No Direction

I am 22 years old and I have no idea what I want to do with my life. Not that uncommon? Yes, I know, I am told that almost every day. The trouble is, I'm the type of person who gets totally depressed and lethargic and can't/won't do anything when I have no direction in life. What I mean is, everyone just says "you don't have to know exactly what you want to do with your life, just get a college degree and your life will be better." I honestly have no idea how these people manage/managed to trudge through the crap and muck of it all and write papers and study for tests and do busy work and go to inane classes JUST because they knew they had to get a degree. I guess that's just not good enough motivation for me. Why? I NEED to know that my life is going to be better when I get through all this. I NEED to have a dream and I just don't. I know I want to live in a city, I know who I want to marry and that I want to have kids, I just don't know what I want to do for a living. It's so hard to keep going when I feel this way, and I have tried everything to come up with some kind of idea of a career, but nothing can really inspire me enough to do what it takes to get there. I don't really think anyone can help me, but I'd just like to know that I'm not alone and to hear how other people are coping.

zozozo22 zozozo22
256 Responses Mar 5, 2008

Ik exactly what you are feeling. I'm 17 and have no direction and I feel like I've lost myself... I want a goal to work towards!! Ive been feeling like this for a year and a half now and I feel like the best thing we can do is try to learn to live day to day. If u think of anything lemme know.

I can relate to you in every way imaginable. I'm 20 yrs old. I come from a family where I am the first to graduate, get my diploma and I have a couple of brothers and sisters, so they all look up to me. I want to set a good example for them but I don't know what the hell I want to do in life. I got to college full time majoring in Liberal Arts. I wanted to be an art teacher; I know they don't get paid much but I was okay with it because I would be doing something I enjoy and the best part of it would be teaching it to a whole new generation so it can live on. I gave up on it just today because I just could keep the motivation to. I've only been to college for about 4 months and I hated it. I don't have a job because I'm not motivated enough to get one. I have loving parents who go out of their way; making sacrifices for me, so I can succeed but I have no idea wtf I'm doing with myself. They think I don't appreciate them but I do, dearly. It's just, I'm so lost and I don't know which direction I'm going in. I've felt suicidal at times, but that's not the kind of person I am and also because I wouldn't want my family to mourn and think it's their fault. I'm glad to know there are other people that understand me. In a cheesey way it's kinda like we're alone together. Thanks for taking the time to read this if you got this far.

Wow this is exactly how I feel right now.

I'm 20 yrs old aswell and feel yur sane pain. I am currently studying on my last year at a catering and hospitality course (level 3) and I can't see myself pursuing this as a career. I can't are myself working in a professional kitchen. The course was free so I'm not bothered about that......

I felt the same way everyday for the past few years and i still do, the only way to get yourself out of this annoying reality is realising that you can be whatever you choose to be.You are only 22 years old, you have your entire life ahead of you.So sit down and choose who you want to be 50 years from now and the important thing is that you have to commit yourself 100%. Decide and put everything you've got in the course with absolute confidence. make your craziest dream your reality.

I'm exactly the same my friends I left school tried college but I can't manage with the bullshit tried working but I just can't stay motivated I had dreams of YouTube and football but I only stay motivated for day or two I spend countless hours on my Xbox or the gym I'm 18 and my life is actually really really depressing the only time I feel like I'm alive is when I'm online or out with my friends :(

But youre only 18! I wish I was 18 again just to see if I could have done things differently. On my days off from work, I too find myself on the xbox at home with my younger brothers and I feel like Im too old to be playing video games myself..The sad thing is..I do it KNOWING that I should be doing something myself. As for the gym, I am dragging myself there tonight after work around midnight lol. I am going to get out of my habits and doing the things..If I truly want to be happy. In 2014 I did very well with my fitness and I WAS VERY happy..until I met someone lol. But hey its truly the motivation thats hard..On days where you feel like you dont want to when you really NEED to go. Push yourself ! :) I am struggling too but the only reason why we are this way is because we ALLOW ourselves to be ! Here's to finding our paths in this world full of bullshit lol! :D Just don't be 22 like me and be in the same path you are in now dear.

I am reading this in January 2016 and have to say I feel very comforted by all of you who share the same thoughts. As a child of an immigrant family, expectations for me from a family coming to the states...were pretty high. I graduated high school in 2011( the first in my family bloodline in the US) and went to college for Early Education. Unfortunately, it was not what I wanted. Just recently last year I attended a community college thinking that the medical field was for me. After 4 months in working and going to school full time.... I dropped out. It is not a good feeling at all. Every time I log on Facebook and see posts of my high school friends about their happy successful milestones in their education or whatever they are pursuing in life....I feel like I was left behind somewhere haha. I LOVE the idea of traveling, outdoors, photography and also into the fitness world. Anything with those make me happy. I just dont think school is the way for me to go! :(.. I am currently self soul searching and finding myself scavenging the web for any advice and help ! <3. I just want to thank you all for sharing your thoughts . I am certainly not alone.

Fitness/Health, travel and outdoors sums me up, I am also turning 22 and fall into the comparison trap when I get on facebook. Lots of soul searching. Thank you for sharing, alask girl!

i have no idea what to do in my life

I just cried for a good hour today. I was in a Nutrition program at a decent University on my way to become a Dietitian, but I knew from the very beginning that I wouldn't last long in the field as I think it is too conventional and too shallow of a job to actually help those who are in need the most. I started thinking about what jobs I might be able to get if I had a nutrition degree; a doctor, or maybe a second degree in something else that I could do part-time while working full time as a dietitian. I had originally agreed to stay but this morning the owner of the house I was supposed to stay in next year told me that her daughter now wants the room and she is not renting it to me anymore. That house to me was not just a house, but a source of comfort. The University I am in is full of white people from a small agricultural town in Canada who really has not seen the world. I had the worst time fitting in and barely made any friends. Two of my friends live in that house that I was supposed to sign, now being abandoned by it last minute all the negatives about staying in this program in this school at this point of my life all came back and it really hit me tough.
I think, I am now transferring in English at another University. I want to become a journalist, or a teacher, a nurse, or even still a doctor given that I take the required courses and pass the entrance exam with a good mark. I'm not sure if this is the right path but, today I talked to a friend who I never thought could provide me with assistance in life, and he asked me, "why wait?". I wanted to strive in the health care / science field in my youth before going back to what I'm best at; writing, reading, the "arts" field if you may. I thought being more mature would give me an edge in the arts field so that at the end of my life I would have tried out both the technical and arts field and it would be more complete. But then in most honesty I know almost for a fact that if I stay in my current university continuing on with the Nutrition degree fighting for a job that I know will only be temporary, why waste the golden years of my youth on it? Maybe I'm just short-tempered and not patient enough, but I still think that if it was that difficult for me to convince myself to stay in this program and maybe get a second degree later so I could leave the field I'm about to enter, I might as well just not enter it at all and save the coming 6 years of my life to be spent on something more meaningful. Something I can tell my kids or friends when I'm old and wilted about how much of hell I've walked through and how much I've seen, instead of how much I hoped for the future only to be landed and have stayed in comfort and safety, aspiring to be something else but not having the courage to step out due to comfort and call it a day.
I still have no idea what exact job I would like to have. To be honest I've never had a real job in my life and I'm about to turn 20. But I guess that's okay (?). At least I'm free to do whatever I want, in a free country, healthy, have some dear friends, family, and youth. I'm a lot better than most of the students in this world of my age. And I'm sure you are too. If you're reading this and going through the same thing, remind yourself that really you aren't alone. We may never meet in real life but take my words for it that we will turn out alright.


Thank you so much for this. We are kidred souls, you and I. I highly considered being a dietician, I am drawn to health and science, but I shine in the arts. It's a struggle.

So what do we do? Because I'm stuck. Seriously. I feel the exact same. I'm 20. Lived on my own for awhile. Times got tough moved back in with the parents got a job but it's not a career. I don't wanna be there forever. I have a two year degree. I don't wanna go back to college because have no idea what I want to major in. I like and hate everything. It's hard. Life's rough. I just wish I had some idea of a direction I wanna go in. But like someone else on here said if I have nothing going on in my life I have no motivation to do anything. I can't make myself be motivated because I don't know what I wanna put time into. I don't know what I should be.

Hi zozozo22
So I read this and I am 20 going on 21 and relate to this completely. I'm in my 4th year of Varsity and have no idea what is next for my life and sometimes it is EXTREMELY depressing not knowing whether I am going in the right direction or what to do next.
I realise that you wrote this about 7 years ago (can't believe 2008 is 7 years back :0..crazy) anyway, I just want to know if you figured it out, if you made it through the dark hallway of uncertainty... because I completely relate to this post. I'd appreciate a response of some sort from someone who has been there.
Thank you !

21, turning 22 in August. I have not been to college yet, as I didn't want to waste money and invest hours doing something I loathed. I obtained a CNA license, took 2 months, and loved my job but was severely overworked and kept getting hurt from the conditions. It was never meant to be a career choice, and so I left that job and have hopped around since. Even though this is not abnormal for your 20's, it still doesn't feel good, or right. We'll find our way, in good time. You have a friend in me, dear. <3

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@zozozo22 I'm happy to hear I'm not the only one , I'm 23 years old i live in the UK, manchester
i always thought when i grew up stuff would fall into place, i went college for 3 years did vehicle body repair when i left school at 16, 7 yrs on I'm in n out of warehouse jobs, and i can't do it anymore, and the minute i start thinking about my future and all i want to do is provide for my girl and future kids! I want to have a good life its not worth living if every single day of my life will be thinking about how to make more money to help provide. I have no idea whats next i wish there were something that i were just so passionate about. Well there is one thing music, I'm a rapper believe me when i say I'm actually a good rapper, but whats the chances right ? no studio time, no funds, it won't work, i hope you people find what your looking for in life, and i hope you find that one job you love, GOD BLESS YOU ALL AMEN.

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Yeah I'm 18 and my mom and dad are pretty much forcing me to go to college after I graduate high school in May but I don't want to go. I'm just going to some community college for two years before I have to go to a real college but I have no real ambition. I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life. Some jobs seem like they'd be cool but I'd be doing that job for probably over 50 years and it would get annoying after a while and I'm not really that good at anything anyway. But it feels nice to know that I'm not the only person who feels like that. Because everyone else I know has their whole future planned and know exactly what they're going to do with it. It's kinda stressful and super awful and I wish that I could just figure it out

So you're not into anything at all?
What are things that you like? For example, dogs, plants, science, medicine, cats, animals in general, people, any sport, the ocean, fashion, drawing, instruments, different languages, spiders, culture, politics, etc.
If you're the type of person to get bored easily then maybe go for an associates degree in whatever or go to a trade/vocational school, then a few years after you've paid that off and gotten bored of it, go for something else? That all depends on family support, financial status and such too though.
Is there anything you are mildly interested in that doesn't require college/university but you don't consider doing it because your parents are gonna force you to go to college anyway/or because they're against it?

I am also 22, back in Chicago after a short lived nomad life style. I had the idea at 17 to graduate high school early and say **** the world. I saved every penny i could, working any job that would pay. Packed my stuff and headed to O'hare 2 days after my graduation. I was off to New York, who would have thought? No one, i left without saying a word. Not because i hate my family or friends, but because why the **** not? All the talk of College and growing up and making choices and finding a career...bla de bla bla. It was overwhelming. ****, it still is. It's been about 5 years since my impulse to get up and go, not all of it has been bad, but in all honesty I'm in the same ******* spot i was. Thinking or dreaming that everything would fall into place once i was where i wanted to be. It just doesn't make sense. I like to think I'm above average in intelligence, defiantly above average in street smart. Why do i need some piece of over paid paper saying I'm capable of the task at hand. I feel as though i can do anything i put my mind to, but the only thing i really struggle with is a class room. i can't just sit there listening to some over paid person who couldn't find there calling, so they teach. Telling me what i need to know and what i don't need to know. Filling my mind with pointless ****. I've been a server/bartender all these years, i've ever managed a few joints. Anything to do with people i can handle. My communication skills are all there, but still i need a major? Someone went to College to learn communication skills? Is that really someone you want working for you? This wasn't something that person was born with, it was taught? how are you taught to talk to people...since i was 2 i've been forming some sort of sentence, doesn't mean it made sense, but I've been speaking to other humans for roughly 20 years. I think thats enough communication for anyone, but still go to school, get in debt, study hard, and good things will come. I think this system is full of ****. So go to school and look left, now right. You see all these people next to you competing for the same type of job that you want, and on top of that there are 15,000 students in your school for the same major. How many schools are in the Country? how many kids go out to spend there parents money only to come out of college with a drinking/drug problem and no job in sight because of how many other kids went off and did the same damn thing. I'll wrap up my rant now. I've been in the same spot for 5 years, lived in New York, California, and Chicago i can't see my future nor do i know what i want in life or have half a sense about what i want to do. If theres anyone with a clue on how to get a hold of life please let me know, it would really pick up a sad nomad from Chicago.

