really valued, just fizzle away because they found "better friends" (more well off, too ... how shallow)

Anyway, I admire your strength and courage to speak up and share your story. There will always be peope who have more, look better, live better, go on more vacations, go to more parties, have more friends, etc. .... but I try to look at all I do have, and not what I don't. And then I try not to feel sorry for myself because I'm so darn loney some times. I see my kids dont' have tons of friends, but as their school principle said, "you just need one" friend to feel good with the world. Just one friend to talk to, laugh with,, and relate to. It'll happen. Keep your eyes and your mind open!

I'm 28 with no friends. It's so embarrassing to me . I try to hide both the fact that I have no friends and the fact that I even care or think about it. But I know me having no friends is because something about me must turn people off. I'm so oblivious that I can't acknowledge that fact. I'm just not all together sure of what exactly it might be. My personality is fun and kind for the most part. And I'm physically attractive I think, because I get hit on daily by men and have a major social media following. But somethings not so cute about me clearly because no one really has tried to be my friend. At this point I know because it's been so long since really having friends and being out and social that my social skills probably suck- I'm kinda secretly nervous and insecure when talking to someone new, unless it's a guy. I'm use to guys approaching me so that's fine, but talking to another girl I never know what to do. In a group I'm usually quiet but wishing I'd speak up with some clever and hilarious thing to say. I just joined meetup.com so I'm hoping that will help. I really just want good friends and want to know that it's possible for me. I feel like such a lame for having none . And it makes me sad sometimes knowing no one cares about me.

I'm thirteen and I tried my best to be friends with people but I just always get bullied by people and people think of me as the ugly girl. I wish i had friends but now im just starting to just give up with it. I think ill be fine without friends.

im sorry you dont have anyone to hang out with so much. you should have friends and people to talk with and have a nice time with

I'm very moved by your eloquent post but also thinking that the history of alienation you describe may suggest Asperger's Syndrome. Many talented and compassionate individuals face this feeling of alienation on a daily basis yet through self awareness and coping strategies and finding like minded people life gets easier. Investigate.

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I am the same way, no friends in my country of origin, and the family I have here in my community have no desire to get together. I used to get depressed about this, the one thing I wanted and prayed for were friends.For many years I was upset with God. I felt like the desert years were endless.

As an individual I value respect over to be liked.

Constantly, I am reminded that God has a plan for every human being to be prosperous.

My husband and I are contemplating missions in a few years.

Throughout my life I wanted so badly to know why God had made it so hard relationally with others in our age group. Our belief is that God is using our emptiness for his Glory. There are people out there that have it way worse then we d, Maybe this is my chance to volunteer at the homeless shelter, visit the elderly that are forgotten by there family, volunteer at an animal shelter, adopt an orphan, and just my praying sometimes God will reveal himself to us. He hath made everything beautiful in its timing.

I married at 19 Had 3 beautiful children. Bought a house Went to nursing school Was living a good life. Even through school and young adult hood I was popular. Kids grew up Then it started "empty nest". Then i was hit by DD on way home from work one night. ( I know feel the friend killed in my car that night was the lucky one). My husband & i had 2 gkid. My world I raised my gson fir 3 yrs.. After 26 years of marriage my husband passed away. I had never been alone, didnt know how to ve alone. He was a OTR driver so kids thought i was the bad guy. Anyway lost career, friends & my husband. I now have 7 gkids But im still all alone. My kids dont call or bring kids to see me unless they need a sitter. I moved to this town 9 yrs for the kids I still know no one! No one ask me to evdf do anything I use to be poular. What happened? Im tired of existing. Not living. I' just really really tired of struggling to get by and do things i physically not able too! All the kids say is Get out Go meet ppl. Seriously there is nothing in this small hick town. Nothing. Why dont they call me? Why dont they ask me to go have a drink? Go fishing with them? Anything!!! Life isnt worth living like this!

I am cut from that same cloth. I felt like I was reading my own words. You are not alone.
Rachelle Hermanson

I was just going to write exactly that. Felt like I was reading from one of my journals. Its a strange existence. I wish there was a way we could all connect and I hope wynsomegreen is doing better.

Iam looking for nudist friends

Hello, I think there are a lot of people who feel exactly the same way as you do. I can sure tell from what you have written that you are a very worthwhile person who most should be honored to call friend. Also, I believe that you are a very good writer, and I found your writing very interesting. Have you ever thought of writing a book? I mean this honestly and sincerely. Jesus Loves you.

It is because you are gifted. Look it up. You may never meet a kindred spirit or another female who understands you, and you will always feel left out. They see you differently than you see yourself. It is the price you and maybe all of your children will pay for being gifted. Luckily alot of kids are being born this way and your kids will have a much better chance at friends than you will.

I am a 42 yr.old black female that has recently found out that my husband has cheating on my with my step daughter. I took her and her mother in gave them a place to lay their head. And my husband pay her for sex. I've given everything I have for 20 years to this person. Four children and with our four grandchildren that we love. How do you come back from that? But I can say this everybody sometimes feels lonely in a crowded room. Because ppl don't take notice to the quality of love and compassion anymore. Find a local spot and network. I have ppl a round me all the time. A most of the time I find that as long as I have something to offer their like bees until I need support. A friend is priceless to have. But they will come with a price if you let the wrong ones in to the peace that you have now without the drama. Quiet day will be longed for. So good luck with that cause I have cared for all walks of life straight, gay, black, white, Lebanese, Indian, you name it it. But I still find backstabbing people. I loved them and they tried to destory me because I was good hearted. I'm so lost!!

The Word of God says that in the last days the "love" of most will grow cold. People even killing their own children. Well, I know it isn't a totally new idea, but still shocking to me. Very sad. Even in your current pain you reached out to another who is hurting. I can tell that you are a special friend. God bless you.

I am so in the same boat as you are. I am so confused, I feel as if I have stepped inside of the Twilight Zone. I actually had a best best Best Friend (so I thought) almost like a sister to me just start not talking to me like we use to. We would talk all day everyday and all of a sudden she started not really dealing with me anymore. I am still so confused and hurt.

Over the past few years I have become kinda sorta anti, I have been hurt repeatedly by people...but I miss having someone to talk to!!! Now I only have my husband. I feel as if when we got married i warped into another type of life...my friends (that I thought were my friends) disappeared.

I want a friend so badly, to talk to and shop with...but it seems that women are different the older you get. They change, it's always a competition, or they end up being jealous of some blessing or SOMETHING you have.

I hate this

But everytime I get down for not having a friend

The song "WHAT A FRIEND WE HAVE IN JESUS" comes to my mind and I get comfort form that.

Yes, indeed Nikki. What a friend we have in Jesus Christ. His love never fails us. Amen.

I'm the same, but 17, no friends, everytime I make a friend, they end up bullying me, ignoring me, or moving away. I also live in a weird area, where nasty people all know each other and when they get to know a nice person like me, I am belittled, barely any shops and basically everyone Is on hard drugs and stares all the time. I went to school, I even remember standing in the playground at primary school feeling indifferent to everyone else, like I wasn't really here and no one could see me, and no one to play with. Also, I was bullied all throughout junior school yr 4- to end of secondary school-yr 11, I realised I am different to everyone else, shy, sensitive, cant make eye contact too long without getting nervous. There would be a few random months at school where I would be all jokey and people took the **** and thought I had something wrong with me. Now, I've given up on trying to make friends, I done volunteering, joined clubs to get myself out there and also just got a job interview, but I barely went to school in the last year, because of how bad the bullying got, I was pretty much nearly pushed down some steps by one bully and the other bully was in the way and pretended to be like all shocked. I am so depressed, I want to run away, but I don't have any outlet, no friends, barely any family and no money so I stay in every day, only go out to the supermarket, or for a walk, sometimes I want to die, but am too scared to, I have been to school counselling and been to the actual doctors but I couldent get to camhs so I'm basically screwed. I should be at college, making friends, going out like a normal teenager, but I had no choice but to find work cos my family have no money, so I cant even join a club or anything to get out and socialise...

im 45 and im in the same boat

I don't regret wrapping myself up in my husband and children over the years--I just regret not understanding that there was also room for friends.

So...lets be friends.

Add a response...

at least you have a husband and family... i am single, turning 31 in a few weeks and i have no boyfriend, no friends, no job. i am going to school and the people there only talk to me when they need help with something. i get lonely when i see them going to lunch break together or talking together at the end of the day. i just want to say, at least be grateful for what you have because some people have less than you.

I don't have any friends either. I gave a great boyfriend and we've lived together 9 years. But he can't handle everything emotionally. I have no family. I am depressed all the time. Don't know how to make a friend as a 30 year old female. I work from home so 99% of the time the only person I talk to is my boyfriend.

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Hi Wynsome Green,
I just happened across your post from 5 years ago. How are things with you and your family? Has the situation improved? I hope so.

Hi, it is unfortunate that your mom was the way she was when you grew up. Here is the thing, you are here, you made it, on your own. You must always be positive even in the mist of horrible things which do happen. You have LOVE, appreciate the husband and the children. When we marry at twenty or so and begin to raise a family and in addition you are going to school there is not much ME time left. Spend time with each child, your husband and study, allow time for your self and GOD and don't forget your mother. YOU can do it. Join the PTA, a local church, the girls and boys club, help at a local shelter there is so much need, time to GIVE back!

I have no any girlfriend. I am 33 y.o handsome boy but I have no any girl friend I want a g.f any one interested than contact me. Age does not metter up to 40 y.o. long term relation ship mail amitinfra9 adtharate gmail dot com. Hellooo I am very serious only serious women

I no this is old but I wanted to speak on it. I had a similar life. But with me I did have close friends at different times in my growing up life. At childhood I had a friend for 3 yrs that end then I was alone for awhile had another friend for a few yrs.then that end it was a cycle. Which I will come back to this another time. I realize by 17-18 I had change alot. In middle school people was close to me because they fear me. I some how got in protective mode and just learn to talk up for myself .all in elementary I was quiet and sweet and had a few friends but I was too quiet with hormone issues. People come for me and I come back but I was just too quiet. Middle school I was all for myself had a **** you attitude. I mean people hated me for no reason in 6 grade and I learn not to give a dam by 7th ..I was like by many but I think people just admired the fact that I said how I feel but secretly they hated me because they couldnt do what I do ...later on I learn that people didnt like me at all they just wanted to be like me. I dont no but in middle school I just kind of taught myself to not trust anyone and to protect myself with my quick mouth. I realize every time I let my guard down I was bitten. So I told myself dont trust anyone.I enjoy middle school somewhat because people respect me and I didnt mine standing alone. I will say I was so much mentally older then my time that I kind of felt stuck in life. In middle school people would say I was like a mother because everybody came to me with there problems.

I also had home issue me and my mom was close but in middle and partly high I was lift taking care of baby sister alot. Didnt also talk about elementary my brother issue with him fight on me.
By high school mostly in 10grade I change again I became more humble I only had 2close friends but the more I became humble and just let my guard down the more people change around me. I mean jealous and sneaky friends and I learned that that most of my life there were females that just could stand me for no reason. I had my guard up for so long that I didnt realize the hate because I never give people the chance.

By 20-22 no friends at all. My guard came down and I mean people came for attack. Why my guard came down was because I was working on how to trust in let go. I allow myself to be humble with my father,friends,also jobs. I thought in my mind if I live my life so close in I will be alone. I also told myself Dammm u shut yourself off from people u no u care about but u cant even feel at times. There was times I was scared to feel.

Well like I said when i let go people came for me. I lose friends I had for years because of jealousy. I did meet a lovely man by 22 I fell in love with. Humbling myself taught me how to allow love from a man.

I am almost 30, I havent had a close friendship since 21. My social skills are terrible. I work , have boyfriend time and that it. At work I am quiet and every job I had up too 21 and now
females dont like me. Its weird and a pattern. There some I met they friendly but in a nasty nice way.then its the ones who nice to me only when they see me with something they want. The problem comes when I see bad and I shut down and only be polite. Then the problem acure I mean payback time. I had one girl ok not speak to me wgen she wanted to research something for her or any information she didnt have knowledge on.any other time u around her at work and she didn't even speak. I said ok I am not helping her with anything else, keeping things work related only, and add I caught her talking about me to another coworker. We when I stop doing thing for her it was on , she spread rumors, lied on me, she turn other coworkers a against me. The girl went crazy. EVERY job or new coworkers its like this. One girl is mad at me because I dont talk much. I am not mean I just speak nicely and keep it work related she go to other coworkers saying she don't like me when they ask her why she says because I dont talk at all. This lady in her dam 40s. She came to me one time and said to me after a deep conversation about animals, family and life stuff. That she had to go home in ask her boyfriend about me because she dont understand me, then a aweek later she repeated our conversation to other coworkers. Smh.... so yes I dont understand people...

