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No Direction

I am 22 years old and I have no idea what I want to do with my life. Not that uncommon? Yes, I know, I am told that almost every day. The trouble is, I'm the type of person who gets totally depressed and lethargic and can't/won't do anything when I have no direction in life. What I mean is, everyone just says "you don't have to know exactly what you want to do with your life, just get a college degree and your life will be better." I honestly have no idea how these people manage/managed to trudge through the crap and muck of it all and write papers and study for tests and do busy work and go to inane classes JUST because they knew they had to get a degree. I guess that's just not good enough motivation for me. Why? I NEED to know that my life is going to be better when I get through all this. I NEED to have a dream and I just don't. I know I want to live in a city, I know who I want to marry and that I want to have kids, I just don't know what I want to do for a living. It's so hard to keep going when I feel this way, and I have tried everything to come up with some kind of idea of a career, but nothing can really inspire me enough to do what it takes to get there. I don't really think anyone can help me, but I'd just like to know that I'm not alone and to hear how other people are coping.

zozozo22 zozozo22 21-25 225 Responses Mar 5, 2008

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dont believe in this "god", just opinion- there are too many religions, and self prac..ppl- christanity is only a religion of lies..-... btw- there is no "Heaven" it is but nothingness.... re-search what you are interesed in, but dont give in- for christianity- is but a joke, a, money maker- and turned native Americans into demons... 1st christians- or....lets say- real human beings...sry- but this christian word- shall never be capitalized- for their "rape" of humanity- will be remembered, just me, im speaking for all that agree... i grew up christian- tghen wiccan- which rocks!!!- then aethist, now to nothing.... just believe what fits you- **** your judgement, no one on this planet can decide anything for you... plz find what fits you- research it, and stick with it... after all you cant be judged unless you have a description... ppl want to play god, but like us=- will never happen- do as told, have failth in whatever religion you choose, and **** THE REST. Earth wasnt born for religion, just population...you cant be blind to the reast, pick yourreligion/ or say "none" what u choose- will be other ppl outlook on "you" no matter- like i said b4, **** em- religion or not, do what works for "YOU", in the best way you have "ever" had!!!!!!!

Pick yours friend!!! tough road, but **** 'em

which is why there" liars" are the only ones to pass a $ tray around...- who does that??? JUST A STUPID BUSINESS, how its been for a loooooooooooong time...think about it guy... stories over time? to make a book of city rules? c'fn on, ....BS" ok- just gonna say one thing- ok- 2, lol, sry-this "devil" is only for in that Christian bs, karma is def real- but located in " 1 religion" nor is "satan" only in the past 100 or 2 yrs- did this how come into play- just so ppl will put $ into the "HEAVEN" tray,like other religions... if ur good- u go to good place,...How bout i say this too- iv been a **** most of my life.... - when i wasnt- i was Wiccan.... awesome exp too man, I love them ;) satanic- i have had several friends.... but
they didn't believe in god...kinda weird, but- they ROCKED!! good mix of ppl, Regardless-i had more in more than i wanted to say-W/E
.... I am strong againt stupid liars, ppl- can create ****, but when **** hits the fan- who u gonna pray to? or just prove it, cause i can thru wicca- but DARK- still peaceful tho are some sides of voodoo- dont JUDGE til u can tell me otherwise.....sry guy- im goin off on my own rant....look- ppl can help you choose, but only you can be your own "batman" god,...life is weird tho, but you are the only one who can make it comfortable

You guys have no idea. Im 18 and feel the same with just about all of you. I tell myself I have goals and with my friends and family I tell them what it is. And when I say them. I like the idea. But then I get depressed. I know deep down what I said I want for a career. I don't! I don't find it achieving or motivational. I found this and it made me happy knowing others like me are out there :D so thank you all

where u live, answer will give an opinion- from a christian....lmao...but true...

I know the exact feeling. I've been searching the internet for a similar emotion scheme as me and this is as close as I have come. I'm currently 17 years of age and from/living in the UK. to cut the crap, in the UK, we have to decide our future at 16, not 18. I decided to avoid a-levels and go to a college that does just btec courses because its renowned for getting you apprenticeship opportunities (my initial goal). I've finished the first year of the course flawlessly with a Distinction* overall (A* equivalent). but I've gained no fulfilment what so ever, the best desc<x>ription of my self, is... empty. i have interests such as gaming and music but when i try to apply them to a work related scenario i don't see myself enjoying any of them. If i knew a possible career path, i would then have the confidence to (maybe) drop out of my 4 year long btec course to persure my dream within a-levels, which also ultimately opens up a series of options, but ultimately, like yourself, i find it very hard to proceed without complete omniscience within my future. to put it bluntly, I don't have the balls to pack up and leave my unfinished soul-sucking course without ultimate closure.

Man I'm 25 and don't know what I want to do with my life I have no gf the girls out here are just not good at all they are like weired gangster type girls HUGE (turn off) !! I keep trying to think and once I think I might be interested in something I do a little research and find something wrong! What's wrong with me aghhhh! Right now I've been considering becoming a sheriff but I don't know I was reading a lot of bad stuff about how corrupt and expressing it van be. To go to a call for a auto accident and everyone in the var is dead men women children ect .. Or to a house where someone committed suicide I'm not Sir I would like it at all maybe have me feeling worse. But the only thing I was interested in doing any of that is they are always going to need police, sheriffs,staters.. Its a job that will more than likely be there all the time, and I want to at least live comfortable where ever I am. I also want to travel see more than the city I qm in which is Albuquerque New Mexico. Where I grew up I see a lot of people struggling my parents did alright have a nice house always stocked up on food like crazy nice vehicles have flat screen TVs in every room connected to Comcast, high speed internet, and always have extra money for spending on what ever. They are not rich or poor but live comfortable. That's how I want to be have some sort of security where you have your house your car and know your bills will get paid every month. I have uncles,aunties, friends that are struggling to her by bareley able to pay their bills every month and never have extra money to do anything! I'm scared sh*tless that I'm going to end up like that! I want to see the world or at least travel all over the united states and see and meet new people. I'm stuck and it feels like I'm meant to not do anything because that's how a lot of people where I am from are like and after you see people like that your whole life it starts to be automatic wiering in you. But I always felt different from everyone else I refuse to believe that my life is not going any where I am SCARED S*ITLESS but it better to end up being a failure and knowing you at lest tried then to just except it and always say when I was younger I wonder if my life would of been like if I did this diffrent . even if I do end up like most people I dread turning into DAMN well god has a plan for everyone and if that was his plan for me all along who am I to second think him. Things happened for a reason but I've learned you cannot always just sit around and expect things to workout them selfs or come to you. You have to put in some of the effort but think of it like this 15-20 years from now you could either be in the same spot and mind set or just say **** it and try to take a chance and change something in your life and just try to change the way we think. I'm the type of person that would say I don't give a **** I'll get by one way or another but really right now is the time I have to man up and start doing something or I am going to end up like the people I gear like being the most, at least doing something I have a better chance of being successful than with what I'm currently doing. Everyone of my friends I grew up with and cousin all have girl friends wife's kids and feel like I'm the only one not moving forward, but god as my whitness I'm going at it 100mph now I'm going to do everything I possibly can to be proud of my life when I look back in 15-20 years and I also when my parents die for them not to worry for me for them to know I'm alrite and for them to be proud when they pass. I want to be one of those people we always hear saying I came from here if I can do it so can you! I always said bulls*it every time I heard that but when you get a certain age and start really thinking of your life seriously you have a different mind set start getting anxiety about stuff but I'm going to try to do some stuff different and hopefully won't be in the same spot reading this post I put years from now feeling like a dumbass. Everyone wish me luck!! Good luck and god bless everyone else be safe