How are you now?

Omg it's like you are me but older than me I'd you figured something out reply to my message because I'm in the same boat

mines kind of different, I'm from Kenya (Africa) , and I'm in my 4th Year in United States International University-Africa, my major is International relations and frankly I feel like I've wasted 4 years of my life together with my parents funding.
I'm in my fourth year but because of my previous failures I still a year of school after my intended graduation. I'm confused because after constant trying I don't seem to be excelling in my major, my grades show good performance in other modules I've undertaken and low-average performance in courses to do with IR.
I don't know what my biggest challenge is despite the lack of motivation. I question myself each day wondering if I'm just not putting in enough into this.
I live in a country where education is the only tool to get you out of poverty and little diversity of occupation. my passion which is interior design is only offered in 2 universities as a degree and other colleges as a certificate. I'd love to pursue it but I fear failure and making a mistake.

"I NEED to know that my life is going to be better when I get through all this. I NEED to have a dream and I just don't."

I feel the exact same way. I'm 18, still pretty young, but have now dropped out of 2 different colleges in two years from studying completely different things. They didn't spark my interests, so I just couldn't be bothered and eventually gave up. The problem I face now is that I can't choose anything without thinking "I'm probably going to quit that too" So I feel I HAVE to choose something that I KNOW I will like...otherwise it's just going to be the same. I don't think anyone will be able to physically help me either, I feel it's something that comes from within, rather than just another perspective. The way I cope is that I just hope that something will just come up. Surely something will eventually fall into my lap...just wait and see I guess.

I know that feeling , I am also 18 and I just cant choose something to do for the rest of my life.
it WILL work out eventually , but I hate waiting for my life to begin , it feels like my life is put on hold while everyone else is moving forward.
Its a crappy feeling and my parents isn't making it better.
good luck .
its good to know I am not the only one.

Just like many of you, I too feel like I'm Alice in Wonderland, tumbling down the rabbit hole. I'm 27 at writing this and I have not one hint at what I want to do in life. The one thing I've noticed about all of us on this page is. That we think about what we want. Too much? Maybe. In my experience over thinking a situation can/ will make it 90% worse than it is. We put up these mental walls in front of our goals and dreams telling ourselves " I can't do that" "I'm not smart enough" "Maybe tomorrow"

What I'm trying to get at is, don't over complicate life. Live in the present because let's face it, who doesn't like presents? Life has a funny way of getting us all to where we need to be.

If you're going to take anything from this site make it
"You are not alone in your thoughts" :-)

Hang in there people

I'm 20 years old and still workin at a fast food restaurant. I graduated high school in 2013 and after highschool I made the mistake of going to cosmetology school and I ended up dropping out bc I didn't like it. So I kind of went through something similar to you. I still don't know what to major in. And people tell me all the time and it gets so frustrating I don't know how I still have hairs in my head cause I stress this everyday so you're not alone.

I am also 22 and I have no idea what I want in life anymore. I'm in school right now for Music Performance, but my grades are starting to slip because not only do I study full time, but I also work full time and pay my way through college. My weekends are completely booked with work and I don't have time to seriously focus on anything, I'm just putting one foot in front of the other. You seriously are not alone, these feelings of not feeling accomplished and worried about my future have gotten to me for the past several weeks, I am tired of being broke with money and time. I hope you find your peace and do something that will complete you.

I can say I understand how you feel - or more accurately, you understand how I feel....

I am 21 years old and attending college and am half way through my degree (almost). I will have to agree that getting some sort of degree will be beneficial. In order to find a purpose for academics, you should focus on a skill. I chose networking with computers because computers will be relevant in the oncoming age. Think of it as training your self for a more stable position so you CAN find out what you want to do.

Later on, I may choose to get a degree in humanities because I like knowing how people act and why they act that way. Not on an individual basis, but more so on a wide spread genetic level. It may seem odd having two opposing degrees (computer networking/ human cultures) but if that is what it take to get a goal then Hey!

I have absolutely no goals in life, and when people learn of this they call me dull and look down on me with disdain. In reality, I just want to coast through life and enjoy the view. Many people mistake this as a lack of passion, but it quite the opposite.

I regularly massively misrepresent myself when explaining my true feelings. This causes people to make mistakes about my character and what I want or represent. This causes distrust among my peers even though no damage was actually made.

I know how that depression of aimlessness feels. I am 21, live with my mom, and have yet to actually be in a relationship. My best friend from childhood is happily married, with two daughters, in his own house. I usually see them on a weekly basis. He also happens to be getting better grades than me and absolutely loves the field he is in.

The only way through life from my view is enduring to the end. Do know that you are early in life. Do not assume you will be struck by lightening. Just imagine that you will live until you are 140 for some messed reason and prepare for that.

There was a movie once about an old man that is retelling his life story. The journalist interviewing him begins getting multiple stories that do not seem coherent. None of his life stories are similar. In the end he responds by saying that it does not matter what choice he made because they all led down the right path no matter how dark or how glorious it was.

Im just sitting here reading everyones comments and im amazed that im not alone
Im 18 years old and just like all of you i have no idea what im doing with my life i have no ambition no goals its like i have no purpose to be here on this planet ive had suicidal thoughts and believe me when i say that if it wasnt for certain people in my life i wouldnt be here. writing this i cant get a job cus its like im scared of the world i have trouble talking to people i cant drive so that makes things even worse and on top of it all i have a mom that cant wait till im out of the house she kicks me out every chance she gets tells me how much she hates me every time shes mad i wont lie things are bad for me but il tell you what theres one thing that keeps me going and thats the big man up stares. He had love for me when i didnt have love for myself and i didnt think anyone would ever love me and even tho things are bad now i know thing can only get better i know what your thinking ohh this dude is just another religious nut job And maybe thats case but belive me when i say your not alone even when you think are and everything in your life is going down hill your not alone jesus new your name and died for your sins even before you were born thats love the only love that will carry you trew out your life if only you would let it so i encourage to grab a bible ask the lord for forgiveness and let him in too your heart he'll show the path You have no idea the incredibl joy and that my father can give y'all. Remeber your not alone god bless each and every one you

I never knew other people had my problem too.
I started college 5 months ago, and honestly I've never felt this lost and depressed in my life this badly before. I am an undecided major, and I have no type of direction for my life.
People would ask me what type of career I would want, I don't know what I want. People would ask me what I like to do, I don't know what I like. I don't know what I see myself doing 15 years from now. I have no motivation or ambition. I feel like I'm really only going to college because I am told too, not for myself. My anxiety worsens when I hear friends talk about their future, seeing how they know what they want to do with their life kills me. It is easier to get good grades when you have a goal in mind, but I don't. I just do the bare minimum to pass. But lately I haven't even been doing that. I really do not want to let down my mom and fail, but is that the only reason why I keep moving forward. My depression has worsened, and I constantly have thoughts of suicide. I want to talk to someone but I am very paranoid. I have trouble even reaching out to the campus counselors and I do not want to talk to my mom about this. Irony of this all is, if you see me normally, I am an extremely social person, I talk to a lot of people. When I'm alone (which is a lot) however, all the thoughts return and sometimes I just lay in bed and cry. you'd never guess that I have been depressed for the past 3 years of my life. I feel like an empty shell just going through the motions of the day because I am told. Not knowing what I want to do. Even my best friends which I constantly text don't know what I am going through. This emptiness kills me inside, I just want to disappear. Did I just rant a bit too much?
I feel truly alone in this ordeal, I know I am isolating myself but I can't help it. In the end I am just afraid. Afraid that I am just wasting my time, afraid of my future.

I love reading everyone's posts because although it feels like I'm all alone, I know I am not. I'm 18 years old and I don't think I have ever been so lost in my entire life. It feels good to finally write that out. It's weird because up until a few months ago, I always had it figured out. I knew where I wanted to go to school and what I wanted to be and ever since I was a little girl, I've a had plan. I don't know any of those things any more and I definitely do not have a plan. I have wanted to cry so much because of how lost I am. Including that, the people who I thought were my friends don't care about me anymore or at least they don't show it. I feel like at this age we are supposed to feel the happiest because we have our whole lives ahead of us. Yet I look around and I see how fun my friends are having and how everyone seems to be on the right track and I'm standing still, looking over the horizon. If people ask me how I am, my answer is I don't know because that's how I truly feel.
Right now I am going to a college in Maine. I'm transferring next semester to a school near my home town in New Hampshire because it just doesn't feel right being here. Have you ever felt that way? Like you just know you don't belong somewhere? Anyways, I'm hoping I am making the right decision and if not I guess I will find out. One thing I have learned is that we always go back to what we need and being home is what I need right now.
I don't know what you've been through but I'd like to believe that for you and me, everything will work out. I mean, maybe we have to go through all of this struggling and confusion to get to where we are meant to be. I bet you have probably heard that millions of times, so I'm sorry if you have to read it once more.
I hope you find you're way. I hope I find mine too.

- Sky

I'm 22 also and you're not alone. My family didn't have many that graduated from high school or college. So I made that to be my goal along with playing basketball, that was until my senior yr I tore my ACL and pretty much all my bball offers went off the table.Well turned out I did graduate from both and I received my basic welding certification. So I started smoking w***, shortly after that, I got called for an interview from practically the only place that would take in entry level welders. I passed the written part, then I had to do a hands on demonstration which I also passed with flying colors. So I'm signing my paper work & they call me to the back.....long story short I failed the urine test. Not only that I did the same thing again and this time I tried to use some to clear out my system but in result I failed again. I know it was stupid actually very stupid. Which unfortunately I can't do anything with the past. But now I'm back in my hometown currently with no job,no car, and trying to start over. But its sooo hard, everyday after putting in numerous apps, if it ain't me just waking up and wish I just stay asleep for the rest of the day or just wanna cry and just sorry to say just die sometime. Its that bad I feel like can't nobody help me BC I can't even help myself why BC I don't even no where to begin to help let alone tell somebody else. I'm not smart, I don't want to be a doctor or lawyer or teacher or coach. I know its alot of things that people can be or do. But does anybody think its possible to not want to do any of that ! Like where does that leave you standing

You not alone, i am 19 . I don't believe advise would help you, cause it doesn't help me. Im also not that religious but ....god will place you where supposed to be. As long as you know what you DONT want to do. He will have you do what your meant to do.......if that makes any sense.

I am currently 16 years old, and from a certain prospective, some might say my young life has just started. Yet, if all this confusion and depression is just the beginning, then I fear for what is yet to come of me.

Right now, I am battling with what I want to be or who I want to become. I do have passions such as; Music, Gaming, Reading & writing. However, none of the courses in College seem to come close to what I am searching for.

And it bothers me.

It bothers me so much that I've already dropped out of one College (I was doing Music Peformance) and is now searching for something else to do. There is so much pressure on choosing something that is meaningful and motivative when I am the least motivated I have ever been.

My parents are telling me to just choose already & to call up my College right now with what I want to do. They make it sound so easy, but they still don't get it.

I've suggested Art. They disagree, saying that I wouldn't truly get somewhere with it. And I am going to be completely honest, I won't. I barely got a C for Art, even if I did like it a little.

I am not clever enough for A-Levels. My parents beg to differ, as they should, but I know what I am capable of. I wouldn't have it in me to choose various topics and still stay interested in each subject, because I know I'll like 1 and hate the rest.

Sigh. I don't know what to do. My parents are pushing me, telling me, scolding me, pressuring me and my mind just rebels. Not that my household is a light topic.

I don't want to go College. I love the idea of expanding my writing on Wattpad, playing video games and singing to the endless Karaoke clips on YouTube. I am so unhappy, and I feel that my broken family are taking away my only happiness. But how do you tell your loved ones that they're doing no good, when their intentions is to only give you guidance and reassurance?

I'm tired of it all. They wouldn't care enough to understand why, but the pain still stands in the unbending truth; I am tired of it all. What 16 year old has to feel this way? Why should I have to use my dog as an excuse to get away from my mum so I can cry outloud without the fear of anyone hearing me? Nobody should. Nobody.

So, I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I'll probably search for a job that pays well enough to move out of this house, so then I won't feel so bloody restricted all the time. I won't have to deal with the feel of my parents breathing down my neck. I can write for endless days, maybe publish if I'm content with my work. Make a YouTube channel for gaming, as unoriginal as that sounds, and connect with people who're just as lost as me.

