Not One Of The Lucky Ones...

My mother knew from the time she was 12 that she wanted to cut hair.  All her life, she knew.  My brother didn't know but everything he tried, he loved.  He changed careers every few years and followed his heart.  Whatever made him happy, he did.  When he got bored, he did something else but he did what he loved.  For me, I never knew.  In highschool, I changed my mind weekly.  One week a lawyer, the next an archeologist, a russian translator.  By the end of highschool, I still hadn't figured it out so I took a year off.  I never figured it out and 20 years later I still don't know.  I went into hotels and worked my way up until I became a Manager of a prestigious hotel.  I hated it.  I decided to move into Sales, did well but hated it as well.  I was laid off 6 months ago and have doneothing to figure it out.  Everyday I research online....If I could do whatever I wanted in the whole world...what would I do????  I have no clue.  I have no idea////I do not know what makes me happy........This is so depressing......Why can I not 'just know'?

epchick epchick
36-40, F
3 Responses Feb 14, 2010

I am in the same boat. My very first job was working the phones in a collection agency in high school -- hated that. Then moved on to work in the bookstore of my university - hated that but liked having money in my pocket to do things with friends. When I graduated, I moved into sales and marketing, and just went along for the ride of it. I was laid off a year ago and I sit and toy with different ideas of what I "could" do, but I can come up with every reason why I should or should not go for any of them. It's frustrating. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I want some direction, and I don't know where to get it. You are definitely not alone.

Oh, and by the way, since you don't have a burning desire to do something, look at the bigger picture. Direction. Do you want to help people, entertain people, work with your hands, or your head?Once you answer that, even if the answer is only, that's how you feel at the moment, start looking for a decent job that fills that requirement.

I suffered under the same delusion for years until I finally accepted the reality of not everyone knows what they want to do with their lives, for any number of reasons. Now, in looking back, having done a thousand different things, I wouldn't change a thing. Man, what a ride.