I wish I was just 22 and felt your way. Instead, I'm 39 with the same issues - minus the wife, kids and degrees. I made the mistake of listening to other people when I was younger and ended up going to business school. I received a bachelor's degree in Marketing and a master's degree in Management. You would think that after all that time, and student loan debt, that I would be a vice-president of some small to mid-size company by now. That didn't happen. The furthest I got with my business degrees was store manager for a retail pharmacy. I had no personal life, because I was working all the time, and my kids hardly knew me for lack of being there for them. <br />
I have since re-invented myself twice. I started with the idea that maybe I should become a teacher. This would give me the weekends off, plus the summers, and definitely give me more time with my family. I ended up becoming a teacher, and was one for 4 years. I realized during this time that I wasn't cut out for mentoring hundreds, if not thousands of kids.<br />
I ruptured a disc in my back a few years ago and had to have surgery. While I was recovery from surgery, I had an epiphany, if you will, to go back to school and get yet another degree. My degree major this time was in Management Information Systems. I always had some sort of interest working with computers/technology over the years, so I thought this made the most sense. I have since graduated with my third degree and tacked on another thirty thousand dollars in debt. I do have a technology related job, but it is one that will never have opportunities for advancement. I'm tossing around the idea of acquiring a certification from Cisco. Adding this to the certifications I already have would hopefully make me more marketable to potential employers, but anyone familiar with this company knows that this isn't a certification that you can obtain overnight. The test you have to take to get certified are not cheap either.<br />
I am constantly looking back on my life, up to this point, and wonder what exactly have I accomplished with it. Don't get me wrong, I am truly blessed for the things I have in my life, and thank the good Lord for these blessings - from an individualistic standpoint though I just feel I have missed out on the reason why I'm here and what I'm supposed to be.<br />
I try to keep myself busy, to take my mind off the empty feelings I have, but unfortunately they keep resurfacing for one reason or another. <br />
What I have to keep telling myself is, is that life is more than having an awesome job. It's not about trying to keep up with the Jones family, and it's not about how many friends you have. It's about being comfortable in your own skin. Whether that is accomplished through involving yourself with a church group or maintaining a healthy regimen of medication - keep after that goal and one day it will come.

"Modo Fac" (just do it). The one thing I remember from high school Latin. No matter what- I just keep going. I have my break downs---sometimes change is the consequence and sometimes not. But either way as long as I am doing something I am learning. I am learning what works for me and what does not. I have been the person alone not doing anything but wallowing in my own self pity/anxiety/depression/isolation. But i learned nothing in that space.
Allow urself to be open--- open to everything-weigh your options- and then if u notice u are saying no to everything- then say yes to the next- set reasonable goals. One day at a time.

It is your life. You get to live it however u wish. U will more than likely fail and be denied a lot. Yay! Guidence comes in strange ways- I hardly ever understand. Nor do I hardly know that what I am doing is what I want to do. But as one thing ends- another begins. But life is in ur hands and u have to begin something. Rather it's carrying that old lady's bags to her car or applying for school or a job u don't think ur qualified for.
I did what people said. I went college took on a load- did my best. Volunteered. Worked. Became apart of organizations. But during that time i was miserable. I was loaded on pills and had no interest in a direction. But then someone suggested I ride with them to where they used to work. For some odd reason I said yes. I left with a summer job and never been the same.
Whatever u do- u are apart of this society. And as much as some of us disagree with it- we got create the change from within it.

To start: spend a ridiculously long night staring at the stars.
Jump from a semi-safe cliff into a deep body of water.

Tell urself everyday u are beautiful and so is this world.

Wake up: walk out side and say yes.
Before bed: walk outside and say thank you.

Talk to random people. They feel as awkward as u.

Now, I take baby steps. Nothing is forever. I don't overload myself but I add a reasonable thing one at a time. I learn to manage that one thing and then go from there. I don't allow myself to sit down and chill until the day is done. And I may not know what I want to do as a job. But I've learned who I want to be as an individual. And that is priceless.
Thanks to all the people and places in this world.

I feel the same way due to a number of things.. I graduated high school wanting to be a cosmetologist. Worst idea ever 22 grand for getting terrible education on something that I'm never going to use in life.. I finished school and moved In with my boyfriend at the time he had four kids and I found out he was married he cheated always threatened me all I cared about was being with him i felt no one else cared about me so I needed him i was so lost in trying to keep someone who could care less about me I ended up wasting all this time and now I'm just realizing what's next ? Where do I go from here? I don't have a good job and I don't even know how to drive I have no friends and I have no clue what to go to school for if I decided to try and I feel I have no one to talk to I have no friends and I feel I have nothing to look forward to in life I don't see why I was put here I haven't accomplished anything and I don't know who to go to I feel so lonely and I feel like a failure others insist on me doing a medical program or going to school for something they want and I want something I like but I have no talents and feel like I wouldn't even be able to make in through college and get a degree even if I knew what I wanted to do I've wasted 4 years away and barely realized I haven't done sh*t with my life I feel like a loser and just won't ever amount to anything I feel like there's nothing left for me I feel I need to speak to someone but I don't know who

Hi, I know maybe i am too late to reply you but just came to your post via google (i literally typed exact same sentence as yours in a search bar and it let me to this thread). I am currently 20 almost sucidal..why? well no not because of bf or any silly **** (trust me, I am way more mature than my age) its just that I DONT KNOW WHAT I WANT IN LIFE ANYMORE. i remember i used to laugh used to dream used to work hard, good grades and all but i just dont see a point of all this NOW. My elder brother is in his early 30s successful and all..he targets me all the time saying you are so dumb how can you be that stupid you will never do anything with your life.