My mum is only worried about the money she won't get for me if I don't go College. We do need money, but I didn't know that money was much more important than her daughters well-being. Sad, really. The skies right now seem to agree with me. Cold & wet.

I need help. My family needs help. But I feel like just another fleeting whisper within a world so big.


I know how people feel on this one.

Thing is most people in society wont admit these kinds of things in a social capacity.
No-one's going to mention this subject during passing conversation.
In my own opinion, I think most people just walk around PRETENDING they have the answers to everything they want in life and how to get it.

I've gone right from being a privately schooled well off young man to dealing Class A drugs when I was just 17 in all trouble with the police to sorting it all out from nothing. Seeing the world like that, its seeing it through the looking glass. I've had the perspectives of the rich and the poor. The have and the have not's.
The difference between the two is nothing and everything.

I guess if people were just more open and honest about this kind of subject particularly then it wouldn't feel so bad not really knowing.

I think not knowing is half of the fun really.
Who knows where it's all going to end up?

Just have to take the jump and live for each day as it comes.

I'd suggest studying something because you're interested in it and you actually want to learn about it. Your best bet is to think about what you like to do, think about what you could do for the rest of your life and how you can persue that goal. College and university is just a structured rout of getting you to that end-goal. Speaking from experience (i dropped out of university) you really dont want to get to uni and realise that you're not studying what you're interested in. Dont think of college as a chore, and dont think of it as high school, and dont think of it as exams and coursework and exams and coursework. just think of it as a way to learn what you want to learn, and if you dont want to learn what you're studying then you're doing the wrong course.

I turned 18 years old 2 days ago. I thought i knew what i wanted to do with my life from the start, and I got good grades for my G.C.S.E.'s so i could progress onto college to get a Diploma in Vehicle Maintenance, and eventually get a job fixing people's cars in a garage. After passing a level 2 Diploma i started to have my doubts on whether i really wanted to pursue a career in vehicle mechanics, and after my third week of my Level 3 Diploma course I have lost all motivation to carry on, and my passion for cars is gone. I started with high hopes and plenty of motivation but College has killed off all of it. I no longer want to do this, and feel anxious about what to do with my life instead. I almost feel like my life is going to become a depressing cycle of boring hard work and I have no idea what to do to prevent it

I'm in the same boat. I'll turn 20 in a month with absolutely no direction in my life. I did great in high school and could have gone to any college I wanted (within reason) but college just wasn't for me. Spending more money than I've ever seen in my life on something I have no idea I want to do. So I've worked full time since I graduated highscool then went to welding school. I decided welding because I'm good at it and I figured I might as well make ok money in the mean time. I've been working as a welder for almost a year now. 2 months ago I got a new job working 72 hours a week on second shift. And that has me so burnt out and making me think even more what I'm even doing with my life because it's not this. I've gotten really depressed and turned to drugs and that's definitely not the right direction but this whole thing has been eating at my mind for so long. I'm only almost 20, is this past year what the rest of my life will look like? I don't know what to do anymore.

I'm 23 and facing a similar situation. I did started the University but I hate it, I'm studying engineering because my father talked me into that, I didn't really wanted that. Now I'm experiencing the consequences, I don't like it, I don't feel passionate about it, I don't get good grades, I feel a big pressure because of that, I'm feeling depressed and lonely. About a month ago I've started using drugs more frequently almost daily, and I don't know what my future will be, I can't take this anymore.

I know this was from 2008 but this is EXACTLY how I feel. I am also 22. I've tried the whole "well I'll get my basics while I figure it out" ...and nothing. Ugh!

dont believe in this "god", just opinion- there are too many religions, and self prac..ppl- christanity is only a religion of lies..-... btw- there is no "Heaven" it is but nothingness.... re-search what you are interesed in, but dont give in- for christianity- is but a joke, a, money maker- and turned native Americans into demons... 1st christians- or....lets say- real human beings...sry- but this christian word- shall never be capitalized- for their "rape" of humanity- will be remembered, just me, im speaking for all that agree... i grew up christian- tghen wiccan- which rocks!!!- then aethist, now to nothing.... just believe what fits you- **** your judgement, no one on this planet can decide anything for you... plz find what fits you- research it, and stick with it... after all you cant be judged unless you have a description... ppl want to play god, but like us=- will never happen- do as told, have failth in whatever religion you choose, and **** THE REST. Earth wasnt born for religion, just cant be blind to the reast, pick yourreligion/ or say "none" what u choose- will be other ppl outlook on "you" no matter- like i said b4, **** em- religion or not, do what works for "YOU", in the best way you have "ever" had!!!!!!!

Pick yours friend!!! tough road, but **** 'em

which is why there" liars" are the only ones to pass a $ tray around...- who does that??? JUST A STUPID BUSINESS, how its been for a loooooooooooong time...think about it guy... stories over time? to make a book of city rules? c'fn on, ....BS" ok- just gonna say one thing- ok- 2, lol, sry-this "devil" is only for in that Christian bs, karma is def real- but located in " 1 religion" nor is "satan" only in the past 100 or 2 yrs- did this how come into play- just so ppl will put $ into the "HEAVEN" tray,like other religions... if ur good- u go to good place,...How bout i say this too- iv been a **** most of my life.... - when i wasnt- i was Wiccan.... awesome exp too man, I love them ;) satanic- i have had several friends.... but
they didn't believe in god...kinda weird, but- they ROCKED!! good mix of ppl, Regardless-i had more in more than i wanted to say-W/E
.... I am strong againt stupid liars, ppl- can create ****, but when **** hits the fan- who u gonna pray to? or just prove it, cause i can thru wicca- but DARK- still peaceful tho are some sides of voodoo- dont JUDGE til u can tell me otherwise.....sry guy- im goin off on my own rant....look- ppl can help you choose, but only you can be your own "batman" god, is weird tho, but you are the only one who can make it comfortable need to respect other people's religions....whether you believe in them or not so be it. Just stop hating.

And I believe God WILL help this person. There has to be something beyond just Earth; sorry but you have to be blind to think we just appear as a fetus, age, and then wither into dirt. Everything/everyone has a purpose, and I hope zozozo22 finds his.

Just an opinion. I grew up as a Roman Catholic. I attended Catholic Schools, St. James and St. Paul. So you can imagine my life. All the tradition you would ever imagine, I have done that. The long procession every Holy week, Sunday Masses. I am always present. Novena Mass, check. Our family is like that. Those times, I believed God was guiding me. I prayed through hard times, whenever I feel wrong. God was always the answer.

But I was too intelligent or at least I pretended I am. I questioned and rationalized. I stemmed away from our practices and lived according to my terms. I just said what you just posted: no one can really tell you what to do. So I quit my sundays and moved further away. But that's when I lost my direction. Maybe the reason why I fell on this page.

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You guys have no idea. Im 18 and feel the same with just about all of you. I tell myself I have goals and with my friends and family I tell them what it is. And when I say them. I like the idea. But then I get depressed. I know deep down what I said I want for a career. I don't! I don't find it achieving or motivational. I found this and it made me happy knowing others like me are out there :D so thank you all

where u live, answer will give an opinion- from a christian....lmao...but true...

I know the exact feeling. I've been searching the internet for a similar emotion scheme as me and this is as close as I have come. I'm currently 17 years of age and from/living in the UK. to cut the crap, in the UK, we have to decide our future at 16, not 18. I decided to avoid a-levels and go to a college that does just btec courses because its renowned for getting you apprenticeship opportunities (my initial goal). I've finished the first year of the course flawlessly with a Distinction* overall (A* equivalent). but I've gained no fulfilment what so ever, the best desc<x>ription of my self, is... empty. i have interests such as gaming and music but when i try to apply them to a work related scenario i don't see myself enjoying any of them. If i knew a possible career path, i would then have the confidence to (maybe) drop out of my 4 year long btec course to persure my dream within a-levels, which also ultimately opens up a series of options, but ultimately, like yourself, i find it very hard to proceed without complete omniscience within my future. to put it bluntly, I don't have the balls to pack up and leave my unfinished soul-sucking course without ultimate closure.

Man I'm 25 and don't know what I want to do with my life I have no gf the girls out here are just not good at all they are like weired gangster type girls HUGE (turn off) !! I keep trying to think and once I think I might be interested in something I do a little research and find something wrong! What's wrong with me aghhhh! Right now I've been considering becoming a sheriff but I don't know I was reading a lot of bad stuff about how corrupt and expressing it van be. To go to a call for a auto accident and everyone in the var is dead men women children ect .. Or to a house where someone committed suicide I'm not Sir I would like it at all maybe have me feeling worse. But the only thing I was interested in doing any of that is they are always going to need police, sheriffs,staters.. Its a job that will more than likely be there all the time, and I want to at least live comfortable where ever I am. I also want to travel see more than the city I qm in which is Albuquerque New Mexico. Where I grew up I see a lot of people struggling my parents did alright have a nice house always stocked up on food like crazy nice vehicles have flat screen TVs in every room connected to Comcast, high speed internet, and always have extra money for spending on what ever. They are not rich or poor but live comfortable. That's how I want to be have some sort of security where you have your house your car and know your bills will get paid every month. I have uncles,aunties, friends that are struggling to her by bareley able to pay their bills every month and never have extra money to do anything! I'm scared sh*tless that I'm going to end up like that! I want to see the world or at least travel all over the united states and see and meet new people. I'm stuck and it feels like I'm meant to not do anything because that's how a lot of people where I am from are like and after you see people like that your whole life it starts to be automatic wiering in you. But I always felt different from everyone else I refuse to believe that my life is not going any where I am SCARED S*ITLESS but it better to end up being a failure and knowing you at lest tried then to just except it and always say when I was younger I wonder if my life would of been like if I did this diffrent . even if I do end up like most people I dread turning into DAMN well god has a plan for everyone and if that was his plan for me all along who am I to second think him. Things happened for a reason but I've learned you cannot always just sit around and expect things to workout them selfs or come to you. You have to put in some of the effort but think of it like this 15-20 years from now you could either be in the same spot and mind set or just say **** it and try to take a chance and change something in your life and just try to change the way we think. I'm the type of person that would say I don't give a **** I'll get by one way or another but really right now is the time I have to man up and start doing something or I am going to end up like the people I gear like being the most, at least doing something I have a better chance of being successful than with what I'm currently doing. Everyone of my friends I grew up with and cousin all have girl friends wife's kids and feel like I'm the only one not moving forward, but god as my whitness I'm going at it 100mph now I'm going to do everything I possibly can to be proud of my life when I look back in 15-20 years and I also when my parents die for them not to worry for me for them to know I'm alrite and for them to be proud when they pass. I want to be one of those people we always hear saying I came from here if I can do it so can you! I always said bulls*it every time I heard that but when you get a certain age and start really thinking of your life seriously you have a different mind set start getting anxiety about stuff but I'm going to try to do some stuff different and hopefully won't be in the same spot reading this post I put years from now feeling like a dumbass. Everyone wish me luck!! Good luck and god bless everyone else be safe

Omg lol Albuquerque isn't only full of gangster girls lolol! You're probably in the wrong part of town :P . I hate not knowing. It's funny, I found a quote on tumblr (sry don't remember who even said it but) "nothing will ruin your 20's more than thinking you should have your life together already"

I wish I was just 22 and felt your way. Instead, I'm 39 with the same issues - minus the wife, kids and degrees. I made the mistake of listening to other people when I was younger and ended up going to business school. I received a bachelor's degree in Marketing and a master's degree in Management. You would think that after all that time, and student loan debt, that I would be a vice-president of some small to mid-size company by now. That didn't happen. The furthest I got with my business degrees was store manager for a retail pharmacy. I had no personal life, because I was working all the time, and my kids hardly knew me for lack of being there for them. <br />
I have since re-invented myself twice. I started with the idea that maybe I should become a teacher. This would give me the weekends off, plus the summers, and definitely give me more time with my family. I ended up becoming a teacher, and was one for 4 years. I realized during this time that I wasn't cut out for mentoring hundreds, if not thousands of kids.<br />
I ruptured a disc in my back a few years ago and had to have surgery. While I was recovery from surgery, I had an epiphany, if you will, to go back to school and get yet another degree. My degree major this time was in Management Information Systems. I always had some sort of interest working with computers/technology over the years, so I thought this made the most sense. I have since graduated with my third degree and tacked on another thirty thousand dollars in debt. I do have a technology related job, but it is one that will never have opportunities for advancement. I'm tossing around the idea of acquiring a certification from Cisco. Adding this to the certifications I already have would hopefully make me more marketable to potential employers, but anyone familiar with this company knows that this isn't a certification that you can obtain overnight. The test you have to take to get certified are not cheap either.<br />
I am constantly looking back on my life, up to this point, and wonder what exactly have I accomplished with it. Don't get me wrong, I am truly blessed for the things I have in my life, and thank the good Lord for these blessings - from an individualistic standpoint though I just feel I have missed out on the reason why I'm here and what I'm supposed to be.<br />
I try to keep myself busy, to take my mind off the empty feelings I have, but unfortunately they keep resurfacing for one reason or another. <br />
What I have to keep telling myself is, is that life is more than having an awesome job. It's not about trying to keep up with the Jones family, and it's not about how many friends you have. It's about being comfortable in your own skin. Whether that is accomplished through involving yourself with a church group or maintaining a healthy regimen of medication - keep after that goal and one day it will come.

