No Friends But It's Okay . . .

I've come to have no friends, but unlike most people of my own accord. Don't get me wrong I have friends or what most people would call acquaintances. People at College, at work whom I talk to, converse with but no one who knows the real me. As a child I had many Friends and one best friend; although we started out as one person I couldn't have ever imagined us becoming two different people but we did, complete opposites and even though we still speak it's not the same. Since then I have become rather a loner. However I've found that I rather like it, my own company suits me better then others and I've started to learn things and discover things that I did not know existed in me. So I've come to this conclusion at this point in my life that it's okay to have no friends and delight in one's own company and imagination. Anyway concur?

ImaniCorleone ImaniCorleone
18-21, F
12 Responses Apr 10, 2010

I always had a hard time finding people who wouldn't try to change me. Accept that I need a lot of solitude and that I'm not religious. People that liked to exercise, music, animals sports, and could accept when I was outgoing as well as quiet, it never happened. I would feel left out or miserable or drained. I used to have kids throw rocks at me for being quiet and having a single mother, don't like kids, never liked them then, don't like them now.

I have come to a point in my life at which I feel I am enough for me. Everyone else is a bonus. Sometimes friends will walk out on you even if you are a good friend, perhaps bc your personality no longer suits them. I used to try and change myself to be more like them so that they would accept me and not walk away but I now accept me for me and don't try to change the things I like about myself. I try to improve on the things I don't like about myself, but I do it for me. I also know that it's not my loss, it's theirs (when friends flake out on me). I am always open to whom ever would like to be part of my life but I'm not a slave to trying to get people to like me anymore.

I enjoy my own company also, and I am happy to see there are other people who are on the same boat as me :)

Is that your blog? :D

Hey SweetandUnknownMagic, don't be sorry, experience project is here for exactly that to express yourself and sure we can be friends. What you'll learn more and more here is that your not alone in anything your going through, so feel free to write down whatever you feel and I dont mind anything =D although I haven't been able to log on as much as I wanted to, but i will be checking it whenever I get a chance.<br />
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Imani Corleone

I feel the same as you. I used to have a big group of friends from the 1st high school, but there were things I seemed to have to follow them, which I wasn't so into it and yea, it became a little uncomfortable. I could choose not to follow but that would not be a good idea if I'm in a group of friends. I had two bestfriends in this group, we fought sometimes and it was quite emotional whenever we fought, it usually included crying.<br />
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I'm unhealthy person, I always get sick and usually faint whenever I'm in PE class or being outdoor under the strong sun, they always had to carry me to the nursing room and usually end up in the hospital nearby the school, it was like my second home lol <br />
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So due to this fact that I can't pass the PE class, and missed some classes when I got sick, mom decided to move me to this new high school, the school that I'll only attend the class once a week, which is on Sundays. My friends and classmates cried when I was leaving and I didn't know it'd mean anything much to them, I was surprised but yes, the sadness didn't last that long, after a few months, they seemed to forget and they moved on. In this new school, I became less confident (less than before), and tend to talk less.. I got a new friends group but I'm not so close to them at all, they don't know much about me other than about my health, unlike my ex friends.. so we were just really for working together as a team work at school, nothing more. <br />
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I didn't talk much to my ex friends group anymore, I miss the old days but I don't think I care much about it anymore. It feels like when I had them, sometimes I got annoyed when they kept bugging me during the moment that I wanted to have some alone time to do my things, but also, I had lots of fun with them most of the time.<br />
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Now I'm graduated from the 2nd high school, I didn't keep in touch with any of the 'acquaintances' from there, no point to do. I enjoy spending time on my own most of the time during this moment. Probably because I like freedom and I don't need to entertain anybody when I'm not in the mood. Although, sometimes I feel it'd be nice if I have friends like my ex group again, to talk to when I have problems or bad moments.. Now I'm going to enter a university, things may become even more difficult, I just hope I can walk through it,<br />
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and at least I know I'm not alone after reading your story! :)<br />
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hope we can be friends..<br />
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PS. Sorry for repost many times and the post is pretty long, seeing not many people answered here, I'd like to put some of my experience too, hope you don't mind. :)

Don'y worry, I'm sure you will find real friends one day, these relationships take trust and time, like love you never know when a great friendship is about to begin . . . Good Luck =D

I have some people who call themseleves friends, well its ok 2 speak with them, but at the end of the day, i want some real loyal friends

I guess we'll have to wait and see ;P

Lol I don't mind, really. =D I think you can be absolutly right, it could very well be the wrong kind of group, but also I've never found a group or person that I feel I want to or can feel like I fit, except me. Lol I know it's a hard concept for people to digest or understand. Hope that makes a little more sense for you. =)

Not that I didn't ever, I mean I used to have a big group of friends but I felt so over powered and so confined in it, that I just had to break out from it . . . I just didn't want to follow the crowd, I felt so trapped in it, I couldn't be me and ofcourse I did have this fear at first that I'd be alone and that forever but I'm so glad I got away from it, I finally feel like I can breathe, lol, if that makes any sense =D

Not really no, as I still get along with people fine, but I don't feel the need to be I suppose with a secure group of friends, I suppose its a way of life . . . and your is a valid question =D