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Mental Illness Means No Friends

I have suffered from depression since I hit puberty. I take medication for it and for the most part I function quite well. About five years ago, things weren't going so great for me. I was extremely depressed and attempted suicide. I survived the attempt but still had many problems mentally.

This was the point where all of my friends began to distance themselves from me. Nobody wants a mentally ill person for a friend. Now, five years later, I have no friends. I'm shy and it's extremely hard for me to get to know new people. The most contact I have with anyone is on Facebook. They never make an effort to see me in person. If I invite them to anything, they make an excuse to bail on me. I've had to come to the hard realization that I have no real friends left.

I'm so lonely. I don't want much, I just want someone to go for coffee with once in awhile or maybe see a movie with. I wish someone would see more than just mental illness when they look at me.

absintheminded85 absintheminded85 26-30, F 10 Responses Dec 6, 2009

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I think you're fine, it's them with the problem, not you. F##k em. Sorry, to sound so blunt but all this social stigma about mental illness really does me in. I'm not that we'll too & I also suffer loads emotionally, therefore not making me the best friend material, but you know what, I'm ok not having friend's. Like Howard Hughes a bit, gosh especially if I was rich, I wouldn't talk to f####ng anyone, out of choice. Most people are untrustworthy, back stabbers, freaks themselves when it boils down to it, but the difference is, all those freaks have each other, to wallow in all their debauchery together. I can't bear them, people sometimes, but I don't hate people, they hate me........arseholes! Check out a very antisocial pyschobilly group called "The Meteor's". Cause I don't worry about it, don't give a toss about it, cause I don't worry about it anyway ; )

Absinthe,
I really resonate with what you said.
I have lost almost all my friends. They all dumped me and not one of them told me why.
I was so hurt by this I have no words.
I am the most loyal friend. When you are friends with me, you have a friend for life.
I have struggled so valiantly to overcome the effects of severe childhood trauma. My friends know this.
I always was the one who made the effort to keep in touch, and the funny one who made everybody laugh. When I started to have real problems ( depression, anxiety, difficulty functioning normally in high stress) I was kind of a basket case and may not have been the best friend in a few circumstances which I then owned and apologized for..but instead of reaching back with love and compassion they dropped me like a hot potato - not once did any of my friends come to me and say, " Hey - I'm concerned about you..this is what I see...how can I support you my dear friend, etc" Or even sit down with me and tell me what's bothering them in a loving way.
I was such a loyal true blue goodhearted friend - the spirit of the group, the life of the party. I gave so much of my heart soul love and humor to my friends. I would and NEVER hurt anyone purposely.
To be abandoned by your friends is the worst kind of pain. I find it so shocking.
Love does not abandon. This means they really didnt love me in the first place the way I loved them. I guess I was just entertainment. Don't be cruel to a heart that's true.

I am all alone now and very very lonely. Which is how it felt growing up in my abusive alcoholic home. My friends became my soul tribe. DEAR FRIENDS: YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH YOUR WALLS OF SILENCE HAVE HURT ME. " Forgive them Father. They know not what they do"
If anyone out there needs a friend, I am here for you.
"All the lonely people...where Do they all come from?"

Love,
Shenzi
xo

You are very brave to come forward
with your problem. Keep trying to contact
old friends. I believe the quote" Old friends are like gold. New friends are like silver". If that doesn't work, join social
groups that meet in person. Make a birthday party for an old friend at a
restaurant. But keep on trying. I
just read a book by Deborah Feldman
that I found inspirational, called
Unorthodox, about her escape from the Satmar Chassidic Jewish sect in NY
City. Even her grandparents rejected her. She received hate mail from family members. But with aid from pals at
Sarah Lawrence College and good attorneys she was able to obtain a divorce and custody if her toddler son.
She feels other authors are her friends.
Smile when you interact w someone.
It's a great ice breaker. Good Luck
Florals

as a 50 year old adult with bipolar , depression and anxiety I feel most everyone is quick to judge. The stigma surrounding mental illness will remain in society, even though thinks have changed dramatically for those with aids and the homosexual popoulation.. for some reason people will always look at mental illness as chosen condition or look at its people as the danger within our society. My brother was a paranoid schizophrenic and committed suicide at 27 by jumping from a building and I still remember as a young child during that time in the 1970's the stigma attached to him. to think 40 years later and the same stigma remains. People did to educate themselves more than ever re; mental illness, it's long overdue.