"Modo Fac" (just do it). The one thing I remember from high school Latin. No matter what- I just keep going. I have my break downs---sometimes change is the consequence and sometimes not. But either way as long as I am doing something I am learning. I am learning what works for me and what does not. I have been the person alone not doing anything but wallowing in my own self pity/anxiety/depression/isolation. But i learned nothing in that space.
Allow urself to be open--- open to everything-weigh your options- and then if u notice u are saying no to everything- then say yes to the next- set reasonable goals. One day at a time.

It is your life. You get to live it however u wish. U will more than likely fail and be denied a lot. Yay! Guidence comes in strange ways- I hardly ever understand. Nor do I hardly know that what I am doing is what I want to do. But as one thing ends- another begins. But life is in ur hands and u have to begin something. Rather it's carrying that old lady's bags to her car or applying for school or a job u don't think ur qualified for.
I did what people said. I went college took on a load- did my best. Volunteered. Worked. Became apart of organizations. But during that time i was miserable. I was loaded on pills and had no interest in a direction. But then someone suggested I ride with them to where they used to work. For some odd reason I said yes. I left with a summer job and never been the same.
Whatever u do- u are apart of this society. And as much as some of us disagree with it- we got create the change from within it.

To start: spend a ridiculously long night staring at the stars.
Jump from a semi-safe cliff into a deep body of water.

Tell urself everyday u are beautiful and so is this world.

Wake up: walk out side and say yes.
Before bed: walk outside and say thank you.

Talk to random people. They feel as awkward as u.

Now, I take baby steps. Nothing is forever. I don't overload myself but I add a reasonable thing one at a time. I learn to manage that one thing and then go from there. I don't allow myself to sit down and chill until the day is done. And I may not know what I want to do as a job. But I've learned who I want to be as an individual. And that is priceless.
Thanks to all the people and places in this world.

I feel the same way due to a number of things.. I graduated high school wanting to be a cosmetologist. Worst idea ever 22 grand for getting terrible education on something that I'm never going to use in life.. I finished school and moved In with my boyfriend at the time he had four kids and I found out he was married he cheated always threatened me all I cared about was being with him i felt no one else cared about me so I needed him i was so lost in trying to keep someone who could care less about me I ended up wasting all this time and now I'm just realizing what's next ? Where do I go from here? I don't have a good job and I don't even know how to drive I have no friends and I have no clue what to go to school for if I decided to try and I feel I have no one to talk to I have no friends and I feel I have nothing to look forward to in life I don't see why I was put here I haven't accomplished anything and I don't know who to go to I feel so lonely and I feel like a failure others insist on me doing a medical program or going to school for something they want and I want something I like but I have no talents and feel like I wouldn't even be able to make in through college and get a degree even if I knew what I wanted to do I've wasted 4 years away and barely realized I haven't done sh*t with my life I feel like a loser and just won't ever amount to anything I feel like there's nothing left for me I feel I need to speak to someone but I don't know who

Hello. You can speak to me :) Speak it all out. It's Okay if you don't want to provide any personal information. Just speak it out. You'll feel a lot better.

Hi, I know maybe i am too late to reply you but just came to your post via google (i literally typed exact same sentence as yours in a search bar and it let me to this thread). I am currently 20 almost sucidal..why? well no not because of bf or any silly **** (trust me, I am way more mature than my age) its just that I DONT KNOW WHAT I WANT IN LIFE ANYMORE. i remember i used to laugh used to dream used to work hard, good grades and all but i just dont see a point of all this NOW. My elder brother is in his early 30s successful and all..he targets me all the time saying you are so dumb how can you be that stupid you will never do anything with your life.

WOW... i feel Exactly the same... but i keep getting told to do a two year medical program. but... i cant see me being happy at All by doing something i dont enjoy for the rest of my life... and m family just doesnt understand that. They see it as a fast track job and secure and good money. :/ i dont know what to do...

You don't have to know what you are to become. Just start with the purpose of determining what you are not. Once you know all the things you no longer agree to do, you will discover what you want to once you find your joy. It doesnt find you. You have to be commited toturning off the limited beliefs and turning on possibility. Start by the right attitude and let the rest evolve until you collect more knowledge of yourself. Good luck!!!

Well I'm 20 years old and I don't know ow what to do with my life, I tried college and failed because I was pushed into it, I don't know much about tools, cars, or anything a normal man should. I feel like such a failure to myself and my parents. All I have right now is a job at a bakery with minimum wage, I don't have any direction and it makes me feel useless and depressed.

I can say I am in the same boat. Although I am about to be 30 this year. I still have no main goal. I also felt the same way about getting a degree in healthcare administration, and while I did start I am second guessing my decision. It is not that I don't follow things all the way though. I just lose interest very quickly. I just am not sure what I am really interested in. I don't know what my passion in...

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I'm 17 years old and a senior in high school and am currently so depressed about life. My family is so pushy when it comes to college and are so frustrated with me when I change my major every week or say I don't know what I want to major in. Honestly I don't want to go to college at all. I see no need for me to go cause I already know as soon as I get there I will hate what I have gotten myself into. I only like things temporarly so a big life decision like this is stressing me a lot. I already know who I want to marry and that I want to have kids and just be a stay at home mom but I know my family will pesterize me for the rest of my life

Maybe you don't want to live somebody's else idea of your life. It is yours. What ppl think of you is none of your buisiness its thiers. You are accountable to only one. You don't owe anyone anything. But you are here today in the present, making you the gift. You have to know that first do not let fear of the unknown or expectations keep you trapped. You limit your choices by not seeing you can be and do anything. When you don't see choices you panic. Your vision becomes more narrow. Feelings of being stuck are an illusion you create to do nothing.doing nothing is easy . You are going into college prepared to do nothing. Is the essence of who you are? Are you a nothing? I think not. Go into college determined to find that essence. Just know it will be hard. You will screw up. If you dont let yourself quit you will win. Struggles gives you the endurance needed to live fully alive. Dont ever pass on an oppurtunity to struggle. Its the only way you learn what you're made of.

I'm nearly 21 now and every single day of my life I wish desperately that I could go back to high school. Not because I had a great time and miss it, in fact, I hated high school so much I nearly didn't graduate and my gpa dropped to a 1.0 my senior year because I gave up entirely. The colleges I who accepted me ended up revoking my acceptance for not completing certain classes and up holding their standards. I said I didn't care if i went to a community college. Biggest mistake of my life. I'm floundering and have no direction and very unhappy. My grades are failing and i have now ruined my chances of succeeding (at least in a timely manor) in higher education and obtaining a job that I will enjoy and be successful enough in. Finish high school with decent grades and go to a four year institution, when you get there you will understand that things are different.

Im in the exact same boat as you im 22 and i live in a lame small tx town getting harassed by ******* cops everyday i am a talented musician and at least halfway smart but life is too much so i do h and it all feels better lol my life is probably worse than yours feel better

Hello,Im only 16 years old but I feel so depressed. From about 6 months or so, I want to die because I've nothing accomplished in life. I feel like im locked in a cage when Im being in my city and living my life at all, there are not alot of people that understand me and I cant find alot of real friendships,only some people to chill so I dont feel alone at all. Im not a bad student , I play the piano from 6 years ( but nothing that professional ,taking it more like a hobby ) , going to gym and doing all the stuff to make myself feel perfect. Most of the time Im playing computer games and being in the online community. Im preparing myself for life like learning to cook ( because I really enjoy it ) , reading and stuff. I've totally found my soulmate ( my girlfriend ). We're totally the same and we love each other but we're from different cities, so we cant meet eachother alot. The people in my city ,my age ofcourse, are mostly retards. They're totally the kind of people I dont even want to hangout so I feel lonely. I really feel the true happiness when Im travelling but Im not allowed to do it alot ,because Im still young and dont have any money to do it on my own. I have no idea what I want to do with my life, Im one of the "dreamers". I want the perfect life like in movies and im doing everything but it seems like not working for me. I dont know what I wanna do with my life at all and Im pretty confused. I had a bad childhood and that made me the sad person I am. I want to wake up and just live but things are not so easy. I feel like the school is the only life I have, when I have a vacation I feel like I dont have anything. Im only waking up at mid-day because I couldnt sleep at the night, staying on the computer , going out for about 1 hour or so and doing all the stuff I have to do. And that just keep repeating and it makes me sad. My biggest problem is the overthinking and probably the lacking of communication with people I'd like to talk with. I've tried drugs , ciggarretes , alchohol and going to parties but that's just not the life I want to live.

It sounds like you have gone thought a lot in your 16 years of life. I also tend to overthink a lot and get stress out very easily when I do not know what to do. First, I think you are way too young to think you have not accomplished anything in life. You just starting to live. I am only going to be 22 and still feel pretty young, I graduated from college last year, I am a psychologist and currently work as a counselor. My parents are putting pressure on me to go back to school to do my master, but I have no idea what I want to study and that makes me feel really bad. Anyways... going back to your case, since you tried drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, parties, and I am super glad that's not the life you want to live, then I have another choice for you and I am 100% sure this one is not going to leave you empty. Here goes... try having a close relationship with God ! yes I became christian (not catholic) two years ago and since then my life have changed a lot. Would never regret it. Also, my boyfriend used to be depressed a lot, and since he started going to church with me, reading the bible and of course living the word, his life is so different that I am even amazed by seeing him. You are not alone, there is a God who knows you more than anyone, more than you parents or your girlfriend, and the best part is that He is willing to help you. Just try.. what you have to lose?

I am 28 years old, from Boston, mother of two boys, I've been with their dad since I was 15. We both come from pretty messed up homes and that's pretty much what drew us together. Trust me when I tell you I've been through it all. My parents divorced when I was 7 due to my fathers heroin addiction and drug induced stupidity, for example, placing a loaded gun in my hand at the age of 7 and making me point it at my mother while he giggled like a kid on Christmas watching her scream and run for her life, or even putting me behind the wheel of a car, also at the age of 7, and telling me its time I learn to drive, and I did, and the list goes on, I think the endless affairs was the least of my mothers worries compared to everything else. My mother struggled as a single mother to two girls but she made it, well financially she made it, emotionally, not so much. We didn't have the greatest relationship, actually it kind of sucked, and still kind of sucks, but she's not entirely to blame for that, she dealt with much worse, but that's her story to tell.

I was diagnosed with clinical depression, ADD, BPD (borderline personality disorder), OCD, severe anxiety, and ODD at the age of 13, all diagnoses have been confirmed by many specialists over the years. Needless to say I was a pretty messed up kid. After the divorce we moved to a new town where I was severely bullied for years, to the point I made several suicide attempts, looking back now though, I think they were more of an outcry for help than an actual attempt to end my life, I just felt stuck, and at such a young age I couldn't comprehend what I was feeling, let alone express it to another person. I started drinking at the age of 12 and smoking weed at 13, luckily for me, other than a one time experience with ecstacy at the age of 15, I never got into heavy drugs. I was constantly sneaking out and getting in trouble, getting into fights at school and getting suspended, which I didn't care about at the time because I rarely went to school back then anyway. I was failing every subject, my school at the time didn't care about my ADHD or any problems I had learning and offered no help, so I felt there was no point.

After being expelled, my mother sent me to live with my father for about a year hoping he and my step mother could straighten me out, I couldn't take living with my father anymore so I went back home. Eventually, my mother came to the conclusion that moving back to our home city would fix the problem, it didn't. I kept partying, kept drinking, kept being picked up by the police. When I was 15 I met my husband, same kind of background, worse believe it or not, and we were instantly inseparable. He had been previously diagnosed with most of the same conditions I suffer from, minus the BPD and replace it with Bipolar. He was 17 when we started dating and was just getting out of foster care, his mother wanted nothing to do with him so my mother took him in. That was a horrible idea, we were constantly getting in trouble.