I guess I am passionate about this topic because I too have trouble with gaining friends...I am very stubborn .. I will not take bad friends to have fake friends.. in my early twenties I took bullshit from 2 best friends because we knew each other for awhile...not today. I no I am a good person . Sometimes I feel like I am in the wronge place or time. I think differently then most. Ok I am ending this...I left alot of details out but its all the same, I dont have friends. ..I just push along in live my life.I do get depress when I can call a girlfriend to vent to about girl stuff. Or when I want to shop have a friend to shop with. ..but I keep my head up ...and stick to the things I love to do alone.

it's june 2014 now..are you still in the same situation?

Hello. I'm going to keep this short: My advice... Well first, there is NOTHING wrong with your personality, you are very kind and inspirational :) it's sad that everyone you have met have been so terrible :( i can't believe that would happen, and that no one would acknoledge you and spend some time. I have no experience like that, since I am still very young. To get to the point, it's nice for you to share your story, this story of yours can help stop bullying ( when you were a child) and i know how you can inspire even more... there is this website, it is called Youtube - where you can post videos and anybody can watch online. First, you need to share this story to a director (or such) by emailing your post. That can make a video about your story and hopefully inspire hundreds a people through youtube. You would be like... a motivational speaker like a very inspirational woman on Youtube, her name is Lizzie she is called "the ugliest woman in the world" she was bullied for her appearance , i advise you to look up her on youtube, and watch her speech. <br />
<br />
i know this was back in 2009 (i just found out) but I hope i helped and gave you helpful advice and a suggestion :)<br />
i am in sixth grade. i like giving advice to people... and well i am 12.<br />
say hi to your eldest son (who is probaly in sixth grade by now) and your other children. :)

*the director can make a inspirational story about you through a video...which can be a speech, interview, short documentary, animation, etc (the possiblities are endless) how can you contact them? well, for now , i do no know exactly, but search on google for now... no i am not that unhelpful LOL search at good websites as well. My example: search something like " i want to share my story of bullying because of my weight" or if you want to contact somebody : " therapists, people to talk to... so i can share my story"

but for now i am sorry if this extended response is not helpful, i do not know a lot of organizations that can help.
again lizzie's speech on youtube (Lizzie Velasquez)
you can also subscribe to her channel if you like i guess ;) haha

well, hope you read this, and hoped i helped. :)

Support groups and therapists can help reach out your story :)

Lizzie is awesome! I've "liked" her page, but I haven't seen any new posts of late. She is a wonderful example for all.

I know how you feel. If I knew you as a child I would have stuck by your side and been your friend.

I feel the same way. I would have too!

I want to start out saying I am sorry you all have gone through this and I too have suffered as you! I don't think I have had it as bad as some of you, but have experienced a life with no friends and it is a hard life!

We are all human we want to be liked and have people to share our lives with. Growing up I had a mother who was a narcissist and never satisfied she would marry and get divorced soon after, so due to that we never stayed in the same place for to long and I believe I never had a chance with a foundation like that. She was very self absorbed and was an ignoring mother. I was left to fend for myself and was an only child. By her 3rd marriage we kind of settled down in suburbia and I was there long enough to make a few friends. I think I had 1 really close friend and 3-4 friends through that person, but like any childhood friendship it faded as we got into high school and I was kind of left in the dust. I then was unhappy and probably depressed and did everything I could to get out of there. I graduated a year early and moved to NYC. In NYC I joined the party scene and made so called "friends" really quickly, but never would hang out with any of them during the day, it was always at night at the clubs. After 2 years of this I got worn out and sought more of a college experience.

I moved to Florida and went to college, but never could develop a close friend. I would have what I call "situational friends" people I would talk to in a certain class, or event, but would never see or hang out with them outside that situation. After college I moved out to LA and again met several situational friends, but soon I had some family troubles and moved back to where I was from. I then concentrated on dating and meeting men. I finally met my husband and we were totally evolved with each other. We got married and then decided hey we need some friends! Well where do people meet friends now days? We joined meetups and tried to meet couple friends, but it was extremely hard. Either he would not like the husband or the otherway around. I soon became pregnant with my 1st and that took priority over making friends. After my son was born I jumped into some mommy groups, but for some reason women in those groups are very closed off. I try to talk to them and be friendly, but never get anything in return. I feel like they are nice and talk to me during the meetup, but never are interested in doing anything outside the group. They NEVER ask me to do anything, or ask for my number. I kind of feel like when I host playdates not as many come to my events, but when others host there is always tons of people there.

My husband and I have had issues with out families. They are nonresistant in our lives and don't have anything to do with out children. We have tried moving which has helped and now I have a little girl, but it is still the same. I meet "situational" acquaintances, but not one real friend. No one to call up during a time of need, no one to do things with.

My husband is even worse, he will just look at the person and think they are rude. I try a little harder than him, but still do not have any results. We have tried church groups and that is even worse. It seems like everyone kind of goes for their own personal relationship with god, but does not have interest in making friends. Where is the fellowship that churches promote?

I too believe I have a curse on me. I am nice, friendly, loyal, not horrible looking, but never seem to make friends. So I am in the same boat as all of you! I also fear for my children as well!

Although I personally believe a person's personal relationship with Jesus and God is most important, I very much agree that we all crave the human friendship and fellowship. I too feel very awkward at church. Sometimes I'd prefer to sit in the car while my husband and kids worship, or not go at all. Terrible feeling.

I am unsure if this is a dead thread or not but I will reply anyway, I am for the most part shocked because I fall into a similar boat as the one you are in.
As a child I had two workaholic parents (who are literally only happy when they are working, I inherited this trait) who though they gave me things, took me places, and in their free time did spend time with me still did not recognize how lonely I was. I had friends till about age 8.5, and by friends I mean people I would trust to guard me while I was having a seizure and not take advantage; then we moved far up north and my life started to mirror your story. I was made fun of for everything I did, the few people I had who were "friends" I felt may have hung out with me due to feeling sorry. My peers isolated me, bullied me, and traumatized me for being "too thin, too fat, epileptic, too smart, too weird, having an accent, being short, having a big head, being from Texas, being from Austin Texas, being from a city, and more or less for daring to exist".

I stopped "existing" to my peers in the form of being someone that mattered at age 11, middle and high school were horrible and I had no support system, no friends, and what I went through makes me believe that High School should be renamed Hell School. I should note that lack of friends meant I was picked on by everyone, including the band kids and when a certain event occurred around age 11 I broke and spent the next 14 years trying to put myself back together with no help or support from friends. Until very recently I either had no friends or kept getting "friends" who were not friends, at almost 26 my social network is almost entirely online; my real life friends I can count on one hand and 3 fingers (they contact me regularly). However these friends are generally working, or dealing with their so's and/or children, so hanging out with me is hard to plan for and I am not sure how they really feel about the idea; I only managed to find them in the last year.

I found them in college, not church (I am actually sort of spooked of churchgoing folks for a reason), not the ymca, not the gym, not the park, not a coffee shop, not a club but college. However if you have net met friends in college yet I am going to tell you something amazing, online friends count.

Yes those friends you made playing a MMO, chatting in a chat room, going on forums they are real friends even if they live far away.
Because the fact is friends are people who care about you, support you, like you for who you are, and want to hang out with you even if they can't due to issues of distance or time. I have been hurt more often by "friends" who are fake in real life than my online mates, in fact many of my online friends know me better than my real life ones. They have also known me longer, I have one that has stuck around for four years now and I can always count on to be there and understands that I am busy but I will always come back and if this friends needs me I will support him/her. I have others who will stick by me and I stick by them, and that is what friends do.

Jesus Christ nothing else to say on the subject get saved go to a church and become a Christian that is how I found friends.

Iam 26. When I was 19 I was jumped by a group of girls. My truck had been keyed...several times...A best friend of 11 yrs treated me very badly when a guy she had interest in, told her he was interested in me...she threatened me: end friendship. A friend between us, said she was was wrong for doing that to me...eventually she ditched me for the bad friend because ...we'll I don't know. I have been mistreated by woman In my family and friends. WOMAN Are lost. They picked up many traits from men...fighting / hostility/loose sexual partners. Men do not respect us. Other woman do not respect us. For this I believe women have lost their way....friends I keep at a safe distance....there are no true friends...I was a true friend ...now i am just an acquaintance ...I prefer this. Friends are extinct. They all want something...and if they don't get it??? They take revenge and throw your good name in the dirt...be happy with family.

Your words really resonate with me. Girls have lost their way, i like how you phrased that.

I met a girl while with a group of friends, and because I was so much as standing near a guy that she was interested in (at the time, her prospective bf was there), she was just scowling at me.

I don't have any real friends (I do not count online "friends") I am almost 40, I thought I had a friend, but she was treating me like crap, so I'm out. My husband is my friend, we are together (with our children, too)a lot. We love each other, laugh at each other's dumb jokes, I knit special things for him, he treats me well. I had an epiphany: I don't make or keep female friends at all easily. I'm an introvert, I enjoy being alone sometimes. *shrug* I'm done trying.

I know this is an old post, but i just wanted to say that you are lucky to have a family and children that love you. I'm 34 years old. I have no friends. I've never had a relationship. And i am truly alone. I never leave the house. I have nowhere to go. No one to see. My only contact with the world outside is via the internet. Take comfort in what you already have. It's more than some people will ever have in their lifetime. And you are so lucky to have it. Don't ignore it and miss it, simply because you are looking for more. Things could be so much worse, trust me. I hope you and your family are well x

It's lovely and genuine how you found kind words for someone else even though you're in pain.

Maybe we can be friends because I too I am 44 yo with no friends. Well I have a phone friend but that's not really the same so if you would like we can be friends. Reply soon and call me at 206-424-4443 or anybody here for that matter if your needing a friend bye

i am like you...no friends, or partner. i do get to leave the house though. it's lonely. sometimes i cry about it. so people who have a husband and family should really feel blessed

Hey, in our culture is almost like your situation. Once we are in a relationship (means having a boyfriends or husband) we will fully focused on it. Having friends to talk to is not that important anymore we can talk to our boyfriends/ husband almost anything. I don't mean that we cannot have friends or we don't need friends. It is just when you are in a relationship you simply don't have much time to spare for them. Furthermore, if your boyfriends is not the same circle of friends with yours.Well since you mentioned you don't have friends than I don't need to blah so much here about the "complicatedness" of friends charts. Anything that puzzle you please search GOOGLE. Just to add on.. long whine a bit here ..Most of the time your friend will change according to your age and the place you are in so please stop thinking of everlasting friendship or soul friends stuff. You can do better with your own and with your husband. At the age of 30 years old is really old enough to be independence and make your own decision and make plan for your life. Family comes first. You only need friends that will brings you benefit**. C'mon this is a reality world. Friends will not give you advice that really can helps you solve your problem or having the 100% heart to hear your whining they have their own problem to solved too they do not have any interest to listen to your problem or give you any brilliant advice! Don't expect that! Be happy that you are alive and you can watch all the funny stuff happens everyday. Appreciate with who you are and what you have. God bless you and be happy that you are married and have kids to accompany you! What else do you want ?? you already have it all!

You suffer from abandonment issues from childhood. Lack of nurturing, neediness, ect. It's a viscous cycle. You keep beating yourself up and put up defenses that protect you. On top of that you end up in situations that you know are going to reinforce your insecurities about yourself. Read journey from abandonment to healing. Great book. Let down your defenses. I talk from experience.