WOW... i feel Exactly the same... but i keep getting told to do a two year medical program. but... i cant see me being happy at All by doing something i dont enjoy for the rest of my life... and m family just doesnt understand that. They see it as a fast track job and secure and good money. :/ i dont know what to do...

You don't have to know what you are to become. Just start with the purpose of determining what you are not. Once you know all the things you no longer agree to do, you will discover what you want to once you find your joy. It doesnt find you. You have to be commited toturning off the limited beliefs and turning on possibility. Start by the right attitude and let the rest evolve until you collect more knowledge of yourself. Good luck!!!

Well I'm 20 years old and I don't know ow what to do with my life, I tried college and failed because I was pushed into it, I don't know much about tools, cars, or anything a normal man should. I feel like such a failure to myself and my parents. All I have right now is a job at a bakery with minimum wage, I don't have any direction and it makes me feel useless and depressed.

I can say I am in the same boat. Although I am about to be 30 this year. I still have no main goal. I also felt the same way about getting a degree in healthcare administration, and while I did start I am second guessing my decision. It is not that I don't follow things all the way though. I just lose interest very quickly. I just am not sure what I am really interested in. I don't know what my passion in...

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I'm 17 years old and a senior in high school and am currently so depressed about life. My family is so pushy when it comes to college and are so frustrated with me when I change my major every week or say I don't know what I want to major in. Honestly I don't want to go to college at all. I see no need for me to go cause I already know as soon as I get there I will hate what I have gotten myself into. I only like things temporarly so a big life decision like this is stressing me a lot. I already know who I want to marry and that I want to have kids and just be a stay at home mom but I know my family will pesterize me for the rest of my life

Maybe you don't want to live somebody's else idea of your life. It is yours. What ppl think of you is none of your buisiness its thiers. You are accountable to only one. You don't owe anyone anything. But you are here today in the present, making you the gift. You have to know that first do not let fear of the unknown or expectations keep you trapped. You limit your choices by not seeing you can be and do anything. When you don't see choices you panic. Your vision becomes more narrow. Feelings of being stuck are an illusion you create to do nothing.doing nothing is easy . You are going into college prepared to do nothing. Is the essence of who you are? Are you a nothing? I think not. Go into college determined to find that essence. Just know it will be hard. You will screw up. If you dont let yourself quit you will win. Struggles gives you the endurance needed to live fully alive. Dont ever pass on an oppurtunity to struggle. Its the only way you learn what you're made of.

I'm nearly 21 now and every single day of my life I wish desperately that I could go back to high school. Not because I had a great time and miss it, in fact, I hated high school so much I nearly didn't graduate and my gpa dropped to a 1.0 my senior year because I gave up entirely. The colleges I who accepted me ended up revoking my acceptance for not completing certain classes and up holding their standards. I said I didn't care if i went to a community college. Biggest mistake of my life. I'm floundering and have no direction and very unhappy. My grades are failing and i have now ruined my chances of succeeding (at least in a timely manor) in higher education and obtaining a job that I will enjoy and be successful enough in. Finish high school with decent grades and go to a four year institution, when you get there you will understand that things are different.

Im in the exact same boat as you im 22 and i live in a lame small tx town getting harassed by ******* cops everyday i am a talented musician and at least halfway smart but life is too much so i do h and it all feels better lol my life is probably worse than yours feel better

Hello,Im only 16 years old but I feel so depressed. From about 6 months or so, I want to die because I've nothing accomplished in life. I feel like im locked in a cage when Im being in my city and living my life at all, there are not alot of people that understand me and I cant find alot of real friendships,only some people to chill so I dont feel alone at all. Im not a bad student , I play the piano from 6 years ( but nothing that professional ,taking it more like a hobby ) , going to gym and doing all the stuff to make myself feel perfect. Most of the time Im playing computer games and being in the online community. Im preparing myself for life like learning to cook ( because I really enjoy it ) , reading and stuff. I've totally found my soulmate ( my girlfriend ). We're totally the same and we love each other but we're from different cities, so we cant meet eachother alot. The people in my city ,my age ofcourse, are mostly retards. They're totally the kind of people I dont even want to hangout so I feel lonely. I really feel the true happiness when Im travelling but Im not allowed to do it alot ,because Im still young and dont have any money to do it on my own. I have no idea what I want to do with my life, Im one of the "dreamers". I want the perfect life like in movies and im doing everything but it seems like not working for me. I dont know what I wanna do with my life at all and Im pretty confused. I had a bad childhood and that made me the sad person I am. I want to wake up and just live but things are not so easy. I feel like the school is the only life I have, when I have a vacation I feel like I dont have anything. Im only waking up at mid-day because I couldnt sleep at the night, staying on the computer , going out for about 1 hour or so and doing all the stuff I have to do. And that just keep repeating and it makes me sad. My biggest problem is the overthinking and probably the lacking of communication with people I'd like to talk with. I've tried drugs , ciggarretes , alchohol and going to parties but that's just not the life I want to live.

It sounds like you have gone thought a lot in your 16 years of life. I also tend to overthink a lot and get stress out very easily when I do not know what to do. First, I think you are way too young to think you have not accomplished anything in life. You just starting to live. I am only going to be 22 and still feel pretty young, I graduated from college last year, I am a psychologist and currently work as a counselor. My parents are putting pressure on me to go back to school to do my master, but I have no idea what I want to study and that makes me feel really bad. Anyways... going back to your case, since you tried drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, parties, and I am super glad that's not the life you want to live, then I have another choice for you and I am 100% sure this one is not going to leave you empty. Here goes... try having a close relationship with God ! yes I became christian (not catholic) two years ago and since then my life have changed a lot. Would never regret it. Also, my boyfriend used to be depressed a lot, and since he started going to church with me, reading the bible and of course living the word, his life is so different that I am even amazed by seeing him. You are not alone, there is a God who knows you more than anyone, more than you parents or your girlfriend, and the best part is that He is willing to help you. Just try.. what you have to lose?