My mother kicked us both out after having the police show up at the house at 2am tearing the house apart looking for us, of course we weren't there, we expected it. So she kicked us out, 15 and 17 years old, with nowhere to go. At first we'd go from friend to friend crashing on couches until we ran out of friends. We ended up meeting a group of people who set up camp under a bridge in downtown boston, they had room for us so that was our home for about 4 months. I'll never forget waking up shivering and numb under a pile of snow, it started snowing in the middle of the night while we were sleeping. After a while we learned a few hustles to make enough money to eat, and no I never went down "that" route. But I learned how to shut my emotions off and become cold, so I could bring myself to steal from hard working people and not feel guilty about it. Before we resorted to hustling and stealing, we did try to go to shelters and get help, but it was so backwards, no shelter would take me in because I was under 18. There were churches that served lunch and dinner and we could go there on certain nights, and there are vans that drive around downtown handing out blankets and hot chocolate and sandwiches, etc to the homeless. But it wasn't enough, I needed the comfort of a bed, a real shower, not one in a battered women shelter where I had to wear shower shoes and listen to ten angry women bang on the door yelling at me to hurry up. I managed to call my mom every day from a pay phone to let her know I was alive and to apologize and ask to come home, the answer was always no. I did manage to get one night at home, when I was picked up for pan handling, the police told my mom if she didn't come get me they'd call DSS, they were still called DSS back then, so she came to get me, I had a nice hot shower a hot meal and a night in my own bed, I would have cried happy tears that night if I hadn't been so exhausted and passed out the second my head hit the pillow, but the very next morning I had to be out.

We were on the streets for about a year until eventually our "hustles" caught up with us and my boyfriend was arrested. I tried staying out there on my own, I was now 16 and scared and now alone. I sucked it up and called my boyfriends mother, her husband convinced her to take me in. She lived about an hour away, she came to pick me up the next day and I stayed with her and got a job and saved enough money to get an apartment, my boyfriend got out of jail after a few months and we moved into our own place. We were both working and everything was going great, I was only 17 but I felt like I had it all together, we had our own apartment, no more cold nights outside, we both had jobs, so no more hustles, life was great. Now remember that list of conditions we were both dealing with, well neither of us were being treated, and slowly but surely things started falling apart. I got pregnant, with my oldest son who's now 10, I lost my job and the depression started taking its toll. My boyfriends mind was all over the place, we were constantly fighting, and things got really ugly. He ended up losing his job after going off on his boss, then the anxiety started, he had a pregnant girlfriend at home and now no income and we were about to lose everything we just worked so hard for, and then came the "hustles", which he eventually got arrested for, which left me alone and pregnant and EVICTED. This time my mother let me come home, and also my boyfriend when he was to be released from jail, on the condition that we both go to counseling and get proper treatment, and we did. From that point on things have been fairly good, well no more trouble or hustles or jail. We stayed with my mom for much longer this time, until we knew we could make it. We now have two boys, my 10 year old who I mentioned earlier, and my 4 year old, the loves of my life and my greatest achievements, and we have a nice home. That life is far behind me, but not too far that I can't remember exactly what got me there and what got me out. I'm now 28 and my husband is 30, we've come along way, but I still feel lost.

I can't figure out what I want to do with my life, I feel like I don't have a passion for anything and nothing is motivating me. I went to school for medical office when I was 21, I realized I absolutely hated it, then I went to school for human services and dropped out after the first semester. In 2008 I got my certificate for dental assisting, I worked at a pediatric dental office for a little over a year, I wasn't too into dental assisting but I was good at it and I loved where I worked, the girls I worked with were awesome, and I had the best boss anyone could ask for, but when my sisters husband, (my oldest sons godfather) was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer I was taking off a lot of time to help her out with my niece and nephew and around the house, eventually I realized I just wasn't going to be able to work so I quit, my brother in law, sadly, passed away a year later.

Since then I've worked some minimum wage jobs and just wasn't happy. My husband tries to help me figure out what I want to do but I can't think of anything. I'm extremely depressed, I just know that I want to do SOMETHING. I feel like there's something I'm meant to do and I just can't figure out what that is. The only thing I can think of, aside from family of course, that I've ever had any kind of passion for is helping people. I don't know if it's because of what I went through, but I do enjoy volunteering at shelters and soup kitchens, and I'm always trying to teach my kids to give back, we don't have a lot of money but we get by and we're better off than we've ever been, I want my kids to know that just because you don't have a lot doesn't mean you don't have enough to give to someone with less. I've had people turn to me for help because I know my way around this community and have access to many resources, my oldest son has ADHD and anxiety and is on an IEP and my youngest son has autism, so I've reached out and learned a lot and can pass this information on to others. I made a facebook page for parents of kids with learning disabilities, it was mostly for me to reach out to other moms when my son was first diagnosed, because at the time I didn't know any other moms who had experienced what I was going through, I ended up reaching a lot more people than I had anticipated and I am very happy with it. Not only did I find moms who gave me great advice, but I found that I was able to help them just as much, and I truly love that feeling. I love working with kids, and I love helping people find their way, which is very ironic considering I feel so lost myself. My husband and I sometimes talk about "what if we hit the lottery and won millions", we both have the same idea but don't know exactly how it would work, we'd want to have a program to help people get to where they need to be in life, whether it's an addict in need of help, or a troubled teen in need of a home, or someone who just lost their way. I know there's programs out there similar to this, but in my experience, none of them really cut it. Obviously I can't plan my future around winning the lottery, I need a realistic plan and I just can't seem to come up with one. I've thought about working with DCF, I know their system is highly flawed and I would love to make a difference, but the problem with that is I'm extremely emotional, and the first time I couldn't help someone I would feel like a failure, like I let someone down and I wouldn't be able to live with that. Same reason I don't think I would cut it as a substance abuse counselor, which was my plan for awhile. I see my father in every addict I meet, and as flawed as my father is, he's the only father I have and I love him and I want him to be happy and free of the demons that still haunt him today.

I keep thinking that I'm getting older, I'm running out of time, my kids are getting older, how am I supposed to give them direction when I can't direct myself. Luckily, by some miracle, I've managed not to screw them up so far, they're some pretty amazing kids, though I may be a bit biased lol.

I need a plan, a realistic one for me, what's realistic for some may not be realistic for others. I also don't have much of an education as I'm sure some of you can tell by reading this, please excuse any grammatical errors. I am intelligent I can tell you that much, as in I have the ability to learn and apply the knowledge I've acquired, the problem is that I didn't have access to the same information, or education as others. A lot of people think that because they're packed full with useless information that they're smarter than others, no it just means you can remember stuff, congratulations.
I believe education is way too important to be as expensive and as hard to obtain as it is, that will never make sense to me, but let me not get into that now because I'd be here all night.
I don't expect someone to read this and come up with some miracle answer to all my problems, but for those of you in the same boat, I promise you're not alone.

You should be a counsellor. A lot of programs take a year or so. Or a guidance counsellor at a high school for example. I can't even believe your story by the way. It's not your fault.

Thank you, I have actually considered counseling but wasn't sure if I'd be of any help, but it won't hurt to explore that option again, thanks :)

I agree, try counciling, im 26 stuck, with no eduction too.

You’ve been through a lot. If I were in your position, I don’t think I could have managed
it as well as you have, and I say well because you got out of it and demonstrated it is possible. In my case, I had what its considered a "normal" life and family, I went to college and I am planning on doing a master, however I do not have idea on what. I want to express my admiration to you, you’ve shown a lot of courage and I thank you for sharing your experiences. I totally agree with you on the potential you have and I think you would do great and enjoy the social work field. You are still young, not even 30. If go ahead and study, you will still have at least 20 year of work in you career. In terms of cost you can apply to financial aid, I am pretty sure they will pay if not for everything, at least most of the education. A good tip its to start in a community college which is cheaper and after the "two years" you can transfer to a university. I wish you the best and congrats for you two amazing kids, God bless you!

Wow, I'm amazed your still alive and sane enough to write your story with such passion. You need to remember where you came from and be proud of where your at. Even though you don't feel you have a direction you have a story that would help a lot of youth and adults. The reason you have no job and you quit on the spot like that day is because you have another calling somewhere, sometime.. There is opportunities for those who stand there ground and hold there head up high and really own who they are and stand by it and be proud. I have spent over 7/10 in and out of jail stuck in a cycle of misery, deceit, and selfishness because I had no idea what opportunities where out there. All you need is the desire to share the things that you love or your experience, or a service. Anything can turn into opportunity if your looking. My advice to you and you do sound like you have good communication skills as you need those things to survive on the streets. If you enjoyed hustling back when it was fun turn life into a legal hustle everyone loves bright and fun people expecialy when they have such an amazing story and can be around to share experience and opportunity. Good luck and God Bless

2 More Responses

I'm 19 with two kids, a loving boyfriend, and no direction whatsoever. Money isn't a problem, but my lack of ambition is. I need something to occupy my time. I don't really have any friends. I have no talents, hobbies or interests. I take college classes online, and I don't have a job. I'm extremely depressed, overweight, and just like you, I can't/won't do anything when I don't have any direction. I sleep all day or spend time on the computer playing games, playing with my children, or watching tv. I want to do well and succeed for my children, I just don't know what to do or how to go about doing it. Please help me.

It is good you are taking online classes. That is a good start! Since I do not have kids and I do not know your specific situation my advised may or not work for you. I will suggest you to try to go to attend classes in a school instead of the online classes. You can start as an undecided major with your general requirements and on the way you may find something you enjoy. I do not know where you live, but in the agency I work, they have a day care and it is pretty neat and clean. Since you have time now, you could perhaps go online and do some research on the resources in you area/city. Try to go the board of education and ask what they can offer you for you kids. There is always help, you just have to look for it, and I mean really taking action, making phone calls..etc. Also, if you go to school you can start making friends and interact with people. Wish you the best !

ba<x>sed on all the stories I read here, people need hobbies and creative thinking to make their hobbies to career/jobs and explore potential career either through college, internships, or volunteer. A lot of people need support and motivation ,focus, self discipline& responsibility (to not ruin accomplishments), need independence and money through a okay to good job. A tough skin and Wisdom ( life experience to sail through the storms of life). Perhaps even a change of environment WITHIN REASON. Easy said than done. I analyze things now.<br />
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I'm 20 years old now. I will share my story honestly here because it's easy to share it online than to the people I know. I come from a toxic dysfunctional domestic violence type of home with parents full of problems from depression to hoarding and problems getting a good paying job. I was a strong little kid full of life and ambitions, friends, hobbies and dreams. As I got older I had to deal with home problems and school problems like bullying and worrying about my safety since I went to a dangerous school in the ghetto unfortunately. I was different than everyone and didn't fit in. I worked hard and got good grades and worked through all problems and went to a fashion high school in Manhattan NYC. There I developed so much anxiety and developed depression. My strength wore off. I had to deal with the horrible high school environment with bitchy materialistic fake students and I hated going to school both teachers and students made it a horrible experience. I didn't know if I wanted to go into fashion because of all the bullshit, anxiety and abuse of workers and models and depression that exist in it. I don't want to be in so much corruption. But you should have seen my work I was very talented and I'm used to be good in art. I don't do art or fashion because of my depression and because the school broke my dreams it was such a tough environment for such a unprepared and sensitive fragile broken soul. I have graduated 2 years ago. After graduation I decided not to go to college because 1 it was a bull **** system like the board of ed of NYC, 2 it can very expensive and can run into debt 3 I was unprepared scared and BURN OUT i needed a break and didn't want to mess college up because financial aid will be taken away and paying for school will be much harder to accomplish and 4 the most important of all I felt lost and don't know what to major in. I needed a job badly and had no experience what so ever. My biggest mistake was not applying for a job before graduating high school and not taking advantage of city programs that help youth get job like summer youth all though it's like a lottery not everyone gets a job. I was stuck at home with no friends since I broke my friendship (they were two faced and fake), no money, no experience, no school and my depression was taking over. I was becoming more dead each day that passed and losing myself and my personality just everything that makes who I am . I tried to get help by going to a clinic to get a therapist , they didn't help just take advantage of my medicaid, they gave a paper of a program who help kids out of school get jobs and that program was **** they send me to this ****** telemarketing job which I quit in less than a month, then later I got a temporary job from a teacher I still was in contact with which was a community chef that job was okay but was temporary so I couldn't keep it. Then the ****** job program from before convinced of a job I regret to this day and most of my suicidal thoughts and depression comes from the most . That job was to be a home health aid. Basically a job where you sign with a agency and got to elderly people homes and help them with chores or medicine. It's not a job for young people this job will depress you and make you fear of aging. I'm traumatize I don't want to ever age never to see my body break down in the most shocking way and would LOVE to die young than to see myself be a alive corpse like these people(no offensive for any other adults out there but this is my experience). I'm now messed up way more than when I graduated high school. I hate myself every ******* day. I was very vulnerable alone scared and had no support from NO ONE. I have no direction in life no guidance. I was naive and living in a bubble and this why this happened to me. You can't trust people these days, you can't be naive or stupid. You have to educate yourself as much as you can. You have to be careful and always stay calm and THINK. DON'T LISTEN TO OTHERS ONLY LISTEN TO YOURSELF AND WHAT YOUR HEART WANTS. YOUR HEART TELLS YOU WHAT YOU WANT AND BRAINS SAYS IF IT'S OKAY. The teacher that I stayed in contact told me that caring for people was honorable and a beautiful thing but it's horrible because that's not for everyone and YOU MUST DO ONLY THINGS THAT YOU'RE COMFORTABLE WITH. Like I said I was in a deep depression relapse and I needed money since my parents wouldn't even give my necessities like soap among other things. I wasn't in a good fr<x>ame of mind so this what happened to me . After this horrible episode of my life I finally realized how important school is and why everyone says to go and that's what you're supposed to do and blah blah blah because if you don't you will end up in a ****** job you hate getting a low pay. Even if you majored in something and figured out too late that you don't want to do that you can always change or if your degree at least you have a temporary good paying job that doesn't destroy your self worth and ego. Just saying I'm not judging anyone all I'm trying to say is it's not all bad for you guys you still have options and solutions. I now go to a community college which is okay just full of immature kids in their late teens who haven't experience horrible life lesson **** yet. It's very much like high school. I now have a normal job in retail . I wished I didn't had to learned everything the hard way. I still feel empty dead and lost. I still don't know what to major in after graduating community college since I'm in liberal arts and that only covers the basic. I still have the no direction in life and still deal with my self hatred and depression. I don't know how to move from my horrible experience but being really busy in school and in my new job helps to forget. I hate applying to new jobs because of this ******* job that haunts me, it makes me look bad and I'm so ******* ashamed. I puts this title on me. I can't tell anyone I know because they will judge me and emotionally I'm too vulnerable to handle that. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger I disagree with that ba<x>sed on everything I lived through what doesn't kill you strengthens and weakens you at the same time. Wish all the best of luck for all of you 20 something and the rest of the world who is struggling with this internal **** we have in common. Stay strong stay smart and educate yourself through books and documentaries, make good friends and analyze and question everything ( I didn't do that before). Get a support system and make the best reasonable and responsible decisions.