I want to thank Nicole for the post she made on how Dr Adams helped her in bringing back her lover before christmas. At first when i saw the posting i was so happy and in the other hand so scared,That this might not be real, Then i decided to give it a try in which i contacted Dr Adams and told him how my lover left me for another lady for the past 3years and i have been lonely and depressed without him,So i told him if he has helped anyone called Nicole and he said yes, that was the lady he helped in bringing back her lover before christmas. I said good and i told him that if he can help me in bringing back my own lover,He laughed and said once i have contacted him that my problem will be solved. He said that my lover will be back to me within 24hours and do an unexpected thing for me. i said really, Truly when the 24hours was completed i got a text from someone saying am sorry then i decided to call the number i saw it was my lover smith voice. I was so happy he was begging me on phone, That he is ready to do anything that will make me happy in life,So i told him to come over which he did,As he was coming he came with a brand new Car as gift i was so happy and made me had access to his account to prove to me that he is not going to leave me for another lady,Am so happy today and am also thanking Nicole for posting this early. Dr Adams you are truly a man of your word. He can also solve any kind of problems in this world. Friends you can contact Dr Adams on his private Email dradamsjohnsoncentre12@gmail . com

It all started earlier this year when my mother Natalie Capaldi was seeing Mr. Peter Nottle (her Bariatric Surgeon) down at his rooms in Williamstown and she was having a lot of issues with her bowel. Mr Nottle prescribed my mother with a bunch of strong prescription laxatives in the hope of it clearing her bowels cleanly. She tried all of the laxatives under the sun, she also had colon irrigation sessions performed where I took her down to have 10x 30 minute sessions and that ultimately only cleared part of her lower bowel and the rest was still stuck inside her upper colon and was told by them that it only cleared part of the lower part of the colon and she was to go to a colon specialist to clear the remainder of her upper bowel facets. Mr Nottle then requested that she have a colonoscopy down at Altona Endoscopy Centre to hopefully determine the reason why she was having these bowel issues. Once there they gave my mum the appropriate bowel prep, however, since my mum had already tried all of the strongest prescribed laxatives available she knew that their bowel prep would not make a modicum of difference in releasing her upper bowel. They then proceeded with the colonoscopy and to no avail were not able to find any results as all of the facets and matter were still encompassed inside my mum's upper colon, so no results were produced. We then went back to Mr. Peter Nottle(my mum's Bariatric Surgeon) and he then thought that he would try a soapy water enema flush which he thought would clear all of her upper bowel. He tried every avenue to try and fix my mum's colon issue. He knew a Nurse by the name of Burnedette who works @ the Alfred Hospital in Prahran, she deals with colon irriigations/enemas and we went and saw her and she gave my mum a soapy enema flush and once again to no avail my mum was not able to open her bowels to get rid of the rest of the facets stuck in her upper bowel. We then once again went back to Peter Nottle who was out of options on his part as he doesn't really specialise with this sort of stuff so he then referred my mum to Doctor Jin Cho (the Colorectal Specialist) @ the Western Health hospital in Footscray who should be able to assist my mum better. Mr Nottle did all he could do.

I then rang the Western Health hospital to orgainise an ambulance to pick up mum & I to go and see Mr Cho(mum's Colorectal Specialist) as my mum can't walk and get public transport to the hospital, she has to use an ambulance to get her to and from there whenever she has appointments as she is in a lot of pain and needs to be on a stretcher. Upon meeting my mum @ the Outpatients department earlier this year we explained to Mr. Cho that my mum has tried all of the strongest laxatives that Mr Nottle had prescribed, we explained how she went through 10 sessions of colon irrigations and after all of this she still hasn't cleared her upper bowel. As Mr Cho doesn't know my mum at this point (as we just met that day) he thought it would be best to start all over again and run sum tests along with some laxatives to see what it could do, even though my mum had told him that she had already tried all of that he insisted to retry them again and go from there. He then admitted my mum that afternoon into a ward at the Western Health hospital in Footscray to try more laxatives and to run a few tests to see how things went. At the initial consultation he said he would like to find the best possible cure for my mum's colon issue and said that if she was to have surgery that he wanted to conduct all of the relevant tests first to determine which type of surgery he was going to perform in order to correct this issue. My mum mentioned that she would like to have the stoma bag operation as she feels this would be the best way to avoid all of the strain on her lower bowel. Mr Cho said see how we go with all the tests first and hopefully after all of them have been conducted and reviewed that he would have a better picture and understanding of what my mum is going through. After about a week in hospital and running various tests and what have you Mr Cho said there was nothing he could do for her while she was in hospital to fix this issue, she will need to be discharged for the time being until he (Mr Cho) follows up on some more tests my mum can do. Mr Cho then contacted us to return to the Western Health, we went by ambulance once again and he then prepped my mum to have a series of tests, namely another colonoscopy (despite the first one failing), a small and large bowel study & finally after some months later he got her to have a desiccating proctagram which he told my mum that this would be the last test to determine why she has been going through all of these bowel problems.

About one month and a half after my mum had the desiccating proctagram we were once again brought by ambulance to the Outpatients department @ Western Health Footscray to once again meet with Mr Cho to discuss ALL of the test results my mum conducted over the course of the year, nearly 12 long months of tests and finally Mr Cho had come up with a solution. By this stage we were told that the lazy bowel we once suspected my mum had was really a badly bent pelvic floor muscle which prevents my mum in opening her bowels properly and effectively. Happiness settled in when Mr Cho presented my mum with two solutions to fix this issue with her bent pelvic floor muscle. The first was to realign and straighten the floor muscle itself in surgery and she could then continue using her bowel or the other option which my mum really opted for was for the stoma bag operation. Mr Cho asked my mum which she preferred to which she replied the stoma bag operation as she was worried if he did the straightening of the pelvic floor muscle that this may once again become bent and she would need to revisit Mr Cho to have this corrected once again. Upon hearing this and with Mr Cho's lady assistant present he then drew up the elective surgery consent form for my mum to sign. She then signed the legal consent form for her to be put on the elective surgery list in front of Mr Cho and his assistant. Prior to this appointment I will importantly mention that Mr Cho in fact in anticipating my mum going for the stoma bag operation got her to see a stoma nurse in hospital at one of the previous outpatient appointments and she gave my mum a pack containing a DVD, some vital information about the stoma bag operation as well as some sample stoma bags to take home. He was very pleased when we motioned to Mr Cho that it was good that we saw the stoma nurse prior to this appointment in reference to the stoma bag operation and Mr Cho once again echoed that they had to conduct ALL of the relevant tests in order to determine which procedure would be best for my mum's colon well being. She signed the form in front of them (both Mr Cho and his assistant) as I said, we were brought back by ambulance and about a week later we got a letter from the hospital confirming that my mum has been placed on the waiting list, however, after close examination of the letter we saw that Mr Cho had put my mum on category 3 which is the non-urgent category, at the last appointment that we saw Mr Cho he said that the cancer patients would have to be operated on first and said that he would prefer doing the operation on my mum himself as he has gotten to know my mum throughout the duration of the year conducting and reviewing the tests, however, he also said that if my mum would like another surgeon to perform the surgery that she could elect to get one and it would be done much sooner. Since my mum is in a lot of pain and needs to have this operation a lot sooner I rang up the hospital and got in touch with Shane Smith who is the Patient Liason Officer who supposedly supposed to take care of all patients complaints and issues. I spoke to Shane in reference to the category 3 issue that Mr Cho had put her on and explained to him that my mum is in a lot of pain and has endured nearly a whole year of tests to get her to get the stoma bag operation and asked Shane if he could speak with the head of the colorectal unit who is Ian Faragar and he could speak to him in fastening the time for my mum to have the operation. I explained to Shane the amount of pain my mum was and is still in and how she is bed ridden and can't move around much and is struggling in going to the toilet and for him to explain to Ian to tell him if he can override Mr Cho's category 3 placement and in getting my mum to come in for surgery sooner. I left him my number he said to leave it with him and he will see what he can do.

About one week later I get the phone call back from Shane expecting him to give me some good news about the speed up for my mum's surgery, instead he informs me that he had a lengthy talk to Ian Faragar (the community advisor)in reference to my mum's surgery and he informed Shane(the hospital liaison)that my mum (without proper grounds mind you) has been removed from the elective surgery list to have the stoma bag operation as they all (from our knowledge behind Mr Cho's(Mum's Colorectal Surgeon) back also discussed it between all of the colorectal doctors and Shane(hospital liaison) said that they felt in their opinion without even meeting my mum, knowing about her condition that she didn't need it as they have had a lot of years of experience in these cases and felt that despite us telling Mr Cho and Shane that my mum is in a lot of pain and can't move, she even had to quit her gym) she should go to a continence clinic in Sunshine and there they will do pelvic floor exercises to help 'loosen' my mum's bowels. All of this after all the reports state that my mum is not in a physical state to be doing any type of exercise. Mr Peter Nottle himself instructed my mum to cease from going to the gym, she is really in bad way physically and they had the gumption to send my mum in all the physical pain she is in to a exercise colon clinic to 'help fix her issues.' I explained all of this to Shane to which he answered that it was out of his hands and there was nothing he can do. He said we can try and go to another hospital and get a 'second opinion'. After all the tests and finally Mr Cho comes up with the solution of the stoma bag operation, my mum signs the consent form to be put on the list and is swiftly removed just because somebody had an opinion about my mum, knowing they don't even know her and know what she is going through.

Update: On Thursday the 19th of December, '13 we were once again brought back to the hospital by ambulance to see Mr. Cho about everything that has happened to my mum. What we didn't know is that Shane Smith was also going to be in the room with Mr. Cho. We went in to see both of them asking them for reasons why ,y mum was taken off the waiting list without proper grounds. For the record I taped this conversation that day and have it on my iPhone for you to listen to at some point. Anyway we went in and saw them and the first thing they did was put the full blame on me. Because my mum's condition had been worsening since we saw Mr. Cho at the last appointment were my mum signed the legal consent to be put on the waiting list I brought it upon myself to try and get in touch with Mr Cho to explain that my mum's condition has worsened and every person I spoke to kept throwing me around to different people associated with Mr Cho, I spoke to a nurse who was on the same ward of where Mr Cho operates, I spoke to her about my mum's condition, I asked if she could explain all of this to Mr Cho and when he is free could he please give me a call so I can explain this all to him. After a few days of not hearing from Mr Cho I re rang the hospital to try and get to that nurse again to follow up about our conversation, I couldn't get in touch with her so they put me through to Mr Cho's registrar and I explained it all to him about my mum and he said he will see what he could do about the circumstance and said that he will ty and get Mr Cho to call me. I didn't hear back from Mr Cho in the end but all I was doing was explaining how serious my mum's condition was to that nurse and Mr Cho's registrar but at the appointment on the 19th of December, '13 Mr Cho said 'I was a nighty boy' and that I have been 'causing trouble' of all the phone calls I was making to the hospital about trying to explain to them how serious my mum's condition is and of they can do anything to try and help her to get her surgery sooner and according to Mr Cho he says that that was 'annoying' when all I was doing was defending my mum trying to explain to them how serious her condition hasn't gotten and they took that as an offence, mind you Mr Cho had been saying that he was going to 'look after' my mum and not to worry about anything. According to Mr Cho he said that because I was 'causing trouble' with all the calls that they have re reviewed my mum's case and have come to the decision that because I kept making calls (I only made a few because I was concerned about my mum's condition and only wanted to bring it to their attention, not be annoying) Mr Cho said that the whole team re viewed it and looked at all the tests and said that they felt that she didn't need the operation and it wouldn't benefit her despite Mr Cho being in full agreement to perform the operation at our last outpatients appointment. They then said that the discussion was over and asked my mum and I to leave, basically washing their hands of my mum's case.

Me Natalie of 53yrs of age & my son Peter of 28yrs of age don't have close family members to turn to. I have suffered 4 more than a year with a Bent Pelvic Floor Muscle that I can't push out my stools properly & I am bedridden &. disabled & my 28yr old son Peter is living with me here in Australia & is my Carer. Even both of us have been trying 2 find good Christian friends have been very difficult to find them because the so called Christians make every excuses that they are busy & have work commitments as well as their church commitments & so on & so on.we have been Isolated true born Christians for 8yrs without any family or friends knowing we exist. We have prayed about this situation as well as reading the Bible but no-one intervened. WHERE HAS CHRISTIANITY GONE TODAY? Bible without our brothers & sisters is DEAD.