I am 28 years old, from Boston, mother of two boys, I've been with their dad since I was 15. We both come from pretty messed up homes and that's pretty much what drew us together. Trust me when I tell you I've been through it all. My parents divorced when I was 7 due to my fathers heroin addiction and drug induced stupidity, for example, placing a loaded gun in my hand at the age of 7 and making me point it at my mother while he giggled like a kid on Christmas watching her scream and run for her life, or even putting me behind the wheel of a car, also at the age of 7, and telling me its time I learn to drive, and I did, and the list goes on, I think the endless affairs was the least of my mothers worries compared to everything else. My mother struggled as a single mother to two girls but she made it, well financially she made it, emotionally, not so much. We didn't have the greatest relationship, actually it kind of sucked, and still kind of sucks, but she's not entirely to blame for that, she dealt with much worse, but that's her story to tell.

I was diagnosed with clinical depression, ADD, BPD (borderline personality disorder), OCD, severe anxiety, and ODD at the age of 13, all diagnoses have been confirmed by many specialists over the years. Needless to say I was a pretty messed up kid. After the divorce we moved to a new town where I was severely bullied for years, to the point I made several suicide attempts, looking back now though, I think they were more of an outcry for help than an actual attempt to end my life, I just felt stuck, and at such a young age I couldn't comprehend what I was feeling, let alone express it to another person. I started drinking at the age of 12 and smoking weed at 13, luckily for me, other than a one time experience with ecstacy at the age of 15, I never got into heavy drugs. I was constantly sneaking out and getting in trouble, getting into fights at school and getting suspended, which I didn't care about at the time because I rarely went to school back then anyway. I was failing every subject, my school at the time didn't care about my ADHD or any problems I had learning and offered no help, so I felt there was no point.

After being expelled, my mother sent me to live with my father for about a year hoping he and my step mother could straighten me out, I couldn't take living with my father anymore so I went back home. Eventually, my mother came to the conclusion that moving back to our home city would fix the problem, it didn't. I kept partying, kept drinking, kept being picked up by the police. When I was 15 I met my husband, same kind of background, worse believe it or not, and we were instantly inseparable. He had been previously diagnosed with most of the same conditions I suffer from, minus the BPD and replace it with Bipolar. He was 17 when we started dating and was just getting out of foster care, his mother wanted nothing to do with him so my mother took him in. That was a horrible idea, we were constantly getting in trouble.

My mother kicked us both out after having the police show up at the house at 2am tearing the house apart looking for us, of course we weren't there, we expected it. So she kicked us out, 15 and 17 years old, with nowhere to go. At first we'd go from friend to friend crashing on couches until we ran out of friends. We ended up meeting a group of people who set up camp under a bridge in downtown boston, they had room for us so that was our home for about 4 months. I'll never forget waking up shivering and numb under a pile of snow, it started snowing in the middle of the night while we were sleeping. After a while we learned a few hustles to make enough money to eat, and no I never went down "that" route. But I learned how to shut my emotions off and become cold, so I could bring myself to steal from hard working people and not feel guilty about it. Before we resorted to hustling and stealing, we did try to go to shelters and get help, but it was so backwards, no shelter would take me in because I was under 18. There were churches that served lunch and dinner and we could go there on certain nights, and there are vans that drive around downtown handing out blankets and hot chocolate and sandwiches, etc to the homeless. But it wasn't enough, I needed the comfort of a bed, a real shower, not one in a battered women shelter where I had to wear shower shoes and listen to ten angry women bang on the door yelling at me to hurry up. I managed to call my mom every day from a pay phone to let her know I was alive and to apologize and ask to come home, the answer was always no. I did manage to get one night at home, when I was picked up for pan handling, the police told my mom if she didn't come get me they'd call DSS, they were still called DSS back then, so she came to get me, I had a nice hot shower a hot meal and a night in my own bed, I would have cried happy tears that night if I hadn't been so exhausted and passed out the second my head hit the pillow, but the very next morning I had to be out.

We were on the streets for about a year until eventually our "hustles" caught up with us and my boyfriend was arrested. I tried staying out there on my own, I was now 16 and scared and now alone. I sucked it up and called my boyfriends mother, her husband convinced her to take me in. She lived about an hour away, she came to pick me up the next day and I stayed with her and got a job and saved enough money to get an apartment, my boyfriend got out of jail after a few months and we moved into our own place. We were both working and everything was going great, I was only 17 but I felt like I had it all together, we had our own apartment, no more cold nights outside, we both had jobs, so no more hustles, life was great. Now remember that list of conditions we were both dealing with, well neither of us were being treated, and slowly but surely things started falling apart. I got pregnant, with my oldest son who's now 10, I lost my job and the depression started taking its toll. My boyfriends mind was all over the place, we were constantly fighting, and things got really ugly. He ended up losing his job after going off on his boss, then the anxiety started, he had a pregnant girlfriend at home and now no income and we were about to lose everything we just worked so hard for, and then came the "hustles", which he eventually got arrested for, which left me alone and pregnant and EVICTED. This time my mother let me come home, and also my boyfriend when he was to be released from jail, on the condition that we both go to counseling and get proper treatment, and we did. From that point on things have been fairly good, well no more trouble or hustles or jail. We stayed with my mom for much longer this time, until we knew we could make it. We now have two boys, my 10 year old who I mentioned earlier, and my 4 year old, the loves of my life and my greatest achievements, and we have a nice home. That life is far behind me, but not too far that I can't remember exactly what got me there and what got me out. I'm now 28 and my husband is 30, we've come along way, but I still feel lost.

I can't figure out what I want to do with my life, I feel like I don't have a passion for anything and nothing is motivating me. I went to school for medical office when I was 21, I realized I absolutely hated it, then I went to school for human services and dropped out after the first semester. In 2008 I got my certificate for dental assisting, I worked at a pediatric dental office for a little over a year, I wasn't too into dental assisting but I was good at it and I loved where I worked, the girls I worked with were awesome, and I had the best boss anyone could ask for, but when my sisters husband, (my oldest sons godfather) was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer I was taking off a lot of time to help her out with my niece and nephew and around the house, eventually I realized I just wasn't going to be able to work so I quit, my brother in law, sadly, passed away a year later.