wow are truly awesome. you pretty much summed most of it all. I feel crazy because of all this crap. most of what you said if not all is pretty much dead center correct and im glad I found this because I thought I was the only looney bin thinking this. wish I could talk to ya more because obviously this shet is ridiculous! great advice though and I say that same shet. amen brother keep it real and hit me up guys we gotta all figure dis shet it out
im 19

I'm in a similar situation as well. I'm 22 now, I went to community college when I wasn't feeling it at the time cause I felt forced since I couldn't find a job at the time after I graduated high school. I failed all my classes, killed my gpa, and was on academic probation. Around then I had found a job, a crappy low wage job that I stayed with for two years (I tried doing 1 class for a semester cause that's all I could afford) and I was at a comfortable state where I didn't want to find another job or go to school. I still live with my parents, I just wish I had gone away to school. Now, sitting here at home jobless, with no car, no associate's. My depression has gotten worse where as I've isolated myself from anyone, no friends, haven't left my house for days if not weeks. I've struggled with depression most of my life and its eating me up. I'm trying to find a job and transfer to another community college and fix my mistakes the way I can.

Believe me your not alone. I will be forty in 6 months I have a career. I've been with the same company for 18 years. The only person holding me back from change is myself. I feel like I've gone no where in life. With that being said I have I was married for eleven years, I have three wonderful children. I've met the love of my life. I'm broke and I feel like my job is taking me no where

damn bro I feel you keep it real, do what you gotta do feel what is right and do what you need ya digggg brothaaa

I am in a somewhat similar situation. I'm about a week away from getting my college degree, in a major that I am not passionate about (great time to figure that out right?). Well what this means is that I have about three weeks to move out of my college house and find a job in a new city, but I can't bring myself to apply to any jobs because they don't interest me. I want to work for a cause that I believe in, but I don't know what that is yet. I'm afraid that if I take a lowly job to begin with, I will get stuck doing something boring and unfulfilling for too much of my life. This whole situation is causing me extreme anxiety and at times I feel seriously depressed. :(

woah..thats exactly whats happening with me for the last year or so !!! i can't give-up my degree course cause its almost over and i won't have anything if i leave it !! but my life has gotten much worse since i joined college i can't continue doing what I'm studying anymore(yeah...really dumb of me to take up something i wasn't fully sure of) but anyway now i know i can't and because of this i have completely lost interest in it and have been getting frighteningly low grades ever since....i have no direction ,full of anxiety and this has gotten really really depressing !!!

I did it, I did just that, I went to college because it was what I was supposed to do. Nobody cared that I didn't have "a dream" or goal to reach. Just that I went so I did, hoping to be inspired along the way. And I fell into a major because the classes were fun and my friends were there and I happened to be good at it. People started counting on me so I couldn't leave just because I wasn't sure, people depended on me. I was important, and hey, I'll learn to love it. Then I graduated and fell into grad school. Hey, we are in a recession, the best place for me is school while jobs are scarce, right? Three years later, I come to realize that all that school has just taught me what I don't want to do. Now I'm sitting on a mound of student debt, I'm a broke waitress with a Masters degree in a new town not knowing how I am going to pay the bills at the end of the month and I feel empty. Cause at the age of 27 and after 8 years of school, I still don't have a dream. speechless. let me know how lifes working out . I wanted to do this. should I just stay away from school? so much confusion..

Im 22 years old. Female. Lived on the beach with my best friend, right down the street from my boyfriend. Lived a carefree beach life but had the worst anxiety everyday. I worked at night as a restaurant server, and have probably around 50 community college credits under my belt with no direction and not a great GPA. Anyways, everyday I would over think "what am I doing with my life?" I would research what to do online and constantly dread going to work to serve tables. I made a decent amount of money but I felt stuck. So what did I do? decided not to re-new my lease and move in with my Dad who lives about an hour and a half away. Now Im here in a town with no one I know. Doing nothing. Cant find a job, no direction, just diagnosed with depression. I dont know what to do. I know I am not old but what the heck do I do? I dont want to serve tables anymore it makes me feel so worthless. But, i also dont know what to major in, no school would accept a low GPA like mine. I know I just need to suck it up, restart community college, and hopefully by then have SOME sort of direction of what major to choose. I know I cant dwell on the past, but it is hard to be away from what I am comfortable with. Away from my friends, my boyfriend. And for what? To be completely unhappy. Miserable. What do I do? I wish there was a map.

This sounds a lot like the past 6 months of my life.

It's nice to hear someone talk about something relatable

I am in the same exact situation. I feel like I'm losing myself completely..and I don't even know how to start picking up the pieces.

Ok so I'm 18 and I have no understanding of what I want to achieve, all I know is that by January I want to know where I'm going because let's face it its not going to happen over night ay, I get so drained in by every ones opinion I forget what my own is and that's what really counts right? So I haven't had the best childhood ever, with two half brothers one from either parent and a loving mum and dad in a happy family my life was fantastic at the age of 7 then it all started to happen my mum and dad broke up and my brothers left home to live with there other parents so it was just me and my mum at home which I came to terms with pretty quickly for the age I was at, I had a lot of counsiling which I loved to go to because well it got me out of lessons at school also it was nice t talk to them as well then my father past away when I turned ten and it sent my mum and all my family in to melt down, I wasn't really sure what to do with my self either, after a few years past me and my mum started to argue a lot mostly because she wasn't around a lot and spent most of her time with her new boyfriend I then left home at 14 to live with my grandparents who care so much for me it's a little to much, as their my grandparents and not my parents, around 1516 I started going out drinking and taking drugs from weed to pills then to extracy now cocaine, I was given 12,000 pounds at 17 wich went on a nice little car and insurance the rest on drugs alcohle and having a good time with my friends i then resieved 20,000 pounds when I turned 18 wich then again mostly went on drugs alcohol holidays and you name it i spent it.... In 9months... Rediculous I know. I'm now in my over draft and have a loan to pay off of 400 pounds which makes it sound even more mad the fact I'm 18, I have always gone through patches where I'm either really happy it's unreal and nothing can brake me to feeling broken and worn and the world caves in on me, reading the fact you guys are feeling like me has made me realise what I need and that's not to feel like this I need to feel charged with out getting out of my nut I love feeling powerful and looked up to which in my case people used to but seeing them pulling them selves together and me not I can feel my self dropping, printing so many negative thoughts into my head its horrible and I don't want to be 30 living with my grand parents or parents, or still partying what I really want Is to have that dream home and dream car in front of me, now I don't have a clue how to get there yet but I sure will do soon because all these stories have scared me showing me every thing what I don't want to be, now I'm not saying it to upset people but come on who wants this ****? No one! No one wants to be like it, but who's gonna change it, no ****** except you your the only person, so if you can't look to next year, next month, next week, or even tomorrow! Look to the next hour to the next second because were all living in the past as far as I can tell and thinking so much into **** that were not doing it! Massive reality check for me tonight and I'm sure they wll keep coming as I start to improve my life rather than thinking about improving it.

I'm 22 years old, male and directionless. I was raised to believe that you always have to try to do the right thing. Unfortunately I was also taught that I come last in those considerations. Always sacrifice yourself. Do your part to make this world a less punishing experience. It has culminated in me drifting from job to job in the service industry where people constantly abuse each other. I've come from homelessness, to living with a highly functioning meth-addict (culmination of poverty and necessity) until I was dangerously threatened for trying to help, then back to homelessness. I've got a dollar for bus fare to my name. No college and no family to help. No friends that don't take advantage of me. No luck romantically either. I'm starting to learn that the best way to earn enough resources to support yourself is to be as selfish and dishonest as possible. As up to this point, me doing the right thing has benefited others, and financially and soulfully crushed me. It seems to come down to two choices: martyr yourself for the satisfaction of knowing you were a good person, or step on everyone as benefits you and afford some comfort and success. I no longer feel spiteful toward those who choose the latter, and realize that acceptance is the ultimate tool to approaching your unavoidable future.Long story short, practice acceptance regardless of your convictions. You'll die more peacefully.

This is a very common problem,

The best thing to do is "GET INVOLVED""GET INVOLVED""GET INVOLVED" I mean really get involved!!. Become a "YES" man. You must rethink and fight against any thoughts that are "been there done that" “ there this type, I’m that type” small minded Bullshit. You are young and have your entire life ahead of you. Experience everything (good and some bad) but most importantly don’t be afraid to BE HONEST!!! (People know bullshit when they here it even if they don’t tell you!!!!!), people will gravitate towards your honesty and respect your courage and respect you as a person more. Also, by being honest and expressing yourself you will begin to learn who you really are (for better or for worst). If you have the guts to follow your heart you will find what it is you like to do most and I will guarantee it is not sit on the couch or sleep in uncontrollably.

What to do? I have the same situation. Im stuck and my plans did not play out as I though of. Im isolating myself from my friends because I don't want to burden them, i dont want to meet up with them and just talk about my problem, because I have always been the listener, the rational and the opinionated one. I did not show them my soft side coz Indont want to burden them. I find it really hard.

Molly Ringwald said “When you’re in your 20s you’re actually not that much more grown up than you are when you’re in your teen years, but everyone kind of expects you to be in this different place”. I think this pressure she's referring to contributes a lot to how we perceive ourselves as failures, or have that overwhelming feeling of anxiety that constantly washes over those of us who haven't quite decided on everything, aren't too sure about what we want, or are at a crossroads of reassessing our passions and dreams (a crossroad that is more like a road in itself). It effects me personally in that time seems to continue to speed up, and if I'm not doing something or learning something that I feel is going to contribute toward achieving my goal (which, right now, is finding out what that/those goal/s are), than I get frustrated and try and move onto something else, but everything takes so long, and it's hard to have patience when you don't feel grounded. It's a perpetual state of uncertainty and indecisiveness. I get jealous when I see people who are certain of their passions and dive in head first, sure and committed.
I spent 5 years on-and-off at university studying film and photography, in and out of different relationships, and have since up and moved to the other side of the world for reasons that I'm not even completely convinced of. I mostly wanted to travel and try and change my pattern of thinking I'd developed back home, which was neither a positive or pro-active mindset. I decided to "get experience" in the film industry over here, but the jobs I've worked I've felt have been more of a surrender to the tasks at hand, rather than something I'm focused and passionate about. While I've been able to get some work and make a few connections, I feel unprepared, almost like I'm deceiving people of my qualifications, and usually have a level of reluctance toward my jobs because of it. But on the other hand, I don't have a bigger picture of what I'd rather be spending my time doing. I've found so far, that I'm happiest when I have a good group of people to surround myself with. This idea makes me withdraw into romanticism of the past and get nostalgic for things that happened years ago, or "the way things were in 2009, boy I wish things were still like they were then!". While I place emphasis on the relationships (highschool friends that I might not be as close with anymore etc) when I get nostalgic, it usually boils down to my attitude and what I'm actually nostalgic for is the way (that I'm obviously choosing to remember) I used to be. I'm not sure if that sounds narcissistic, to be thinking about yourself to the point where you're comparing your present self to your past self, but I feel like I've become a less open, more guarded person and am more self-conscious and sensitive to peoples thoughts and reactions.
I feel like I dreamed of making films, but it was a simplistic dream that wasn't specific or thought-out enough to sustain me as vividly as I try to transition into some semblance of an "adulthood".