We both are feeling increased stress and anxiety over this situation.

Despairingly blaming the so called Believers for our inability to meet our unrealistic needs.

We are feeling everything is out of control, and don't see a way out because of Christian's lack of support.

We are feeling loss of energy and constant feeling of exhaustion, emotionally and physically.

We are feeling helpless, hopeless, or on the verge of tears often.

I Natalie have a great loss of interest in my appearance and grooming because of my illness.

We both have change in sleep patterns & sleeplessness as staying up all night.

We both are scattered in our thinking & inability to concentrate, & trapped in constantly circular thinking.

Feeling increasingly very hurt by the way Christians have treated us.

Very isolated & being rejected 4 help because of so called Christian's excuses being busy & not having the time 2 help us etc...

Not having any energy walking because of my situation.
Inability to relax.

I'm having increasing thoughts of death

Its affecting my health & well-being.


2. The Carnal Christian “Brothers, I could not

“No one from my church visited me & my son in our time of need."

Everyone needs a little help at sometime in their life. Why have these so called Christians judge at our point of crisis?

I have helped many people through tough times in their life in my Christian walk. It has now come to my tough time. I am struggling to find the strength to carry on, and are any of the so called Christian people have helped in my lifetime there to offer help to me? No!

We live in a selfish society where everyone only cares about themselves. I am very disheartened to think that there is no-one willing to help me & my son. I have begged for help but no one listens. Even though I have prayed about this many times.

Truly, the "love of money" is the root of the so called Christian's evil. Most so-called "Christian" publishers and "Christian" TV producers dip their sails in compromise to make more money. Most Christians have been "inoculated." They listen to Christian words put to the devil’s music and call it “Christian Rock." But when it comes to a brother & sister's needs they handball u 2 the Bible & say "Jesus will help you."

This whole mess has become a big money-making machine; it’s all about money. You can’t listen to a so-called "Christian" radio/TV program without someone trying to sell you something. All these new perversions of the Bible on the market are all copyrighted. This alone should show you the nature of their business—money, money, money.

What's Behind the Church Walls?

Where is the believer's light on CHRISTIANITY?

One of the biggest problems with Christians today is that they are hiding their light within the church walls (in a "secret place" as mentioned in Luke 11:33). "Secret place" simply means "hidden place". Why would a person light a candle and then cover it? Or in today's thinking, why would you turn on a lamp and then cover it with a box? It is just as ridiculous for a child of God to hide their light from the world. Most believers know the Biblical teaching of the candle being hid under the bushel, but the true meaning just doesn't register. There are churches all across Australia that meet a couple times a week behind closed doors and the local community has NO IDEA what the church believes. Their candle (light) is well hid.

Most Churches operate like the occult

Do you know what the definition of "occult" is?

OCCULT: Become concealed or hidden from view or have its light extinguished

I hate to say it, but it needs to be said...most churches operate more like occult organizations than they do local New Testament churches. Church members all across America think they only go to church to "worship" God. Show me that in the Bible. Believers are supposed to worship God at all times. Australian churches have fallen into the lie of the devil that believers shouldn't FORCE their beliefs upon other people. This is simply not true. Christians are supposed to stand up against the evil doers...

"Who will rise up for me against the evildoers? or who will stand up for me against the workers of iniquity?" -Psalm 94:16

"Who will rise up for me against the evildoers? or who will stand up for me against the workers of iniquity?" -Psalm 94:16

I am saying that most churches operate like the occult. Most communities across Australia know as much about their local church as they do. I believe that every community in Australia should know clearly what their local New Testament church stands for and believes. Will this make some people angry? Of course, but that should not be a factor because God has commanded believers to stand up against evil and iniquity.

Christian Churches today are mainly concerned about making money and going through the religious motions, but their candle is well hidden. When God says in 2nd Timothy 3:12, "Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution." If you are not experiencing persecution in this apostate world, then you are not living godly in Christ Jesus.

A Christ-honoring Church Stirs Things Up with the Truth

The early church in the Book of Acts was rocking the boat. They were making people angry by preaching the truth. Some people were martyred, willing to die for the cause of Christ. In acts 19:19 many who had been involved with the occult brought their "curious arts" and burned them in a bonfire. The worth of the books and items were 50,000 pieces of silver (about $48,000 in today's value, and millions in Bible times). A piece of silver was a day's wage in the New Testament.

The local idol makers were so enraged at Paul, that the other believers had to keep him from the angry mob waiting to tear him to pieces (Acts 19:30). This is what the truth does friend, it puts the beer companies out of business. It puts the pornographic perverts out of business. It shuts down the taverns and ***** houses. The truth cleans up the community. It cause women to keep their babies instead of murdering them. It puts the Rosary makers out of business. It puts the palm readers, Tarot card readers, and psychics out of business. It puts the Godless video game makers out of business. It puts Godless Hollywood and Devilish Walt Disney out of business. It puts the gambling casinos out of business. The truth puts the ***** joints and nightclubs out of business. Praise God, when Jesus returns at the Second Coming, He will put all these evil people out of business!!!

Please notice that the early believers didn't just preach a salvation message. The Apostle Paul preached about all the things concerning the kingdom of God (Acts 19:8). I actually had a preacher tell me, that when I came to his church, he only wanted me to preach a "salvation message." He didn't like me teaching that all modern Bibles are corrupt. He didn't like when I preached against liquor. He didn't like when I preached against bars and nightclubs. He didn't like when I exposed the lies of Roman Catholicism. And he hated when I preached with zeal and fervor. He actually accused me of shouting at the people from the pulpit. I was shouting at anybody, I was zealously proclaiming the truth with excitement. I don't know about you, but I get exciting knowing that I have found the truth in Christ Jesus.

Until Christ returns, believers are responsible to stand against the evils of their day (Psalm 94:16). The truth will make people angry. The truth will cause others to come to God in repentance. The truth is emotional. The truth demands an answer. The truth cannot be ignored forever. The truth is the truth! 2nd Thessalonians 2:10 tells us that we should receive the love of the truth. Do you love the truth? Now, You don't like to know of bad things, but you need to know the truth. You must know the truth!

A lot of so called Believers are Preaching Lies

So many Christians have their own concepts of what the Bible teaches. Obviously, some are correct and others are very wrong. Truth is intolerant! 2 + 2 = 4. You can sincerely believe that 2 + 2 = 5, but you are dead wrong. There is no compromise, there is no diversity. The modern-day neo-evangelical church preaches a watered-down gospel, but little else. This is the crowd that says it really doesn't matter which Bible you use. They don't fuss over MAJOR doctrinal differences such as the blood of Jesus, etc. Basically, they are a liability to the name of Christ.

Most Christians Don't Care About the Truth

The problem with many Christians is that they either don't care about the truth or they don't preach the truth outside of the church walls. It's critical that Australian churches get riled up about the truth and proclaim it uncompromisingly and without apology. The problem with most Christians is that they're at ease on Zion, complacent in their salvation...

"How shall they escape, if they neglect so great salvation..." -Hebrews 2:3

God saved believers to do more than fill up 18 inches of pew. The problem with most Christians today is that they're "sitting on the premises" instead of "standing on the promises." The world needs the true people of God not only ministering the word but the DOER by putting it into practice such as physically helping people in need of housework & other chores or support them in their CRISIS etc...

I am in so many tears ,& I need your support in what I need 2 do in this situation. I am still communicating with our Lord Jesus, but he is not 2 blame it's the so called Christian's hearts that have hardened & made that CHOICE in not helping me & my son in our CRISIS !

Unfortunately, there are many needy people in this planet such as me & my son,some with very complicated problem situations involving emotional and physical issues leading to a lifetime of baggage; some requiring professional help.

Australia unfortunately has plenty of so called pastors who can lead from a platform through teaching and preaching but do little else to connect with their people throughout the week. It seems to me that the church has developed most of its programs around “come to us” in stead of the mandate to “go and multiply”? Multiply leaders who will go outside the walls of the church 168 hours each week to meet people such as me & my son where they can meet our needs, but NO their JOBS & CHURCH CONFERENCES etc are their main focus instead if the NEEDY !!!

My son & I have been trying to get across that people such as ourselves need to be called or ministered to some way throughout the week. My son & I have been going through a life crises, several all at once, and did not feel support from all the so called Christian Churches in Australia in which my son & I were previously attending. Someone would ask how my son & I are & I would say I'm in pieces, but they didn’t seem to care enough to follow up. My son & I were yearning for someone, anyone, to connect with, period, and especially emotional support throughout the week in what my son & I are going thru, but the so called Christians are blind to when my son & I are in need. I think unless you’ve been in those shoes, you don’t know what to do. Love is the key. Love as Jesus did. And Jesus didn’t only love on Sundays when churches have SUNDAY Services . He didn’t even wait for people to “come” to him. He went “out” to the people. Why aren't Christians coming out 2 visit the people in need instead if making excuses they are BUSY or have other commitments?

"There is a generation, whose teeth are as swords, and their jaw teeth as knives, to devour the poor from off the earth, and the needy from among men." —Proverb 30:14

My son & I need your support here, & a lot of your advice how our so called Australian Christians won't come out to visit me & my son, even though my son had told them that I can't move & in a lot of pain & bedridden they didn't give a dam !!!

Plz don't even try 2 pray 4 us as we have prayed on our situation 4 over 2 yrs & don't even bother giving me any of your bible scriptures so that u will wash your hands from me & my son as in God's word it says if your brother or sister is in crisis u need 2 give support not only thru the Bible & Prayer but in ACTION!! FAITH WITHOUT WORKS SUCH AS PUTTING INTO PRACTICE IS SIMPLY DEAD!!!!

Christian Support dosen't exist anymore, so plz give us good advice what my son & I need 2 do, as we are both very isolated here on our own with no family or friends as people in our area stick 2 themselves & don't care, but opening a Bible & only praying 2 God isn't enough 4 me & my son as God tells us we also need the fellowship of our brothers & sisters, but where are they? Even though my son has called every church in Australia not one Christian has come forward from the will of God 2 help us even though my son told them that I'm bedridden they didn't give a dam & made every excuse 2 get out of it.

Please, you are our last resort in how 2 go about this situation in getting Christians coming 2 our house 4 MORAL SUPPORT as well as SPIRITUAL SUPPORT such as praying with us & spending quality time with us etc. Does that mean that if u are born again & are isolated fully with no one caring about u that my son & I will go 2 hell, even though we are still SAVED? Because that's how I feel right now, & very isolated & I still talk 2 God, but God to me isn't enough without the Christians by my side, but I can't force them if they don't want 2 be my friend & I asked The Lord the same thing about why Christians choose not 2 help or support us in our time of CRISES.

Without becoming very emotional....that was beautifully stated!! I have felt your pain for many years. I am 46 and have 3 children; 23, 20, 11... lived in the same city for 24 years and really do not have anyone I can call a true friend. We have had some (3) but they move away....take on another life form....or just grow apart. Most people we call a friend or acknowledge as such is just by association anymore.

We raised our children by ourselves, we do not have family anywhere near by. During this journey we decided to foster children. We started with 2 foster children in the first 3 months and just could not say "no" and found ourselves with 3 biological children and 6 foster....it grew to a staggering 9 children for six years. We loved it!!! Who needed friends when you had an army of little people that needed you and loved you for who you were. We attempted to adopt twice during that 6 year period, but it just was not in gods plans. We are no longer foster...about 2 1/2 years now. We now only have our 11yr old left in the nest. We stay in touch with our older foster children and expect to hear from the younger ones once technology allows it.
I loved your story!!! I really needed a good read to night and I never thought I would have found it this way. I am actually looking at going back into the work force after being home all these years and having hurdle after hurdle in this economy. So I went online to inquire about accounting courses, but was feeling silly and Googled...what should I do when I grow up @ 47....It linked me to your story....Thank you for taking the time to share such an intimate piece of your life.

Add a response...