Since then I've worked some minimum wage jobs and just wasn't happy. My husband tries to help me figure out what I want to do but I can't think of anything. I'm extremely depressed, I just know that I want to do SOMETHING. I feel like there's something I'm meant to do and I just can't figure out what that is. The only thing I can think of, aside from family of course, that I've ever had any kind of passion for is helping people. I don't know if it's because of what I went through, but I do enjoy volunteering at shelters and soup kitchens, and I'm always trying to teach my kids to give back, we don't have a lot of money but we get by and we're better off than we've ever been, I want my kids to know that just because you don't have a lot doesn't mean you don't have enough to give to someone with less. I've had people turn to me for help because I know my way around this community and have access to many resources, my oldest son has ADHD and anxiety and is on an IEP and my youngest son has autism, so I've reached out and learned a lot and can pass this information on to others. I made a facebook page for parents of kids with learning disabilities, it was mostly for me to reach out to other moms when my son was first diagnosed, because at the time I didn't know any other moms who had experienced what I was going through, I ended up reaching a lot more people than I had anticipated and I am very happy with it. Not only did I find moms who gave me great advice, but I found that I was able to help them just as much, and I truly love that feeling. I love working with kids, and I love helping people find their way, which is very ironic considering I feel so lost myself. My husband and I sometimes talk about "what if we hit the lottery and won millions", we both have the same idea but don't know exactly how it would work, we'd want to have a program to help people get to where they need to be in life, whether it's an addict in need of help, or a troubled teen in need of a home, or someone who just lost their way. I know there's programs out there similar to this, but in my experience, none of them really cut it. Obviously I can't plan my future around winning the lottery, I need a realistic plan and I just can't seem to come up with one. I've thought about working with DCF, I know their system is highly flawed and I would love to make a difference, but the problem with that is I'm extremely emotional, and the first time I couldn't help someone I would feel like a failure, like I let someone down and I wouldn't be able to live with that. Same reason I don't think I would cut it as a substance abuse counselor, which was my plan for awhile. I see my father in every addict I meet, and as flawed as my father is, he's the only father I have and I love him and I want him to be happy and free of the demons that still haunt him today.

I keep thinking that I'm getting older, I'm running out of time, my kids are getting older, how am I supposed to give them direction when I can't direct myself. Luckily, by some miracle, I've managed not to screw them up so far, they're some pretty amazing kids, though I may be a bit biased lol.

I need a plan, a realistic one for me, what's realistic for some may not be realistic for others. I also don't have much of an education as I'm sure some of you can tell by reading this, please excuse any grammatical errors. I am intelligent I can tell you that much, as in I have the ability to learn and apply the knowledge I've acquired, the problem is that I didn't have access to the same information, or education as others. A lot of people think that because they're packed full with useless information that they're smarter than others, no it just means you can remember stuff, congratulations.
I believe education is way too important to be as expensive and as hard to obtain as it is, that will never make sense to me, but let me not get into that now because I'd be here all night.
I don't expect someone to read this and come up with some miracle answer to all my problems, but for those of you in the same boat, I promise you're not alone.

You should be a counsellor. A lot of programs take a year or so. Or a guidance counsellor at a high school for example. I can't even believe your story by the way. It's not your fault.

Thank you, I have actually considered counseling but wasn't sure if I'd be of any help, but it won't hurt to explore that option again, thanks :)

I agree, try counciling, im 26 stuck, with no eduction too.

You’ve been through a lot. If I were in your position, I don’t think I could have managed
it as well as you have, and I say well because you got out of it and demonstrated it is possible. In my case, I had what its considered a "normal" life and family, I went to college and I am planning on doing a master, however I do not have idea on what. I want to express my admiration to you, you’ve shown a lot of courage and I thank you for sharing your experiences. I totally agree with you on the potential you have and I think you would do great and enjoy the social work field. You are still young, not even 30. If go ahead and study, you will still have at least 20 year of work in you career. In terms of cost you can apply to financial aid, I am pretty sure they will pay if not for everything, at least most of the education. A good tip its to start in a community college which is cheaper and after the "two years" you can transfer to a university. I wish you the best and congrats for you two amazing kids, God bless you!

Wow, I'm amazed your still alive and sane enough to write your story with such passion. You need to remember where you came from and be proud of where your at. Even though you don't feel you have a direction you have a story that would help a lot of youth and adults. The reason you have no job and you quit on the spot like that day is because you have another calling somewhere, sometime.. There is opportunities for those who stand there ground and hold there head up high and really own who they are and stand by it and be proud. I have spent over 7/10 in and out of jail stuck in a cycle of misery, deceit, and selfishness because I had no idea what opportunities where out there. All you need is the desire to share the things that you love or your experience, or a service. Anything can turn into opportunity if your looking. My advice to you and you do sound like you have good communication skills as you need those things to survive on the streets. If you enjoyed hustling back when it was fun turn life into a legal hustle everyone loves bright and fun people expecialy when they have such an amazing story and can be around to share experience and opportunity. Good luck and God Bless

2 More Responses

I'm 19 with two kids, a loving boyfriend, and no direction whatsoever. Money isn't a problem, but my lack of ambition is. I need something to occupy my time. I don't really have any friends. I have no talents, hobbies or interests. I take college classes online, and I don't have a job. I'm extremely depressed, overweight, and just like you, I can't/won't do anything when I don't have any direction. I sleep all day or spend time on the computer playing games, playing with my children, or watching tv. I want to do well and succeed for my children, I just don't know what to do or how to go about doing it. Please help me.