I could say a bunch more, but clearly everyone's self-worth and uncertainty are as complicated. I've been thinking about seeing a therapist, but I've never seen a counselor before and the idea makes me kind of nervous and edgy (an issue a counselor could probably help me to resolve since it probably stems from some form of social anxiety, but still, things seem a lot harder when you don't have comfortable group of people you can hang out with and discuss this sort of thing with).
I think partly because I've decided to separate myself from all the familiar people and things of home, a lot of which I don't have too much contact with currently, I've placed even more pressure on myself to achieve something to show for myself during this time where I've essentially chosen to isolate myself.

And on top of everything, the critical voice inside of me reflects on my concerns and worries and blows them off as procrastination. So, I'm pretty frustrated with myself a lot of the time.

I am 21 and i am lost and confused about what i want to do with my life as far as a career. I dont need to make a lot of money because life isnt all about making money just enough to be okay. I dont have many hobbies or or Interests except for Sports, and movies. I don't drink or smoke i dont hang out in bad places. I am currently unemployed I want to get Married and have kids. I don't want to be alone when i get old i think that's my biggest fear. I do have ADHD and i do have a learning disorder and probably Social anxiety but that doesn't mean i don't like to go out because i do and i am actually a very likeable person but i am very shy and wont start a conversation. I never had a girlfriend even though i want one bad because i want to know what it feels like to be in a relationship. I'm trying to decide if i should go back to school or not but i dont have that much interest in college and plus its expensive but if i did go back to school it would be like a 2 year program maybe in the medical field so i dont know what to do. I think all of us here share something.

I am 21 and have just spent the last 6 months going nowhere but in circles. I withdrew from my University with a full scholarship because after reading books by Anthony Robbins and Brian Tracy, I was so utterly Gun ho to accomplish my goals, I withdrew. Now the only way I was going to accomplish these things was through relentlessness, and I believed that to constantly move, I needed to only think positive thoughts. So by doing that I started to believe everything was awesome, even brushing my teeth or doing dishes. At this point I started to loose my mind, and after withdrawing, I got SMACKED in the face by an awful depression (in bed 48 hours just thinking and regretting.) Sister came a got me, and now Im home, no license, no friends, baker acted, confused, depressed, anxiety, lost, lack of belief, dependent. ***** status. ahhh.

Tough times doesnt last, tough people do. With that mentality you have it seems like you will never be happy.... There are way more people in this world who have it worse than you. how do you expect god to bless you with something great when your upset with life n having crazy thoughts.... Everyone goes through a depression stage. Im 20 years old & i know exactly what i want to do but have no idea on how to go about it because im letting everyones opinions on what i should do sink in my head.... my point to you is that it couldve been worst man if yu cant be happy with life now you wont be happy if your succesful n sitting on a s*** load of money!!!

23, just graduated with two degrees and hate both of the fields I got degrees in because it's filled with nothing but liars and bullshitters and becoming a fake person. I wanted to change the world and become President (of America) but my college completely sucked the interest out of me with it being nothing but a history lesson. Never had a girlfriend (even though I'm good looking) and I know early relationships aren't worth a bucket of **** just sucks.

Now I'm unemployed and can't find work in the god forsaken area of PA that has had the highest unemployment rate of any metro area for like the past 38+ months. Any time I think of a way to get out of this hell hole, my family just scoffs at the idea or says "oh boy. What is it?" It's just like "**** off." I want to do something with my life but I have no idea what I want to do and can't see what other jobs are out there because I'm trapped in this shithole.

One thing that I have going for me is that I've finally decided to get in shape. I'm not fat, but I've always been average (with a little fat in the mid section). It's just one step but I've made my Silver Lining Playbook and this is just step one.

I'm 22 and started off descent I joined the army reserve right out high school because I was the only one of my friends not to get into a university school. A year later I started community college and got my own apartment got a little to much into the parties of college lost my job and failed my classes because I couldn't afford the books and gas, I eventually had to move back with my parents. Which was slightly humiliating because I was the one who was going to do something with my life in my family. I stopped seeing my friends because I was embarrassed about my life going to s*** I got a job at a coffee shop for a bit but was miserable my parents moved to Georgia and after a few months I ended up moving there aswell because started to seclude myself from world I lost all motivation in my life and have given up completely. I know I'm still young but getting up in the morning gets harder everyday and I can see myself becoming more depressed all the time. I can't talk to my family and lose the slight amount of pride I can scrape up, they are already so disappointed in me. I hope to find a purpose one day

i have same problem wat i do?help me plz m bored of my life.

I am 30 years old, never had a long lasting relationship with anyone, therefore no real friend.I live at home with my Father and his boyfriend who can't stand me, although I do pay rent and receive social security because my depression and anxiety problem put me in a situation where I can't deal with people, so I don't even have a part time job although I have actually worked in the past.Every day is more or less the same.My parents got divorced since my Father came out of the closet.I myself am not gay but I have no current interest in women right now because of insecurities, mental not physical.I am kinda short and skinny as a rail and I look pale and sickly most of the time.I have moved to a new town every three years for the past several.I know worse things could happen and some people are worse off than me.I am a borderline alcoholic and have been having suicidal thoughts since my teen years.I feel lost and feel like I have no purpose in life.I have very few ambitions but they are kind of unrealistic.I play videogames and I feel better only when I am wasted on booze.Thw games are just a hobby and sometimes I will sit in my room in total darkness ans stare at nothing.I have no particular skills and am average at best at whatever I do.The best part of my day/night is when I am asleep so then I am oblivious to everything.I have no drivers license and have never been in love.I got kicked out of high school and I don't even have a GED.I could list more miserable things but I think you get the idea.My life sucks and that's that.

That's a really terrible way of thinking and feeling all the time. My heart goes out to you. I hope you find the peace and joy in your life that you need.

Maybe one possible short term goal would be thinking more positive. Start by looking at the things in your life that are good. Do you have a positive relationship with your father? Or other family members? If so, that\'s a blessing, not everyone has that. Just one example but it could be a healthy exercise and I\'m sure you will learn more about yourself and find a happier place as time goes on.

I got a kick out of this last night, at the same time, so much sympathy. Just a bunch of young gen x ers with no clue what to do and being completely f**ked by everything that has happened in politics and socially etc. I'm in the same boat (sort of). I'm 32 but feel like I'm about 18 again, way to young for my age and just not giving a fu** about anything cause all I can see is the hate etc. I'm trying to not be a hater. I went to college got my b.a. now I'm becoming a rapper. I dabble in a bit of everything, always need a drink. Trying not to smoke pot cause I've done enough partying to kill an elephant, but not partying is too gay, so I want to give in to these desires. I'm poor as fu** and still live with my dad who broke up with my mom when I was 18, just the product of a broken home, free spirit type. my bones are being cripped. I have a curved back, I slouch, I have social anxiety, been mad depressed and sort of like beat this stuff. No girls. They put the most boring stuff on t.v. like drag racing and if I drink my dad's gonna kick me out and I won't have a home. I'll be homeless, but at least my cd collection is phat. Anyway if any of you want to organize some kind of rally like in Washington, get at me maybe they can throw free money at us!!! Wish all you the best. Hope you find a lot of direction.

20 years old, unemployed, not studying and no idea what to do. I wanted to be an Electrician but its so damn hard to get an apprenticeship. used to work a crappy part time job, tried some other trades, didn't like them. Now I feel liking I'm sitting alone in a dingy, floating in the middle of an ocean.
Throw on top of that an anxiety disorder that makes me doubt and panic about everything.
(I would prefer to be physically kicked in the balls) im so damn confused. I dont if I should risk doing some course in uni that I might like or keep ******* around and wait well trying for a good trade. (or something else entirely)

The problem is that when your young its drummed into you that you have to do well in school, get a degree, find a high paying job and support a family. Easier said then done (especially when you want to do a trades)
So when you do finish a degree or school your left thinking "ok lets time to get a career, You try a few things that your degree got you and then realize you dont wanna do this at which point you either stay doing it because of the certainty of fulltime work or your left back where you started with your **** in your hand and it feels so scary not knowing what to do.

<p>long story short, wake up 3 years later im the manager of a hotel on the beach. sounds perfect huh? im more unhappy then ive ever been... <br />
Im 21. bossing it out as I call it<br />
<br />
I want to just quit but making 20$ an hour- may be to much to risk to leave on. this is what I thought I wanted. but its not. and now I really don't know what to do. the only thing I know is I know I can do great things for people, and what I do does not use all of my talents and abilities to understand and express and help others. well. I don't know what to do, but how much longer can I bare being unhappy in a great financial situation like this? i got this far by believing I could do anything I set my mind to, and holding myself accountable to fulfilling my dreams and desires. now im at the point where- what now? ive partied- harder than most im sure. but I feel like theres just got to be something bigger, better, more for me in this world. I have no clue- but everyday I do something other than whatever that thing I should be doing is, I feel like a failure. so hi crew. you can count me in too. we should all just go live in the jungles of hawaii together, start a tribe :)? lol </p>

Tribe? Don't kid! lol I'm 25 and can relate to the dingy in the ocean comment by the tribe member above you!

It seems every one is going thru the same thing but my situation just might blow everybody out their seats... Ok so I'm 22 now I'm pretty much in the same situation Im kinda lost but then I'm not idk it's kinda wired but here it goes... I took up of classes at a community college and then I just stop going after 3 semesters thinking getting a Job would be the best thing for now... So I got a job... Now my major is business management but it's funny because everytime I get a job into management I would get fired for doing something totally unthinkable.... Idk I think I'm just possessed or something... My first taste o management was wen I was 17 and I had got promoted to part time supervisor at ups... Couple months later I get fired for being tardy too many times... My next management destination was dollar tree I was a assistant manager for 6 months then I got fired for getting into an altercation with a customer... " that was a bummer"... Shortly after I got hired as an assistant manager again this time at dollar general after one year I got fired... Shortly after that I got another manager position at Walmart got fired in three weeks... So I'm kinda in between lost right now and also I kinda think I know we're I'm going idk but now I'm working at Walgreens and close to being promoted again but this time I think I kind of learned my lesson from the past management jobs I had... I know I'm crazy idk what's wrong with me my friend tells me I need to do some soul searching not to mention not only thru this time from me being 17 till my current age 22 I have been working two jobs but also stay wit my mom I have two cars in collections also two credit cards in collections and owe my school 2,000 dollars... It just seem like I have a real ****** life idk what to do or were to start I guess you guys can welcome me to the crew... :(

as far as the $ goes, money will always be needed.
don't let it control your ability to sense your inner desires, if you can.
if you set everything aside- what is it that YOU want. not what you think you need to do, but what do YOU want to do. really. (trying to give any advice I can to you and here if you want to talk about it)

I know I want to do something in entertainment; acting, modeling, singing. Since I was 14 (am now 28) I wanted this but never stuck with it in college. Now, I've been married, divorced with two children and working dead end meaningless jobs I feel are beneath me. I can do better and want more but am currently back home (mom wont let me go back to school) with no skills or chance to prove it.

Im 20 years old and I've read so many of these I've been through 3 semesters of college changed my major 4 times and still failed all of them... I've had 3 different jobs in the past year and I hated them... I still live with my parents and they chew me out every day to get a job... I have no clue what to do with my life... I have no motivation or direction I have all these big dreams but no drive to make them happen.... I'm an artist and you know what they say " starving artists" its very true... I love animals but I'm I'm screwed there... I tried teaching but there's to much to do and not enough money or time... I have no clue what to do and it makes me feel stupid because I'm confused.... Help!!!!