I am 27 years old and I feel so alone at times. I have a 3 year old daughter who has a speech delay and that really kills my spirit because I wanna be able to have a conversation with my daughter but I can't. I haven't had a friend in the last 6 years. My last good friend moved to Atlanta and I'm still here alone and feeling hopeless sometimes. I do think I've done something to God and he's punishing me but I ask for forgiveness all the time. I'm not a saint but I treat people the way I want to be treated. I've never had a boyfriend I don't call my past endeavors relationships because they were to me relationships but not to the male if that makes sense. When I was in high school I never had this problem. But since I've been an adult it seems that potential companions always wanna lie to me for no reason. I don't come to them they come to me. I feel that the best relationship should be based on honesty and trust. If you don't have that it wont be a successful relationship but I just feel so sad sometimes. Cause I do wanna have a friend to hang out with. And when I listen to old love songs they make falling in love seem like something everyone should experience and I wanna know what love is. I've always felt like that since I was a teenager. I'm not going to say I couldn't get a guy I just wish I could meet my enchanted love someone who I know is meant for me and not try to force anything because when its forced its not genuine.
God Bless everyone

I am a 34 year old disabled woman. I had a normal life growing up and then I thought I was grown when I graduated high school in '97 and moved to NY with a classmate. I had my good times and bad times. I have always hung out with people outside my race. I made friends with just about everyone from every race. I made close friends with this beautiful interesting caucasian lady. We worked together and spent alot of time together. I met her entire family and they all seemed to approve of me. I startee dating one of her brothers. He is older than me. We have been through alot since people know we were together. So to get away from all that hatred, I moved back home to SC. My friend kept in touch. She said her brother misses me. So he moved to SC. We got married and then found out I was expecting. My father-in-law was sick before we met. He ended up passing away and my husband had to go back to NY for the funeral. He never returned. So me and my family were there for the birth of my daughter.

Winsome Green. Hi. My life story is strangely enough pretty similar to yours. I too have no friend's, although it's not such a hardship to me that much, although ( most of the time, their Dad comes & goes, single Mum ), it's difficult being ostracized for my children's sakes, I don't want my Son or Daughter to go through such a lonely hard life as I've been through. I'm 40. Their Dad's 50 this year, but acts 19 most of the time & is an ageing, but never changing pyschobilly. I'm to a degree a non conformist because my life has dictated that I be that way & I like who I am ( that's important - I've had to learn the hard way over the years to be gentle with myself ) & my children are great. They're both loved equally & are my everything. My Son is nearly 11, my Daughter nearly 9 & parenting can be an enormous struggle sometimes, especially when you're public enemy No 1. I don't get alot of respect from my Son ( he's still great though! ) & I can't seem to sort out his attitude problems at home. I blame myself & actually their school. I do not trust them. Anyway desperation with no friend's to talk over our problems with & my Mum getting too old for all of it ( we hardly see her anymore too & they hardly ever see their Dad's Mother ), I went to seek some help as I want our homelife, albeit a different one than the norm, textbook ( we're not robots you know ) home, a happy home & a support worker visited me today. I pretty much told her everything she needs to know to work with us & help us. It was difficult trusting her, I drummed it into her that I just need a little help & I pray to Jesus that's all we receive. I do not need anymore harassment from society. I am a good mother that needs some issues sorted & just because I've found myself in a situation that I need some assistance from her,she'd better not take advantage of this & turn on us, because if life hasn't taught me anything else, is that I read people extremely well, so she better be all above board & I just hope for my family's sake, us who are quite isolated, get the help we need & I value our privacy because we don't blady get none - small community, but my children thankfully do have their friend's at school, life hasn't been too harsh on them in that respect. What am I talking about, the past couple of years has been really harsh on them due to our neighbours & what they did to us. Shocking, police everything, but things there have quietened down & now our problems in home are due to the knock on effect the past few yrs has had on them.Writing all this doesn't feel particularly good, sharing it, I just happened to stumble on WG & felt inspired to try & communicate our experience, my experiences, I could go on & on, I haven't really told you anything yet apart from the lonely life I've led, the majority of the time. No hardship there, I'm used to it now, feel a little upset at having to get outside help in, but hopefully that will be positive for us as a family, together! & not have a negative impact on us 3, actually plus their dad too, who also is a social outcast, so he's on the same raft. Good luck & all God's blessings too all out there who feel isolated & misunderstood.Peace, let's get outta here, word to your brother. ( Me & their Dad used to love that song! ) But must say - power of music, I love my music, dance dance wherever you may be, I am the Lord of the dance said he & I'll lead you all wherever you may be & I'll lead you all in the dance said he. Amen.Going a little bonkers now, I am cream crackered ( knackered ), thank you for this thread, Wynsome Green! x

Hello everyone. I don't know what to say. .. there's nothing so perSonal as one's pain. I guess my story is pretty similar to many of your own. I'm a woman in my 30s who has zero friends, no children, no husband, no boyfriend. I do have a close relationship with my father who raised me. I have no cousins with whom i have a relationship except for one i just met for the first time this year. I have no real relationships with any other family for my lifetime so far. I don't understand how life can be made to be so thoroughly empty. I try to continue living. I know that God loves me. It's just hard, you know? THis blog is bitter sweet. .. There are so many of us that this conversation has been going on for years. Well, i suppose that's it for now. I wish you all the strength to keep trying at life.

girl you have companionship. you have a husband. something somebody like me don't.I have two kids no husband, no place to live. why don't shut up and be happy you're married. many women don't have that.

Just because she may have a husband doesn't mean that her life still doesn't feel empty. I hope you and your children find a place to stay God Bless...

I feel the same way. I only have male friends who just wanna bang me. N my only friends from highschool moved away which was a guy friend. My other friend cindy was just user. N I let her use me all the time. It was only her and I. She finally got a boyfriend/husband n threw every1 away. As a friend. I'm currently looking for work. Cuz previously I had a stalker. Who I married right away, bc of good sex. N I thought I was in love. He eventually strangled me n kicked my car mirrors off. Bc I wasn't allowed to have anything. I was abused n stalked by my estranged husband. N I was never allowed to work. He just used me for my car. Damaged it. N burned down my garage. Trying to ruin everything I had for some reason. I got out of that relationship where I was even manipulated by his own father. How dumb of me. I can never be perfect. The people who hurt me the most seem so nice in the beginning.

I feel this way too . Though my problem is I have no female friends. i have too many male friends,but nothing replaces a bond two women can have.

I have guy friends who only wanna have sex with me. N no woman friends what's so ever. Women my age stare n point. N older women think I'm cool. Go figure

Host the gatherings yourself! people will invite you to things if you invite them to your things. Be a friend, and you'll have friends. Friendships are things you have to work on and keep going yourself. For example, the other parents of kids at the kinder, or school; get to know them, invite them around, show interest in them. Friendships are not about you, they are about the other person. Find out what's going on in their lives, ask them about those things and follow up on them too. That way, they know you are interested and want to know, and they will share things with you too. Keep talking to them, keep up with what's happening with them. Invite them around!

What is a speedbar? You can add me if you like and I'll be friends with you as long as you don't invite me over to fix your toilet.

Mind if I copy and paste this into my status on facebook? I swear, it sounds just like me! I'd have to leave out the part about being pregnant and a female, but everything else fits! Ya know, I don't get it either. My wife tells me, "Honey, I'm sure there's lots of people like you out there in the world." Now, I know she's right. What's weird is that people tell me what a great guy I am. My students like me. My co-workers like me. (Except this one guy and I'd rather it stay that way.) My bosses seem to like me and everyone on my Facebook page always pipes up to to ask to remain on my page when I threaten to cut'em loose (Can we say "insecure"?) But that's the only time I really ever hear from half of them, right! I'm fifty years old now and I really don't want a bunch of people around me twenty-four-seven like the old days. But, that cup of coffee thing...I need that. So, what the hell do we do? I'd rather be re-circumcised than join the Sunday church circles or hang around in an old fogey bar, but I know I need to do something. I'll keep ya posted!

I'm 32 and no friends,..there so fake now days I don't think we're missing nothing. ?.if only I could find a REAL friend

I will be your friend!!

I too want to be your friend

I'm so sorry. I will say volunteering and church are good places to meet people. As someone who's had tons of women float in and out of my life, I will say this. 1. Quality over quantity. I recently got rid of a group of friends who were frequently unsupportive, talked about me behind my back, and made life miserable. It's better to be alone than have loads of drama!
2. As you do more things you love and invest in yourself, your confidence will attract people who love the real you.
3. How people treat you is a reflection of who they are, not who you are.
4. Many women want friends who are doing what they are doing. Be you!

Praying really good friends come your way, not just people to take up time or space or create drama in your life. :)

I am a 40+ immigrant from middle east to Australia, I look normal ( not impressively pretty ) , I live alone all my family is still in middle east , no friends , never heard a flirt , never had a love text message , have no reason to live for

I can be your friend I'm Shawn 54 yr old male from Southern cal

Confidence and consideration building while your family is young usually helps to produce 'Nice' children. Always being approachable and chatty helps a lot. There will always be those who are beyond your reach. Maybe brighter and more engaging than you. You can envy them always being the center of attention or you can do everything you can to keep in touch with your own old friends by traveling miles to see them and insist they come and stay over for a night to see a good play you'd both like etc.. My wife still arranges weekends away for her old friends and also classmates from way back in nursing school fifty years ago. A really good friend should be a friend for life. Stop moaning on about them moving away. There’s a thing called a telephone, a very useful ‘e-mail system’, and ‘facebook’ that I play 'Scrabble' with old friends on, even if you’re a bit afraid of Skype’, which is popular with many modern children who would probably love you taking a little interest in them and show you care about them. Communicate girl, you’re still young, and hopefully find an interesting reason to go to visit them. The only place to enjoy your job is to find a company where their employees are nice happy AND friendly. If they are not you must move on. No matter how attractive the pay and benefits may seem, the price you are paying has little to do with money.

I am 49 and only have virtual friends. I no longer trust apply in fl. Even tho perfect strangers have no problem telling me their deepest secrets. I would like a girlfriend to confide in. Sadly I don't think I will ever have a real friend to even just have lunch with. You wouldn't guess this if you met me I look like a woman who has it all.


I can relate to your story. I grew up in an abusive home. I grew up knowing what a stupid waste of air I was. Obviously, that is what I projected all through school. I'd have a best friend and then they would hate me and I wouldn't know why. I spent elementary school alone and embarrassed. High school was better, but I turned to boys for attention. I always had to have a boyfriend.

What I really wanted to tell you about your kids is this: If you love them and make them feel like they are special, they will do great! I'm sure you tell your kids how wonderful they are. They'll believe it and that will carry them through life. It's ok to be different. Give your kids what your mom did not give you. I have four kids. None of them have the terrible upbringing I had and they are all doing great! They have lots of friends. People like them. They're confident because my husband and I have told them their whole lives that they are smart, funny, handsome, beautiful. I don't have friends, but I'm a product of my childhood. I don't believe in myself, even after all these years. I fake it most of the time. Just be there for your kids and you'll see how great they'll do!

Maybe they were jealous of you. Men tend to be less judgmental .I bond easier with men also.

I am so sad and lonely.....
I cry every day.
I was fired from my job, in 2009.
My husband is a big boss there and wouldn't even support me. No one there did.
My husband rarely supports me.
My mother and father and brother supported me.
I lost my 89 yr old Daddy, Nov 25, 2012.
I loved him so much and continued to tell him as I held his hand until he took his last breath.
My 59 yr old brother hung himself 2 wks later, on Dec 10, 2012.
I loved him so much. I can't believe he left me. I saw him and talked to him a few hours before he "left."
I feel so bad.
I had no idea.
I didn't realize he was even sadder and more depressed than me.
I never got to say goodbye.
I never got to hold his hand, and comfort him, and tell him that I love him......I feel so bad.
If I had known what he was going to do, I would have done anything to stop him.
I would give my own life for his.
I lost my 87 yr old Mama, Mar 19, 2013.
I loved her so much and continued to
tell her as I held her hand until she took
her last breath.
I lost my mama and my daddy and my brother.
I lost my 3 best friends.
I haven't got any friends like other people do.
I do have one more friend though.
I have a brother that wants to be a cowboy when he grows up. He can tell you anything you want to know about any President and lots of facts about lots of singers. He loves his Birthday and looks forward to the arrival of Santa every year.
He was born with the cord wrapped around his neck 3 times and his tongue was fused inside his mouth. The Dr told Mom and Daddy that he would never walk or talk. The Dr told them to put him in an institution, that he would be a vegetable.
Mom and Daddy loved him.
They took him home and loved him even more.
He walked at 3 yrs old and talked at 5 yrs old.
He was born Jan 30, 1955.
He is 58 yrs old.
I love him so much.
I'm his little sister and I take care of him.
My brother that "left" used to help me take care of all 3 of them.......
Now the state wants to take away Mom and Daddy's house and assets, all of which are very meager.
I used all of my savings getting them out of debt.
I cry every day.
Sometimes I cry ALL day, EVERY day.
I love them all so much.
I miss Mama and Daddy and my brother so much.
I'm a 55 yr old nobody.
I am so sad and so lonely.