I have been unemployed for 7 months now and my mental illness is not good. Because of this I have lost all my friends. I know what is like to lose friends because of depression. Sometimes , I do not think it is me. I think its the ignorance of my ex friends. I am coming to the conclusion these friends were anything but.I want you to know I know what you are going through. I sincerly hope things will get better for you. You really do deserve it. You are probaly more special than those sorry people tell you you are. In reality, you are probably a better human than they are.

i have shizzoaffective disorder and i got diagnosed when i was 17 and now i am turning 21... Getting in touch with your old friends and talking to them could help them to understand you... i have a few friends that come and see me here and there... but yeah when u have a mental illness people tend to kinda like stay away from you... if you have a brother or sister... you could always turn to them... or your mum and dad... hope this helps you... All i can say is that even if you keep to yourself... there is no problem with this to... please be strong... bkuz i think alot of people with a mental illness are in the same boat as you... peace...

everybody is born with a mental sickness , they dont know about it , people around them keep talking how they act in a strange way , I cannot believe that being depressed is a mental sickness , it is just depression , acting with life with no pleasure or enjoyment , stats tell that almost all people will go through an age of their life being depressed , I know what you mean people keep going away and those on facebook wont give a time to spend with you , I am having this problem too , but I know I will be good in the future .<br />
<br />
if being a mental person a problem , then it is god's problem . and life is a race we must win .

Wow....i could of written that. I know exactly what you mean. As soon as i came out of a mental hospital my few so-called friends just seemed to act differently around me like i was some kind of leper or something. I have one friend now, i don't see alot of her, she likes to make fun of me saying how f**ked in the head i am. We have nothing in common but i feel that i'm still clinging to her because she's my only friend.

I'm not asking for sympathy about the suicide attempt. It's long behind me and I've been keeping a better handle on my mental state since. It's just sad that there is still such a stigma attached to mental illness that everyone would back away. I don't know what they're afraid of, it's not contagious, and I'm doing much better. If they would look me up once in awhile they'd see that I'm fairly normal and functioning quite well.

I have had a very difficult life my father abused me and my mother, my mother was always depressed, my dad always acted very weird and uncomfortable around me, at 4 years old he told me to be prepared that people were out to kill him and that they might kill me too, since tan its been pretty much downhill for me, as for friends i have none, but i will say i have learned that people or most dont value friendship, they just go around making conversation bouncing from one friend to another, but they are not really friends, as for mental illnees youll come out of that, there is no stigma anymore and you just need to let that go feel normal and try to get back out there and make conversations, im your friend, as for suicide a lot of people have that issue, so let it go too, depression is like a wound that gets bigger and bigger and until it engulfs you and you no longer see clearly, once the fog clears and you see better, you start to live a better life, id love to be your friend it helps me realize we are not alone and hopefully we will meet lots of good people on this blog

Hay guess what? You now have a friend. Was that hard? Just need to ask. I have a Myspace if you would like to be friends on there as well. www.myspace.com/jerryl620 I don't know where you live and I can't drive cause I am legally blind (not totally) just can't see well enough to get a license and was told if I was ever caught behind the wheel again I would do no less then a year in jail so **** driving. and that suicide **** man is just a permanent solution to a temporary problem. No matter what it is it will pass. So don't hesitate to write me I wont judge and I will always be honest with you. OK my Friend til we meet again.