Oh man... I'm about to be 27. I make $10 an hour working in a furniture store. My IQ is 145+. My friends say I'm "MENSA smart," but I have no idea what to do with it. I pour my passion into hobbies, not my career. I write music, make board games, write stories... I'm learning to speak Turkish for fun (yeah I realize that sounds like the opposite of fun lol). I have no clue how to turn any of these talents into money, and so I just keep doing what I can to pay the bills. Best of luck my friend, I can relate to what you're feeling.

I once had someone say " you should be a boss" - it never crossed my mind prior other than thinking I wasn't good enough. apply to what you think you are qualified for, not what you think you have the experience or education for. being smart and talented like you can get you places if you believe you can. and the Turkish thing, maybe I like nerds but that's awesome.

Im 26 in couple of weeks,
I work in engineering not a great wage
Got a foundation degree in Engineering 2 years ago but because it was so complicated cant remember anything, trust me ive failed afew technical tests in intwrviews.
I Spent Months and Months trying to find my passion and all i could come up with was making money and owning my own company...
I set a selling company up made afew grand in couple month but sumit doesn't feel right yet and its difficult, feel like i mentally beat myself up every day. It's really difficult to keep yourself going when you don't no why...

I'm 17 i have a full time job in a catering company, and i'm being trained into management over this summer. I get horrifically depressed when i can't do something simple at work at the moment or someone picks up on something.
i want to make a contribution to psychedic science and philosophy. I have roughly 10 small notebooks filled with concepts, ideas and controversial logic on the matters.. like what god is, what heaven and hell are.. some days i think i'm smarter than Einstein and if i do all the things i've concluded formulate intelligence i can work on these, other days i'm the most stupid person ever. Like today i procrastinate for hours and hours feeling worthless and directionless.. like all my theories and ideas are crazy and wrong and my job will lead me nowhere..

The ONLY positive is that i have major high moods as well, and being in a trough and being uncreative and motivated only proved my hypothesises on creativity when i'm in a high.

I feel the same way. I should have graduated high school a year ago but didn't because I got depressed and hated the school I attended and the students I had to see on a daily basis. I changed schools, joined student council and I get to hear positive feedback from teachers telling me how proud they are of me and how great my life will be. But what they see is false. If they knew how stressed and confused I am they wouldn't think the same. I come home to constant stress from my family, as well as unusual amounts of chores... when I have any free time, I use it completing as much homework as I can. If i even have enough time for that. I don't get sleep because I spend too much time thinking or I just can't seem to fall asleep. My parents pressure me to do this and do that, but then they contradict themselves and yell at me for doing what I'm told. I know I want to go to college or university to get a somewhat of a good career, but I'm clueless as to what I want to do. The only idea I have is going to a different city, 3 hours away from my parents where id have a temporary place to live, a school to attend and an easy part-time job. But of course, my parents wouldn't agree. I'm trying to find a way to talk to them about it but already know I'm either going to get yelled at or just told no. If I somehow do get there, what class do I take, what do I want to do? I know what I want in life, kind of. I'm just clueless as to how to do it, how to get there and what to do. I'm with you and we're definitely not alone. But where does one get help? Who do I ask if they'll just influence me to decide on this alone. Deciding it on my own is what put me here in the first place.

hey,Im NUria,im 23,i have same problems like urs ,i really dont know what should i do now ,im close to freak out ,i wish we can be friends !

I'm 17 and I just graduated 2 weeks ago. Everyone is shoving college and jobs down my throat but I really just want to think. I have and idea but im tied to my life now because of my boyfriend who I love with all of me and he's the same. I don't want him to hold me back but we haven't been together long enough for it to be okay so far apart just yet. I suddenly realized that my lack of direction on top of my lack of any kind of motivation kills all aspects of living a fullfilling life. I can't even find a hobby to keep me busy in the mean time which bothers me. You're not alone. Definitely not alone.

today i realized that i don't want to have a degree in business anymore, I'm 19 and currently finishing my last semester at community college about to transfer to a university. Problem is if i don't like my major and have no motivation to go to school or do any of the work if i have no idea what i want to be, i want to live in the city, i want to be my own boss, i want to live life not some everyday job. I know i'm not being that realistic but i guess thats why its so hard for me to choose, like you all i'm lost and just well have no idea where i want to go.

Im 21. I have a job in a bar. But I really have no idea what to do with my life. I still live with my parents and I too just feel lethargic and have no motivation. Ive tried loads of different jobs but not one that I could consider a career in. I feel so helpless. To be honest I thought i was the only one who felt like this.

Guys, I am 21 and I feel like I wrote all these posts. I feel exactly the same! Except I have a job (two actually) but I still live at home. I've done a year of university, but dropped out because I had NO idea what I wanted to major in (still don't) and I felt it wasn't fair to me or my parents to pay a ton of money when I had no clear path. This is gonna be a long post-I need to vent!!

I did have an awesome adventure-I went abroad to Australia for a year and was a nanny. That was awesome. First time I've ever lived far away from any family. But now I feel like that never happened. I'm back living with my parents. Working ****** jobs. Saving money to move out. All I have ever wanted was to be independent and move out of my house. Why is it so hard to do that?!?? I've been saving my money for months now and still don't have enough to move out. And my parents treat me like I'm 16 when I live at home, I have a curfew and everything.

And everyone tries to help me figure out what I should do, and they ask me what I'm good at. Nothing I can make a career out of, I say. What do I like to do? I'm just not good at anything and I guess part of the problem is I don't really have any hobbies. I don't try many things because I see people that are really good at things and I'm like well I'll never be that good so why even try?

Also like another person said, I want to get married and have kids. But one thing that I really look for in a person is that they are passionate about something-I think that's the most attractive quality someone can have. But...I, myself, am not passionate about anything and I don't see how anyone could want to marry someone that doesn't have something that they are really good at! How could someone want to marry me, I'm so boring! So I worry about that a lot.

I'm just really not a school person. The jobs I know I would enjoy are also jobs that are basically IMPOSSIBLE to get (or in my mind they are). I love fashion, however can't sew or draw very well (that rules out design) but I would love to like work for a magazine or photograph (love photography although I'm not that good) for magazines, or work in the corporate side of a clothing store. Those jobs are really competitive. And I don't have a competitive bone in my body.

I know I'm just wallowing in self pity, but it's nice to know there are people out there just like me. It brings tears to my eyes to know I'm not the only one that feels this way.

Damn, I'm 29 still asking that same question. I was kinda hoping someone else had found the answer there.
Well, I will say from my experience, people are more inclined to listen to you when you have a degree. Trying to work nearly any job without one almost seems like the drudge you were speaking of. I have over 200 credits and still don't have a degree but I'll be fixing that soon. You just gave to prove to people that you can work through uncertainty. I think that was the implicit lesson college tries to arm you with before you leave.

I read something today that said it's not knowledge we need to make a decision or to know what we want to do, but experience. So i'm guessing trying loads of different things will help more to find out what you want to do in the future and you can have fun in the process. I'm gonna give it a go!

I feel the same :( I went to a trade school for my junior and senior years of high school and got my cosmetology license but I don't have a passion for it like I used to. I got a job at Great Clips and I hate it so I put in my two weeks. I feel like such a failure. I'm 18 and my mom is broke and can't take care of me and we are currently paying her to live here. In two months we have to find our own place. Danny already pays all his own bills my dad still helps with mine. But it's just like I'm not ready and I'm panicking because now I have no job and he only makes $10 an hour and just idk what to do!!! I really wish I could go back to school just idk what to go for. I have no desire for anything. I sound horrible I know. Danny tells me I'm lazy because I don't want a job where I sit or stand all day. I want to stand and sit whenever I want lol. I have no clue where to go what to do. Ugh I literally just graduated in 2012 and mom and dad are throwing us to the wolves. I'm glad I'm not alone though.

I am turning 27 tomorrow, and i am going through the same thing. I work at a dental insurance company right now answering phones, processing claims...tht sort of thing. There are jobs that came available within my company and people are telling me i should apply, apply, apply. But i have no passion for the dental insurance just pays the bills right now. I have no idea what i want to do with my life, my passions are for movies, hollywood, traveling, reading, taking pictures for fun....but what does all that lead to. A saturday night?? I have lots of hobbies that make me happy but no careen interests me enough to go for it. Have you had any progress?

I too feel this way. I feel like the rest of the world knows what they want to, im the odd one out.
when people ask me what i'm doing with my life, and i respond with "i dont know" they always then jump to "what are you good at" or "what do you enjoy doing"
see, the things i do like doing are things one cannot make a career out of. i cant feed, clothe, and house myself by reading... and truth be told, if i could, and got forced to do so, day after monotonous day, then i would no longer like reading, and i would be back to square one!
As for responding to "what are you good at?" i have never actually been good at anything. no matter how much i practice something, i am never "good" at it. i feel like i have to work my *** off just to be poor or mediocre at something, when everyone else picks things up without even trying. this leaves me feeling retarded. I am of average intelligence, but i feel like i am too immature for my age, and that there must be something seriously wrong with me. ive gotten dismissed from most of the jobs ive ever had because i "just cant seem to grasp it" or im too slow at the task.
I can see myself getting married one day, and even having kids...but no one is going to marry or have children with someone who could not support them, and i wouldnt expect that of them.
I am 23, have no job, no money, and live at home with my parents. mum is understanding, and tries to help, sending me to doctors and therapists, but my dad just thinks i am being lazy, resents me for it, and wants to kick my arse. maybe I am lazy...i dont know.... all i know is that i have no ambition, no drive, and no direction.
the worst thing of all is having no real reason to be depressed. i look at other people who are in far worse shape than on the street and doing god knows what just to feed themselves. and i hate myself even more for even feeling this way! what right do i have to complain when others have it so much worse?

i sympathise with all of you who feel similar. i know its tough...but it is nice to know that i am not the only one out there. to whoever has taken the time to read my venting, thank you! it really means a lot.

I am 28. I assure you, you are not lazy. I also feel that I have nothing I am good at, have to work my *** off to be mediocre at things, and I feel that no matter how practiced I am at something, I am never "good" at it. I suffer feelings of inadequacy everyday. I have no ambition, or drive, I also have problems of feeling way too mature. It is interesting to know that there is someone else out there that suffers as I do, I thought I was the only one. I don't understand these feelings, or if they are the normal human experience.

Earth is our playground. Remember those days. You just ran out there and did whatever. I think you all know who you are and what you want to do, but youre just trying to fit in the social norm. It feels lonely or boring at times, but then the right person / people come along and make you feel like you can do anything and will have your back. I am 31, single, in school, searching for my path to do some good for me, my loved ones, and people like yourselves. I dont facebook, twitter, linkedin, or any of that, so I sometimes feel left out and alone. But being alone isn't bad all the time. I think people need to stop being electronic. Eye contact and a smile can tell you more about someone than a text message, tweet, or a "like". Honestly, when you feel down, put on some headphones with your favorite music, go for walk, and look at the world around you. The music drowns out the outside sound and allows your eyes to see that its full of people just like yourself. Then look up and see just how big this place is. 6 billion people on this planet. I think if we just come together in the right places and for the right reasons, you will find something or someone that will empower you to do great things that you and everyone in your life will be proud of.

I dont know what I want to do either... I am 22. This year I lost my career, my partner, my home, so many of my friends. I had a car accident. Broke my hand in three places as well as my wrist at the same time. I can't even be bothered telling you all or the crap that happened. You just have to do the best you can, everyday. It doesn't matter what you want to do for the rest of your life, just work and work and work, until you figure it out. And that's for you... And for me... And for everyone that feels like this.

Forget about coming up with a career. Get married and have children.... That will be what you are meant to do (based upon what you have said). What's wrong with that?
I can think of no higher calling. Also, make sure you have a relationship with Jesus Christ, and let Him love you into the Kingdom .

It's happening guys... we are all just waking up... trying to find who we really are. I've made a post four months ago, and a lot has changed since. I'm still looking for different jobs trying one to another, but I think I'm getting closer to find what I really want to do and who I really want to be. The job almost doesn't matter anymore to me. What matters to me now is my purpose and my dreams, because those are what motivates me to really work. Find your purpose, Find your dreams. I know it's so easy to say, but this is how it works. Life is that simple, we're the only one that makes it complicated. Sometimes the universe's a *****, I know that. I'm getting pissed by what's happening to me right now and you don't wanna know, but I gotta work with it and keep hope. I know I have to go through all the mess, to get to what I really want. Because it is not given like that, you gotta go through a bunch of stuff to get yourself where you wanna be. It could take days, months and years. But you still got to believe, to believe is the real power. It sounds just like a word, but try to see it in a different way. You will amaze yourself, because you can do so much more. You know that.