Just me

Please don't reply to the email address that I give.... It only goes to my husband

You have a friend in me

Well, one thing, don't tell this story ever again! Make up a new one. A better one and feel free to email me anytime you need to talk to someone. NOTE: I've never told anyone else to "feel free" to email me. Loneliness is in our minds. We just need someone to emotionally vomit in front of from time to time. Have a good one!

Hello, you don't know me, but i feel very sad for you, i wish you well. Keep living life, use love, stay with your younger brother.
I am 12.
Oh.. and p.s. join a support group, i helps and there are very good therapists that can listen to your story, support you... try to find one on google, i bet there are some for free. :)

Hi Wyn.

This resonated so much with me it brought a tear to my eye. This is exactly how I feel. I am desperately lonely, constantly in somewhat existential depression/nihilist phase.

Going to movies alone sucks, eating out alone is embarrassing, and trying dance classes, or any other activity is lonely.

I don't know what to do.

I understand how you feel. I am a 55 year old woman and I have no friends at all outside my family. Every time I meet other women, its good for a couple of weeks and then they start to avoid me. I guess I give off vibes like I don't need people or maybe they think that I'm needy (which I don't feel I act like that). I don't have a significant other so people also infer they think I'm gay (I'm not). If you do a search of the internet on "women with no friends" which I did and got this post on you, you will find there on tons of women just like you and me with no friends. I am sorting through accepting this situation in my life. I feel that I have a lot to offer in friendship. Most of my alleged "friends" over the years were just women who used me for money or what every they could get out of me anyway. Who needs that? Also, there is a part of me who feels that friendship now a days is overrated. Just look at Facebook. Everyone wants to be your friend just so they can brag about how many connections they have. In fact, from what I read you are lucky that you have a husband and kids. Let them be your friends. Wish you well. GG

Hey I can relate I am 48 it is so hard to make new friends at this age if you wish I will be your friend

I will be your friend too

I have one friend and his name is Jesus. Whenever I feel lonely and alone, I kneel and call on Jesus. After I pray, a sense of calmness comes over me and I feel at peace. I know am a person with a big heart; I have reach the point now an tell myself, the less friends I have, means I have Jesus all to myself. That makes me very happy.

You got that right. It is only my faith in Jesus that gives me solace. With his love I can withstand "no friends" on planet Earth :)

I read this and the other such experiences and I understand I am not the only one who thinks so. It is hard to make and keep real meaningful friends especially when you move a lot. And guess what when I finally stayed for years in a place two of my friends had to move and I lost some to other reasons. Life keeps going on you make some you loose some. I am just happy I have a husband to live with. Even though at times I tell him I want to be alone. I guess every situation has two sides.

2 More Responses

Il b ur friend lady I also turn 31 in september

I am 56. I have a small circle of friend --- yep singular. I have been with the same woman for almost 30 years and we have a son. So I am similar to you. I also have aspergers and do not do people well, but I do the physical world well. Frankly, people do not interest me that much.

A major problem that I have with most people is that if you disagree with their ideas, especially their core belieft, they consider it a personal attack on them. They want to talk about sports, or the weather, or what they ate, or other mundane drivel. Most of what passes for social interatction is nothing more than chimps grooming each other. Booooooorrrring

Find some sites where ideas are vigourously exchanged and debated. Find sites where people passionately do activities like hiking. Find something to engage your mind. Maybe, like me, you have aspergers. Visit wrongplanet.net

Do not just be. Do!!

Hi, my name is Christine and I would like to ask you what your interests in life might be? And if you have a computer at home then you have access to people who are looking to friend you as well. I recommend searching" Meetups.com ' in your area. Groups of people who love dining and dancing and walking and movies and bowling and just plain socializing!!!! You can sign up with these groups (as many as you wish) 10 to 100 miles away and even in your own town!!! I love my friends from my favorite meetup and appreciate the organizer...which brings me to say...if you don't have a meetup near you then start one yourself on Meetups.com...they are more then willing to help you connect with people!!! Good luck and God Bless you my friends!!!!

This is a sad, but familiar story. My heart breaks for you. I too grew up without friends and today only have one friend who I see about twice a year. I have many people I know and get along with at work, but no true friends. No one comes to our house either. We call ourselves the Outcasts because we are never invited to anything. My only consolation is my daughter. I made it my mission to get her included. I have her in school clubs, soccer, 4H, Girl Scouts, and volunteering at the local animal shelter. She doesn't like it sometimes, but I see how her life is vastly different from mine. She has friends! She knows lots of people and her self-esteem has grown leaps and bounds. If you can help your kids in anyway; I would say get them involved in anything they like or might like. You are in my thoughts. :)

I'm crying so hard, your story is mine...just one friend. I'm watching my children grow up without friends too and it breaks my heart. I don't know what's wring with me.

How depressing. Everyone has problems but not having any friends or family to talk to has to be unbearable. Maybe you do truly need to move. Also are you too giving? Are you negative?these things can turn off people or just make them take advantage. Are there any mommy groups that you have tried? It's a big and small world but there friends for everyone. Good luck

I grew up in a poor family in an area of rich people. Our closest neibour was the brother to the premier. His oldest daughter was my age and she teased me at school. I had to wear second hand clothes to school. I would make friends with the NEW kids but then a few weeks later I was treated as though I too had the plague. I was sexually molested when I was four years old by a family friend, and by my grandfather when I was six. I have a hard time trusting people.

When I was a teenager my family moved to what we thought was better town, but then I found a girl friend who used me to find boys so she could have sex. I was raped numerous times, three times while I was passed out because I had three beer. I was always a skinny child, and I swam in my clothes.

I was picked on by two of my high school teachers. They would make jokes about me to make the class laugh at me. Needless to say I was a high school drop out.

At the age of 19 I decided to get my grade 12 deploma through my community college. I passed with flying colors, but I never went a prom or a graduation cerimony.

I met the man I have been with for the past 29 years because I found a job working for his brother. We now have four children, but because we had them late, I was 30 when I had my first child and 38 when I had my one and only daughter. That was also when I really began to worry. I worried that she may fall victim to the pigs called men who live in this world.

When my daughter started school, I developed anxiety and then sufford a nervous break down, all with a conmpletely unsimpithetic partner. My anxiety started by needing to know where my man was every minute of the day. I began to think that if I couldn't see him, then he was gone forever. I tried to explain my feelings to him, but he just either did not understand or care. My axiety got so bad I would have panic attacks and I thought I was dieing. I did a really good job of hidding all of this from my children.

I tried making friends with the parents of the children my daughter played with, but they would invite all of the girls their daughters played with except mine to birthday parties, even though my daughter was a very good friend to them all. That really hurt.

Then through talking to a lady on a hot line, I began to find away to heal myself. The one thing I remeber that woman said to me that really helped, was "You have a really strong mind!" I am no longer full anxiety, however now my man takes our third son to air caddets three times a week. He drops our son off and then goes to visit his friends without me. Then on Tuesdays evenings my man goes to a drumming group,without me, and then on Sunday he kicks around all day at our rental house, and only comes home when he is starving. So, Wednesday night is the only day of the week that he is home. But then he sits in front of the tv or the computer and doesn't say a word to me. And when I don't want to have sex because I am upset about never seeing him, then he says there is something wrong with me, and it's all my fault we're haveing problems.

My 50th birthday is comming up in September and he doesn't even want to talk about making plans. I want to go away somwhere with him where it will be just the two of us. But he doesn't want to talk about it because it is five months away.

I met the man I am with now when I just turned 21. He is 7 years older than me. I feel like he has stolen my youth, and my life. My hair is grey, I have wrinkles and a swelling under my left eye. I used to be so pretty when I was younger, now I am just a lonely old women. Who would even want me now? I desperately want to leave him but I don't know how. I am so afraid of having another nervous break down.

Wow! I guess I'm not alone anymore. I have no friends, I have never really had friends, only people who wanted to use me. I am a outspoken person when it come to injustice, so I am willing and ready to stick up for someone. Apparently I'm a banker, a security guard, punching bag, piece of meat, shelter operator, therapist, but not good enough to get back the same love and friendship I give out. I don't really have family I'm close with, besides my male cousin who lives in 500 miles away. My mom talks to me because she's bored and unemployed. At this point I'm feeling I'm starting not to care. People are mean, users, and trouble makers, who will drop you out their life as soon as you have nothing for them. Although sometimes I wish I did have some people I could be close with. I have children, and its just me and them, I'm 30 years old with NO social life and its not because I'm a single parent. I live in MN so I don't act Black enough for the Black people and I'm to Black for the White people...I'm just here.
I cannot relate to anyone, I have more children than anyone I know, I'm a very mature 30 year old, I have my own business, but I look 15.
I just don't know anymore. :`(

I can relate a little to most every one on this blog, But you sound exactly like me. I am a 30 year old woman almost 31 (dec 9) and I have no friends. My entire life I was too "white" for my so called black friends, and never quite made a connection with any white people except one, my boyfriend of over 13 years. I have my parents and 3 brothers and I adore them, but they are family.. there are certain things you cant do with your family like cocktail hour or discussing certain personal things. My only experiences with women have been horrible, girls trying to use me, picking on me because I speak well, or because of my appearance. As a result I never made a connection with any woman other than my mom thank goodness for her! I hate it though. To never have had a best friend a person that I can actually trust with everything. My family my boyfriend my money everything!! I have so much to give to a circle of caring people, but I dont know if I can trust any human being... they all seem so wretched. Am I the one that is too judgemental... Do I expect to much from people, do I give too much to people. I am not sure, I only know that sometimes I think about my future wedding day with my boyfriend and i realize I would have no one to invite but my family. No one to share major events with, like the birth of my first child (if I ever have one). I thought I was the only one until today

Hello I can relate, please keep in touch maybe we can communicate

Your story is the same as mine. My mother liked to beat on me. I have been told this by my dad's sister and her daughters. my own brother say's he does not remember that. My mother did want me she only had me do my dad would have a child. I'm going to be 68years old this June & I have no friends. I have tried all my life & I'm so lonely. It would be so very nice to beable to call or be asked by another female to go for coffee or snything. I have worked of & on. My last job was at Home Depot for 4 1/2yrs & you would think i would have made friends, but even there i felt no welcome. I made friends with the men. I know exactly how you feel. My health is very good my medications are only allergy over the counter so i think that is good. I have been married for 45yrs. I don't want to go to the senior center, because all they talk about is their health, medications they take etc. I do not feel old. Very Loneley

I'll be your friend!!!

Please don't do this, you are special and irreplaceable

I just read this for the first time, and I`m so stunned, I ca`nt even cry. I`ve never really had friend, eighter. I feel like I`m not normal. Over the years, people have come to me with their problems, or to borrow something, but beyond that, no real friendship has ever developed. I`m divorced and I`ve raised 6 children on my own. When my kids were growing up, I prayed that they would`nt have to endure this "whatever" is going on with me. I ca`nt explain it , but I am so lonely. I have a wonderful job, great children, and a great place of worship, but no friend. I exchange phone numbers with co-workers that like to hang out with other co-workers. They never call. . . I`ve tried to explain how lonely I am to a few people, but they do`nt understand. They usually tell me that they`re going through the same thing, but they have lots of support, and they`re always out with someone. I am always alone. I do everything by myself. I eat alone. I hang out at the library alone. Everything from shopping, the movies, going out to dinner, etc.
And I do`nt know what it is that I`ve done so wrong. I had been a member of a church in my city for 3 years. The pastor`s wife was so cold and non chalant with me. I did everything to make her at least like me. No one at the church seem to notice. Single mom with 6 children, no family, no husband, my mom passed away a few years earlier.I sunk into a very deep depression. And no one seemed to notice. When I left that church, nobody ever called me to find out how if the children and I were okay. From there, I joind another church, but it seems that all they ever cared about was what went into the offering basket. That`s life.
My children are all grown ups. Thank G-d they have wonderful friends who love them. My daughter has great kids and a wonderful fiance. Loving perspective in-laws. I do`nt envy them. Though I never had such. They know that I do`nt have friends. And they do worry about me sometimes. I tell them that I`ll be okay. Still, I wonder what the heck I did so wrong. And let alone romance. . . I`m often mistaken for someone a few years younger. So therefore some other women think that guys really go crazy for me. Plzzzzz...
I worship at a messianic jewish synagogue, now. I felt compelled to go there because I was looking for someone to love me. The rabbi`s wife smiled at me once. Everyone there is nice, But I stay my distance because I`m so afraid of pain and rejection. I`m afraid that if I open up , they`ll turn away.