It is good you are taking online classes. That is a good start! Since I do not have kids and I do not know your specific situation my advised may or not work for you. I will suggest you to try to go to attend classes in a school instead of the online classes. You can start as an undecided major with your general requirements and on the way you may find something you enjoy. I do not know where you live, but in the agency I work, they have a day care and it is pretty neat and clean. Since you have time now, you could perhaps go online and do some research on the resources in you area/city. Try to go the board of education and ask what they can offer you for you kids. There is always help, you just have to look for it, and I mean really taking action, making phone calls..etc. Also, if you go to school you can start making friends and interact with people. Wish you the best !

ba<x>sed on all the stories I read here, people need hobbies and creative thinking to make their hobbies to career/jobs and explore potential career either through college, internships, or volunteer. A lot of people need support and motivation ,focus, self discipline& responsibility (to not ruin accomplishments), need independence and money through a okay to good job. A tough skin and Wisdom ( life experience to sail through the storms of life). Perhaps even a change of environment WITHIN REASON. Easy said than done. I analyze things now.<br />
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I'm 20 years old now. I will share my story honestly here because it's easy to share it online than to the people I know. I come from a toxic dysfunctional domestic violence type of home with parents full of problems from depression to hoarding and problems getting a good paying job. I was a strong little kid full of life and ambitions, friends, hobbies and dreams. As I got older I had to deal with home problems and school problems like bullying and worrying about my safety since I went to a dangerous school in the ghetto unfortunately. I was different than everyone and didn't fit in. I worked hard and got good grades and worked through all problems and went to a fashion high school in Manhattan NYC. There I developed so much anxiety and developed depression. My strength wore off. I had to deal with the horrible high school environment with bitchy materialistic fake students and I hated going to school both teachers and students made it a horrible experience. I didn't know if I wanted to go into fashion because of all the bullshit, anxiety and abuse of workers and models and depression that exist in it. I don't want to be in so much corruption. But you should have seen my work I was very talented and I'm used to be good in art. I don't do art or fashion because of my depression and because the school broke my dreams it was such a tough environment for such a unprepared and sensitive fragile broken soul. I have graduated 2 years ago. After graduation I decided not to go to college because 1 it was a bull **** system like the board of ed of NYC, 2 it can very expensive and can run into debt 3 I was unprepared scared and BURN OUT i needed a break and didn't want to mess college up because financial aid will be taken away and paying for school will be much harder to accomplish and 4 the most important of all I felt lost and don't know what to major in. I needed a job badly and had no experience what so ever. My biggest mistake was not applying for a job before graduating high school and not taking advantage of city programs that help youth get job like summer youth all though it's like a lottery not everyone gets a job. I was stuck at home with no friends since I broke my friendship (they were two faced and fake), no money, no experience, no school and my depression was taking over. I was becoming more dead each day that passed and losing myself and my personality just everything that makes who I am . I tried to get help by going to a clinic to get a therapist , they didn't help just take advantage of my medicaid, they gave a paper of a program who help kids out of school get jobs and that program was **** they send me to this ****** telemarketing job which I quit in less than a month, then later I got a temporary job from a teacher I still was in contact with which was a community chef that job was okay but was temporary so I couldn't keep it. Then the ****** job program from before convinced of a job I regret to this day and most of my suicidal thoughts and depression comes from the most . That job was to be a home health aid. Basically a job where you sign with a agency and got to elderly people homes and help them with chores or medicine. It's not a job for young people this job will depress you and make you fear of aging. I'm traumatize I don't want to ever age never to see my body break down in the most shocking way and would LOVE to die young than to see myself be a alive corpse like these people(no offensive for any other adults out there but this is my experience). I'm now messed up way more than when I graduated high school. I hate myself every ******* day. I was very vulnerable alone scared and had no support from NO ONE. I have no direction in life no guidance. I was naive and living in a bubble and this why this happened to me. You can't trust people these days, you can't be naive or stupid. You have to educate yourself as much as you can. You have to be careful and always stay calm and THINK. DON'T LISTEN TO OTHERS ONLY LISTEN TO YOURSELF AND WHAT YOUR HEART WANTS. YOUR HEART TELLS YOU WHAT YOU WANT AND BRAINS SAYS IF IT'S OKAY. The teacher that I stayed in contact told me that caring for people was honorable and a beautiful thing but it's horrible because that's not for everyone and YOU MUST DO ONLY THINGS THAT YOU'RE COMFORTABLE WITH. Like I said I was in a deep depression relapse and I needed money since my parents wouldn't even give my necessities like soap among other things. I wasn't in a good fr<x>ame of mind so this what happened to me . After this horrible episode of my life I finally realized how important school is and why everyone says to go and that's what you're supposed to do and blah blah blah because if you don't you will end up in a ****** job you hate getting a low pay. Even if you majored in something and figured out too late that you don't want to do that you can always change or if your degree at least you have a temporary good paying job that doesn't destroy your self worth and ego. Just saying I'm not judging anyone all I'm trying to say is it's not all bad for you guys you still have options and solutions. I now go to a community college which is okay just full of immature kids in their late teens who haven't experience horrible life lesson **** yet. It's very much like high school. I now have a normal job in retail . I wished I didn't had to learned everything the hard way. I still feel empty dead and lost. I still don't know what to major in after graduating community college since I'm in liberal arts and that only covers the basic. I still have the no direction in life and still deal with my self hatred and depression. I don't know how to move from my horrible experience but being really busy in school and in my new job helps to forget. I hate applying to new jobs because of this ******* job that haunts me, it makes me look bad and I'm so ******* ashamed. I puts this title on me. I can't tell anyone I know because they will judge me and emotionally I'm too vulnerable to handle that. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger I disagree with that ba<x>sed on everything I lived through what doesn't kill you strengthens and weakens you at the same time. Wish all the best of luck for all of you 20 something and the rest of the world who is struggling with this internal **** we have in common. Stay strong stay smart and educate yourself through books and documentaries, make good friends and analyze and question everything ( I didn't do that before). Get a support system and make the best reasonable and responsible decisions.

wow dude...you are truly awesome. you pretty much summed most of it all. I feel crazy because of all this crap. most of what you said if not all is pretty much dead center correct and im glad I found this because I thought I was the only looney bin thinking this. wish I could talk to ya more because obviously this shet is ridiculous! great advice though and I say that same shet. amen brother keep it real and hit me up guys we gotta all figure dis shet it out
peace
im 19

I'm in a similar situation as well. I'm 22 now, I went to community college when I wasn't feeling it at the time cause I felt forced since I couldn't find a job at the time after I graduated high school. I failed all my classes, killed my gpa, and was on academic probation. Around then I had found a job, a crappy low wage job that I stayed with for two years (I tried doing 1 class for a semester cause that's all I could afford) and I was at a comfortable state where I didn't want to find another job or go to school. I still live with my parents, I just wish I had gone away to school. Now, sitting here at home jobless, with no car, no associate's. My depression has gotten worse where as I've isolated myself from anyone, no friends, haven't left my house for days if not weeks. I've struggled with depression most of my life and its eating me up. I'm trying to find a job and transfer to another community college and fix my mistakes the way I can.

