I'm No Social Genius...not Even Close

I'm 33, have two kids in there early teens who live with their Dad down the way. I just broke up with my third boyfriend since my divorce 10 years ago. I dated him for three years and it's only been three days...so it's still really hard, but something I had to do. I loved him a lot, but it was not working for either of us...and mostly because I have no friends.

My boyfriend and I lost our jobs in the recession and drove each other crazy with boredom. I think I stayed with him for so long because he was so personable. He had great friends; amazing guy friends. I wish I could have what he had...he could make you laugh, smile and giggle. He was so charming. But mostly when he drank. Which was another problem (for another day).

My girlfriend of 22years refused to continue our friendship when I started dating him. We were also roommates, she kicked me out then too. Since then I have just struggled to make friends. I have always been the kind of person who only has one or two close relationships at a time, either man of woman. I cant seem to manage people very well, I think.

My family is not close. My Mom and I are, but not what the rest  of the world would see as close....shes hard to get. My sister and I talk but she seems to have an issue with me being thin and younger...I think...I'm not really sure. I have been told I come off as competitive, but hopefully I have remedied that. I have come down a few notches. My Dad only talks to me when he has a new girlfriend to show off and my brothers just do their own thing.

I just want to figure out how to work on being received by others as someone they want to know...because I love people.  I do have my little pissy moods and I seem to only reach out when something traumatic has happened...I might just be to independent and push others away. I really don't know but having girlfriends would be really nice.

 

roadless9 roadless9
31-35, F
1 Response Feb 26, 2010

Hi,<br />
<br />
I feel the same way. It would be nice to have friends, but I obviously don't know how to attract them. What kind of friends are you looking for? It seems that all the women I know like to go to bars and get drunk and talk about predictable stuff, which I find really, really boring. I'd rather be alone. I wish I could make friends with people who share my interests, but anytime I meet people like that, their "dance card" is all ready filled and they're not interested in more friends. I guess I don't have any advice, but I do have compassion for your situation, since I'm in the same one, more or less.<br />
<br />
Ivey