Is it possible the women you tried to be friends with felt threatened because you're single, attractive, and look younger than your age? People can be superficial that way. I hope the synagogue will be a better experience for you!

i am a 34 year old man whose mother is drug addict and father was a drug addict,i was taught a fairytale and now im shitload of debt and struggling to get a degree in a field that is useless.....i only have people who call me to use me,i am a highschool dropout who didnt go to the military,i was trying to save my mother and be of some sevice to my family of two siblings and elders,not having money at my age is no joke,i was trying to be a super christian in my late teens and twenties,i thought i had a great destiny....turns out im just an average guy who didnt choose crime,i am a freak to the young women at my university bcause i constantly try to hit on them for my needs......had girlfriend of two years and little relationships in my twenties but it was for sex mostly,i contemplate suicide regularly,i have no children....everyone ive known has lived in another state as an adult or even in another country im still stuck in the same place,well i live on my own but im realizing that this **** is a joke.....
i cant afford healthcare,**** i got problems

I'm 38 just turned, no kids killer bodyalways nbeen known as the "loyal friend" as I was a ugly duckling in middle & HS. I had bad acne all over my face it was awful. NO PROM, NO PARTIES I hid a lot due to the acne. Now that it turns out I'm a hottie women WILL NOT include me in anything that requires going out as in out where I can meet people. NOT Cclubbing but other things. Been divorced 11 yrs my local friends cut me off in a slow manner in 2005 when I was will with cancer. Then last yr I lost my dear father to Cancer and NOT ONE friend called or email. The 10 yr friend living me who was my BF (we decided to try) says his son is 1st the funeral took up some of his time. HE HAS THAT 11 yr old 24/7. Mother took off yrs ago. He still has to wipe his ***. Kid refused to drink outta the same glass so I loaded the dishwasher 3 times a day cleaned the condo after coming home cleaning parents home as my mom took care of my dying father! That is to the extreme. It's not child abuse to make your friend/gf a priority for a day after such a devastating loss. My dad & I were close. I left. Movedoutta my own place. Left power in my name so his son wouldn't freeze then find out a women was living theor & off 2 months of bills I paid ahead for his kids sake. That whole family was scared to tell that kid no. I mean really scared. This man has been divorced 2 times due to this & refuses to get that dear child help. Not constantly make up for mom being gone. Even when my dad died I wasn't good enough to even hug! At church (my 1st time since dads death he was a Rev) all he did was color with his son. When I had tucked my head to quietly cry his g-ma reach over for us to change chairs since her g-son was to much selfish *****. Now I feel unworthy of even the air I breathe. That he did scared me for life. 3 months outta 11 yrs is all I have dated. OF ALL times to allow your son to run your life and MY HOME you do it when I have a diying father I see everyday after work get home 10pm praying that brat would be in bed but no. bedtime was midnight so where is adult time? He had 24/7 custody. Mother took off.All the money I spent to help his son, and dying dad and elderly mother why couldn't they do something for me? Help out a little take me to dinnerr and movie without his son there dominating when we eat, go, pull over for gas, potty etc..He ran it all. Since I cant date men almost homeless (or almost) so another womens kid will live grand life.I deserve some small amount of attention & time.

I am 69 years old and I have not had a close friend since I left the army 1967. I had a lot of close friend prior to going into the army. I was wounded in the Vietnam war after 1 1/2 years in the hospital and losing her right leg above knee, I had gone from 250 pounds down to 100 pound when I got home. My so called friends came to see me one time and I've never seen them since. I know it is me trie as I might I just cannot make a close a male friend. It seems to be easier with women because for the most part they are kinder. The only thing that keeps me going is the Lord. I live by myself and it is really hard at times. Most people seem to like me now go figure that. Thanks for this website and God bless each each person aveing having difficulty with friends.

Hello Mr. Merham
Just read your comment a little over a year after you left it. Wondering how you are. I'm new here, 31yrs old and found your story to be especially touching. I have no military connections except for a former friend of a former friend...but I've always felt such a sensation of hurt when i hear of the circumstances of veterans who just seem to have such deep lack where there should be plenty. So, how are you dear one?

I am 35 I was recently sexually assaulted and as a result have a serious knee injury I am currently recovering from. 1 week after the assault my boyfriend who I would talk to about everything with broke up with me. I not only lost my boyfriend but my best friend. Then three weeks after that my last remaining friend said she didn't like the tone I sometimes take with her and she no longer wants to talk to me I have been friends with her since I was 19. Recently at work everyone has been ganging up on me and my relationships there have been struggling. I only find comfort when I have my daughter near me, but I feel like I am very alone at a time when I need people the most. In july the only family I have here in this state is moving to Montana that is clear across the country. I don't understand why everything is changing so drastically but I feel like I am going thru this alone and it is very overwhelming.

I feel the same, I'm available for friendship if you want to chat.

Too bad you don't live near me because I'd be your friend.

Hey, you're hilarious, well spoken and right on the money with the Neanderthal comment. Don't even girlfriend. Seriously, everyone wants to "belong " so freakin bad, they will tolerate anything. You are so NOT alone. There are millions of us out here wishing people weren't zombies willing to do anything to belong somewhere. You belong where ever you are standing young lady. We are on a rock spinning in space . There's no steering wheel and so many people think there is. I found this forum because I asked the exact same question you did; why don't I have a friend ? Keep your kids social, that's what I did with my only child. Now he only speaks to me when he wants money. Like you, I'm not wealthy. He borrowed a thousand dollars and within 30 seconds proceeded to tell me I was a jerk . I didn't say anything to prompt his remark. I was crushed because I'm harassed at my job,( I'm the only woman) ignored by the people who should be helping me, slandered for speaking up, and have to fight off the constant accusations designed To malign me and get me fired. You are not alone. Women in particular are targeted by male groups for jobs now. they can deny it all they want, but people know it's true. Seniors are also targeted. Hate and desparation are rampant. Slave labor is the new job force. If your employed, your a target. Why would anyone pay us 15 bucks an hour when someone from a poor country will gladly do it for a fraction of that. Everything you wrote has happened to me except for school, I never went. I had to leave home early on and find work. Thank your lucky stars you have the ability to get a degree honey. Never settle, that's how this country is losing it's power. We're not standing up for ourselves, and the government loves it. We should all be standing together, such a shame.

I also have no friends. But, unlike you, I have no children and unable to have any, and I have no husband or boyfriend. I also have no brothers or sisters or cousins. The only family I have is a mother who has Alzheimer's. I have a part time job at Home Depot, despite my two college degrees, and I am in so much dept. I think about suicide all the time. The only reason I don't do it is because if I go, no one could take care of my mother. I decided long ago, that after my mother dies, I will take my own life, for there is nothing in this world for me.

I don't your name anwynagig
but you will be in my prayers from now on. So God put something in your life to make you go every day. I have my problems too bad marriage, problems with my job,and more.... however I DONT GIVE UP! I will ask you to do the same.

Please don't I will be you friend come out and visit with you.

This is the saddest thing I have read! I'm so sorry! I pray you don't do this! I really really really really pray you don't, and that since you made this comment your life has improved!!!

I am so sad to hear you say that! I agree, you can't give up. Keep fighting and be thankful for the things you do have. Remember things never stay the same. :)

1 More Response

Different cultures have different criteria for deciding who gets to be a popular person and who can attract friends. I guess it's good to try to adapt yourself to the expectations of this culture (outgoing, easy-to-talk-to, etc), because this is where you live. But also be aware that if you had been born elsewhere, for example in some Asian societies, all of you wonderful, thoughtful people who have posted your comments here would be very well liked and respected. It just depends on the culture and what kind of personalities that culture values.

its sad that you feel alone or have been in the past...however you are so lucky you have a husband or kids... youre not alone trust me...not even close... you are beyond lucky...some people dont have friends, companions anyone...they are the ones who are truly alone... i dont get how anyone can say they have no companionship....your husband is your companion??

you have a husband. you have kids. Please find happiness in that. I wish I even had that....

I feel ur pain but u shouldn't feel the need to have friends, now a days i don't need friends i rather have no friends because when u have friends its just drama, ur kids just need u guys and there brothers and sister to play with. my kids have friends in school but home they don't but they have cousins and each other to play with. you can make friends here on ep. hope ur life gets better and just be happy that u have ur husband and ur kids

Ever want to chat let me know. I feel the same.

Truly being alone is losing everything family a violent drunk husband, being left permanently disabled by him and moving to a small country town for safety only to be left blind in one eye and having broken shoulder by your housemate coz you dont want to date him as he is too angry. I dont have any friends as people only want me to see them when I can do things for them but I am right handed and its my right shoulder that is broken and has been for 5 months with no hope of recovery any time soon. I feel so alone an isolated. I miss my sons who are in the city and conversation that dont involve money or cars. Try loving people only to be abused by them and being told youre unfit for work and you cant even swim your favourite things as you have over 100 stitches in your eye. Try living with a male chauvenist who thinks a woman has to do all housework when she finds it hard to even shower as the pain is horrendous. When you can tell me this then I can believe you are lonely like me and no i'm not overweight I'm a USA size 4.

Hugs not sure why we have to live life like this we need more social groups for support. I'm here if you need to chat

hello I am really glad you posted this! FInally someone I can relate to on this! I am 23 years old and I have no friends. I have disabled facebook several times because I know that at the end of the day I have absolutely no friends on there, REAL friends anyway. I just have random heads and people adding me who are in my college program but they couldn't care two ***** about me since they are only acquaintences. We talk briefly at school and maybe say the odd word or two and greet each other but aside from that NOBODY ever wants to do anything with me.<br />
<br />
For example, last year in my new class I made NO friends at all and it boggled my mind why. I am fairly attractive, am fairly social when I need to be and in this case i was very social because i wanted to make new friends right away. 8 months pass and even after school ended, absolutely nobody in my class keeps in contact with me and one girl even mentioned that I was a floater meaning, I didn't really have any friends that i hung out with...when it is all because they wouldn't give me a chance. She also said I asked too many questions but what else am i supposed to say when i tried small talk and people just don't respond back?<br />
<br />
I am always the one having to make the effort and if I stop doing that, NOBODY has ever contacted me out of their own will to hang out with me. At this point I also feel that I am too old to have deep friendships due to the fact that everyone else my age has already developed friendships already with people back home. By this age , i hardly know anyone who doesn't have friends. I feel lonely, depressed and often times suicidal but I try to bury that feeling as much as I can because once i start thinking about it I can't bring myself out of the shithole that is my life.<br />
<br />
I also had two groups of friends which ended tragically and while I made up with some of them years later, I also found out that they never really cared about me in the first place either. I have become a jaded person deep down inside but since human beings are social creatures while I despise most people due to things I have suffered I still get extremely lonely when I go on for weeks without seeing anyone. I am at the end of my summer break now and have to go back to school and dreading that the same **** will happen again. I have done nothing this summer and hung out with one acquaintence that I know that's it. I wish to eventually disable fb for good and just crawl away as a hermit but I know that won't bring me happiness either.