Believe me your not alone. I will be forty in 6 months I have a career. I've been with the same company for 18 years. The only person holding me back from change is myself. I feel like I've gone no where in life. With that being said I have I was married for eleven years, I have three wonderful children. I've met the love of my life. I'm broke and I feel like my job is taking me no where

damn bro I feel you keep it real, do what you gotta do feel what is right and do what you need ya digggg brothaaa

I am in a somewhat similar situation. I'm about a week away from getting my college degree, in a major that I am not passionate about (great time to figure that out right?). Well what this means is that I have about three weeks to move out of my college house and find a job in a new city, but I can't bring myself to apply to any jobs because they don't interest me. I want to work for a cause that I believe in, but I don't know what that is yet. I'm afraid that if I take a lowly job to begin with, I will get stuck doing something boring and unfulfilling for too much of my life. This whole situation is causing me extreme anxiety and at times I feel seriously depressed. :(

woah..thats exactly whats happening with me for the last year or so !!! i can't give-up my degree course cause its almost over and i won't have anything if i leave it !! but my life has gotten much worse since i joined college i can't continue doing what I'm studying anymore(yeah...really dumb of me to take up something i wasn't fully sure of) but anyway now i know i can't and because of this i have completely lost interest in it and have been getting frighteningly low grades ever since....i have no direction ,full of anxiety and this has gotten really really depressing !!!

I did it, I did just that, I went to college because it was what I was supposed to do. Nobody cared that I didn't have "a dream" or goal to reach. Just that I went so I did, hoping to be inspired along the way. And I fell into a major because the classes were fun and my friends were there and I happened to be good at it. People started counting on me so I couldn't leave just because I wasn't sure, people depended on me. I was important, and hey, I'll learn to love it. Then I graduated and fell into grad school. Hey, we are in a recession, the best place for me is school while jobs are scarce, right? Three years later, I come to realize that all that school has just taught me what I don't want to do. Now I'm sitting on a mound of student debt, I'm a broke waitress with a Masters degree in a new town not knowing how I am going to pay the bills at the end of the month and I feel empty. Cause at the age of 27 and after 8 years of school, I still don't have a dream.

damn..im speechless. let me know how lifes working out . I wanted to do this. should I just stay away from school? so much confusion..

I was and still am in the same situation (sort of). I decided to slow everything down for a year and rediscover myself. Counseling helps, if you've got a good therapist.

But the thing is that time waits for no one. I used to hate hearing that but now I value those words. I wrote down things that I need/want to improve (my attitude...), things that I need/want to learn (knitting! hurray!) and things that I need/want in the future (a bigger bed?) before I die; and I'm now slowly working towards those aims. I figured, if I can't have a dream, I might as well have ambitions that keep me motivated to get out of bed every morning ("Gotta finish that knitting project for sis's new baby"). Note:These are just examples, I'm not really into knitting.

I'm yet to decide what to major in but at least now, I have options. I find the fewer the better. Unlike before when I felt like I couldn't amount to anything. If you want to start feeling better and to open yourself up to more opportunities, you first have to add value to your life. Figuring out stuff you're bad at will make things you're bad-*** at suddenly seem clearer. Everyone has a purpose, no matter how humble. Sometimes the adventure of figuring out what it is, is what becomes the purpose of your life. At least for now.

:)

Wow... reading this post. this is something :) i've been thinking about myself recently on how will i improve or where to start on getting an ambition and goals for me and these makes sense.. im 26 and still confused in my future...

I'm glad it helped (^ ^)

Im 22 years old. Female. Lived on the beach with my best friend, right down the street from my boyfriend. Lived a carefree beach life but had the worst anxiety everyday. I worked at night as a restaurant server, and have probably around 50 community college credits under my belt with no direction and not a great GPA. Anyways, everyday I would over think "what am I doing with my life?" I would research what to do online and constantly dread going to work to serve tables. I made a decent amount of money but I felt stuck. So what did I do? decided not to re-new my lease and move in with my Dad who lives about an hour and a half away. Now Im here in a town with no one I know. Doing nothing. Cant find a job, no direction, just diagnosed with depression. I dont know what to do. I know I am not old but what the heck do I do? I dont want to serve tables anymore it makes me feel so worthless. But, i also dont know what to major in, no school would accept a low GPA like mine. I know I just need to suck it up, restart community college, and hopefully by then have SOME sort of direction of what major to choose. I know I cant dwell on the past, but it is hard to be away from what I am comfortable with. Away from my friends, my boyfriend. And for what? To be completely unhappy. Miserable. What do I do? I wish there was a map.

This sounds a lot like the past 6 months of my life.

It's nice to hear someone talk about something relatable

I am in the same exact situation. I feel like I'm losing myself completely..and I don't even know how to start picking up the pieces.

Ok so I'm 18 and I have no understanding of what I want to achieve, all I know is that by January I want to know where I'm going because let's face it its not going to happen over night ay, I get so drained in by every ones opinion I forget what my own is and that's what really counts right? So I haven't had the best childhood ever, with two half brothers one from either parent and a loving mum and dad in a happy family my life was fantastic at the age of 7 then it all started to happen my mum and dad broke up and my brothers left home to live with there other parents so it was just me and my mum at home which I came to terms with pretty quickly for the age I was at, I had a lot of counsiling which I loved to go to because well it got me out of lessons at school also it was nice t talk to them as well then my father past away when I turned ten and it sent my mum and all my family in to melt down, I wasn't really sure what to do with my self either, after a few years past me and my mum started to argue a lot mostly because she wasn't around a lot and spent most of her time with her new boyfriend I then left home at 14 to live with my grandparents who care so much for me it's a little to much, as their my grandparents and not my parents, around 1516 I started going out drinking and taking drugs from weed to pills then to extracy now cocaine, I was given 12,000 pounds at 17 wich went on a nice little car and insurance the rest on drugs alcohle and having a good time with my friends i then resieved 20,000 pounds when I turned 18 wich then again mostly went on drugs alcohol holidays and you name it i spent it.... In 9months... Rediculous I know. I'm now in my over draft and have a loan to pay off of 400 pounds which makes it sound even more mad the fact I'm 18, I have always gone through patches where I'm either really happy it's unreal and nothing can brake me to feeling broken and worn and the world caves in on me, reading the fact you guys are feeling like me has made me realise what I need and that's not to feel like this I need to feel charged with out getting out of my nut I love feeling powerful and looked up to which in my case people used to but seeing them pulling them selves together and me not I can feel my self dropping, printing so many negative thoughts into my head its horrible and I don't want to be 30 living with my grand parents or parents, or still partying what I really want Is to have that dream home and dream car in front of me, now I don't have a clue how to get there yet but I sure will do soon because all these stories have scared me showing me every thing what I don't want to be, now I'm not saying it to upset people but come on who wants this ****? No one! No one wants to be like it, but who's gonna change it, no ****** except you your the only person, so if you can't look to next year, next month, next week, or even tomorrow! Look to the next hour to the next second because were all living in the past as far as I can tell and thinking so much into **** that were not doing it! Massive reality check for me tonight and I'm sure they wll keep coming as I start to improve my life rather than thinking about improving it.