Hey, I am 21 year old with no close friends. I am in the same boat as you. Email me ...Lets talk:)

Hi, I'm 21 going on 22, in my last year at college. I also have no close friends. My advice? Join a group or some activity. It's okay that you are alone. There must be people who join the club/activity that is looking to make friends. Even if there isn't, since you are gonna be in the same club/ activity, everyone will be nice. So no harm in trying! That's what I would do if I can re-do college. I have no FB too :)

I can fully relate to you, WynsomeGreen, as I am in very similar situation as yourself, although younger - I'm 25 and I have no "friends" either. The problem with making and keeping "friends" for some people, like us, is that we tend to lack the "social abilities" in relating to others; that is, the "social abilities" that allow us to relate to others at a "subconscious" level, which naturally "attracts" others to us. But most people (like us) that lack said "social abilities" tend to "repel" rather than "attract" others to us because to others we appear almost "alien" - we are so different in our communication methods (both verbal and non-verbal) and this tends to achieve the opposite- we find it very difficult to develop friendships/relationships with people in general. Although sadly we are not usually aware of this and go through life thinking we are "unlikable", when in fact we just haven't developed the "social abilities" that others have as quickly or effectively. We also tend to "chase" people, rather than "attract" them to us; we try very hard to gain the approval and acceptance of others, by being extra "nice" and doing them favours, when we notice others are not relating to us in the ways that we want. This "chasing" effect tends to "repel" other from us; in other words, make them more distant towards us, rather than bringing them closer to us.<br />
<br />
I have also struggled to develop and maintain friendships/relationships with others throughout my entire life; I also had no real friends, during my elementary/middle/high school or university years, and as a result, I had become emotionally and socially withdrawn from people in general. I would not attend parties/social gatherings in university and would often prefer to stay at home and play video games, listen to music, read books than socialise. I still currently have no real friends, but have recently decided to make a conscious and continuous effort to develop my social skills and practice them so that I will succeed in making friends and succeed in future romantic relationships (my first ever relationship ended after 2 years of lacking the social skills to maintain it). It turns out I have Asperger's Syndrome and this is one of the reasons I have lacked the social skills that others my own age have (and whom have friends). But I realised it is a social deficiency that can be improved with both more knowledge and practise, like pretty much anything in life.<br />
<br />
I graduated two years ago from University and consider myself to be an intelligent/educated individual in academic terms, but have always lack the social intelligence that others possess that allows them to successfully interact with and "attract" people to them and develop/maintain long-lasting friendships/relationships with people. In order to succeed more in building friendships/relationships with others, we have to learn the "social abilities" that allow us to "attract" others to us, and not have to "chase" them - people run from that which chases them, but the opposite appears to be the case. Those who succeed in making/keeping friends have a natural/innate competency (usually developed from a younger age than us) with the "social abilities" that "attract" people to them. These social skills include gaining rapport; this is achieved by subconsciously reading and mirroring the non-verbal communication of others, like facial ex<x>pressions, eye contact and body language. Another important skill in relating to others is "effective listening" and "empathy". Rapport is also achieved by establishing similarity in people- we tend to be attracted to people who have more in common with us, such as similar interests, views/opinions, beliefs etc. In short, the more "rapport" we have with people and the more we have in common with people, the more we subconsciously become "attracted" to them. <br />
<br />
You are very lucky to have a loving husband and children- my previously stated past relationship trauma should confide within you that you don't have it as bad as you think. Sometimes a family and loving relationship is really all you need in life- that is better than having no-one to share the feelings and experiences with you that life offers.<br />
<br />
I recommend you read the following books to learn the social skills mentioned above and then practise them to become a more social being and "attract" the friends that you desire into your life. These books changed my social life since I read them two years ago.<br />
<br />
"How to win friends and Influence people" by Dale Carnegie<br />
"How to talk to anyone" by Leil Lowndes<br />
"Intimate Connections" by David Burns<br />
<br />
I hope I managed to give you some insight, hope and inspiration that you are not alone and that nothing is "wrong" with you, you just need to develop the social skills that help "attract" others to you. I am not advocating that you read these books either or practise socialising with others, but I'm afraid that it's really the only way to improve.<br />
<br />
I wish you all the best future happiness and success in your life. :)

what an encouraging experience , ur recommendations are devine. thank u

I am 21 . In the same boat as you. No close friends at all..Lets talk!!

I't sounds like It's probably<br />
a little bit harder for you, cause I only have a 2 1/2 year old and and a 10 year old, but oh my god! The only reason I'm commenting on your dialog is because I was specifically searching for someone who understood my insecurities and was basically in my situation, to make make me feel O K cause it's worse for everyone when I don't. Maybe you didn't know this when you were writing this but you have become an angel to some of us

I can totally relate im 26 been suffering from depression and dont really have any friend, i mean i would love to be able to go out clubbing or spend more time outside enjoying life, instead i spend all day at home or at uni, and i only go out with my mother makes me feel so pathetic...and i been single for sooo long i also think part of the problem is these scars i have on my upper arms from cuttin,,as they are too visible and i hide them and therefore feel like im hidding a secret from ppl. and that they will not like the real me. I dont want to be alone. i want to be accepted, apreciated, and im glad you found someone to love you and that you have a wonderful family and sorry for ur situassion.

I feel your pain, quieroserprincesita as I also suffered from depression for most of my university years. Your problem in making friends may be the "depression" your suffering from. People are generally uncomfortable around those who seems sad or depressed. I recommend that you do practise meditation (great for curing depression and the mind in general), exercise regularly, eat a healthy diet, and develop hobbies- something that makes you feel good, taking walks in nature is also a great way to relieve depression. All forms of depression are generally cause by a lack of dopamine in the brain (the chemical responsible for making us want to stuff and feel motivated, exciting or passionate about life) and all of the suggestions I mentioned above can naturally restore it. I do not recommend that you go on anti-depressants however, because they are an unnatural substitute, and in my honest opinion, do not address the underlying cause of depression (although I am not a medical professional to state this opinion)- they only alleviate it temporarily and end up resulting in withdrawal from coming off them. I wish you luck and hope you feel better and make friends in the future.

I agree with you. If meds can be avoided, all the power to ya. As someone who takes antidepressants myself, I believe in some cases they are very necessary. If done under a doctors supervision, they can be seamless to stop taking. I would liken this to a person who has diabetes, if insulin was necessary I would not discourage it. Sometimes you just can't find your way out on your own.

I also think that as a society, we have to stop stigmatizing mental illness and be more accepting and supportive. It's said 1 in 3 persons suffer from some form.

When there is a glimmer of clarity remember, life is beautiful! :)

So I only read the first page of comments and I'm guessing the remaining pages are much the same. I'm 34 with no friends. I have my siblings whom I'm close to but I'm divorced and just broke up with my boyfriend and they are all married. As one woman said, I long for a deep relationship with another woman. Certainly not romantic, just a very close friend. One that I can rely on, call, laugh with. I would love to have a buddy. I have three children that keep me busy and lots of support from family but most of my days are spent without any honest connection with anyone. I'm very much alone.

I am sorry to hear your past realtionship traumas, jinnyislost. I have also recently just recovered from a painful breakup of 2 and a half years and know that is a very painful experience, especially for people like us who lack the social skills to attract others to us and develop satisfying friendships. I hope one day you find the friends you desire. Unfortunately, very close friends take years to foster, just like very close romantic relationships. But you should seek out friendships with people who have things in common with you and whom you are emotionally compatible with- people withdraw from those whose emotional states are incompatible with their own. I wish you the best of luck. x

I am a 31 year old female with no friends i realized i havent made th best decision in life but theres nothing i can do to change them such as hainging out with th wrong crowd of criminals and drug dealers due to me not wanting to accecpt my mothers 4th marrige by a alcoholic. Hainging out late caused me to get addicted to drugs with nothing else to look fowwrd to. I got pregnat in high school found out i wasnt th only one expecting decided to abord being called an imordal sinner on th holliest day of th year easter. At 15 i was sent to grandparents house as punishment for summer vacation being downgraded because i couldnt speak spanish only advantage was learning how to work and have some disapline. Went back home to graduate from high school barely achieving a diploma due to missing school hating myself for my decision to finally move out on my own meet a guy spent 5 yrs together even though 2 of them he had spent in prison from assulting me with a deadly weapon ridiculous on my part ive come to realize but since he was under th influnce of narcotics i told myself i should forgive him for that since he wasnt in jis right mind big mistake i wasnt th one that should feel. Guilty for calling th cops it could have been alot worse yet my feeling of guilt keep me around even though we had a 3 year restraining order i wrote often even sent packages while i start a new befging with a new apt on my own in hopes that we can rekindle our love from being apart 2 years wrong. He was realeased on xmas to a halfway home that was coed i was furious .i met a man during ths time threw a friend that chased me for months in which i one day gave th time of day which led to dinners dates flowers even rent money yet somethin didnt feel right oh yeah he forgot to mention he was married with 4 kids this i find out last week when wife gets a hold of his phone and decides to call me. Now i no longer talk to any of them yet it kills me that i never been th one to do anything to hurt any of them yet they all have hurt me. Th one out of prison some how turned everyone against me for not wanting to give up my new lover and to discover after a year it was a lie and not even worth calling like everyday like before which helped me cope with th reality that my time was waisted waiting on that narrsassist loser. Th sad thing is in th end i feel betrayed alone sad and have no car to go where i would like such as school i live in an area where i can name at least 7 drug users on my block and i cant help but feel like im th only one that has no one to come home to no hubby no kids like people my age which has me feeling dead inside crying myself to sleep

You are wrong gunit777. There is something you can do to change- you can consciously make the decision to change this area of your life for the better. You just have to make the effort and this is the part that most people struggle with, because the majority of people who have no friends become disinterested in making them; as human beings, we tend to withdraw from that which repels us in social circumstances and the only cure for this is to become more "social" - no doubt that will sound counter-intuitive to most, by starting conversations with people and developing more social skills in relating to others, understanding non-verbal communication, empathy and rapport- all key to achieving the friendships/relationships we desire in life, but often neglect to improve due to past failures or "fear" that we will be "rejected" or fail again.

Some of us are less-developed than others in these social skills and that is why we struggle, myself included, as I have struggled making friends in the past. The key to success in improving this area of our lives is to firstly make the conscious decision- by telling ourselves that we NEED to change and WILL change this area of our lives and to take action for that change to manifest- strike up conversations with others, practise the social skills mentioned above (I will list some books below that I recommend to develop and learn these social skills) and develop a more positive attitude towards people in general, as people are a lot more attracted positive/happy people than negative/depressed people (often a result our past failures in making friends and rejections). This really is the only way to eliminate this aspect of our personality that is holding us back and preventing us from creating the fulfilling friendships/relationships that we all desire in life. Human beings are social creatures by evolution and were not meant to be alone- we all need social contact to remain emotionally/mentally and even physically healthy.

You sound that you've had a traumatic and unhealthy lifestyle- being phsyically abused is not good for your self-esteem and you sound that you have a very low one as it is. I really recommend that you see a therapist.

I hope I managed to give you hope, words of encouragement and inspiration that you are not alone and that you CAN change and WILL change.

Below are the books I recommend, but I am not advocating that you read them. It is entirely up to you and will be based upon how serious you are about taking care of this part of your life.

"How to win friends and Influence people" by Dale Carnegie
"How to talk to anyone" by Leil Lowndes
"Intimate Connections" by David Burns

I am in a similar situation *without the kid part though*.. me and my boyfriend are 30, and neither of us have any true friends.. or even decent acquaintances. I too have been haunted by this my entire life. I blame it on being an only child with older parents, I never learned to socialize naturally.<br />
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I have been dying of loneliness lately. I live in a very small town of 15,000 people, and my boyfriend works 16 hour shifts. We have one Walmart and that's it.. the nearest town is over 2 hours away. People are very closed off and anything but warm and friendly. I have been here a year now, and I do not have any friends...<br />
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I have been brainstorming on how to make friends here. My problem is 1. I am childless 2. I do not like the bar scene. 3. I do not care for going to church. So how else can I socialize? I was thinking of posting some ads on the local bulletin boards here.. maybe creating some clubs I would like.. maybe a game board club... a you tube video club. A love for coffee club, etc. IT could work who knows.<br />
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By the way, I used to live in St. Paul, and other parts of Minnesota, if you want any tips on good eats or things to do, let me know. -- Jessica

wow u people dojnt get it...at least u have a boyfriend..there are some people out there with no one at all....they are the ones really suffering....you have a friend...this is ridiculous....