I'm 22 years old, male and directionless. I was raised to believe that you always have to try to do the right thing. Unfortunately I was also taught that I come last in those considerations. Always sacrifice yourself. Do your part to make this world a less punishing experience. It has culminated in me drifting from job to job in the service industry where people constantly abuse each other. I've come from homelessness, to living with a highly functioning meth-addict (culmination of poverty and necessity) until I was dangerously threatened for trying to help, then back to homelessness. I've got a dollar for bus fare to my name. No college and no family to help. No friends that don't take advantage of me. No luck romantically either. I'm starting to learn that the best way to earn enough resources to support yourself is to be as selfish and dishonest as possible. As up to this point, me doing the right thing has benefited others, and financially and soulfully crushed me. It seems to come down to two choices: martyr yourself for the satisfaction of knowing you were a good person, or step on everyone as benefits you and afford some comfort and success. I no longer feel spiteful toward those who choose the latter, and realize that acceptance is the ultimate tool to approaching your unavoidable future.Long story short, practice acceptance regardless of your convictions. You'll die more peacefully.

This is a very common problem,

The best thing to do is "GET INVOLVED""GET INVOLVED""GET INVOLVED" I mean really get involved!!. Become a "YES" man. You must rethink and fight against any thoughts that are "been there done that" “ there this type, I’m that type” small minded Bullshit. You are young and have your entire life ahead of you. Experience everything (good and some bad) but most importantly don’t be afraid to BE HONEST!!! (People know bullshit when they here it even if they don’t tell you!!!!!), people will gravitate towards your honesty and respect your courage and respect you as a person more. Also, by being honest and expressing yourself you will begin to learn who you really are (for better or for worst). If you have the guts to follow your heart you will find what it is you like to do most and I will guarantee it is not sit on the couch or sleep in uncontrollably.

What to do? I have the same situation. Im stuck and my plans did not play out as I though of. Im isolating myself from my friends because I don't want to burden them, i dont want to meet up with them and just talk about my problem, because I have always been the listener, the rational and the opinionated one. I did not show them my soft side coz Indont want to burden them. I find it really hard.

Molly Ringwald said “When you’re in your 20s you’re actually not that much more grown up than you are when you’re in your teen years, but everyone kind of expects you to be in this different place”. I think this pressure she's referring to contributes a lot to how we perceive ourselves as failures, or have that overwhelming feeling of anxiety that constantly washes over those of us who haven't quite decided on everything, aren't too sure about what we want, or are at a crossroads of reassessing our passions and dreams (a crossroad that is more like a road in itself). It effects me personally in that time seems to continue to speed up, and if I'm not doing something or learning something that I feel is going to contribute toward achieving my goal (which, right now, is finding out what that/those goal/s are), than I get frustrated and try and move onto something else, but everything takes so long, and it's hard to have patience when you don't feel grounded. It's a perpetual state of uncertainty and indecisiveness. I get jealous when I see people who are certain of their passions and dive in head first, sure and committed.
I spent 5 years on-and-off at university studying film and photography, in and out of different relationships, and have since up and moved to the other side of the world for reasons that I'm not even completely convinced of. I mostly wanted to travel and try and change my pattern of thinking I'd developed back home, which was neither a positive or pro-active mindset. I decided to "get experience" in the film industry over here, but the jobs I've worked I've felt have been more of a surrender to the tasks at hand, rather than something I'm focused and passionate about. While I've been able to get some work and make a few connections, I feel unprepared, almost like I'm deceiving people of my qualifications, and usually have a level of reluctance toward my jobs because of it. But on the other hand, I don't have a bigger picture of what I'd rather be spending my time doing. I've found so far, that I'm happiest when I have a good group of people to surround myself with. This idea makes me withdraw into romanticism of the past and get nostalgic for things that happened years ago, or "the way things were in 2009, boy I wish things were still like they were then!". While I place emphasis on the relationships (highschool friends that I might not be as close with anymore etc) when I get nostalgic, it usually boils down to my attitude and what I'm actually nostalgic for is the way (that I'm obviously choosing to remember) I used to be. I'm not sure if that sounds narcissistic, to be thinking about yourself to the point where you're comparing your present self to your past self, but I feel like I've become a less open, more guarded person and am more self-conscious and sensitive to peoples thoughts and reactions.
I feel like I dreamed of making films, but it was a simplistic dream that wasn't specific or thought-out enough to sustain me as vividly as I try to transition into some semblance of an "adulthood".

I could say a bunch more, but clearly everyone's self-worth and uncertainty are as complicated. I've been thinking about seeing a therapist, but I've never seen a counselor before and the idea makes me kind of nervous and edgy (an issue a counselor could probably help me to resolve since it probably stems from some form of social anxiety, but still, things seem a lot harder when you don't have comfortable group of people you can hang out with and discuss this sort of thing with).
I think partly because I've decided to separate myself from all the familiar people and things of home, a lot of which I don't have too much contact with currently, I've placed even more pressure on myself to achieve something to show for myself during this time where I've essentially chosen to isolate myself.

And on top of everything, the critical voice inside of me reflects on my concerns and worries and blows them off as procrastination. So, I'm pretty frustrated with myself a lot of the time.